28 Years Old, Fitness Model / Bodybuilder, 12A / 32B, 56kg / 122 Lbs, 154cm / 5ft. Canberra, AU

I have always been a member of the "itty bitty...

I have always been a member of the "itty bitty titty committee" for since as long as I can remember. I never really felt like I bloomed. I am a petite, athletic build, and I build muscle quite easily, so I have muscular curves (and quite a bit of booty!)... but of course, no boobs. Since I followed my passion and began competing in fitness competitions this past two years, I have well and truly lost my boobs! They disappeared when I lost weight, and have not bounced back like I hoped they would. I am finally going forward with the surgery to balance out my physique and feel feminine again. Hoping to keep you updated as I go on this journey over the coming months (and years to come!).

The before, and trying on sizers!

In the spirit of sharing, thought I would add in a few 'before' photos of what I currently look like. I'll hopefully be able to take a few clearer photos, and add a couple of clinical ones as well. I want to be as open and honest as possible with my experience, and that includes the before photos!

Currently a 10B/12A in bras, depending on which brand I am wearing. As you can see, not too much to work with in a swimsuit, but can definitely "fake" the size where I wish to :) Handy tricks, so much padding, chicken fillets - all used on an almost daily basis! Sports bras are touch and go with me, they either flatten completely, or give a teensy bit of shape. What I am REALLY looking forward to is not having to rely on the extra padding in the sports bras to give me shape. Super keen to fill out the space, and look/feel more confident in my clothes.

As for sizers, I had so much fun with making my own at home. Rice and stockings is all you need, and they work a treat if you want to simply see what they might look like under your clothes. I made 325CC, 350CC and 400CC - it was so much fun! A great way to see the difference boobs can make to the appearance! It really makes a huge difference. Seeing the photos gets me so excited for surgery!! 37 sleeps and counting! Can't wait.

Pre Op appointment. The preparations begin!

Had my pre-op appointment this week. Met with the anesthetist to discuss what happens on the day of surgery, what I can expect and the risks involved. I always knew what they were; going under comes with serious complications sometimes, but it is rare. Didn't make it any easier hearing it though! That's the part that I find quite frightening. I think most feel the same way. I am excited for the surgery, absolutely, but a part of me is a little scared too. I didn't meet with the surgeon this time around, the pre-op appointment is for the other elements of the day, and an opportunity to ask the staff questions. I really like that I was able to dedicate some time to learning from the nurses and asking the numerous questions on my mind! We have already confirmed my sizing, 325-350 CCs (depending on what looks best), I will be leaving the decision up to the surgeon, but I'd be fibbing if I didn't let you know I told him I want to go as big as we can manage without stretching my skin too far :P It's a lot of money to spend to walk away not feeling as though you gave it 100% in the sizing department. Fingers crossed! I have now also had my "pre surgery" photo taken. I say "photo" because that's all it was! 3D imagery is amazing, and you can see my boobs from EVERY angle imaginable, it looked so fascinating. Will be a great way to compare post-surgery too. I can't post it on here unfortunately, I don't have a copy, as much as I would like to share it with you. Now I am just waiting for the private hospital to call and confirm my time of surgery, and any other details I need to know. To be honest, I am not 100% sure on the pre-op and post op instructions as I have not been given them as yet. The hospital will talk me through that when they call :) As my surgery fee includes an overnight stay in the hospital, I don't need instructions on the post-op care until the day after, because I won't be going home, I will be staying the night. I am so happy about that, makes me far less stressed about managing it myself in the first 24 hrs. I am not very good at recovery, my body really gets thrown around, so it makes me a lot calmer knowing for at least 24 hrs, professionals will be taking care of me. Anyway, that's all of the update I have for now. Hoping the hospital call soon (but they probably won't until a week before hehe) I am getting so impatient now! Can't wait!

Getting closer!!

