I guess I just really want the body I've been...
I guess I just really want the body I've been working so hard these last three years to get. I've lost a ton of weight through diet and exercise, but my tummy and boobs just won't tighten up. I know no matter how much exercise I do, they'll never get back to anything resembling normal. So, here's my way of rewarding myself for my hard work.
I'm lucky enough to have a really supportive circle of people, from family, to friends and colleagues. My boss is giving me three weeks paid time off work to have the procedure and have enough recovery time to make sure I'm healthy.
I'm excited and scared all at the same time...but mostly excited. It's a bit premature to post any pics, since my surgery isn't until August, but I'm here to listen and learn from those who have been through it. Any advice, input, anything at all, will be greatly appreciated.
Leaps and bounds to tiny little baby steps...
Before ever thinking about plastic surgery, I just wanted to change my body through diet and exercise. I was actually pretty doubtful about plastic surgery and thought I could do it on my own through hard work and perseverance...I mean, it's worked for almost everything else in my life. It worked when I decided I wanted to live in Italy and made it happen 8 years ago.
At first, the weight came off like melting butter (yummy). I was losing like 3-4 kg (8-9 lbs) a week, but when I hit a certain point, the weight wasn't coming off as quickly. I was working out and eating healthy, but I had plateaued. I lost more weight in the first 8 months than I did in the last two years combined. Mind you, I still wasn't at my goal weight, and my boobs were still quite plump and (mildly) perky. I figured I'd just have to do more flys and them babies would perk right up.
Yeah. No. Not the case. The closer I got to my goal weight, the flatter and saggier my boobs got and the saggier my belly got. No matter how many planks/sit ups/twists I did, it never went away.
So, I seriously started to consider plastic surgery. It took me about six months of serious contemplation and discussions with my husband before I decided that this will be my reward for my hard work.
So, after a lot of research, and looking at prices, we decided to not have the surgery done in Italy. For just a tummy tuck, it's about €15.000 ($20.740), which is way out of my price range. So, we started to look abroad. We'd heard amazing things about Hungary from other women from the UK and Italy who have gone. The standards are high, and the prices are literally half of what they are in Italy.
Surgery has finally been scheduled, hotel has been booked and I'm ready to look as good as my hard work should have shown. I look good clothed, I just want to look ok naked, too.
I've posted some pics of my journey with my transformation so far. Excited to add the new ones, after my surgery, to see the final stage.
Feeling much more positive
I've been trying to get as much information as possible about my doctor, procedure, aftercare, etc. I've watched the procedure done on a video, so I know exactly what's being done to my body, I've read damn near every blog and website I can get my hands on written by people who've been there, done that, and I wrote to my doctor, and asked him to give me some email addresses and phone numbers of past patients who had the mommy makeover, so I could hear first hand experience from people who used the same doctor.
So far I've felt nothing but relief or positive when I have read the responses from the women I've spoken to. They loved the experience, the results, the doctor and staff.
The video didn't freak me out at all, I actually found it very very cool. My husband and I have watched it together, and he was just as intrigued as I was.
I feel a bit premature looking all this up and wanting to see ALL THE THINGS right now, as my surgery isn't for another three months...I don't want to burn myself out., but I don't see that happening anytime soon.
I'm just tryng to get as educated as possible before I go through with this...I know I can handle anything, but I'd prefer to have to deal with things I could prepare for, instead of being surprised and not know what to do.
Anyone else get pre-OP research burnout?
Hard, but not as hard as I though..
So, for the last two years, I've been a smoker. I was a smoker before that, a 1.5 packs a day smoker, but quit for four years. When I quit then, I turned into a crazy psychobitch, gained a bunch of weight and in turn got depressed again. Then, just because of the crazy I am, I started again two years ago. This time, I only smoked 10 cigarettes a day.
