Bye Bye Thunder Thighs! - Bryn Mawr, PA

Well well well. Here I am, back for more. Abdomen,...

Well well well. Here I am, back for more. Abdomen, check. Arms, check. Thighs, now it's your turn.

It's been almost two years since my first plastic surgery. What have I been up to? Lots, which is pretty typical for me. I try to have a normal, boring life and it never works out. Most recently I spent the weekend helping my best friend brush old cigarette butts off all the piles of clothes and bottles of anal eaze in her old bedroom and help her move into a new apartment. Meanwhile my other best friend is telling me all about how her second husband Mr. "He only does coke OCCASIONALLY" that she had to IMMEDIATELY marry has a mysterious Kik account. When asked when I plan on getting married to my boyfriend of now a year and a half, I responded that we're still waiting to gain approval from his accountant.

But I digress.

Body wise I have gained some weight back, which is typical this far out from bariatric surgery. The bad news is I have a little belly. The good news is my breasts filled out at they look fantastic. How the hell I managed to loose so much weight and breastfeed and have my boyfriend claim I have "porn star boobs" may just be the upcoming topic of a new episode of Unsolved Mysteries. And while I'm speaking crudely, let me just say my sex life has become completely opulent since my panniculectomy. Having to put it on pause to heal from a thigh lift is going to be the real torture. Oh, and FYI to any fellow FitBit users, if you're on top it counts for your steps for the day.

So very much looking forward to not looking like an elephant from the waist down. Those legs. Ugh. It's like I'm melting. The weird thing about me, though is that I have no qualms at all about being naked, but I won't go out in public wearing shorts because of the excess skin hanging out. Body image is a funny thing.

I'm returning to the man, the myth, the legend Dr. Christian Subbio for further plastic surgery. Really, why would I want to go to anyone else? His work is divine. I have more faith in him than any other doctor I've been to. I trust him.

A few more weeks til surgery! Hoping it goes fast and smoothly.

One month to go

I woke up at 3am this morning with acid reflux thinking about all the work I have to cram into the next month. I supervise a pretty sizable group of medical coders that support over 500 physicians, and although I love it, it can be very demanding. So I was up at 3am digging out my laptop and checking my emails before giving up and grabbing another hour of sleep.

I was in a car accident a few weeks ago (rear-ended by a car going around 50MPH) and my body is still a little stressed. My period came 5 days late and then seemingly reappeared today after only a 2 day lapse. Ugh. So between that, lack of sleep, and stress, I had twitchy eyes for a good chunk of the day. But one of my employees is creating a listing for me of things I need to watch while I'm laid up. Daredevil is at the top of it.

Anyway, I was looking at old photos of myself the other day and noticing how much cellulite I've always had. I have no illusions that I am going to come out of this with a dimple-free booty, because I have NEVER had a dimple-free booty. But if I could have a few less lumps and just a nice curved hip, that would be ideal. The picture I took doesn't even do justice, but what bothers me next after the inner bags is the excess of curves on the hips. It's like big rolling hills instead of a nice, smooth transition. I'm pretty sure I'll always have to buy curvy fit pants, though, because if my ass gets any bigger I'll need a zoning permit. I've recently learned what a "banana roll" is and now I can't stop checking out to see if I have one, or wondering if I'll GET one. Ugh. One more thing to get stressed about. I may need some Ativan to get me through this next month.