17 sleeps until surgery, I can't believe how fast time is flying by! Didn't think I would be watching the clock so much, but I am - super excited about surgery day! The hospital have not called me about my surgery yet, they won't until about a week pre-day, I am so anxious to hear from them. In preparation though, I have gone and bought a new set of bras for post surgery. On the advice of a few girls here, I bought an extra couple just to wear between washes. Unfortunately my surgeon only has one to buy, but it is alright to wear a "replacement" whilst the actual surgery bra is being washed. They don't take long to dry, so should not be an issue. I've attached picture of the bras. Bought them at KMart for under $20, so comfortable! Bought them an extra couple of sizes bigger than my usual 8's - swelling and new boobs will probably mean I will not fit anything I already own!! Still set on the size I discussed with my surgeon - my partner agrees with what we have chosen too (which is awesome), but is always willing for me to go bigger, as long as they don't look like "bolt on boobs" so to speak. I was never after that look anyway, so I trust my surgeon will not create that look! Super keen!! Sorted out payment too, heading into the surgeon's office early next week to finalise the bill. Once that happens, all that is left is to pay the hospital on the day and I'll be set! My surgeon has all of his BA patients stay a night in the private hospital associated with the practice, so that all after-care is in house and controlled by the surgeon's staff for 24hrs. I am looking forward to being put up and looked after by medical staff for the first 24 hrs, will take a bit of the pressure of my partner if something were to happen post surgery (I react terribly to things, so it is entirely possible!). Drains have been spoken about - has anyone experienced that? I know what they are, but would be really keen to hear about anyone's experience! It sounds so odd, but makes alot of sense to have them. Thanks so much for all of the support on here girls, it's awesome. Hoping my story helps some others out there too. Will keep updating you as I get closer, and for surgery of course! :)

Less than 10 sleeps to go!

I have less than 10 sleeps to go!! Wow, we have hit single digits, and I am so excited.

I was not going to tell my family about this surgery at all. I assumed it wouldn't be well received, and nothing positive would come of the news - I was very wrong. Today I drove home to tell my Mum (only Mum at this stage) - and you know, she was very supportive. She remembered my wishing I had them when I was much younger. I would always talk about it, stuff my bras, want to "fix" the smaller boobs, so this didn't come as a surprise. She always thought I would eventually end up going through with changing this about myself - which is very true, but I did not expect Mum to still know this, or to remember. My Mum does not like hospitals, or surgery, so I always assumed the response would be negative. It wasn't!

Moral of the story - never assume anything! If your gut tells you to do something, you should do it. Always have the hard conversations, it takes weight off your chest/shoulders, and helps you move forward without stress. That's what I feel now - like a weight has been lifted. My partner is going to be there for me as my "nurse" for the weeks I need to recover, not Mum, but she knows I will be going into surgery now. It makes me feel a whole lot better knowing that I have told her about it.

Still have not managed to pay the entire amount for the procedure though - which is stressing me out! I have the money, but the bank insisted on drawing a cheque for the amount (this takes so much time!!) ... unavoidable, but the hardest thing is keeping in constant contact with the surgery. I am so thankful to them, they have been so understanding. Honestly, I couldn't thank them enough. Being honest throughout the whole ordeal as helped too, as they know I am keeping in contact and updating as best I can. If I don't have it sorted this week though, we will have a bit of a dilemma, so I am crossing my fingers on that one. Word to the wise... don't leave your finance last minute ladies, you can run into snags that you can't control!! I organised the extra $$ I needed (approved and ready) 7 weeks ago, and I am still not able to pay just yet! Always try and do these things as quickly as you can because you really can't predict the timeframe - financiers have control of that one!

Anyway, on a much less stressful note, I have 3 weeks off work, which I know will give me enough time to be fully recovered and ready to go back into my job at full speed! I am very thankful to be in a situation where I can take time off like that. I know it will help me in the long run :) I will continue to keep you all updated. Fingers crossed my next post is a little more positive!

It's all finalised!

I am finally all paid up - 1 week to go. The surgery was so understanding about it all, and an absolute dream to talk to. I couldn't recommend Canberra Plastic Surgery high enough to be honest, I am just stoked. It could have been such a serious set back for me, but it wasn't. Now I can head into the final week pre-surgery with no stress. I am starting to get a bit nervous if I am to be frank about my feelings, but excited at the same time. It has flown by and I can't believe it is almost here! I will be sure to take some before photos as promised, and will share over the weekend - trying to find some great "before" clothing examples that will fit my boobs post surgery (haha, I am quite petite and love my tops tight, so this is proving to be funny!) Anyone got any advice on things I can't go without post surgery!? I have my stool softener, body pillow, collection of movies/tv shows to watch, neck pillow and straws for drinking! - any further ideas are very welcomed! I want to be as comfortable as possible of course. Also got my prescription filled today too - Going to be taking 'Tramadol', a codeine free pain medication. I do not react well to codeine at all, so this is not going to be as strong, but will do the trick. Happy to have an option that won't make me violently ill! Don't want that after surgery, that's for sure. On a side note, smashing my workouts at the gym this week - REALLY smashing it, pushing myself like crazy and going all out. Knowing I won't be able to lift heavy, or exercise as much as I currently do (6 days a week!) is very hard to accept - I am dying a little inside, so am making up for it by working extra hard! Some might think I am a little crazy, but I love working out so much. I compete because I train, not the other way around, so not being able to exercise is a sacrifice for me. I will be sure to also include my transition back into fitness post surgery too, in case there is anyone else out there holding back because of that issue! I'll update you all soon :)