My plastic surgeon let me know, if I wanted to heal properly, I have to quit three weeks before surgery. Due to not wanting problems with recovery, I decided to quit now (6.5 weeks prior). I remember my last time I quit, and have been doing a lot of things differently now.
This period of my life, I have been exercising regularly, but mostly weights, but because I don't want to gain weight, I've upped my cardio to 4 days a week, instead of my normal two. I'm so worried about gaining weight! The reason I'm getting the surgery/make-over is a reward to myself for losing 100 lbs!! I don't want to gain weight...so I'm eating way less calories as well.
I'm emotionally doing ok...couple of psycho moments (my poor husband!),but all in all, I'm doing ok.
If there's any others out there who are going through the quitting smoking process, or who quit smoking for their surgery...any advice would be great to get over this hump. It's been 5 days, and I'm still jonesing pretty bad...ufffa.
Itty bitty titties
So, since losing all my weight, I've started cross fit.
Mostly, crossfit has been amazing for my body...except, it has made my boobs even smaller than when I lost the weight initially...which I thought impossible.
Just when you thought your boobs couldn't get any smaller....crossfit.
One month from today is my surgery!!! I'm so excited!
So, my surgery is in 12 days. I'm actually not nervous at all. I'm mildly concerned that I'm not feeling any of the normal anxiety that I keep reading about from every other person that's been through it. I think about my outcome constantly, but I don't worry and am not stressed about the surgery or procedure itself.
What I'm frustrated about, is that I quit smoking 6 weeks ago (the doctor said minimum 3 weeks before surgery, but I wanted to be dead sure my body had enough time to get the toxins out) and I've put on 8 pounds! The whole reason I'm getting this surgery is because I lost a ton of weight, and have kept it off for the last year. I wanted to be at my lowest weight possible before the surgery, so I didn't have to worry about losing more and mess up my results.
But because I quit smoking, my metabolism is not running the same it was, and I've put on 8 pounds. It may not seem like a lot, but it's really messing with me psychologically. It's truly doing my head in. I'm doing more in the gym, but it doesn't seem to be working. I have now only a week to lose 8-10 lbs, which is REALLY hard to do.
Gah! This is so frustrating!
4 days and I'll look like a new me....
It's less days than I have fingers on one hand.
Tomorrow is the big day!
12 Aug 2014
Day of treatment
So, I was supposed to have the surgery today, but due to unforeseen circumstances and an emergency at the hospital, the anesthesiologist wasn't available today, so we are going in tomorrow morning at 6:30 am. I was a bit disappointed at first (obviously), but then felt selfish, as the anesthesiologist needed to deal with an emergency with another patient at the hospital. It also gives me a bit more confidence, as my doctor prefers working with this anesthesiologist and didn't want to do the surgery with someone he's not as used to working with. They're a team, and I'd prefer having it done with people who are comfortable with each other.
My moon also started, so I'll be menstruating during my surgery. I'm a little annoyed by that, but it's life and can't be changed. Part of my surgery, is staying in the hospital for two days with a 24 hour, around the clock private nurse. I mostly feel sorry for her, as she'll have to help me change my girl things, as the doctor doesn't want me up a lot the first two days, and wants me peeing in a bed pan. He asked if I'd prefer a catheter, but I said no. I remember having a catheter in the past for prior operations, and eff if I'm doing that agin by choice! I'm not embarrassed about peeing in a bedpan in front of a nurse...I've given birth twice, which causes you to show and do WAY more embarrassing things in front of strangers. Plus, she's a nurse, I'm sure she's seen worse.
After I don't know how many conversations, we've finally decided the size of my boobs! I'm going with 300cc sub glandular. We don't need a breast lift, which makes me happy, so my tattoo on my areola won't have to be moved or messed with. We're doing a full tummy tuck with muscle repair and then lipo to flanks, hips and thighs. I was t going to do any lipo at first, but after speaking to the doctor, and him explaining how it will better contour my body, I've decided to go with it. He says with the hard work I've been doing with weight loss and weight training, my results should be good, and I'll have a bit of definition in my tummy...so that's a thing!
