Jaw implant surgery & buccal fat removal & now really dislike appearance

I had jaw implant surgery and buccal fat removal and now really dislike my appearance. I got Jaw implant infection where I got them removed through local anesthesia and it basically gave me PTSD as it altered my nervous system. And now have daily facial pain due to scar tissue in my lower jaw due to three surgeries.
The buccal fat removal also was a big mistake, I liked my face with volume, I looked much more youthful. Because of this surgery I got psychological and physical trauma, I hate the results, and I lost the love of my life due to the negative change of my appearance and my self-esteem and confidence is now non-existent.
I basically now am in psychiatric care to try to process this whole ordeal. And I just wish I could have taken everything back, I would have an entirely different life.