3 Days Post-op Medial Thigh Lift

My day of surgery went very smoothly! I I arrived at Bryn Mawr hospital at 6:15 and things moved pretty fast. Dr. Subbio came in to mark me, and he was as personable and considerate as ever. I told him I want a thigh gap big enough to throw a football through, and he laughed and apparently shared my joke with the nurses, who got a kick out of it. The nurses and staff were all great. I got a really cool inflatable heated gown that made me look like a lavender Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, but it was sooo toasty and cozy. I had a medial thigh lift, revision of my vertical tummy tuck scar, and liposuction on the thighs/hips/love handles. I was pleased to wake up without drains! I stayed in recovery for a little while, very highly medicated. I had a little ginger ale, a graham cracker, and quick texted my friends and co-workers to let them know I was okay. They gave me good anti-nausea medication, but I put on my sea-bands for the ride home brought a plastic bag along juuuuust in case. I kept my sea bands on for two days. Day one I mostly slept on and off. I had a heated blanket over my legs, which felt great. My first big barrier was going to the bathroom. I had a very tight compression garment on with a slit in the crotch and was having the worst time peeing in it without getting piss all over myself. Eventually I figured out the trick was to just unhook one side of the hip and slide them down and back up. My other big barrier was lifting my legs up into bed. It took til the end of post-op day two until I could manage it myself. I turned a corner after meeting with my doctor on day 2. I felt more mobile, and switched over from prescription pain meds to plain ibuprofen. I was even able to cook dinner. So far I'm very pleased with my results! The saggy skin is gone and although I'm still very swollen, my legs look much more normal.

One Week Post Op Thigh Lift

I have a four year old daughter that would grab me by the legs and jiggly them around while giggling. She called my thighs, “Mommy’s jiggly wigglies.” The couple weeks leading up to my surgery I told her I was going to the hospital and a doctor was going to fix mommy’s jiggly wigglies. After surgery we told her mommy had lots of boo boo’s and she had to be very gentle with mommy. My boyfriend helped me out with her on Thursday and on Friday her grandfather came to take her for the weekend. She came home Monday late afternoon. Her daycare is only a block away so I’ve been waddling her over to drop her off and pick her up. Last night my boyfriend wasn’t feeling well so I had to give her a bath and get her to bed myself, which was a little tough to manage. Backstory – since my divorce I’ve been living with my dad and older brother, the man-child. My dad is retired and does almost nothing all day aside from laundry. My brother occasionally mows the lawn and hasn’t really cleaned his room since our mom died three years ago. My boyfriend and I have been house hunting for a year and a half and have faced nothing but one unfortunate event after another after another. We have inspection on the third house we’ve had an agreement on coming up soon. Fingers crossed. Hour commute to work is killing me. Due to the usual drama that forces its way into my life, my boyfriend has to head off on Friday to fly out to California and take care of paperwork for his company and won’t be back for a few days. A weekend wrangling a four year old while still recooperating from surgery. Should be fun. Progress so far is good. I got some liposuction on my lovehandles and am bruised heavily on one side. The same side also got really irritated last night, and I rushed to the shower to scrub it. I was having a reaction to the glue on my band-aid on the incision for the cannula, the skin is scabbed and I’ve been putting antibiotic cream on it. I realized tonight that I’m having a reaction to my steri-strips, so I texted my surgeon. He got back to me very promptly! I removed the ones that came off easily and trimmed the rest and will try them tomorrow. I have trouble gauging how swollen I am. I can tell you my jeans fit pretty much exactly the same thus far, and I’ve noticed since the surgery my belly is getting super bloated very easily. I had a banana with peanut butter for breakfast, a can of pears for lunch, and was completely flat. I had some veggie straws and my belly blew straight out. I believe my period is going to start tomorrow, so that should be enjoyable as well. I’m able to get my shoes on by myself, which is big. But I will be so glad when I can sit comfortably on a toilet again.

Post-op day 9.

I hate taking prescription pain meds. Hate it. Most of them make me nauseous, and if they don't, they make me feel loopy. But, with all the plastic surgery I've had, I've gained quite a collection of prescription bottles, and the pain med ones are mostly full. For kicks, I keep them in my bedside table with all my adult toys and novelties. Underneath that is a cabinet full of liquor. If anything ever happens to me, CSI will likely raise a few eyebrows when they investigate my bedroom. "This girl liked to party!" they'll say.