3 More Sleeps! Eeeeeeek!!

3 more sleeps until D-Day! I am so excited and feeling all of the emotions under the sun! You can only imagine the spectrum - from happy, to excited, to impatient, then angry (at myself for not doing this sooner), to elated and bouncing around the room, to scared, to nervous haha you name it!!

The hospital called me and my appointment time is middle of the day - probably means surgery will be early/late afternoon. This is alright by me, but I will be waiting for so long and fasting too! Oh the fasting will be hard - as a fitness model and heavy weightlifter I eat so much food (2500+ calories a day!), so fasting just doesn't work for me haha, what we do for boobs!

Finally taken some before pictures for you - very small boobs, I go between a 10B and a 12A, neither fit well, they're just the best sizes available. You can see I am not too deflated or anything, just smaller than I would like, and much too small for my growing muscular frame!

I picked up a few more things for post surgery today - apple sauce, easy to heat soups, microwave rice, straws for drinking and some plain crackers. Definitely expecting to be quite ill for a little bit, as it is my body's way of reacting to stress a lot of the time, so these things will really help me fill my stomach without being too overwhelmed.

Well, hopefully it is smooth sailing from here! Can't wait to update you all Tuesday, it's not long now. I will try my best to keep this going :)

What is in my overnight hospital bag?

Hi all,
Thought I would put up a little post about what I am taking in my overnight hospital bag. My surgeon has me booked into the hospital overnight so a bag of my personal things is needed - wanted to share in case anyone else has to stay overnight too.

Travel pillow - for my neck in case I am quite uncomfortable sleeping/napping
Hoodie & trackies - I will be wearing these into surgery, so they will be with me, and I will change into them to leave the hospital as well - not Tshirt/top as I will just zip up my hoodie over my bra
Pajamas - For sleeping in! Just in case I am asked to change/or don't want to sleep in my hoodie and trackies
Fresh underwear - for obvious reasons haha, but just in case.
Toiletries - toothbrush, toothpaste, face wipes and baby wipes. Just the essantials, nothing dramatic, and no makeup - I don't feel the need.
Books/magazines - reading material to keep me entertained for the 24hrs, just in case I feel up to it
iPad/charger/ph charger - can't forget those! Another way to be entertained and of course, Real Self updates!!
Drink bottle - mine has a straw, so this make it easy to drink from post surgery.
Medication - both pain meds (in case I need them) and my stool softener, the pain medication makes you so constipated I have heard, so best to carry these with me everywhere!
Headphones - to listen to entertainment if I am feeling up to it.
Pen/journal - again, if I am feeling up to it, just to write down things, I like to document my experiences.
Lip balm - never leave without it! Will always be with me, I really can't stand dry lips!

Anything else anyone can think of, I welcome it, just let me know! 2 sleeps to go!!

It's the night before!

Oh wow. Now this has come up quickly. Tomorrow is surgery day! I thought I'd give a quick update. Currently sitting in bed trying to sleep!! As you can imagine, so excited, nervous, impatient - all of the feelings at once. Still have to wait tomorrow until my scheduled midday appointment - I think surgery is 130pm or 2pm. Long wait!!

I'll be up at 5am, so I can eat a light breakfast. Don't want to have not eaten anything for over 12 hrs, that would drive me nuts! 6 hours of fasting is enough torture - as a fitness finatic and bodybuilder I live for food. The fasting is going to be hard.

Took some final before photos in a few different tops. Usually don't wear them much as they need boobs! I'll be sure to post them soon. Anyway, better try to get some sleep. Early wakeup for me!

Breakfast! Less than 7 hours to go

The day has arrived! I can't believe it. Time has gone by so fast, but I am very excited. It's 530am in Aus and I am braving the Winter cold and eating a simple breakfast (when I'd much rather be in bed still sleeping! Haha) - vegemite on toast and a cup of green tea. That's it for me. No more liquid or food until post surgery! Going to be super hungry, but I think I'll be so excited that I won't notice, hopefully.

