Silicone breast implant removal- Out one month to the day California, CA

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I had breast augmentation a few weeks ago and I...

I had breast augmentation a few weeks ago and I already HATE them. I should have thought harder/longer about getting them and done more research...I never would have done it. I hate having these things in me; despise, actually.
I went in to see my PS and told him I wanted them out. He tried to convince me to keep them and gave me this whole speech on how I should seek psychological help since this is SO rare, there MUST be something wrong with me. Uh, okay. Sometimes we think we want something until we have it. We're not all perfect, we make mistakes. Besides, it's MY body...and you already got paid!

Anyway, explant is less than two weeks away. I'm SUPER excited to be getting rid of these things and getting my real body back. I'm also nervous for the procedure itself because I'll be awake (under local). I'm sure I'm making it worse in my head as the seconds tick by and keep trying to tell my brain that it'll be somewhat like going to the dentist...once the numbing part is over is should all be smooth sailing from there, I hope.

I feel angry at myself for doing this to my body and for the money spent on the ps is taking them out free of charge. I feel guilty that my husband has had to take care of me and he'll have to take care of me again for a short while after this. I'm the type that HATES having to ask for help and lose my sense of independency. I hate that he's had to take time off work for the first procedure and other appointments and simply for having to deal with this emotional roller coaster.

I can't wait to get this done and start putting this whole thing behind us so we can get back to normal life.

I'm so happy I found this site and all the wonderful women willing to open up and share their experiences.

Thankfully getting them removed

I had 350cc (both breasts) silicone implants placed under the muscle almost 3 weeks ago. It may sound weird to some but I immediately knew it was a HUGE mistake. I expressed my concerns with my PS and after first trying to talk me out of explant, he agreed. I'm 11 days out and cannot wait. It seems like time is going so slow; mainly because I just want them out of my body and partly because I'll be under local anesthesia. The thought of being awake is slightly frightening but I'm trying to approach it the same way I would going to the dentist for some work- just have to get past the few seconds of needle pain to numb the area and I should be good to go. They are also prescribing me Valium and I am to take 1, along with 1 antibiotic 1 hour before my surgery. I'm hoping that's enough to calm my nerves. I'm not a total wuss when it comes to pain, I've had several tattoos and piercings with barely a flinch. I'm not deathly afraid of needles either and am always able to watch anytime I need blood's just that this is totally different than anything I've ever had to do before. It's rather nerve-wracking.

I have no second thoughts about the explant and only wish I put as much thought into getting them. If only we can send a message back in time, eh?!

Waiting is the worst. Too much time to over analyze every detail of the procedure. How much is it going to hurt when they numb me up? Am I going to see what's going on? ..because I don't wanna! Will there be any complications? What if I still feel what's gong on? Yikes!
The waiting game is no fun!

So I go in on August 10th and will be free of this mistake and can start moving in with my life. I'm fortunate to have an incredible husband who had been by my side all the way. He supported my decision for BA and he's super supportive now. Although I feel super guilty about the money and time invested in this process he's never once mentioned it; only saying that he wants me to be happy. He took such great care of me following my BA, taking time off work for it as well as to drive me to my appointments, he stayed in bed with me holding my hand until I drifted off to sleep, he helped me shower, he made sure I ate and took my meds...I couldn't have done this without him...and he keeps reassuring me that I will get through this too.

I've heard that the removal procedure is a lot easier and less time consuming and that typically the recovery process is also shorter and usually easier than the augmentation itself; I hope so!

I want so badly to get back to normal life and move on.

T minus 11 days until I'm free of this burden :)

Finally brave enough to post a pic

Here are a few pictures

9 1/2 days away!

Well, I'm 9 1/2 days away from explant and I'm super excited. The fears and major anxiety I've had over the last 3 days of the procedure itself wasn't so bad today. I've found a lot of comfort in the advice and support from all the wonderful women on here that have previously or are currently going through the same thing.

I have no fears of what my breasts will look like post explant; especially since I'm getting them removed so early month to the day of implant. My biggest anxiety stems from the explant procedure itself as I will be awake under local anesthesia.

Today seemed to go by rather quickly which I'm so happy about. The hardest part is the waiting. At least it's Friday, so there's that :) I'm looking forward to walking up tomorrow and bring able to day 8 1/2 days until explant lol

Now, I'm an extremely lucky woman to have such an amazing husband by my side throughout this whole process for if it had not been for him I probably would have lost it by now.

Slowly getting there!

8 1/2 days!!!

Finally Saturday. The week went fast in a slow way, if that makes any sense lol
I fell asleep rather early last night, around 10:30; I know, Friday night partier lol. The down side was waking up minutes after 6am on a Saturday morning. Hubby was super sweet and went to Starbucks to get me my favorite; Nonfat carmel frapp (I'm a lucky lady).

I keep going through moments of being brave " I GOT THIS! " and moments of " OMG can I do this? ". There's no question or doubt that I want these OUT, just moments of nervousness for the procedure.

Here's to hoping the next 8 1/2 days go rather fast. Too much time gives me the ability to build up crazy scenarios in my head and making what's probably something very simple into going to the electric chair ha. The waiting game is the worst!

Getting impatient

Husband is asleep next to me in's almost 5pm but I'm gonna let him sleep, poor guy has been nothing but helpful and nonstop going since this all started. Not only putting in 12-13 hour workdays but coming home to help me with the things I still cannot do. I owe him BIG once this is all over lol.

I'm growing impatient and just want the 10th to hurry up and get here. I want to start the healing process, both physically and emotionally. I broke down for a few minutes earlier, feeling really stupid for this poor decisions. I just can't believe I did this to myself. I'm trying to remind myself that this is just temporary and in a little over a week I'll be feeling so much better (despite any pain or discomfort from the explant) that these awful bags are out of me. It's hard because it seems so far away.

So I'm laying here in bed next to my amazing and sleeping husband haha watching reruns of Law & Order...trying not to fall asleep or else I'll be up all night.

A.U.G.U.S.T. 10TH....HURRY UP!

7 1/2 days to go

Sunday morning- Extremely tired! Falling asleep last night was a difficult task, wish I had the same problem with waking up. Nope! Up at 6am on SUNDAY :/

I'm having another down moment. Questioning if I'm strong enough to brave through the explant surgery. I know I want them out, no doubt about it, but can I really get through this...while awake? Ugh! I know in the back of my mind I CAN but I can't help but question my ability to do so.

Looking forward to marking another day off the calendar. Slowly getting there.

I'm so happy I have somewhere to turn to for unlimited love, encouragement, understanding and advice. Thank you, ladies!

Oh so tired

This whole ordeal is so tiring yet I can't get much sleep...I try to take naps, that doesn't work. Falling asleep at night is a struggle. Sleeping in, forget it! I have a feeling that Monday night will be my first good sleep since this all started; and I could really use it right now! I've said it before and I'll say it again...come on August 10th!!!

Women: Please think long and hard before you do this to yourself. Always remember that breasts aren't everything and how big or small they are does not define you as a human being. Love yourselves the way you are.
In my personal opinion, none of this has been worth it.


Well, hubby decided to go into work for a few hours; can't say I blame him, I haven't been much 'fun' since all of this started. In bed wishing to be able to take a nap but nothing yet, sigh. Thank goodness for Law and Order reruns..yes, I could watch these all day lol.
I guess time is going rather quickly, although show for me right now. Before I know it it'll be explant day and I'll probably be nervous as hell and about to puke wishing I had one more day to "prepare" haha. I keep trying to map out the events in my head, not sure if that's making it worse or better...
Get dropped off, check in, go get changed, they'll numb me up, take me to the operating room..please let me listen to music! Lol...get started, hopefully time flies and I'll be home before I know it.
I keep telling myself over and over "you can do this! ". It's crazy because I wasn't nervous at all for the augmentation itself and now I feel like I'm carrying all the nerves for both the procedures :/
....S.E.V.E.N. A.N.D. A H.A.L.F. M.O.R.E D.A.Y.S!!!


It's still Sunday :/ haha
Today hasn't been a good one. Not feeling very well. Nausea really bad, threw up once earlier but a very tiny amount. My temperature keeps fluctuating between 99.4 & 100.1. Was able to eat some Chicken Noodle Soup just now- wanted something light, hopefully I can keep it down.

I feel so bad for hubby having to put up with all this crap but he's being a real trooper.

Still haven't been able to sleep and trust me, I've tried. My biggest problem keeping me awake right now is the nausea. This really sucks, not gonna lie. I'm so very tired. I wish it were possible to fall asleep and stay asleep until the 10th. Beating myself up again for doing this to myself...I won't be able to start moving past this as long as they're in me. A part of me hopes my PS will get a cancelation and ask if I want to move it up...but I'm sure I'll have no such luck lol
I could really use a visit from the Sandman right now.

It's Monday...just not the 'one' lol

Well, it's Monday morning. Wrong week though haha. Only one more weekend stands between me and freedom from this. I'm praying for a fast week.

Happy Monday all ?