In twelve hours, I'll be asleep and having a doctor removing fat from my body, quite roughly (from what I can tell from videos I've watched) and then putting in new boobs and then making my tummy flat!
My husband has been amazing through this whole thing, and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world!!
See you on the flat side!!
Last night befores...
12 Aug 2014
Day of treatment
Thought I'd do before photos before I went to sleep....get ready for my afters!!
And we're off...
12 Aug 2014
Day of treatment
Heading to hospital now. Holy shit, this is actually finally happening.
So, I've made it! It's been two days since the operation, and it's been getting better and better every day.
The driver picked us up at 6:20 am on Wednesday and drove us to the hospital. The same of the hospital was Tomb, which made me laugh (nervously), and then we went up to my room. I'm quite fortunate, as my doctor had me stay in the hospital for two days with 24 hour private nurse care, so all the hard stuff they took care of, and my husband or I didn't have to worry about screwing something up.
When I got into the OR, everyone was so amazing! They were massaging my face, my legs, etc as I was going to sleep...I went under feeling very peaceful.
I don't remember much of the first day,I was in and out of consciousness, but I remember my husband massaging me face and hands everytime I woke up. He is so amazing.
Andi, my nurse from the first night was a heaven sent, mostly because she had to deal with me having to pee literally every 15 minutes from all the fluid they were pumping I to me. She also sang to me as she massaged my legs, to keep the clots and swelling down. Then Susan, the nurse for day two was just as amazing. And kept giving me small sponge baths, to keep me feeling fresh and not so gross. My doctor was great (I just can't get over how awesome everyone was!), and came by every day to check in on me to make sure I was comfortable. The day after surgery, he came in to take out the drains on my boobs. He said it wouldn't hurt too much, just feel weird.....humph, he's obviously never had a drain taken out of his boobs! He also changed my bandages, and I got my first look at new bod. I'm swollen like a water balloon, but I think I'm going to look great. The scar seems really low and straight, and my belly button doesn't look too awkward. Couple of more weeks, and I'll have a better idea.
This morning I was real eased from hospital, but before I left, I got my other two drains taken out, which was great, since I don't have to deal with them on my own. I also like that he uses a procedure that only requires drains for 48 hours! That was one of my biggest concerns, dealing with the drains, and I don't actually have to!
After the drains came out, Susan took me into the bathroom and gave me a shower!! It felt so so so good!
Now I'm back at hotel with my husband, relaxing and basically doing nothing, my recovery seems to be going really well. I have hardly needed the pain meds at all, even on the first day, and I even pooped!
My husband just came back with a game of twister, said he was sick of losing games to me, so decided to get one he could win for a change. He thinks he's soooo funny.
Ok, now I sleep. Will update later. This was definitely a 'worth it! For me at this point!
Usually, when my husband and I shower together, it's super sexy time. Well, today when we showered together, it was the most unsexy thing we've ever done. He's been so amazing it's alsmost sickening. He is literally serving me hand and foot, massaging my legs, my back (omg, my back is so sore!), he scrubbed me down in the shower, he washed and conditioned my hair, he runs to the grocery store for every whim I have. He truly has been amazing. I've promised to be his slave for a while once I'm completely healed, and promised to do whatever he wanted....I mean, I have to make this up to him somehow!
Off to walk to the corner and get coffee (my first coffee!!) and then probably a nap.
Yesterday was a hard day for me, emotionally. Cried a lot for absolutely no reason, which is really out of character for me, so my husband was super concerned all day. I tried to explain that it was normal, bit I'm not sure it convinced him or not. I've decoded to take myself off pain meds yesterday, and switch to Advil, which I think helped, as I feel a ton better today. Took a shower, washed my hair, put on clothes , instead of jammies, which I think helped boost my mood a bit. I have a follow up appt today with doctor, and I want to bring up the swelling in lower abdomen. It feels liquidy and not swelly, so I'm concerned he took the drains out too soon. We shall see, he's the pro, not me. I'm still chuffed as chips about my insicion placement, though. Boobs are still swollen and look alike snoopy, but hopefully that will go down soon.
