Gutsy No More :)) TT with BA and Thigh Liposuction - British Columbia, BC

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Well. And so it begins. I've been obsessively...

Well. And so it begins.
I've been obsessively searching this site and haunting the profiles of dozens of women over the past month.
I am and will remain ever so grateful for the experiences they shared with me. I feel moderately more prepared but perhaps a little more freaked out than when I started looking.
So much to think about.
Ok I'll start with me.
Why am I doing this? Because I work my ass off mountain biking and skiing, back country ski touring and hiking, running and walking with my dog. And I feel Great!
Until I look in the mirror. Then my sensitive little ego takes a hit, let me tell you. Oh, wait, I don't Have to tell you, we're all here for the same reason! Sigh. Thank God, good to be amongst people that Understand!!!
I am 41 years old, 42 in January. Two births- 17 yr old son, and an almost three year old God daughter that I carried for my friend.
Bless her little soul, I think she was the end of my erectus muscles (spell that right?!) as I was 39 when I had her. Things just didn't spring back into shape afterwards, lol. As witnessed by some reconstructive surgery I had to put my bladder Back where it more or less belonged after I gave birth to her 0_o
I told myself when I offered to do the surrogacy, that if I wasn't happy with my body afterwards, I would gift myself a new tummy. Then I took a close look at The Girls and thought What the hell. I'll gift meself Those, too :)
I started researching PS in other countries, looking for a more affordable option. I booked a consult with a local PS to glean as much information as i could, and damned if I didn't adore him from the word Go.
He took almost an hour explaining the procedure to me. Initially I only asked about the TT, but at the last second I asked about these so called Mommy Makeovers I'd read about. We were off and running from there. He did not suggest Any procedures to me, just offered info on what I told him I thought I needed/wanted. No pressure or 'upselling' from him at all.
I came home from that appt Determined to find the funds I needed to proceed. Find them I did (let's pretend I'm not freaking out about remortgaging me home, ok? Ok.)
I spent the next month scouring this site and the stories. I found out that Every surgeon uses different techniques, for different reasons. All valid, no doubt.
That left me pretty confused. I composed a list of twenty or so questions and emailed them to my PS. I'm certain some of the information he gave me already in the consult, but I just couldn't remember all the details.
I've read numerous stories of people waiting weeks to hear back when they have pre op questions. Well I was prepared for that. I've seen how busy his office is. What I Wasn't prepared for was a phone call at 8 a.m on a Saturday morning, three days after I sent the email. He spent almost 40 min on the phone with me! We went through every question and he didn't move on until I was satisfied that I understood completely what he was saying.
Did I mention that I Adore him?
Ok. So all the questions are answered. Or most. I'm sure I'll come up with more- I always do! For the most part though, I feel settled and emotionally ready to take this on.

Now. My questions for You ladies that have been there done this, and those like myself that are awaiting our date with the flat side....
I am single. My teen son will be here on occasion but not regularly.

What can I do in preparation to make this journey a little easier for myself?
I am well versed in how to keep track of painkillers etc, having been through three rounds of reconstructive foot surgery in the past five years (and a baby. No damn wonder I'm a little flabby :p) but this surgery scares the heck out of me because it just looks like it would be So Easy to rip open the stitches!
Any helpful hints will be much appreciated, Thanking you in advance!
I'll try and add some pre op photos soon.

The Ugh Files.

Forgot to add my stats
5'8.5" tall
155lbs give or take five depending in the day!
Very active, but not in a disciplined manor. I get out and do, a lot. But I've never been able to keep a gym routine going. Maybe because it was difficult to See any results? Probably I'm just too ADD to focus on a routine :)
Here are some one month Pre op pics, I will take some of the upper half another day :)
You can Almost tell there's some muscle tone hidden Waaay beneath the 'protective layer' as I've always called it :)

and, 28 days later

I will be on the Flat Side!
Let the countdown begin...

Twenty days.

Holy heck, the time is flying passed!
I had better start doing more than just Talking about getting things together...
So much happening at work right now, a blessing in disguise. It's keeping me from being too OCD on this site, lol.
I am starting to get so very excIted :))
If I accomplish half of the things on my list pre surgery I think I'll be happy. I know first hand how miserable it is to be in recovery, and looking around your house at all the s#%t you were supposed to get done and did not, lol!
(I am also the Queen of hiding disorganized messes under pretty blankets and behind closet doors, lol. )
I'm a list maker.
Let the list making begin :))
Healing thoughts to all the ladies beginning their journey.

13 days....

And I just erased my entire update. @&$@!!!

I am such a Ludite. Confused by the simplest principles of computer operations. I'll be the one that puts this baby through a window, I just know it.

Ok. Still making lists like a mad woman. Which gives me the false sense of accomplishing something. I know it's a falsity, because as I look around me....well, ain't nothin accomplished, lol!
Really, I need to get my ducks in a row re Christmas parcels that must go out, headed across Canada. If I get that done pre surgery, I'll be happier. And the Christmas baking...I'll be downsizing that little adventure this year, but I'd still like to get a bunch ready to go and in the freezer.