Have attached some final before photos of me wearing a couple of my favourite tops, and a sports bra. It demonstrates really well what I am working with now - hope to post after photos side by side when I'm up to it!

Still can't believe it's day of. I'll share as much as I can once I am in there, or more likely post surgery, depending on how I am traveling. Wish me luck!!

I finally did it! 325CC round HP mentor implants

Hello all! I finally did it. Surgery is all done :) I'll take you through it as best I can. Arrived at the hospital to fill out paperwork at about 12pm, was taken back to the theatre area about 30 minutes later where I had to say goodbye to my partner. Nurses looked after me and I changed into my gown by 1245pm. I then has to wait around until surgery time (2pm) - it was lovely though, reclining chair and magazines. Not a bad set up all. I even got a toasty warm blanket while I waited - awesome on such a cold day. Surgeon came and drew on my boobs about 1.45pm, had a quick visit from the anesthesist and off they took me to the operating room. Was on the table at 2pm exactly. Fell asleep pretty quickly after the drip was put in. Woke up in recovery about 5pm - was looked after so well in the hospital for a couple of hours, then moved to my hotel room when I was ready. Nurses came and checked on me every 3-4b hrs. Pain was not too bad, just felt heavy. I was too groggy and really nauseated to notice. The meds made me quite ill, which wasn't nice. Took the entire night to subside. Managed to eat my dinner though - steak and veges. Had a tough sleep, not alot of solid sleep at all. Maybe 4 hours total, if I'm lucky. That was very broken too, kept waking up aching - & don't underestimate how numb your legs and butt get from lying and sitting for so long. The drains really didn't bother me at all, I didn't even remember they were there half the time. Bathroom was a bit hard had to have my carer help, but didn't notice their existence otherwise. Had them removed this morning. Strangest feeling! Not painful, just odd. Drip was also removed. I'm at home now - ride home was so hard, with all of the bumps! Felt every movement. Will be resting in bed for now. We'll see how I feel later tomorrow Much warmer in bed anyway! I'll keep sharing as the days go on! Can't wait until I can shower haha oh the little things!

Day 2 post op. Feeling as expected

Day 2 post op and feeling as you would expect. Very tight, still a little groggy, but overall I feel I am improving. I can't reach for anything above my head, can't hold anything more than a light glass, but can pull and push slightly (opening the fridge for example!) & some doors to cupboards :) Still on pain meds today, but much less frequently. Probably won't be needing them tomorrow. I am feeling alot better than I thought I would be 2 days post. Spend alot of time sleeping and resting as I was quite ill, but have been keeping my food down, feeling better with each meal. Started with light crackers and gingerale, now eating protein/rice/veges no troubles. Feels great to have a full belly :) Managed to take off the surgical bra today - there was no way I could do that yesterday, super sensitive and so swollen - hurt too much. That has subsided a bit, thankfully. My body is certainly a sensitive thing! I am reacting to everything, but I know it's only temporary. That's what gets me through! Keen to keep sharing. So far so good.

Day 3 update

Day 3 and going well. Pain gets less each day, but still very tight. PS mentioned I would have a bit of tightness as we squeezed an implant in there! It is to be expected - it hurts underneath more so for me, not up top, like I have read from most reviews. Sore in the underarms a bit as well, if I don't move around and sit for a couple of hours (like a sleep), I wake up with a bit of an ache there. Entirely normal though, there is nothing unusal about those pains. Much like muscle soreness after the gym, day 3-4 is always worse! I'm used to that haha Haven't gone anywhere since surgery, just been resting at home. My first post op appointment is not until next week, so I think this will be my first outing. Haven't showered just yet either, will be doing that this evening. I've been 'bird bathing' up until now. Not the same!! Can't wait. Started massaging today too - feels so weird!! Have to get used to it though, will be a daily occurance from now on. Overall, doing really well. Loving the new girls. Can't wait until I can start to feel myself, and can try on some other clothes!

5 days post op!

