23 Years Old, Flat 34AA, Want 250cc's or LESS.

I just had a second consultation with my surgeon, the purpose being for us to go over my potential outcome again. I started off by showing him some before and after pics of girls who started off flat and widely spaced like me, and ended up looking like they have two round balls on their chest with a wide gap in between. I said that this was the look I absolutely do not want. I had previously decided on saline implants but I could be swayed to go to silicone if I could avoid this unnaturally round look. I knew that my chest was too wide for High Profile implants, but he said that he'd have to go with High Profile, due to the space between my nipple and my inframammary crease being so small. Basically, if he used a Moderate Plus or Moderate Profile, he'd have to lower my crease...but that would increase the risk of future complications, like bottoming out or double bubble. My chest is wide enough to accommodate a moderate profile, but the distance between my nipples and the bottom of my breasts is too small to accommodate anything but High Profile. So I was stuck between a rock and a hard place...get moderate profile and have functional complications, or get high profile and have aesthetic complications?

I asked for his thoughts on shaped implants. He said that he definitely thought that I'd be a good candidate for them...but he has no experience with them. :( This is when he said that I should look into other surgeons. He thought that shaped implants could give me what I want, but he doesn't do them, and he doesn't know anyone in his immediate circle of plastic surgeons who does. But he said that I need to explore that option, because I wouldn't forgive myself if I "compromised" and had him do my surgery in a week and a half...if I ended up unhappy, or thinking "What if?", he said he wouldn't be able to forgive himself either. My heart sunk, but I knew that he was right. My biggest fear in all of this was being unsatisfied with the outcome, and if round implants can't give me the look I desire, then I can't go through with getting them.

They refunded my deposit, and told me that I should do more research into shaped implants, even though they are way more expensive. I really really really respected my surgeon for being so honest with me, but it would've been bad for both of us if he did my surgery and I ended up unhappy.

So now I'm back at square 1. I'm pretty devastated, because I was really getting into the excited mindset, with only a week and a half to go until surgery. I'm thankful that I went in today, but I'm now just sad and frustrated. :( I really pray that this doesn't mean that I shouldn't get implants. This is something I have had my heart set on for years. :(

So after keeping myself awake at night for the past couple nights just stressing out about my decision, I decided to call my PS's office to see if I could come in tomorrow and just talk things over. My pre-op is on Monday, and that's when I'd be making the full payment, but I want to be 100% sure and confident before I make the payment. Thankfully I chose to go to an awesome office with the most understanding patient coordinator. She was so willing to accommodate me and told me that it's completely normal to be getting pre-surgical jitters. She also said "if you're not ready, DON'T DO IT!" I don't think not being ready is my problem... I'm just a very meticulous planner, and the unknown has always freaked me out. Hoping that they'll be able to answer my questions tomorrow! I still really want my boobs.

I have been in a healthy, loving relationship with the same guy for three and a half years. He has always loved me for who I am, he loves my body exactly as it is, and he has been the most vocal opponent of my breast augmentation. I do feel like I am more comfortable in my own skin than I've ever been in my twenty three years of life, but for the longest time I wouldn't let anyone see my chest, including my boyfriend. I put this wall up because of my lack of self confidence, and he helped break that wall down. I am young but I understand that there is no such thing as a perfect body, and it would be foolish for me to expect that I could achieve one. I realize that a breast augmentation will not give me perfect breasts, only larger ones. I understand the risks that I am taking. I question why I am willing to undergo the pain and the potential risks, but deep down I tell myself that I need to give myself a shot at having boobs. I don't want to be flat chested anymore. But my boyfriend makes me think twice about this decision every time I talk to him. He's doing it out of care and concern, but sometimes it really makes me question why I'm doing this.