Big news of the week? All paid up yesterday, except the Hospital bill which I'll call in this a.m! Woohoo! Ready to roll in rolly polly, and roll out sleeeeeeek :)) with Boobs that are as full as they were pre last pregnancy :)))
I don't even need to tell you how excited I am, do I?!

No pre op appt with my Doc, he'll see me day of. But there is a mandatory pre op appt with the anesthesiologist. It's a four hour round trip for me and I'll have to miss a half day of work. I am just praying its more than a one minute chat and he hands me a pamphlet. Could be I get a little cranky if that's the case,lol.
Cancel that, last thing I want to do is get all cranky pants at the guy that's in charge of keeping me out cold and pain free for three hours o_O
As it was this update was dangerously close to rambling, so I'll sign off now :)
Happy Healing to all those on the other side of their date, best wishes to the rest awaiting their turn.

Silicone scar sheets

Curious how many of you have bought these and are you seeing results? Are they easy enough to tape in place?

Hope everyone is doing really well at whatever stage they are at!

Like a deer in the headlights.....

I am just sitting here all wide eyed looking at everything that has to be done and not moving at all...
This is so unlike me. Yes, the part about leaving everything until the last minute? That's totally me. But. Then I run my butt off and somehow pull it off.
I think I'm in shock, lol. I cannot believe its this close to surgery date.. All I can think as I sit here and write is....where the hell will I set my coffee cup post surgery? I have this 'shelf' made up of excess skin and stretched muscle that I am currently using.
Ok. I am making myself get off the computer and do Something!!
I may write a real update later but honest to God, I think this may be the first time in my life that I'm at a loss for words.

T minus 64 hrs , 32 minutes , 27 seconds and counting....

And then there was one... left.
I will admit to having some doubting moments, you know the kind-Really? Do I Really Need this surgery? C'mon, my belly isn't That bad. My Boobs are actually pretty nice as is....
Then I hung up my first ever full length mirror. My son helped me hang it on the back of my bedroom door. Then while he was off doing whatever, I tried on my new bra and stood in front of that mirror. Holy cow. If I allow my guard down and am not sucking it in.... I look like I have a volleyball in that belly 0_o
Yeah, I'm not so doubt-y now...
I will post some pics tonight in either a bathing suit or bra/undies so I/we can have something to compare before and afters with.
Ladies, let me tell you. You are a real blessing to me!
I go through a lot of things on my own, but being as this is an elective surgery somehow I'm a little more worried.
Last surgery was at the end of September to get screws removed from both my feet. A really simple surgery, that for some reason had me pretty freaked out.
You're going to laugh at this one.... As the anesthesiologist was putting in my I.V in the O.R, he had my hand in his and kind of bending it down to flex the back of my hand to get a good shot at the vein.
....I curled my fingers around his a bit, lol! A covert move to feel like I was there with someone that cared about me, so I wouldn't feel so alone! don't think he noticed or if he did it was ok. Honest to God, I think I'm getting more emotional the older I get!
Ok. Enough of that.
Today, instead of being responsible and organizing my home more, I am taking the dog for a nice long walk, then heading out for a half day of ski touring :)) Just at the local hill, it doesn't open for a week or so, so my girlfriend and I are breaking out the skins and hiking it to the top off the mountain so we can get at least One ski run in together before surgery.
Sunday I got my last downhill mountain bike ride of the year in, and managed to wipe out on a really steep loose section of the trail. I have a couple really nice shiners on my hip and thigh, probably right where my PS will want to do lipo. Lol. I'm a bruiser, so that's nothing compared to what I'll look like post ;)
Right o, off to meditate for a few minutes with Deepak and Oprah .
Have an awesome day, ladies, and Thank you for all the support!

Suitably exhausted. May even sleep tonight, lol!

Well. Spent the morning and the evening being a combination of running around like a chicken with its head cut off and a deer caught in the, attempting organization..worrying whether I have enough of this and did I get that and what if I get up in the morning and accidentally EAT??
Like that's going to happen, but there's no accounting for anxiety when I get going.
Did have a great reprieve for several hours this afternoon. Went out for a ski tour. The hike up was fantastic and we were above the clouds so got some beautiful Sun! The ski down....well, just glad no one was there to witness that feat of gracelessness....... I'll blame it on the sub par snow.

I have to get up at three, be out the door by four. At the hospital by six...
I'm driving myself in, and my friends will pick me and my car up when I'm ready to go- estimating surgery by 7-7:30. Should be able to leave the hospital around 4. I hope they give me a little extra painkiller for the drive home 0_o
I'm supposed to take in a bikini bottom so he can see how low the scar needs to be, if he can swing that.
I took some more pics tonight, I'll apologize for the poor lighting, but I wanted some comparison shots for us to wonder over three weeks from now :D

Love and Light, all.
Thanks for listening.
Happy healing to those on the flat side, patience for those of us on our way there ;)
Hasta mañana!