I did pretty well today, feeling more mobile. I got up and drove out to Wal-Mart to pick up an internet order of superhero themed nightgowns for my daughter. I promised to buy her Shopkins if she was good, but they were completely sold out. I had to run to Target to keep my promise. Thankfully she cooperated with my the whole time. My kiddo is quite the "free spirit" as her teachers say.

I was pretty beat for the rest of the day after that. I'm still swollen. My incisions are red, so my doc put me on more antibiotics yesterday. I discovered I had another opening under my one butt cheek. I had to put my camera in selfie mode to get some antibiotics and a band-aid on it. Cuz using a mirror would make too much sense. Also, who owns a hand mirror these days?

I can't wait for my period to end, I am bloated as anything right now. I tried on a t-shirt dress I bought today and I look like a sack of potatoes in it right now. Ugh. I'm aiming for 4th of July to stop the compression garments and maybe (if I'm lucky) be able to swim.

3 1/2 weeks post op thigh lift & lipo

Finally updating and lots to say! I can finally fit back into my pre-op pants, which is a sigh of relief. I've tried on different compression garments since I'll be needing them for a few more weeks. Some aren't as squeezy as I was hoping. I would waist train, but I like slouching.

My incisions have all sealed together nicely. In fact, the revision of my vertical abdominal scar has sealed tightly enough that I have started rubbing a little Bio-Oil on it. I have a huge bottle I got on Amazon that is lasting me forever, even through the days where I've accidentally taken too hot of a shower in the winter and greased myself up in it. I always just hope that as I'm going through my beauty routine I never mix up my Bio Oil and my Argan Oil. I've had a few close calls and have stopped keeping them next to each other.

I saw my plastic surgeon just the other day. It's always fun when I drive over from work, because I pass Dutch Wonderland (an amusement park) as well as an amazing plethora of stores, roadside stands, and what I'm told is the best place in the world to buy Shoo-Fly Pie. It's like a test of endurance. My visit went well, had my little suture tails snipped. Everything is progressing well, I'm still quite swollen but less uncomfortable aside from wearing compression garments in the summer. I was told no heavy exercise, no cardio, so I've been keeping it to light calisthenics, stretching, etc.

There's a girl I'm friends with on Facebook that I think added me from a group because she's a *ahem* "fitness coach" and I'm sure wants to try and sell me workout routines I can get for free online and overpriced protein shakes. Coincidentally, she had a thigh lift two days before mine and has had a totally different experience. She was in the hospital for two days, with drains, didn't shower for nearly 2 weeks, and the other day said she was bawling in pain during her suture removal. I was out same day, no drains, showered the next day, and didn't even have discomfort when my suture ends got snipped. Counting my blessings.

I was recognized by a member of the RealSelf community while leaving my visit. I'd like to pretend that was the first time I'd ever been recognized from the internet. It wasn't. It was the fourth. I believe the first was someone I knew from mIRC recognized me at an anime convention. Second time I was manning the door for my sister's video game convention (before it got crazy popular and she sold it for a good chunk of change). I used to run a website where I wrote humorous articles about Lady Lovely Locks and Magic Middles cookies, and I was identified asked for an autograph. Third time I was starting a new job and someone recognized me from a medical coding website I tried running for a while. Again, my life is incapable of being dull and boring.

I finally bought a pair of shorts. I know I shouldn't buy anything yet, but I'm afraid if I wait too long, July will hit and all the shorts will be gone. It felt weird putting them on. I haven't mentally caught up yet that the skin is gone, I guess!

Lots more to say, but to avoid making this update too lengthy, we shall save it for next time! :)
Philadelphia Plastic Surgeon

Dr. Subbio is always great. ALWAYS. He performed my corset trunkplasty and my brachioplasty so I was more than willing to follow him to his new practice when I decided to have more work done. His new practice is magnificent, welcoming, well-lit, and comfortable. The staff is always warm and accommodating. Dr. Subbio always makes sure my safety is first and works with me to develop realistic goals and expectations for my ideal outcome. He's not only very meticulous in his work but a pleasure to interact with.

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