Just heard from my PS's office

So, I thought I'd share that I just heard from the receptionist/nurse from my PS's office- I feel a little more comfortable about the procedure. She was specific about what will happen once I arrive.
Check in at 2. Wear comfortable clothes. No makeup or jewelry. Don't eat or drink 2 hours prior. Take 1 Valium & 1 Antibotic 1 hr. prior. Upon arrival I will change into the lovely blue 'shirt', the dr will give me a shot in my hip with something to calm me even more. Then he will numb up the incision site (along the same scars from the augmentation), once I'm numb I'll be taken to surgery. He will open me up asking the same scar and remove the implant and then sew me back up and repeat in the other side. The nurse is so sweet and promised she'd be there holding my hand the entire time and that it'll go fast.
I feel a little better now and can't wait for next Monday :)

In my opinion

I hope that by posting this I may be able to help another woman considering breast augmentation..

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE think long and hard before going through with this procedure. I got my BA done a little over 3 weeks ago, I jumped in thinking everything would be wonderful and after the healing process I'd be having SO much fun with my new breasts. This was not the case for me. I immediately HATED them. Just the thought of them inside of me made me feel sick. I did my research on breast implant removal (explant) and luckily stumbled upon this site. It was amazing to me all the women that felt the same way I did. Many hating them after several years and many hating them immediately but carried them around for years in the hopes they'd grow to like them. I've even read many stories of women getting sick and the only link seemed to be the implants.
I thought I was alone in the way I felt, especially after my PS told me that my feelings were so uncommon and that most women LOVE their implants.

Finding this site showed me that I wasn't alone and I have connected with so many wonderful women on here that have advised and encouraged me and are truly helping me get through this. Not only am I carrying guilt for the large amount of money spent but I'm angry with myself for not only putting my mind and body through so much all at once, but putting my husband through all of this, too...although he has been AMAZING! So, I am currently playing the waiting game for my explant in 6 1/2 days; my implants will be removed under local anesthesia....I will be awake. I was majorly nervous for that this past week. After talking to several women who have done explant through this method and heating their stories, and getting a detailed description from my PS, I'm not AS nervous, but still a little. My mind is all over the place. This whole experience has taken a toll on my mind and body. Severe neck and back pains. Restlessness. Barely any sleep. Upset stomach. Early menstruation. Horrible headaches. Loss of appetite. Weight loss. Sadness. Wracked nerves. It's been a crazy roller-coaster of emotions.

I am lucky enough to have family and friends supporting both my implant and explant decisions and am incredible husband who has been here for me every single step of the way; I couldn't imagine going through this without him. I know I'm very lucky as not every woman has the same kind of support.

So ladies, please think very carefully before doing this to yourselves.

I think the most important thing is to love yourself the way you are and only then will you TRULY be happy. Fake boobs are only a false sense of security and self worth. You are NOT defined by your bra size! Love yourselves ?

6 1/2 days to go

I'm happy to say I finally got a good night's sleep, thanks to a couple Tylenol PM lol- although I woke up at 4:30 am and started my period..a week early :/
I'm finally feeling a little better even though my temp keeps swinging between 98.8 and 99.5; better than it was.

Talked to my PS's nurse/receptionist today and she ran over ALL the details of the procedure and assured me she would be there holding my hand the whole time so I feel a little better about doing it. I think the hardest part now is waiting. I'm more than ready to purge myself of this entire process and start healing. I'm ready to get back to being me for myself and my husband. It's been a short yet loooong road.

One day closer! :)

Beyond ready to be rid of these

Thought I'd share a few photos.
24 days postop from BA- 6 1/2 days preop from explant. I am so ready for them to be gone!


Settling in for the night...the thought just hit me that by this time next week my implants will be out and I will hopefully be resting 'comfortably' in bed. I'm so happy I still have pain meds from the augmentation haha. I plan on taking some before the local and Valium wear off in hopes of avoiding any substantial pain. I'm still slightly nervous but super excited too. I will soon be back to myself and free of this stupid, stupid mistake. Totally wish I had a fast forward button for life right now :)

It's Tuesday! 5 1/2 days to go :)

Alright, so it's Tuesday morning and it hit me...5 1/2 days to go, thank God! Getting there slowly but surely. By this time next week I'll be entering my 17th hour post explant, I'm hoping for somewhat smooth sailing. I'm getting more and more excited as the days grow closer. I will soon be purged of these disgusting things. I am SO happy I realized and acted on the fact that these were not right for me instead of letting my PS talk me into keeping them for a few months. I've read stories from other women who didn't like them but waited years before explanting in hopes they end up liking them, or, at the very least, just getting used to them; I couldn't imagine unhappily carrying these around for so long- these past 3 weeks have been miserable for me. You ladies are so strong!

Yesterday seemed to go pretty fast so I'm praying for a similar outcome for today, and the rest of this week. It's getting real now. I know I'll be so much happier and do will my husband...he hates seeing me so miserable.

T minus 5 1/2 days. Yay!


Stiiiiil Tuesday lol. Been up for 3 hours though it feels like it's been longer, and I'm already very tired. This whole ordeal is taking its toll, sigh. I'm happy to say that last night I signed the explant consent form and emailed it back to my PS. It's official now. I'll be picking up my prescriptions (antibiotics and Valium) this weekend, have my comfy clothes and zip up jacket all set out and ready. House/bedding are clean. I have my Monday list all written out and hanging on the refrigerator. I think that's it...ready to get this overwith.

I'm not going to lie, I'm still slightly nervous. Mainly for the shots- one in my hip and then the numbing shots in my breasts..but I think that once I get past that (which shouldn't be TOO bad) I'll be okay. The lovely nurse will be there holding my hand the entire time. Since they'll be playing music I plan on closing my eyes and singing along in my head. Who knows, maybe I'll be lucky enough to take a little nap haha. I must say that I'll be so much happier once I'm home in my own bed with my husband next to me and being able to relax that it's finally done.

Thank you to all you wonderfully amazing women for your support and kindness and for sharing your stories as well. It has been a huge relief not feeling alone during this process. I hope that together we can not only help each other but other women as well. Either during the same process, or hopefully, being able to convince them that it's a MAJOR decision that shouldn't be rushed.

? Much love!


Today is going SO slow. It's not even noon yet :/

I heard back from my PS's office this morning, they received my signed consent form and we're good to go. All I have to do now is get my meds and get through the next 5 1/2 days.

Why does time always have to show down when we're really excited or nervous for something?! lol

One of the lasts

Just took one of my last few showers with these bags. I can't wait for my first removal post-op shower :)

Bye, bye bags! 5 1/2 days!

Nearing the end of another day

Tuesday is FINALLY coming to a close. The rest of the day went a little faster once I got myself up and took a shower, made myself up a little bit and made it to the store for some grocery shopping and made dinner. Felt nice to be up doing stuff. What's sad is that I didn't do much and I'm already exhausted :/

I'm stoked that I can wake up tomorrow and say 4 1/2 more days.

I'm still nervous but mostly excited because I know the relief I'll feel immediately after.

Hubby is home now, relaxing for a bit in the other room before heading to bed. I'm so happy he's here, I instantly feel better when he's here, even if we're not doing anything 'exciting'.

I hope you ladies have a great night and I'll be back in the morning :)


4 1/2 days!

Alright, made it to Wednesday. I woke up this morning feeling nervous again :( I hate this feeling. I just want it to be done with already!

I'm happy to say 4 1/2 days to go but my nerves are getting the better of me.

The ladies on this site have been so wonderful and because of you gals, although nervous, I know I can do it.

Soooo close :)

Food for thought

This is MY body, my life and MY decision. For every one person who has something negative to say about my choices there are twenty more who have been super supportive. I have found SO many amazing women on here that have helped me through this process and for that I am incredibly grateful.

Now, my husband had been THE BEST. He never made me feel bad about having a smaller bra size and he's never once made me feel bad about this whole process. He only wants me to be happy. That happiness will arrive as soon as I get rid of these 'things'. I honestly don't care what anyone else thinks about me because what I do with my life and my body doesn't affect you, it affects me.

Sometimes we make mistakes, we're not all perfect like you may think you are. The only way to correct the mistake is to make it better in whatever way you can...that's what I'm doing. Me removing my implants isn't spontaneous, unjustified or for no good reason. I've put a lot of thought into this. I've talked to many women about their experiences. I've talked with my husband thoroughly about this. I've done TONS of research.
This is what's best for ME.

That's all. In the end I'm regaining my health, sanity, happiness and power.

Getting my life back

As I'm sitting here feeling really nervous and my back killing me all I can think about get getting my life back. I can't wait to smile again...something I haven't done since I started this whole thing. I want a good night's sleep..again, haven't had since the beginning. I want to feel better so my husband doesn't have to worry about me anymore.

This wait is killing me :/

Another one of those moments

I'm sorry for posting do much, especially when it's really nothing new to say. My nerves are getting the better of me today for some reason. Yesterday I was completely fine but I woke up today feeling so scared of next! Lol

I'm not quite sure why they're letting me down. I've talked to do many lovely ladies in here that also had their implants removed with local anesthesia and they all have great things to say about it. Why am I still so nervous?!

It's not like I'm a total wuss. I have a rather high tolerance for pain, this 'should' be easy. It's the waiting....the damn waiting. It's terrifying and lonely.

Oh Monday, where art thou?

Getting closer

Hubby will be home from work soon, yay! No better distraction than having the person you love most by your side :)

My nerves are still all over the place. I wish I could get my brain to stop thinking about it for the next few days...if only lol

I have everything planned out in my head. I'm a list girl :) The weekend will probably go by fast, they usually do. Have a few short errands to run then plan on just relaxing at home with my amazing husband, downing a chocolate milkshake because why not? :) I deserve it after everything.

