48, explanting 350cc over muscle after 8yrs

Hi ladies,
I've been reading your experiences for the past 2yrs, and all of your reviews & courage have helped me feel more confident about my decision to finally Explant.
I'm just over 6 weeks from Explant and have a firm appt.

Admittedly, Im nervous, thrilled and scared, knowing I will not initially enjoy the look of my soon to be deflated natural breasts but hoping I can live with their appearance as they "normailze & heal."
Im opting to allow at least 6 months for them to heal before I even think about a possible lift.
I will NOT be putting in any other implants EVER AGAIN.

At 23, with an athletic body, (big ribcage, broad shoulders n narrow hips) and very insecure with my lovely perky B sized breasts I opted for BA.
Like 90% of the ladies I have read about here, I wanted a 'nice C', however apparently due to my
'barrel ribcage' the Dr deemed I required more CC's and I ended up with DD's! 550CC & 525CC over the muscle saline implants
At 29, I noticed I had visible "rippling" and I could feel the implant on my R breast 'folded over,' not a fun feeling at all.
I paid for the replacement and found out apres-surgery that I also had a *capsular contraction.
*My R breast has never looked the same since.
I lived with one replaced and one original saline implant until I was 40.
Having become healthier, and more athletic again and consequently more confident within myself, I was tired of having such big huge breasts.
At 40, I went for a reduction and was talked into another set of implants,
'so my breasts would remain perky'
"After all, you've had these in for almost your entire adult life, you wouldnt like it if you had no breasts now" - A direct quote from the Surgeon :-(

I asked for a small implant, again a small C please.
I woke up and was startled to see such a huge mound all arapped up...thinking it was just swelling and having the Dr say the same, I relaxed, however as soon as the swelling was gone, I and I healed, I was still a "D" cup!! I was so disappointed and angry. The surgeon told m he felt he did what my body needed.
He has since retired ...grrr
I had some minor complications during healing and the Dr stated I had some serious scar tissue from the previous capsular contraction in my R breast. *To this day it is slightly off and visible in my pics.

Now, I'm ready, I have made positive mental & emotional growth, I accept and love who I am, including both my character and perceived physical flaws.
I am really excited about getting these bad boys out!
My fear comes from the fact that im single and woried about possibly becoming intimate with someone 'after the explant', they have been such a huge part of my life-pun intended!

The thirilled part of me is looking forward to no longer being "the woman with the huge rack",
to again having normal conversations with peoples eyes (men & women) to feeling more comfortable in my own body again, to no more mystery pains n aches, to not having every picture cropped above my chest because these implants make me look so HUGE, and to buying off the rack clothes are are not all stretchy in order to 'fit'.
I have posted 'before" or "as is while Im waiting" and will continue to read your stories for support.
Thank you for being here.

I finally took some ‘before’ or ‘as is’
Photos, to think i used to love my implants, now seeing them naked in pictures I am really made aware of how I know I have made the right decision to have them removed, and can imagine how much lighter and how free I will feel both physically and emotionally.

Well, I’m 5 days out and got got my surgery-removal time slot for Tuesday.
I’m excited and nervous, admittedly been picking at all my fingernails n creating nasty hang nails n ugly fingertips!
Bad habit, I also haven’t worked out as much this week or last, I’m sure that will help my mood, then I worry about having to take a few weeks off!
Agggh!
Ok, I’m blathering n babbling on-stress.
I have a new relationship, he’s great and was wise n kind enough to tell me;
‘Honey, you are so much more then your breasts’ .....although later admitted he was rather fond of them! Men - geesh....he was trying to make me laugh.... but I am worried about how my real breast tissue will look, how n if they will ‘fluff up’ as well as how they will feel when I am intimate...
I’m sure I’m doing the right thing for me...I intend to hit the gym the next 5 days not so that I physically hurt but to help with the stress and elevate my mood... and I will take some befores, to ‘say goodbye’.
I’m truly looking forward to not looking so-top heavy n matronly, and to feeling the softness of my own breasts.
Sending positive thoughts to all the women on this wild n brave journey that encompasses rediscovering your natural beautiful self.
Thanks for being here.