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still frustrated

Most days I am pissed I had my stomach done. My boobs are cute and perky and I am glad I went with the lift seperately. Augmentation is still not scheduled yet. My stomach is just a source of sadness for me most days. The center of my stomach is painful...if I even lay my kindle across it I feel a slight pain...what is that? My vertical scar is still red and ugly. But what bothers me the most is how swollen it is most of the time. Some nights I even feel like my incision is going to split open. I'm working out a good hour a day. Could this be a result of that? Who knows! I'm avoiding salt and now using turmeric daily. I didn't expect to have a tummy tuck and all the sudden have a perfect body. But I have one spot about 1x1inch above my incision that does not swell and makes me feel like THAT is how my whole stomach should have looked after surgery. It is flat and and tight. When I brought it up 4 weeks ago he said I should get lipo when I get boobs. That just made me feel shitty. I don't want lipo...I was using a tummy tuck as a solution for losing a ton of weight and my tummy flab was holding me back. Some days I regret my decision. I need to continue to work out and eat right. I go back to ps on Monday...hopefully he has some insight or solutions.

4 weeks on Friday

Feeling great. Started arm work outs yesterday. I really wish I could do more and workout. I swear I am more critical of my entire body now. My thighs especially right now...I'm going to ask Dr if I can start the squat challenge.

My scar is pretty amazing all around...so tiny and not red. My vertical incision is still pretty awful. Part of me thinks if I had known prior to surgery about having to have a vertical, I would have not gotten the surgery done. One Side of the incision is tight and flat (too tight) and the other side if a chunk of flesh. It's ugly and I try not to look at it or I will cry.

I get frustrated because I DID NOT have a tummy tuck to lose weight or be slim. I did it to get rid of all that flesh that was a reminder of the person I once was. The fat mom. But wearing clothes is so frustrating because I look like there is no difference around the middle....oh and now I literally have no boobs. Basically I feel like I still look like a hot mess except I actually feel like [RS bleep] some days because I am recovering from surgery.

I hope I get to the point of liking my results instead of being critical. Maybe time will tell...I go back on Monday.

full body