Sunday I will go into 'ready to go mode'. Last shower with these gross things, straighten my hair, at out my clothes and makeup (at least I can look pretty for the procedure lol)...and hopefully tien in early and get a good sleep. I really hope we can sleep in a little bit because 2pm will feel like a long wait if we're up early. Have a little breakfast, get beautified and take out earrings. Then off we go. Plan on being out of here around 1:30. I just know I'm going to be so nervous. Hopefully the Valium works and mixed with whatever the other stuff they give me, I wouldn't mind a little nap lol

Ooooh, so close!

An end to another day

Wednesday has finally come to a close, for me lol. A couple of Tylenol PM and hopefully I'll be asleep soon. Waking up in the morning with 3 1/2 days to go. Nervous and excited.

Sweet dreams, ladies ?

3 1/2 to go

It's Thursday morning, yay! Another day closer *whew* It's been hell getting here and I have 3 more days and 4 more sleeps before I'm there. It's getting more real now and my nerves are on edge but Monday will bring me huge relief and true happiness. I must stay focused and remember that I CAN do this. I'm ready to put this whole experience behind me and move on. I made a mistake, I can't dwell on it.

I can't wait to join the rest of close!
Happy Thursday! :)


I wish so hard I could close my eyes tight now and wake up to Monday. I can't explain how difficult waiting is. As the seconds tick by I HATE these things even more.... I just want them out of me.

I know, I know, Monday will be here soon enough and I'm only 3 1/2 days away now; much better than the 13 days I started with lol. I'm hoping for fast hours!

It sucks being ready to go and the only thing standing between you and freedom is time.

Finishing touches

Got myself up and going today. Ran a few errands and was able to get a little more cleaning done. I'm all set for Monday now, totally and completely ready to go. My nerves haven't been so bad today, thank goodness. Hopefully it lasts :) I wrote on a post it and slapped it on my bedroom mirror that says "you can do this" little motivator lol

Texted with my sister last night, she told me over and over again that I'll be fine and do much happier once they're out...she's right! I know the second I'm on my way home after the procedure I'll be a million times happier, even if I am in a little bit of pain (hey, that's what the Valium and Percoset are for, right?) :)

I'm looking forward to no longer being nervous. No longer having to sleep on my back, in due time. Not feeling so guilty for this whole mess...but most of all, getting back to having fun with my husband. We used to go out all the time doing random, silly, fun things and we haven't done anything since this all started. I want to laugh and smile with him again. That's going to be the BEST part.

So we're nearing the end of the week and Monday will be my turn to rid myself of all of this. I hope I'm as strong as you other ladies who have been where I am right now. Your guidance through this process has been a huge help for me; and I'm so happy to have found this site. I felt very lost and alone until I met you ladies. Thank you! ? ?

Feeling calm, will it last? ...

I have a feeling of calmness right now...I hope it sticks. Maybe I'm finally realizing it won't be as bad as I think and that something incredible is on the other side. I kind of compare it to this: When you feel sick and have to throw up, you HATE throwing up so you try to swallow it back down but you know that once you do throw up you'll feel better lol. Sure, it's not going to be the most pleasant experience but one that's worth it :)

Almost there!

Getting out of the funk

I'm not quite sure if this will last, I hope it does...but I'm not in such a funk anymore. I think I'm coming to terms with what I have done and what I must do. My explant is just fixing the outside, now I'm working on the love myself the way God made me for he made us all perfect in his eyes. Monday will come faster than I think and once it's over I can rest easier knowing that going through all of this wasn't for nothing; because I have a greater appreciation for myself inside and out.

These will be the last few pictures of these weights that are holding me down. My last one will be taken after my last shower on Sunday and I'll never have to worry about these things again :)

Nearing the end of another day

Hubby will be home from work soon...his office is moving to a new floor so everyone gets to go home early today and tomorrow, yay :) I just love having him here so much. He makes everything better and keeps me strong.

Switched back over to a padded sports bra, my nipples are still very sensitive so anything that rubs against it hurts SO bad. Was wearing band-aids for quite some time but decided that I should probably let them breathe for a bit lol

It'll be Friday before I know it and a day closer to freedom, relief and happiness.

I'm happy to be getting this overwith sooner rather than later and feel blessed for all of the suppor I have found

3 1/2 more days until these awful bags are G.O.N.E. :)

Almost sleepy time

Hubby is home...we just finished dinner and are relaxing with some Seinfeld reruns before bed. Yep, we're an exciting group lol. I'm just not into doing much; I still get tired very easily (I think residual from the BA) and nothing is better than bed and your favorite tv shows when you're in the dumps.

So, my 32nd birthday is on Wednesday (2 days post-op) so I'm hoping for a smooth recovery. Not that I'm doing much other than having a few family members over and indulging in some cake :) I'm considering this explant as a birthday gift to myself. Despite any pain I'll be in, which shouldn't be much since I have my Percoset handy, I know I'll be having a better birthday than if I had to have these inside of me on my birthday.

Waking up tomorrow being able to say 2 1/2 days. It's kind of hard to imagine I started off at 13. This has been a crazy journey and I'm so glad I have you ladies supporting me all the way. It really is deeply appreciated.

I can't wait to update after my surgery :)

P.s. If you're reading my story and you have any questions or just need someone to talk to, please feel free to message me. I'll try to help if I can but at the very last I'm more than happy to be your support ? Keep strong ladies!

Ice Cream

Neapolitan ice cream straight out of the carton because...why not :)

Ready for bed

Okay, the whole ice cream thing didn't work out so well, tasted kinda funky so into the trash it went, oh well lol.

Already comfy in bed, still watching Seinfeld, one of my all time favorites. About to pop a few more Tylenol and hopefully drift off. This neck/back pain is not the biz. Only a few more days left...

Night all ?


Okay, it's Friday morning...2 1/2 days & 3 sleeps to go!
It's getting so close now. My PS's office is supposed to call today to confirm and give me some reminders. I think once I get that call it'll become more 'real'. I'm so close to being free of these and putting this whole thing behind me.

Hubby keeps telling me I'm so close and that I can do this. Sure hope he's right lol

I think my biggest struggle right now is to get through today. The weekend will probably go pretty fast as they usually do, plus I have some errands to run and make sure I'm all ready for Monday, that'll probably keep me fairly busy.

So happy it's Friday!

6:30 am

Been up since 5, hubby wanted to get into work early since they're being kicked out at 5 for the movers to take over...I'm so tired already :/ I think my body is trying to prepare itself for what's to come, while still trying to recover from what I have done. It'll all be over soon and I can rest easier.

I'm so happy that it's almost said and done. I can start getting my life back and that's all I want.

Two and a half days!!

Moving along

It's almost 9am, the day is moving along...still waiting for the call from my PS's office. Super tired and want a nap but I'm afraid of missing the call (even though my ringer is on full blast) lol.

It's crazy thinking how much time has passed, but so happy it has. I think I'm really ready just to get it done. This site and you lovely ladies have really been a wonderful distraction to help the time fly by. It's a relief knowing that by this time on Tuesday I'll be entering 19 hours post explant and hopefully feeling little to no pain and resting comfortably.

I can't wait to lay down tonight and realize that once I get up in the morning I'll only have 1 1/2 days to get through :)

Attached are a few pictures of me pre BA- I can't wait to get my life and smile back!!!!

Got the call!!!

Alright, it's confirmed...I got the call confirming that I'll be there on Monday at 2:00 for a 2:30 surgery time. I'm slightly baffled as I was told to have my husband be back to pick me up at 2:45- I'm hoping that means they're expecting it to go fast and easy???? Not that I'm complaining, the faster the better lol

Still no nerves, so that's good. Maybe my brain just realized that I NEED this in order to get my life back and that there's nothing to be afraid of. I'm super happy this will all be overwith soon. By this time on Monday I'll slowly be getting myself ready to go :)

I'll be joining the small boob club again very soon and I can't wait!

This time on Monday

Well, this time on Monday I'll be taking my meds, getting dressed and getting ready to head out the door at 1:30. Got some more cleaning done today and everything is set up for my recovery, although hubby will be home all week, I like making things easier for him.

I'm getting way too excited thinking about getting back to my normal way of life. Made it this far! Hubby should be home in about 4 1/2 hours and then we have 9 days off together. I'll be recovering and turning 32 all in the same week lol

Ready to do this!

The hours

The hours seem to be ticking by very slowly now :/ Maybe it's because I'm looking forward to hubby being home, maybe I'm just feeling anxious about Monday, maybe because I'm super tired but can't fall asleep...maybe all?!
Reallllly looking forward to crawling into bed tonight. I'll be able to wake up tomorrow morning and say "the day after tomorrow" lol.

Not sure how I'm gong to feel Monday morning but all I can think about right now is getting them out and how happy I'll be once they are. I'll be starting a new chapter, one of living myself...all of me.