Off for breakfast. Update after appt with doc.
Had a great follow up with the doctor today! I'm chuffed as chips! He said I'm healing faster than he's seen, and has cleared me for walking longer distances. I'm just so freaking happy!
Final appt before heading home tomorrow morning
Saw the doc today for the final appt before we go back to Italy, tomorrow. He's very pleased with my healing and my progress, which in turn, makes me really pleased with my healing progress. He took out all the stitches today, and I'm happy about my scar. It's thin and nice and low. I started wearng a strap over my boobs to help push them down....holy pressure batman!
Now, we just wait. I can't wait for all the swelling to go down, so I can finally see the fruits of my (and my doctor's) labor.
Curse you, antibiotics!!
So, I'm finally done with my antibiotics, and true to form, they've given me a ROCKIN' yeast infection. I basically want to floss my hooha with a piece of burlap rope. So, that's a comfortable thing.
On a better, and less gross note; my best friend from home is flying over and she gets here tonight. I'm going to pick her up from the airport later and then we'll spend the weekend and all next week together. It's been ages since I've been able to hug her. We talk on Skype all the time, but I'm really looking forward to hugging her....also, I'm looking forward to showing off my massive tits.
Yesterday and today I've been getting ready for her arrival, which I think was too much as I'm now having back spasms and I'm swollen to high hell. So now, I'm just taking it easy and playing video games until I have to go pick her up from the airport.
Ok, back to playing video games and rubbing my ass on the couch like a dog with worms...wait, was that too much information?
On my way!
So, it's been a bit since I've updated,but life has been busy. My best friend from home came to visit, and as much as I WANTED to be sedentary while she was here, shit just didn't work out that way. I ate poorly, walked at least 5 km a day because of showing her around, etc....and I prayed and am still paying the price. I'm swollen as hell.
I get to start massaging next week, so I'm looking forward to that, so maybe the lymphatic massages will help a bit. Posted some photos of today, which is just over two weeks PO.
So, today is four weeks! No more compression bra! I no longer have to have constant uniboob, and can wear sexy bras. It was a practice in will power to not show everyone my boobs today. I wanna show the world!
I've also been given amazing news from my doctor!
- I can switch from medical compression garment, the weird one with baboon butt and zips up each side, that extended from boobs down to knees - to a spanx type garment. This one is underwear style that comes up to right under my boobs. Much more practical, and I can now have my normal wardrobe again. So for this, I'm chuffed.
- I can go back to the gym! I almost cried when he cleared me! Mind you, I can only run (lightly, or even walking briskly) for 3-4 km, or use elliptical...but it's a start! I've been so anxious to get back to the gym...I have mild paranoia over my weight, since the reason I got the procedure in the first place because I lost 100 lbs, so the fear of gaining weight is definitely there....so being able to exercise and work out again is really good not only for me physically, but also emotionally.
Tomorrow I have huge concert to go to, and another on Saturday...so will post pics soon!
Back in the saddle...
So, today was my first day back at the gym. I knew I had missed it, but didn’t realize it until this morning. It was a big part of my life, and it was how I used to start my day. Wake up at 5.45am, go to the gym and workout for about an hour, then get ready and go to work. It prepared my mentally and physically for the day. I know that may sound off – but when I worked-out in the morning, my energy levels throughout the day were much better than they were if I didn’t exercise. I was much more lethargic if I didn’t exercise.
So – today was my first day back! I cannot tell you how great it felt to be back at the gym – I was cleared only for a light workout, so all I did was walk at an incline for 2 km and then ran (much slower than normal) for 2 km. The incline walk wasn’t bad, it actually felt good….but the run?! I think I have to get used to having boobs! It didn’t both my stomach at all, but the way my boobs felt as I was running was the weirdest sensation EVAR! I kept having to remember that they’re not as breakable as my brain makes them out to be.