Feeling great considering it has been less than a week since my operation. I am still unable to lift anything at all, nothing more than half a glass of water, or a cup of tea. Can now actually drink these without a straw - but I wouldn't call doing that entirely painless. It depends on the time of day. I am still unable to lift my hands above my head at all - funny, as my microwave is above my head! I've had to use a stool to add height haha so it doesn't hurt to put things in and out. Haven't left the house yet either, just recovering comfortably at home - sleeping upright, otherwise I can't get myself up! Morning boob is a huge thing too, feels so much worse first thing in the morning, hoping this goes away as time carries on. Had an assisted shower yesterday, could not have done this without help! Will try again tomorrow and see how I go solo. Doing pretty well overall, feeling good. Loving them and loving the progress so far.

First post op appointment - Day 8

First post op appointment was this week. It was the first time I had left the house since arriving back from the hospital last week. I showered unassisted the night before - it was okay - I wouldn't call it easy though... took me twice as long! Managed to get myself ready without too much trouble that morning, easier than I thought it would be. Once you start moving and warm up the muscles you haven't used too much since the op, it gets better. I also drove myself to the appointment, about a 45 minute round trip. It wasn't comfortable, but it was manageable and I felt safe. Hurt under the armpits more than anything else, and made me quite tired.

Doctor has given me more massaging to do each day, just to loosen the pocket and encourage the implants to settle well - hurts a little, but I know it's for a good cause.

After yesterday's outing I am so sore today. Armpits hurt and where I have been massaging is a bit tender to the touch. This is normal though, considering I haven't done that much physical activity since surgery. Doc has also given the clear for light walking at the 14 day mark. My skin is still quite tight and needs another week to stretch to avoid bleeding. I am happy with that, better to be safe than sorry.
Chomping at the bit to be active again, but I'll be following the advice from my surgeon to a T!

Don't have to wear the surgical bra all of the time now, only at night. I can wear any type of supportive sports bra, but no underwire at all. This is to ensure the incision heals as best it can. I don't want a crazy scar, so will be doing what I am told here. I'll have to find some good sports bras then, any suggestions welcome! Heavy on the support though, he made it clear that the bra had to keep my breasts elevated and not sagging or too free moving.

I also still sleep at 45° at night and will continue to do so for a few weeks, until it is comfortable to lie further down. I will gradually make my way down to flat. This is primarily my choice, surgeon said 2 weeks I'll be fine to sleep flat no worries.

I still waddle like a duck though, which is a little funny! I'm not 100% comfortable walking around at normal speed, which must look really hilarious to onlookers. Even driving over bumps was still uncomfortable, but I know this will improve over time. We'll see how the next few days pan out. Taking it very easy as the outing to my appointment has made me very sore and a bit swollen. Hopefully it calms down over the next few days :)

Fortnight update! Already two weeks

Wow, time flies by. Can't believe it is already been 2 weeks since my BA. Since I last posted, everything has been going well. I've had good days and worse days, but they're all part of the journey.

On good days, I can reach and do normal things without issue. I've been stretching my arms slightly to help ease the tension in my armpit and to help get the movement back. I have a feeling, that due to my muscles being active everyday for 2 years, and then nothing at all for 2 weeks - they've seized up :( I'm trying to reverse this a little each day. It's getting alot better each day :)

On the worse days, I have ridiculous nerve pain! Wow, but it comes with the deal, so I expected it. It catches you off guard though, one moment you'll be fine, next minute a shooting pain hits your boob and you squeal a little (at least I do!) This will subside over time, but I know it will hang around for months yet. Have to get used to it.

I can shower on my own now, no troubles, except for the occasional ping as I reach up to wash my hair. So much nicer to be able to shower by myself now, not taking as much time as before either, starting to get back to normal.

I tell you what I am definitely not used to though - them being so big! I bang myself on things, bang my hands on them and forget they're there! I go to scratch my chest, and forget how big they are now. I know it will take time for me to feel as though they're a part of me, for now, it's still odd :)

Scars are doing well. PS told me to manage them at my own discretion. If I can see they're healed over, I can stop wearing tape to protect them - but only if my sports bras don't irritate them. Right now I still have tape as they're not healing evenly, & are still quite sore and lumpy. The stitches will take ages tl dissolve, I know this, but I would rather play on the safe side and wait until they're further healed before letting them be unprotected. How long did others wait until they stopped taping?

Loving how they're looking though! I am not seeing too many changes day by day now - I imagine they'll come weekly for a while and then monthly. I'll be sure to keep you all updated as best I can on a week by week basis - and especially when I feel comfortable trying on my favourite tops and showing off before/afters. I am headed shopping for new tops and dresses for work this weekend, so I'll share what I find! :)
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