Another call

So, my PS's office called earlier to confirm Monday's explant, it wasn't the nurse/receptionist I've been dealing with through this whole process so the call was short and sweet...
Well, the nurse I had been dealing with just called me and said she knew her colleague called earlier but she was about to leave for the weekend and just wanted to touch base with me. She reassured me that I'll do great and she'll be with me the WHOLE time. I feel even better now :)


Hubby will be home from work in about an hour and a half, I can't wait. Have dinner together and then catch up on done DVR'd shows and hopefully get some GOOD sleep. He'll be picking up my prescriptions tomorrow and then I'll be fully set to go.

I'm so close to being free that I can almost taste it lol. I'm ready to smile again.

Another day almost done

Impatiently waiting for hubby to leave work lol..should be soon (15 minutes or so). STARVING...must eat soon. As I sit here waiting all I can do is think about how great it's going to be once it's over. My stress will be gone, my headaches will therefore probably be gone, I'll be able to sleep on my side again (soon), I'll breathe better, I'll move around many wonderful things. Although short, I have not had one single good experience with these bags. They're just holding me back. I'll be happier which will make my husband happy and we can start returning to our normal lives.

I am SO ready for explant!

He's almost home

Hubby is almost home, yay!! :) We're about to start our 9 day 'vacation'. Just spent the last 15 minutes talking to him about Monday, he's super excited for me as he knows how miserable I am; makes this whole thing so much easier knowing he fully supports me and understands the toll this is taking on me. He even offered to rub my back/neck tonight since I'm so stiff from the stress and only able to sleep on my back. He's the sweetest! I'm so lucky to have him :)

I'll update again as I'm settling in bed tonight. Once I get up tomorrow I can finally say "THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW"


Getting closer to putting an end to another day/week. Hubby is officially on vacation now. Nine days to relax, cuddle, explant, recover...cuddle some more :) I'll be turning 32 on Wednesday, yikes! Lol

I can't even explain how bad I want these out of me. I'm sure you ladies know. I'm counting my lucky stars I realized sooner rather than later that this wasn't for me...and that even though he initially tried talking me out of it my PS agreed to do it. I'm almost there!

Snuggled up in bed

Finally snuggled up in bed with hubby, almost time to drift off to sleep and wake up one day closer :)

I hope you all have a great night ?

Saturday morning

Not quite sure why I'm up at 6 am on a Saturday morning...oh yeah, these dumb bags! Lol
Moved out to the couch as to let hubby sleep, thank goodness for Saturday morning reruns of Law and Order :)
It's going to be a 'chill' weekend. Just a few errands to run today, last minute touches around the house and then my very last shower with these awful things tomorrow. It'll be Monday before I know it and I can't wait. I'm hoping the Valium and shot they give me work wonders on my nerves and the explant goes fast and easy. I can't wait to get back home and post that it's all done.


Moving along

It's already 7:30, can't complain...I hope the whole weekend goes just as fast. Managed to have a little breakfast and feed the cat, not sure which one of us was hungrier :)
Trying to tiptoe around the house so hubby can sleep, he needs his rest too. Only two sleeps and a day and a half to go. Wow! It seems so real now. I'm still a tad nervous but I know I'll be in good hands, and I'll have some good medications to calm my nerves beforehand and some good drugs to minimize the pain afterwards lol. I can't believe that by this time on Monday I'll only be 7 hours from explant. I'm really looking forward to getting MY body back. I already know I'm just going to be SO happy once it's over. Just knowing that the hard part is over will be a huge relief, and no longer having these toxic bag inside of me, an even bigger relief.

I'm stoked to be joining you ladies before me very soon. Life is about to get soooo much better :)

He's awake!

Hubby is awake :) He looked at me and said "we're almost there" makes me so incredibly happy knowing he supports me and truly just wants to see me happy again. Having him home will be a wonderful distraction from the time and nerves. I think it'll help make it go fast and keep my mind off of thinking about it too much. It'll be crazy that Monday will be here in no time and I'm sure I'll look back and think "what was I stressing about?"
A.L.M.O.S.T. T.H.E.R.E. :)

Too excited

I'm starting to get very excited at the mere thought of getting rid of these. I am so thankful to have found this site and the many women who have shared their stories; I'd probably be a total wreck right now without you gals. However, I now have an idea of what to expect before, during and after. I'm also more confident in my ability to do it and know I'm doing the right thing. In just a few short days I will be free of this burden and begin to heal inside and out.

Thank you! ?

Helping out

Hubby is out working in the yard. I was able to get out there and help a little bit; blew the back porch/swept, picked a few weeds and snipped a few hanging branches off the tree. Vacuumed one last time. I'll get the laundry going once he's done out there. Trying to make sure I can rest once I'm home and not stressing that there's a ton of stuff needing to get done. We make a great team :)

Almost free!

I'm ready!

I'm totally ready now. Wish it were Monday already so I can put this whole unpleasant experience behind me.

It is what it is and I know without a single doubt that as soon I get in the car on Monday to head home after the surgery I'm going to breathe a sigh of relief and smile.

Come on Monday! :)

The struggles

Ugh! I want to shower SO bad..I feel gross and icky but I need to hold off until tomorrow. I'm sure many of you know what I'm talking about lol.
Hubby is in the shower right now and I'm so jealous haha

I'm starting to get very impatient now. I just want to get past the surgery part and start healing. Kind of wish I could have gotten an earlier appointment; his great it would have been to get it done yesterday and be recovering right now :/

I know I'm almost there but I'm sure those of you who have been through this know that the waiting game is horrible torture.

This is one weekend I wouldn't mind skipping Sunday altogether ha!

The sweetest husband....ever!

Hubby told me to stay home and relax while he runs the errands. I feel bad, I hate that I can't do the simple things I'd normally do...but he's the BEST! I don't know how I got so lucky with him :)

Yet another reason I want to hurry up and get this overwith. Almost 1:00, by this time on Monday I'll be 50 minutes away from walking out the door and heading to have these gross bags removed. Getting there.....slowly getting there.

A day and a half pre-op implant removal

Well, here they of the last few pictures of these things (I'll try to take my very last ones before my shower tomorrow). I can't wait to say goodbye to them and welcome my natural self back :)


It's almost 3 and we're about to eat dinner, why? Because I'm starving for some reason. Maybe my body is trying to catch up...the last few weeks I haven't been able to eat much as I was stressing out way too much of this whole thing. I think I've finally let go of it and know that by this time on Monday I'll be close to leave my PS's office feeling so much better and lighter lol.
So here's to letting go and trusting in God, and my own body, to heal well and fast and get back to its old self.

Now...where's my food?!? :)


Dinner done. It was so yummy, had a hankering for Chinese food, nom nom nom lol.
My back and neck are KILLING me so I'm using my handy little massager to get a little relief. Hubby has been so great, not just today, but through everything. I'm going to have to find a way to make it up to him once I'm back to myself.

A few more hours until I can get to bed and wake up in the morning saying "TOMORROW, TOMORROW IS THE DAY!!" lol

I appreciate all the support and well wishes. Soon I will free of this anxiety.


Antibiotics- Check
Valium- Check
Zip up sweater- Check
Original copy of consent form- Check
Percoset on night stand- Check
Clothes set out- Check
House Clean- Check
Grocery shopping- Check
Meals prepared- Check
Comfort chocolate in freezer- Check :)
Shower- Tomorrow lol

I am all set and ready to go. Just waiting on Monday to get here now lol.
A forty-five minute procedure for a lifetime of happiness, priceless!

Almost bed time

So exhausted, both mentally and physically. Snuggled up in bed with my Law and order reruns (yes, still..I can watch these all day) lol.
Can't fall asleep just yet, but soon.
Looking forward to taking a shower in the morning and double checking everything to make sure I'm ready to go on Monday. At this point all I want is to get the explant overwith, take a Percoset, crawl into bed, let you all know how I'm doing and then sleep haha

It's creeping slowly but I'm almost there.

Sleepy time

In bed for the night. Ice pack under my neck for the pain, massager too. Got my water and Tylenol PM, still watching Law and Order hehe and the best husband in the world by my side.
Tomorrow is my last FULL day with these annoying things and then it's go time. I'm so calm and ready to get it done. I'm looking forward to taking a Percoset once I get home and hopefully getting some good sleep; which I haven't had in a month.

Night ladies!
T minus 1 day, 17 hours and 15 minutes :)

Tomorrow is the day!

Ok, it's almost 7am on Sunday, still not sleeping well so I'm wide awake :/ Back out on the couch to let hubby sleep.

Tomorrow is the day! I'm super excited and a little nervous. I'm hoping today goes pretty fast.

Going to get in the shower as soon as hubby wakes up; my very last shower with the awful, annoying bags (yay!) :)

32 hours and I should be finishing up and heading home. Man, I can't wait!

29 hours...

Ok ladies, I'm 29 hours away from explant and SO ready.

Just took my last shower with these God awful bags and my last pictures...
Here they are. Can't wait for them to be gone!

28 hours to go

The real countdown has begun, 28 hours remaining until I'm checking in for my explant. I have to tell you, I can't wait. I'm so happy knowing that tonight is my last night sleeping with these things and that tomorrow evening I'll be well into the recovery process.

I'm looking forward to notifying all of you that they're out and I'm home :)

26 1/2 hours away

26 1/2 hours away from check in. I have been so miserable this past month that tomorrow could not come fast enough (although I'm hoping it does) :)
I'm super close to regaining my health and happiness!!