Oh – by the way…I look fucking great in a sportsbra!
After my run, I did my normal stretching – that was also a mistake! My normal stretching after working out, is yoga – and I guess I just ‘assumed’ that it would be ok…holy moses NOT OK! I did a particular pose, and it felt as if my scars were being ripped apart, which they probably were and would have opened up if I would not have been all the way closed/healed by now. I’ll remember not to do that tomorrow.
On a weirder, creepier note:
I take the bus to work everyday. While on the bus, I always listen to music and do my own thing. Sometimes, if the mood takes me, I can’t help but mouth the words that are being bellowed into my ears. I don’t sing out loud, as I know that would be annoying to my busmates, but – to mouth them, I figured it’s ok.
Well this morning, because of feeling so good after the gym, I was in a particularly good mood, and a particularly good song came on – and I was moved to mouth!
Anyways – there was this creepy dude that I noticed after a bit that was watching me. When he got up to get off the bus – he had a raging….well…he was excited.
I may or may not stop mouthing on the bus.
So, if you've read any of my past posts, you'd know that my journey started about three years ago with losing weight. I was a really big woman, and because of it, my health, self-confidence and self-esteem suffered a lot. I decided to do something about it, and started a heavy diet and exercise program. In three years, I went from 230 lbs to 125 lbs. I know that seems like a lot of time, but it refused to do any crazy diet fads, etc...because I wanted it to be as natural as possible, so not only would I lose it correctly, but also so the habit of being healthy would form. I wanted it to be a lifestyle change, not a quick fix/bandaid to my problem.
Within the last three years, there were times where I had plateaued, sometimes for months, but never put weight on. It was a source of pride for me, and helped keep me motivated.
Well, six weeks before surgery, I had quit smoking and put on 8lbs. It did my head in a bit, but I knew I was doing the right thing and didn't let it get me 'too' down.
After surgery, however, with the 8lbs before, and then the last month not exercising and all the swelling (and maybe the giant boobs, too), I was a whopping 17 lbs up from my original weight. It was really messing with my self-esteem.
Yes, I know this was counter productive, and I knew I'd put on weight from swelling, etc, but it still didn't prepare me for how my self esteem would suffer from putting weight on, even though I was expecting it.
This is why I was so freaking excited the doctor finally cleared me for the gym, even if it was light cardio work.
Anyways on to the point of this post....I've lost what I've gained from before surgery, and now just have what I gained from quitting smoking! This is doing wonders for my self-esteem....just to see the numbers go in the right direction. I know they're just numbers, and I should go by how my clothes fit, but because of my body change, all my clothes for really weird...plus, the numbers were such a big part of my lifestyle change and motivation the last three years, that they're as much my friend as they're my enemy.
So...8lbs to go. With my eating habits and exercise, I should be there in about a month or so.
I'm wiggling....and onward I shall go.
Two years and about 2000 hours at the gym - and I'm pretty happy with my results!
It's been a long time since I've updated but figured it's time. A lot of changes have happened in my life since my surgery - most of them good.
I've started training in Sanshou (Chinese kickboxing) and MMA, and have found that it's not only amazing for my physique, but I'm really good at it. It's doing amazing things for my body, and sculpting it in ways I wasn't sure was possible. I sort of wish I would have started this ages ago!
I'm uploading some new pictures from very recently, to give an idea of the transformation I'm going through.
I love the six-pack I'm forming now!
Here are some shots of my scars - left and right breast as well as tummy scar.
I'm really happy with how the scars turned out. The ones under each breast are practically invisible, and the one on my tummy is still a bit in just in the center while white on the sides - but with how low it is, everything I wear covers it. I'm chuffed as chips about it!!