Discreet TT: BB concerns 2+ wks post-op
I’m 50 yrs old, 5’6”, 170 lbs,...
I’m 50 yrs old, 5’6”, 170 lbs, married. I have never had children. I am in the midst of menopause and am having an increasingly difficult time shedding the pounds I’ve gained over the past year. I have always had a belly pooch, even in my more slender days of running, weight training, and bicycle adventuring. It is a genetic trait evident on my mom and sisters. The weight gain makes it all the more pronounced. A couple years ago, someone asked me when the baby is due. (I’m actually surprised that hasn’t happened more often.)
I have a high-profile, demanding, public sector job and very busy schedule. My husband also has a high-profile job and fully supports my decision to have a TT. I no longer fit in my size 12 clothes and the clothes I can fit are not flattering. Shopping for new clothes is torture. I feel awkward and self-conscious. It negatively affects my self-esteem and confidence. I am hopeful that the other parts of my body will more directly benefit from any weight loss I can achieve after the TT.
I live in a close community where most folks know everyone and I work in a small office with other women. Given the recovery time involved, there is no way I will be able to hide the fact that I will be having some serious surgery. And, given the nature of my job and workload, I expect I will need to be back on the job after 2 wks and will still be dealing with post-op issues. People will be concerned about and interested in my well-being and will ask questions.
I do not want ANYONE , including my mom, sisters, and in-laws (all of whom live in another state), to know I am having this procedure done. I hope I will be able to accomplish that by simply not mentioning it to them when we talk on the phone. But how do I go through the TT process without letting all the other folks around me know the truth? I cannot let it slip to even one person. What alternative explanation can I provide? I don’t want to fabricate some story that I could get tripped up on. I don’t expect my outward appearance will be shockingly different when I return to work because of the post-op swelling. As the swelling subsides, I expect I will be able to explain the apparent weight loss as the result of successful dieting, summer activities, and effects from the “whatever” surgery I had—all of which I hope will be true.
I am grateful so many people have shared their experiences on this Web site. In all the posts I have read, I have not seen anyone mention this dilemma. I will appreciate any advice.
Date is set. It's for real now. More later.
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The day of transformation is more than two months...
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, etc) So we will see how everything goes :) I know what you mean about shopping for new clothes, is really a torture. I fit on a size 8 but some of my muffin top comes out and really depresses me because I have to look for tops that hide that ...I never had much of a waist , It is so frustrating. I'm not expecting for a miracle or to have an hour glass figure but at least to get rid of all that. :)
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I have a somewhat mid-profile job and I didn't want my surgery to become known as well. I have not told anyone- no family members or friends other than the one who has helped me out during my recover. I simply went in for the surgery, came back and rested. To anyone that called during that time I just didn't answer. The emails I answered in time. My recovery to be able to do basic work has taken less than two weeks (i'm 10 days out). I have seen people I know since my surgery and they didn't know at all- and I didn't mention it. Walked a little slower, maybe... but no one has commented.
To one person who insisted on a meeting the day after my surgery and wanted to know why I couldn't make it I said that I was having my tubes tied. That shut him up.
Someone asked him where I'd been (fallen off the face of the earth) and he said I'd had my tubes tied.
Without having to tell any people other than the one, every assumes that's what happened..... I had my tubes tied. (I have two children)
I'm guessing "tubes tied" might not work for you, but you could simply say hysterectomy or ovarian surgery.... or say a female surgery and mention your ovaries. usually shuts people up.
Good luck!