Close to 26 hours

Dang, they're going so slow lol


Let's always remember

This time tomorrow

By this exact time tomorrow I should be in surgery. Hoping all goes well and most importantly, fast lol
23 1/2 hours!!

This time tomorrow

Ok ladies, by this time tomorrow I should be arriving home, or close to it. It's really hitting me now and I just can't wait to be done with this whole mess.
I'm all set to go, have everything I need to take with me at it, clothes are set out, medications open and ready to take, is spotless and grocery shopping done- even got the bulls paid. Nothing left to do but wait now :)
Please keep me in your prayers ?

21 1/2 hours remain

Getting so close now. Just finished my last dinner with these gross things. Everything from here should be smooth sailing...hopefully.
About to lay in bed and get some rest while watching Law and Order SVU, I'm going to need all the rest I can get.
Crazy to believe that this will all be over at this time tomorrow; it's been a long and exhausting journey.

I am looking forward to putting this behind me and getting on with my life. I want to smile BIG the second they're out of me :)

I can't wait to share it with you ladies.

20 hours-45 minutes

I know, I know...I'm sorry for the constant posting. I think it helps me cope with what's to come. Distracts me from being nervous lol. I can't believe how far I've come, I'm so darn close.

I appreciate all the well wishes, prayers and support. It makes a HUGE difference, you have no idea.
? you gals!

17 hours, 45 minutes

Almost there!
17 hours and 45 minutes until I arrive at my PS's office. Everything is done around the house, mostly ready for bed and just trying to get some rest before the big day. I managed to get an hour and a half nap earlier thanks to a Valium to calm my nerves.

Tomorrow at this time I'll be 4 1/2 hours post op. Eeeeek :)

Last night with these fake boobies

Settled in bed for the night. My very last night with these fake bags...I can't wait to be turning in tomorrow night FREE of these things. Getting closer! :)

15 hours to go

Alright, getting ready for bed. Tomorrow's the big day. I can't wait to let you ladies know it's done. All of your prayers are appreciated ? xoxo

A little less than 7 1/2 hours

Less than 7 1/2 hours away from explant. A little nervous right now but I'm ready to have them OUT.
Wish me luck ladies....your support is greatly appreciated ?

5 hours and 45 minutes to go

Alright ladies, I'm all ready to go. Had breakfast, made the bed, fed the cat, did my makeup and everything is set out and ready to grab on my way out the door. I'm a tiny bit nervous but I know that in 6 1/2 hours I'll be on my way home to my bed without these disgusting things. Yay! :)
I'm so close to the end of this nightmare

Closing in on 5 hours

Close to 5 hours and I'll be checking in. Ready just to get it overwith; how nice it would have been if I could've gotten an earlier time lol. Soon enough though. Nerves are a little shaky right now but I know it'll be okay and it'll go faster than I think. All your support and prayers are deeply appreciate. I can't wait to join you ladies before me :)

4 1/2 hours

Only 4 1/2 hours to go now. It's getting SO real. So exhausted mentally and physically that I could go for a nap right about now...but I won't. Maybe the mixture of Vslium, whatever else they give me to relax and pure exhaustion will allow me to nap during the procedure's to hoping :)

4 hours

Okay, 4 hours until check in. Omg I'm getting nervous and excited this time tonight I'll be a little over 7 hours post explant. Almost over!

3 1/2 hours remain

3 1/2 hours until check in. Ready to go! Nervous as he** right now but I get to take a Valium at 1:00 so I'm hoping it works lol.

Hubby is getting his Playstation 4 all set up now with his headphones so he has something to do if I fall asleep but woke wake me. He's such a sweetie!
Have my Percoset opened and on my nightstand and some 7up in the fridge. Just can't wait to be back home with this weight off my chest...literally and figuratively :)
Will keep posting until it's go time- sorry for all the non important posts, just helps take my mind off of it :)
You gals are great for listening to my craziness ?

2 1/2 hours

Only 2 1/2 hours until check in. My PS's office called just to check in on me and remind me to be there at 2. I said "I'm all set to go" lol

Getting close

An hour and a half until I had out the door to FINALLY get these out of my body. I'm so excited and nervous right now. This is the part I wish I could fast forward lol. I have never liked forward to getting back home and crawling into my bed than I do right now.
Thank the Heavens for Valium and Percoset hehe

30 minutes

Okay, 30 minutes until I leave the house and head to get myself back :)

Nerves are kicking it...can take my Valium in 5 minutes, yay! Haha

Please pray for me. ?

10 minutes

Ok ladies...leaving the house in 10 minutes. Almost at the end of this. Next time you hear from me I will be free of these fake boobies :)

My very last pre-implant photos...

I'm done!

Hey ladies! In the car on my way home. Everything was super fast and I didn't feel a thing. Thank you all for your support. Still pretty drugged up so I'll write more in a bit ?

3 1/2 hours post explant

Hi ladies! Thank you all so much for your support and well wishes! Everything went really well and super fast. I checked in at 2 and was immediately taken into the room. They had me change from the waist up and then the Dr came in and injected me with some good medicine in the hip to help me relax even more...he didn't fine me the whole dosage because he said I am "very tiny". He then took a few pictures and I was immediately taken back to the operating room. There was some nice soft music playing and they had my lay down flat. They washed my whole upper body and then numbed me up..and I can honestly say I didn't even feel it. The next thing I knew I heard him tell the nurse (who was holding my hand the whole time) "the first one is out". I thought WOW, I didn't even feel that. He them moved over and did the same thing to the other side, again, I felt nothing...not even tugging that some women had described. He said "all we have left is to stitch you up and you're all done"...then I was out of there. The whole thing from check in at 2 lasted and hour...I was walking out at 3:00 exactly. Which was weird because to me it honestly felt like 10 minutes (must have been some good medicine lol).

It was a simple explant, no removing of the capsules. They also did not wrap me in ace bandages...they only gave me a surgical bra and gauze.

Attached are my first post-op photos. They're pretty flat but I don't care at all. I know they'll get better over time. I am just SO beyond happy right now. No more stress and I already feel a million times better :) No regrets!

Ready for bed

Ladies, thank you all again for your well wishes, prayers and support. It's because of you that I knew I could do it.

Feeling no significant pain right now, just a little discomfort along the incision site, Percoset is helping. Have an ice pack sitting on my chest, hearing pad on my back, hubby next to me- I'm super happy right now.
I'm as flat as a pancake with a little wrinkling but it's very minor and I know time will heal that. I have a feeling I'm going to sleep the best I've slept in a month :)

6 hours and 20 minutes post-op and I'm on top of the world :)

Night goddesses ?

17 hours post-op

Morning ladies! Well, I'm a little over 17 hours post explant and I feel great. Only a headache and irritation around the incision site (right breast only, weird).
Slept in until 7:30 today..been a while since I made it past 6am, so it's already an improvement lol.
I got my kitty cat fed and gave him his insulin, made the bed and did some minor cleaning up around the house. Just took an antibiotic and a Percoset (no real pain, just to relax really).
I'm back in bed watching Unsolved Mysteries...which is kind of a pain because I feel so great that I want to be up and moving around; but I know my body needs to rest to avoid any complications, so I'm trying to comply lol

Although I feel like I can do everything on my own already it's nice to have hubby home this week. I just love being with him :)

Tomorrow is my 32nd birthday, yikes lol
I'll be taking it easy at home and having only close family over, my Mom, sister and her boyfriend and my two nephews. Instead of cake I've decided on Krispy Kreme donuts (yum) haha :)

I can't even explain how much better I feel already. It was totally worth it!

I still haven't gotten a good look at them. I mean, I can see that I'm FLAT...but that's okay. I honestly don't care. And my husband has been so supportive. Last night I looked at him and said "dang, I'm so flat" and had a sad face. He said "yeah, but it'll get better soon and I can tell you're already so happy and that's what matters". If only I can bottle him up and sell I'm such a incredibly lucky woman, truly.

Again, I want to thank all of you ladies for helping me through this. Before I found RealSelf I thoughtI was alone and I was very scared. You ladies have been so supportive and amazing and I will be forever thankful for that. My journey to explant may be coming near an end but I plan on continuing my relationship with this site and you lovely ladies. I consider you all friends, and I hope you feel the same.
At the very least, my experience was not for nothing and I hope to help other women for years to come in whatever way I can.


It's a beautiful day!

Approaching 20 hours since my explant. Still no pain. Unfortunately I'm getting a little tired, which is frustrating because I feel so good that I want to be awake and enjoying life :) Hubby went to get me a little breakfast/lunch- nothing big, a soft sourdough pretzel from Jamba Juice; one of my faves.

I'm so happy I'm well on my way to putting this behind me. I can honestly say that I haven't felt this happy and relaxed since before my BA a month ago.
Life is good again :)

27 hours post explant

Hi ladies! So I'm over 24 hours post explant...I took a shower earlier today but wasn't brave enough to take any pictures yet, I apologize. Although I'm not upset with how they look, and I knew to expect it, it's still a little sad. They don't look great. But I know time will heal.

It was a pretty chill day. I did manage to get some cleaning done as well and a little relaxation. Still no real pain but my incision sites are really getting the brunt of everything. Not the most sexy thing to talk about but my system is all messed up and I am now constipated, so I just took a stool softener, hope it helps lol.

