Going Back Under the Knife to Fix my Girls After 2 Years.... Super Nervous - California

I had a BA in October 2009. I'm a mommy of two boys that I nursed each for 2 years (I know it was a long time). They deflated my beautiful breasts..... so after surviving the divorce process of my abusive marriage I decided to give myself the gift of a BA. I am 5'8 and 140 lbs most days. I went with Saline 350's overfilled to 375's Submuscular. Turns out my surgeon didn't detach my muscle like he said he would because of my physical activities I enjoyed. So my muscle squeezed my implant out and made a random and large pocket to travel, causing distortion and pain. I went to 3 different surgeons to get advise on what to do, if this was correctable and now what. Mind you I went back to my original PS 6 months after surgery and he said he would take them out and put them on top of the muscle and wouldn't charge me his fee or we could wait and see what would happen. I chose to give it a little more time and see what would happen. I went back a year later and he said he would take out my implants and put them on top of the muscle but would no longer waive his fee and his fee would be more to do a re-augmentation. All surgeons said they could help me. So I chose the one that came highly recommended to me by many of my friends and the one surgeon that didn't rush me and my husband (who I have to say is a sweet gift from GOD!) out of the office. He answered all of my crazy questions, even the ones I asked over and over. I am frustrated that I have to have surgery again as I do not like surgery, going under. My husband and I have 4 boys all together and the last thing I want is to have surgery on my breasts now. Nor do I want to spend the $6500 to fix this.

I deflated my saline implants Sunday, February 26th to let my body close up the capsule on it's own before I get new implants. Kind of shocking to have my mommy breasts back.... uggggh! My new PS came to my house and deflated me as when I was in his office my anxiety level was a little high after paying him a rather large check and just soaking it all in that this was really happening again. So he came to our home and deflated me..... And made me laugh.... LOL I am replacing with silicone (smooshier feel) possibly 550cc as my last implants didn't quite fill up my mommy skin. I have been on this website for months!!!! Reading everyone's reviews and tonight started reading forums..... whew ..... read about silicone poisoning your body.... feeling uneasy so decided to start journaling on this website like I have seen so many of you do, as your positive experiences are good to read. I will post pix soon.

Okay ..... her goes nothin'. Posting pix of my deflation. I took pix of my former implants but must have erased them so here is what I look like now. They are GONE! It is very weird to have that empty silicone wrapper that used to hold saline, still in there. Sometimes the hard plastic folded over hurts what seems to be my ribs. We decided to deflate so that my pockets will naturally close themselves in a little bit since my last implants moved around waaaaaaaaaay too much!

I have been wearing big baggy sweatshirts so no one notices, thankful it is winter time.

I am very anxious for the 30th of March to get here so I can have boobies again! I have become addicted to RealSelf and all the stories on here! Thank you to all who post.

Well I finally let my husband see, he thinks I am ridiculous that I won't let him see my boobs deflated. He had seen them before my first BA. He keeps reassuring me that I am still beautiful to him and it doesn't matter but it is a huge change for me.

So I have been stuffing my bra like a 13 year old little girl and finally decided to bite the bullet and buy a "Miraculous" bra from VS.... It's amazing what these bras do to ya! LOL. My mom says I have to pass it down to her after my surgery so she can go up 2 cup sizes....hehe

Patiently waiting for the 30th.... Time flies by too fast anyways so I know it will be here before I know it!