Hoping for a good night's sleep I can hopefully enjoy my birthday tomorrow :)

What a week...and it's only Tuesday lol

29 hours post-op

Closing in on 29 hours..still hasn't fully sunk in that it's over- I was so nervous and sad and the wait was long, now here I am implant free and worry free. My body is still very tired. I know it's been through a lot and my brain knows I should just be relaxing but it's so very hard lol.

My amazing husband did some last minute birthday shopping for me today although I told him that his support during all of this was more than enough. He just so....great! :)

I'm actually looking forward to sleep again; I used to dread it because I knew it would be a struggle but last night was the first great sleep in a long time, I hope for another great one :)

Honestly, my only complaint is the irritation asking the incisions from the bra. I put some gauze in between the bottom of the bra and the incisions and it's helping a little but they still feel irritated :/ But you know what, I'll take that any day over how I was feeling with the implants lol

2nd night bagless

About to turn in for the night. I'm so happy to say that tonight is my second sleep without those awful bags. I'll wake up tomorrow and turn 32, holy cow, how did that happen?!? lol
I'm off the Percoset and switched over to Tylenol now. Still, my incisions are the worst part, so I can't really complain.

Night goddesses ?

Approaching 48 hours post explant

Morning ladies!
Almost reaching 48 since explant. Feeling pretty good still. Minor headache and a few muscle spasms here and there. Extremely tired. Unfortunately I woke up at 6:30 this morning but that's okay...since it's my birthday hubby had gotten up in the middle of the night while I was asleep so I woke up to a few presents, cards and balloons :)
I now have $200 to spend at the mall, won $105 on a few scratchers and (because I love squirrels), my father in law actually carved a cute squirrel statue for me. Still having a few family members over a little later but today will consist mostly of me resting in bed...which is okay with me :)

Nothing to complain about!
Hope you're all having a great Wednesday ?

55 hours post explant

Hi ladies! About to call it a night soon but I wanted to get in one more update today.

So, my day real quick...It was amazing. Mellow but nice. A few presents, some Krispy Kreme donuts, cute balloons and I spent a few hours with my close family. TONS of text messages and birthday wishes on FB- hard to keep up lol. Hubby and I even took a nice 3 hour nap this afternoon. Much needed for both of us.

Okay- so I'm just past 55 hours post explant and I feel GREAT. Not going to lie, I'm VERY tired. However, you have to keep in mind that I was only exactly one month to the day from augmentation to explant so it was like a double whammy on my body. I have no pain, pain; just incision discomfort and slight pain if the gauze moves on me and I go to stretch out something. Only on Tylenol though, seems to be enough.

My breasts: Immediately after the procedure and yesterday they were very flat and they were wrinkly. I took a quick peek about an hour ago and the wrinkling already seems to have disappeared, but they're still pretty flat.
The nurse at my PS's office told me I could wear ANY bra that I was comfortable in but I'm playing it safe and continuing to wear the surgical bra for now. Maybe another week, at least.
I've had no problems so far, thank goodness. Being extremely tired is very frustrating but I'm trying so very hard to comply with what my body needs, which is test.

I hope you ladies had a great day! :)

Good morning beautiful ladies!

I am now 65 1/2 hours post explant...and I feel greeeeat! :)
I am currently on the couch as hubby is sleeping so peacefully that I didn't want to wake him. I was up shortly before 7 but that's okay..not because of pain or anything. I think my problem is that I'm drinking so much water right now, even before bed, that I wake early needing to pee and then I'm up lol. My antibiotics are messing with me (KFLEX) and they make me feel extremely I haven't eaten for days; I'm sure my body is also trying to catch up as I lost my appetite after the BA and lost 8lbs in that one month. Anyway, I have absolutely NO pain, yay! :) Still fighting a mild headache but that's okay, that what the Tylenol is for haha.

I'm so happy I didn't back of at the last minute due to nerves. It's done and I can relax now. The healing is underway and I'll be back to ME in no time...which is the best feeling in the world.

Just remember that you CAN do it :)

Love you, ladies!

80 hours post

Hey ladies,
Okay, I've been MIA for most of the day...Hubby got me out of the house for a few hours; we went to the local casino and had some good times. I did my makeup and got all beautified lol. I was able to put on a regular bra, well, a gel bra and used some gauze to protect the incisions. I think I may have overdone it a little as my body is tired and sore. It was worth it though. Since I got my BA last month I haven't been out of the house much, just doctor's appointments and a few trips to the store so it was nice to get out. Now I'm in bed and it feels soooo good :)

I hope you ladies had a great day ?

Hey ladies

Just wanted to add a quick update-
Approaching 4 days post explant now; still feeling good. Tired,but good. Still no pain, just incision site irritation. Hubby has been taking such great care of me, I'm so lucky. Got myself put together earlier and ran a few errands with I'm home, back in bed, I got tired so fast :/

Almost done with my course of antibiotics, two more today and one tomorrow morning and that's it :) I have my post postop on Tuesday at 2pm which hubby is going to take me to; again, I don't know what I'd do without him. I'm not expecting much at the appointment, I'm sure they'll remove the tape and most likely the stitches and then send me on my way. Unfortunately I don't feel as though they're as helpful after explant as they were after implant, which is sad. They gave me no aftercare instructions at I've been winging it on my own, making sure to get plenty of rest, taking my antibiotics and being very kind to my breasts.
Things seem to be going well though so hopefully I don't have much need for my PS anyway. I'm confident that once the incisions heal over and I get my energy back I'll feel like me again and I can move past everything. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Today is hubby's last REAL day of vacation, minus tomorrow and Sunday. I'm going to be really sad to let him go back to work, I've absolutely loved having him home. Not because he was taking care of me (though that was nice), simply because I love being with him. Monday is going to be a sucky day. It's good and bad...bad because we're getting back to normal, good because we're getting back to normal lol.

I hope you all have a terrific Friday! xoxo

Sex after explant

I've read a lot of posts on this site from women who were afraid of what sex after explant would be like...or if your spouse would still be attracted to you...or would you even be in the mood?

Yes, yes, yes!!! :)

Hubby and I shared a very lovely afternoon making love. I too was afraid he wouldn't find me attractive, of course since I'm only 4 days from explant my shirt stayed on...I'm as flat as a pancake and he still wanted to be with me.
I turned on an adult movie to give him something more...attractive to watch as I'm not exactly at my sexiest right now lol..but he just kept looking at me, and kissing me. We both ended up VERY happy ;)

So yes, it's still possible after explant...remember that time is your friend right now! Take your time with it and allow yourself to 'let go' and the rest will fall into place ?

4 days, 6 1/2 hours post explant

Hi ladies,
I'm a little over 4 days post explant now. I felt A LOT better today, still somewhat tired but more energy than before.
Starting to get some pains in my chest, pins and needles kind of feeling. I'm guessing that's to be expected as everything is trying to contract back. Definitely nowhere near as bad as after BA.

It's Friday night, only two days left before hubby goes back to work :( I'm not ready to let him go back yet lol. I wanted last weekend to go fast, to get my explant overwith, hoping this weekend goes slooooooow haha

My incisions are still giving me problems, mostly the right side so I added another layer of gauze in hopes that it helps reduce irritation therfore help move healing long :)

I can still honestly say that no matter the tiny aches and irritation, the lack of energy and the flat boobies, I do not regret explant one bit. I'm already happier than I ever was with those big ole fake boobies.

It was unfortunately an expensive mistake but this is what I have taken from it:
I can always make more money. Yeah, it sucks but money isn't everything.
2. I have learned to live myself inside and out. Unconditionally.
3. I've learned that I am strongerthan I ever thought I was.
4. I have seen the TRUE love my husband holds for me. Throughout everything, not just being extremely helpful around the house and taking care of me; he was emotionally there for me too. And he lifted me up when I needed it most. Never once making me feel bad about the money, the time, the work invested, the emotional roller-coaster or even how my body looks right now after explant. Like always, he makes me feel like I'm the most beautiful woman in his eyes.
5. I'll never wonder "what if"? Because now I know...and it wasn't for me.

Life is great ladies! We must take care of ourselves inside and out...and we must love ourselves the same way.

Almost 5 days post op

Morning ladies,

Well, I'm sad to say it's Saturday morning, sounds weird, I know...but for me it means that I only have the rest of today and tomorrow with hubby before he heads back to work :(
Sometimes I wish I could just handcuff him to the bed and never let him go lol.

Feeling pretty good today. Just took my very last antibiotic, yay! I know I still need rest but I do feel that my energy level is higher...I made it up until 11:30 last night, and slept until 7:15 this a.m.

Nothing to complain about :)

I hope you all have a fantastic weekend

Heading intothe last day of our vacation

It's almost 2 am- and I'm still up. This probably sounds bad but it's not. Hubby and I went to Reno; spur of the moment thing. It was a lot of fun...but now I'm tired. I did notice from the moment I got up this morning (after 7 1/2 hours of sleep) I felt I already had more energy...being able to make the 4 hours total car ride and 9 hours in Reno is proof that I'm slowly getting there.

Still having pain along the incisions,certain movements make it worse. Not sure what else to do, they have tape over them and I have gauze placed to prevent the surgical bra from rubbing on it but it's still pretty painful. My first post-op is on Tuesday though and maybe having the tape and stitches removed will help ???. I don't remember it hurting like this after the BA :(

Going to stay positive though, I know this is all temporary. The silver lining is being my real, natural, fun, happy, loving, caring self at the end of all of this.

Sunday blues

Feeling a little down today...Hubby goes back to work tomorrow :(
Slept in until a little after 9,of course we didn't go to sleep until 3am but still lol

Got up and did some chorse around the house; laundry, vacuumed, cleaned toilets, took care of kitty, dusted and threw out the trash. Now I'm a little tired haha

Hoping to make the last day of our vacation a nice relaxing one. I wanna soak up as much of him as I can today :)

Hope you all have had a nice weekend :)

Some people make me sad

I just got a message on my phone from someone that was making fun of me for having my implants removed saying that my boobs look like shit..
I didn't recognize the number, but it was local. I sent a text message to the # saying "Thanks for the sweet message, dickhead. I just feel bad that you and your loser friends have nothing better to do on the weekend. Idle hands... Have a nice day"
I get a simple "Thnx" back. So I reply "who is this? Since you're so badass". The # then calls me again, so I pick up. Apparently it's some guy I met twice yeeeears ago, don't even remember him. One of his friends in the background laughing IS a friend of mine, going all the way back to grade school. Said friend gets on the phone an apologizes saying they're drunk and prank calling a bunch of people. Seriously? I expect more from this guy, especially since we have known each other for 27 years. We were really close for a few of them a few years back, in our "party" days. No, we never dated it hooked up but we were party buddies.

I find it sad that 1. He's still doing the same BS that most people our age are long over and 2. He would be that cruel. I'm sure he did mean for it to be funny, but it isn't. I'm rather saddened by this. But I'll give him a few days to sober up and realize what he did before I even try to approach him about it.


I may look sweet...

I may look sweet, and I usually am, but my Daddy taught me to never take s*it from anyone. This pic was after they left their cruel message; what followed was another call to me in which I found out who they were and that they're a bunch of cruel, sloppy drunks.
No time for games!

Monday :(

About to say goodbye to hubby as he heads back to work...I'm not ready!
It's been an amazing 9 days. Explant, healing, my 32nd birthday, relaxation, cuddling...definitely much needed.
Why do vacations always go by so fast?!!

I'm gonna miss my amazing man. Sigh

I'm such a huge baby

Well, I said goodbye to hubby this morning and saw him off to work...yeah, I cried. I really did. He said "don't cry, I'll be back tonight, silly" with a huge smile on his face. I already miss him like crazy. Aside from him NEEDING to go back, it's probably good for him, I'm sure he had to have been bored out of his mind for much of this 'vacation', poor guy.

I'm happy/nervous to say that tomorrow is my first post-op and I'm praying I get the stitches removed, I really think they're causing a lot of the irritation. We'll

Yes, you! :)

You're ALL awesome

Tomorrow is post-op day

Tomorrow is my first post-op. Just got the call confirming my time...The nurse asked how I was feeling; I mentioned that the incisions are kind of hurting but that the right side is worse..she said that they'll be removing the stitches tomorrow and that should hopefully help. I'm crossing my fingers.

I can't wait to get the stitches removed. I know it's just one step closer to getting better. I already feel pretty good so I have faith that once the incisions are fully healed I'll be pretty much back to normal. I'm so excited :)

I've said it before

I am SO lucky. I know I've said it before...I have one of the best husbands in the world (well, BEST to me lol).
He just called me from work to say that he misses me and check on how I'm doing. Then I got a "I love you more" at the end of the conversation. He makes me smile from ear to ear :)

Anyway...I'm still not brave enough to take pictures without covering up (until the bloody tape and stitches are gone, hopefully tomorrow) but here are a few pics in my sports bra. As you can see there isn't much there, partly because they're "sad" and partly because the bra is tight...but I'm okay with it. They'll just get better in time :)
Please don't mind the gauze peeking out lol

4 hours to go

I know, I'm such a dork...Only 4 more hours to get through and then hubby will finally be home from his first day back at work. I just can't wait to squeeze him and kiss him :)

Incisions are still bothering me...the right side is the worst. It's frustrating me because it's restricting my movements but this whole resting thing is getting old now. I WANT to move around and get back to my normal routine. I hope having the stitches removed significantly help.

The apology

So they guy who prank called me yesterday contacted me through Facebook and apologized to me for what he did. He said, that he's having a hard time with the loss of his Father and also said he cares a lot for me and my family. I told him that what he did wasn't okay and I can't forgive him just yet. I also stated that friends don't do that and he apologized again.

I hold no hate in my heart...I just have to let it go. But I can't forgive him anytime soon either

By this time tomorrow

I'll have my stitches out and hopefully feel much better. These incisions are getting the best of me, they HURT...and I can barely move without pain; but I really want to stay away from the pain meds if I can. Ugh! I really hope getting them out well stop this pain. Other than after my BA I've never had stitches before...could they be causing this pain? I've heard they could be tugging and pulling and causing the pain, is this true?

Hopefully tomorrow brings relief!

I just love him so much

Managed to get out this morning and do a lot of shopping. My first post-op is in a little over 4 hours and I am so excited to get these stitchez out :)

It's not much but I bought hubby a rose this morning, a small token of my appreciation for everything he's done- the card reads "Thank you for always making me feel beautiful, even when I'm not. I love you, always" :)

Can't wait for him to get home!

Less than 2 hours

Until my postop. Ladies, I can't wait to get these stitches out!!

Almost go time

Alright ladies, leaving the house in about 20 minutes to get the tape and stitches removed. Wish me luck :)
I can't wait for them to be gone!

Post-op Update

Hey ladies! All done with my post-op...the stitches are OUT!! :)
I felt a huge difference immediately. Thank goodness. There's still a teeny tiny bit of irritation, mostly itching, but it's too be expected. No complaints.
Dr. said everything is looking good and he explained that it'll take time for the skin to retract ( which I already knew ) :)

As promised, although very hard for me to do because they look really sad, here are a few pictures. Not going to let it bring me down, time is my friend.

Starting to get frustrated

I know I shouldn't be complaining because there really isn't anything to complain about; I'm just starting to get a little frustrated...
I got up this morning @ 6, unmade the bed and started washing the bedding, saw hubby off to work, prepped for dinner tonight (homemade Tacos), fed kitty and gave him his insulin, threw out the garbage, washed and put away dishes and remade the bed; and I'm already exhausted. It's frustrating. This isn't me, I'm so used to do MUCH more on any given day before all of this. I get tired way too easily, I feel like I don't have much arm strength back yet and although my incisions feel a little better now that the stitches are out, they still hurt a bit.

I won't say I'm getting depressed but I am starting to get sad. Again, I'm used to doing so much in a single day and now I can't do a whole lot...while hubby goes off and works 10-12 hrs a day. I feel like I'm not carrying my weight anymore.
I feel like a bad wife.
I know he tells me that I'm a great wife and that I'll be back to normal soon; but when is 'soon'?!? :(

It was nice to be pampered for a while and to rest but now I'm ready to get back to normal. I want to contribute to my home the way I normally would. Laying around makes me feel like a lazy brat, ugh!

Sorry for complaining. I know it could be worse, I just needed to vent lol. I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. I WANT to get back pulling my own weight.

Thanks for listening to me being a big baby :)

Going out in public

Hi ladies,
Just put some clothes on to head out for a little walk around the block. Needed some fresh air, even though it's like 100 degrees outside. Since I'm still rather flat and the tightness of the sports bra doesn't help much either, I put on a gel bra (loosened in the straps) over the sports bra. As you can see, you can't even tell that I'm wearing anything out of the ordinary and looks pretty realistic :)

I felt so much better about myself going outside. I think I'm on my way back :)

10 days post explant

Still not the prettiest things to look at but here is day 10; before my shower this morning. The most unpleasant part...removing those band aids :(

Uber happy

Feeling so much better today, despite the incision pain/itchiness. Splendid days :)

Happy Friday!

Afternoon ladies :)
I hope you're all having a fast and good Friday. The weekend is almost upon us, yay!

Feeling pretty good today. Incision under right breast is still hurting, not sure if it's the incision itself or the pressure of my bra on the bruise ?? I had hubby look at the incisions last night and he said they look good, I felt them with my fingers and they're scabbed over pretty good. I asked my PS if I could use anything on them for the dryness or itching and he said to leave them alone, kind of sad about that but I'm hoping they don't have much longer to go. I'm really looking forward to wearing a normal bra again and moving around more freely without the incision pain. Fingers crossed it happens soon :) Other than that I'm feeling really good and am sleeping a lot better than I had been. Tay for sleep lol.

Hope all my explant buddies are feeling just as good, if not better ((hugs))

11 days post explant

Good evening, ladies. About to hop in the tub and take a nice hot bath; needing something to help relax my neck and back are killing me from the sports bra. Decided to snap a few pictures before I get in. Still not pretty but well on my way :)

Saturday chores

Slept in until 7am and got right to work cleaning and getting myself going. Treated myself to a Starbucks Frappuccino :) Helped hubby out in the yard a tad bit and now he's finishing up; a few errands to run once he's done and the rest of the day is dedicated to watching anything Don Rickles on YouTube :)

Happy Saturday beautiful ladies ((hugs))


Getting back on track. Still can't get back to my full workout routine but I'm getting there. Getting back to healthier living; it's a good start :)
Apples, Oranges, Peaches, Grapes and Strawberries- YUM :)

Two week update

Today marks two weeks since explant.
I'm feeling better and better each day. I'm now allowed to start taking my vitamins again which I'm super happy about. Incisions don't really hurt anymore, I get an occasional pain if I twist the wrong way or reach high for something causing my sports bra to rise up and rub on them...but I'm doing more and more every day.

Hubby and I went out for a nice sit down dinner last night at one of our favorite restaurants..we sat out on the patio enjoying the nice weather while a tiny little lizard watched us eat lol. It was really nice. I absolutely love the way he looks at me, like I'm the only woman in the world. He makes me smile from ear to ear :)

Tomorrow is our 15 year anniversary since the day we officially became a couple. We've been through so much together but we always come through stronger; with him by my side I can get through anything life throws my way.

Happy Monday gorgeous ladies < 3

Sometimes I need a reminder

Whenever I need a reminder that things will be okay, I just look down at my foot (my tattoo) and remember that God has my back :)


I redecorated the house months ago; so happy I went with these wall decals..coming in very handy these days :)

15 years

I am happy to say that today marks 15 years since my husband and I decided to walk this life together, side by side. I live him more and more as each day passes. He is my rock, my hero, my lover and most importantly, my best friend.

This hangs in our bedroom; it sums it up pretty well....
"If you count all the stars in the sky,
all the grains of sand in the ocean,
all the roses in the world,
and all the smiles that have ever been
then you will have a small sample of how much I love you"


So, yesterday was a crazy one...
I had $40 in free slot play at our local casino; since it's only a 15 minute drive from hubby's work I told him to go there on his lunch break and play something real quick so he did. He came him with $322...after that he had the 'gambling bug' and wanted to go back, so after he got off work we went up there. Apparently it was my turn to do good because we turned that $322 into $650...all of it profit. So, I just made a $500 donation to an old friend of my husbands who recently, at 37 yrs old, with a wife and 14 month old daughter, recently fell really ill; his medical expenses are high and he has more to come and he is still very ill and may need a liver transplant in the future.
I feel that everything happens for a reason and this money will help someone who really needs it more than we do right now :)

Hi ladies

Sorry I haven't been around much. I'm getting back to my normal activities; not all of them yet but slowly getting there.
It was a funny site trying to make myself lunch yesterday...a peach and an apple. The peach was easy slicing, the apple, not so much- I still have very little upper body strength. It's slightly painful and uncomfortable when the chest muscles move like that.
All in good time though :)

I surprised hubby with a little gift yesterday to thank him for everything he's done; got him the Batman Arkham Night collectors edition. I'm so happy he LOVES it :) Just a small token of my overwhelming appreciation for him.

I hope all of you ladies are doing well!

19 days post explant

Morning & happy Saturday! :)

Today marks 19 glorious days free of my implants. Swiftly approaching my 3 week mark. I feel absolutely AMAZING!
I've decided to wear only a gel bra for a few hours today but will definitely be putting my sports bra on for bed. Feels nice to be in something other than the sports bra :)

I snapped a pic of what they look like thus far. Baby steps..Hubby says I'm on the right track and will be there before I know it. God, I love this guy! :)

I hope you all have a fantastic Saturday. Much love ((hugs))

Gel bra

It looks better in person and once I fill out a little more it'll look even better :)
You can find it at Fredericks of Hollywood.

3 week update

Hi ladies! Today marks 3 weeks post explant and I'm feeling AMAZING. I spent the majority of the day in a regular bra and it felt good lol. I seem to have even more energy and have been busy, busy all day. Life is getting back on track.

I can't even explain how happy I am :)

Happy Wednesday!

Good evening beautiful ladies!

Wanted to check in with everyone. Hope you're all doing well. So, I was cleaning around the house today and decided to weed through old papers in the filing cabinet and shred what is no longer needed; I came across the little card you get from your PS with your info and the implant info in case you ever have a problem and aren't near your PS (I'm sure you all know what I'm trying to describe lol). This was the first time I had really looked at it as they gave it to my hubby and it was filed away. I had thought I had 375cc's in each breast...I was SO wrong. The card states I received 480cc's in each breast. Holy cow! I was seriously under the impression we were going with 375. WTF! No wonder why I was miserable, sheesh.

Anyway, thought it was a little funny lol. Happy Wednesday, we're almost at the end of another week, yay! Today was good, nothing to complain about, even felt good enough to do my makeup and get out of my pj's haha. It's a good start :)

Two days in a row...what the whaaa???

Feeling GREAT! Got up at 6 this morning and made myself presentable. Got some coffee, ran a few errands and did some house cleaning. Getting us packed for our trip to Reno tomorrow to see Bob Newheart and do a little gambling; I'm super excited. I love that after 15 years we still enjoy new experiences together :)
I can't help but smile on such a beautiful September morning

Reno bound

A little gambling and Bob Newheart. So excited :)

Having a blast in Reno

Having so much fun with hubby. It's after midnight and we just had dinner lol. Haven't stayed up this late in a while. Bob Newhart is incredibly funny; we even celebrated his 85th birthday with him :)

1 month, 2 days post

Hi ladies! Sorry I haven't been around much, been keeping busy :) My one month mark came and went so fast, how crazy! Everything is going well. I pretty much have all of my energy back but I'm still struggling with the lack of upper body strength. It's better but it's not fully back and my chest muscles are weak, still slightly painful when they move. I'm wearing a regular bra more and more and am only in a sports bra at night. My neck and back pain are gone, yay!

My body must still be out of whack...I started my period a week early last month (unusual for me) and I bled for 10 days (3-5 is my usual) and now I'm 11days late as of today and I've ruled out pregnancy. I'm not complaining, I'll happily take a month off long as I don't pay for it next month :)

Here are a few updated pics. As you can see they're a little better but still kinda sad, especially the right one (in my opinion). Although my PS told me to hold off on scar treatment I've decided to go forth. I'm using Mederma, only once a day for now. I don't think the scars look all that bad for what I went through.

I'm also including a pic of what they look like in the gel bra, now that they're a tiny bit perkier :)

The card

Here it is...
Those were some biggins. I'm surprised I could even stand without falling over lol

Final Post-Op

Hi ladies!!

Sorry it's been a while. Hubby has been out of town all week for work and I've been keeping myself very busy; this place is going to look very spiffy when he arrives home tomorrow night :)
I even got to spend some much needed quality time with my Mom and sister; which has been long overdue.

I had my FINAL post-op today (yay!). Dr. said that everything looks good. My scars are going through their 'red' phase; he said they will continue to get better and better over time. I questioned him about my left breast still being numb from the nipple to the armpit, basically the entire left side of my left breast...he said that it could take 6 months to a year to get any feeling back and suggested that I run my fingers along it every so often to stimulate the area. I'll give it a shot :) He said that I no longer need to come in for future visits but that if I have any questions or concerns anytime in the future to give them a call. When he asked how I was feeling I couldn't help but burst out "I'm SUPER happy" with a huge smile on my face...I also mentioned to him that I found a wonderful support site and that I had been talking to other ladies out there that have gone through or are going through the same thing and that it's been a huge help in learning to love and accept the real me. He seemed happy to hear that I found such a great support system.

Anyway, my breasts are still working to get back to normal. Not 100% but definitely continued improvements. I'm able to wear a regular bra ALL day without pain or discomfort. I'm still rocking a sports bra to bed at night. Tasks are slowly getting easier- although my strength still isn't where I'd like it to be. Like I mentioned before, I'm still numb on my left breast and experiencing major sensitivity on my left nipple (the right breasts is completely fine); weird! It mainly bothers me while in the shower, if the water directly hits it, it HURTS. So, what I've been doing is cupping my hand over that breast whenever I need to face the shower head. Hopefully that too gets better in time (sooner rather than later lol).

All in all I have nothing to complain about. It's definitely not an 'over night' deal but each day is a little better than the last. They're small changes/improvements but they're there.

I'll try to get some 'boob' pictures up in the next few days :)

Hope you're all doing well

Playing dress up

Hi ladies!!

Hope all is well with everyone. I decided to clean out my closets today as things were getting a little crowded. My intention was to put together a bag for Goodwill; well, I have the donation bag but only a few items were put in there so far....I forgot I had a lot of these and they just seem to cute to get ride of just yet. While trying these tops on I couldn't help but feel so thankful and happy to have my tiny boobs back; how ridiculous I would have looked in these tops (if they would have even fit) with those giant silicone bags.

I am just on top of the world right now :)

Approaching 2 months post explant

Hi ladies! I know it's been a while...tomorrow marks two months post explant and I'm feeling amazing. I've finally been able to get back to my normal workout routine and just in time; getting ready to go to Vegas in the 18th.
I could still use more work but it's a good start :)

Hope all is well with everyone!

Back at it

Hi ladies,

So I'm back at, full swing. No more excuses...I feel amazing and testing my limits; I can do more and more every day. The healing process can be somewhat frustrating and boring, especially all the rest you need...but it's so worth it. Because I let my body be my guide I had zero complications and healed nicely. If it weren't for the scars and, unfortunately, the numbness I still have, I could easily forget the whole thing ever happened. Now that I'm no longer limited in what I can do I'm pushing myself harder and harder each day and it's already paying off :)
I'm on top of the world!
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