Forgot to mention....

This will be the first Christmas in more years than I can count that I Won't be aging five pounds :D
That was my Happy Thought for the moment...

Auto correct

Gaining, not aging :p
Less than four hours sleep, but at least there was no traffic on the road at that hour :)

It's 0645, and am awaiting the surgeon to come mark me up
Heck Yes!
Said good bye to my belly this a.m, one last look at it in the mirror. Did a great job safely carrying two babes. Now- Time to feel proud in a bikini again!


Ok. Small update as I can't see very well yet, everything is blurry, lol!
Will give all detes and some pics later.
Waking up did, I fact, kinda suck. I surprised myself by having the 'what have I done?!' thought, lol. The nurses were so great in recovery. They checked in me every two minutes and kept working with me till the pain was managed.
A couple hours in recovery, then onto the main floor.
The first time up, thankfully the surgeon was there as well as the nurse. I really needed them both for encouragement and physical support! Yep it hurt like crazy, but the second time up was better again so I expect this is the way it will continue, a bit better each time.
I opted to leave my catheter in, and I'm glad I did. A two hour ride -plus stopping for meds .5 hr- home I would have had to pee!
And, all night I've been comfy on the couch reclining and not moving much.
I did need to throw up after I got in the house, but that is normal for me post surgery.
That, was probably the worst part and once I'd done that I knew it would get better from there.
Too groggy right now
Thx for all the support!
I reallyreallyreally appreciate that!
Love and hugs

Feeling a bit more human!

Morning, ladies!
Well, I was pretty beat when I wrote earlier. I was up at three yesterday morning, and out the door by four. (With only a few hours sleep, of course!)
I didn't get home until just after nine, and I was pretty done in, alright.
So. At the hospital by six.
Pre posing in eat done by 0630. Then the wait. At 0730 the anesthesiologist came in to talk with me. He's the same one I've had the last two or three surgeries at that hospital, so I was happy to see him. Like having a friend in there with me :)
At twenty to eight my PS came in and discussed what all was happening, then marked me up. I had the nurse take a picture of that so I could do a real before and after. Except after I am, of course, not able to stand straight up yet so you all will have to use your imagination, as the laying down pic you can see the breasts really well, but not the stomach!
Ok. In we go to the OR, where everyone is So nice and calming to be around. Just love them all.
Came to in recovery with a fair bit of pain, I'd say an eight/nine. And, nausea. oh, i hate That part, lol.
The nurses were quick to start giving me some ice chips and gravol shots, then they went to work figuring out which painkillers would work best. The anesthesiologist came in to see me twice there as well. Pretty quick the pain was easing, and by the time they wheeled me out of recovery and into the daycare surgery area, I was at a four or so, with almost no nausea.
In and out of sleep for the next couple of hours. They were good to keep checking on my and bringing me tea water gingerale and ice.
Now, laying there I felt pretty good but I knew at some point i was going to need to try and move. They taught me how to empty and record drain output, and how to remove the catheter when I want to.
I tell you what, the idea of going home with a Catheter in turned my stomach a bit, I'm not so great with that kind of thing. But. What a lifesaver. Meant I could drink as much water on my way home as I wanted and not worry about stopping to pee! Then last night I wasn't up seven times to go, either!
However, at four this morning I was trying to haul it up onto the couch to see if the line was kinked, as it wasn't draining was caught on something, so I figured I'd wait until my son woke up at 6 and ask him to help. By the time he got to me I had to pee pretty badly, so I knew Something wasn't right. I asked him to make sure the bag wasn't caught under the recliner, and he was like nooooo, I don't think That's the problem, mom. I asked if it was a little full...he held it up and it was full to bursting as well as the tube, too! I managed to get myself up and then I apologetically asked him to follow me carrying my bag, lol. What seventeen year old kid wouldn't wanna do that?
He's Such an awesome young man. Kept saying don't worry, mom, it's ok, it's ok.
Anyhow, now that I'm feeling more mobile and can get myself up and down, I'll get to it long before it hits that point again!
Still only eating saltines, which, yes have salt in them but about the only thing my stomach can handle yet. I've probably drank a liter and a half of water and Gatorade, so I figure I'm counteracting all that salt!
So, the boy is at school today, but he's going to come to my house after school so that I won't need to worry about stoking the wood stove etc. he'll take care of that.
Pain level. Well, it's manageable now. I have Oxycodone one every 12 hrs, and in between I'm taking two extra strength Advil, wait two hours, two extra strength Tylenol. Alternating like that. Seems to keep it so I'm still sore enough to remember 'no fast moves!' But I can get in and out of me recliner well enough.
Interestingly, the stairs-whole slow- are not difficult. That action of picking up my leg and stepping up doesn't hurt. Which is a great thing because the bathroom is upstairs and the kitchen is downstairs, lol.
Okay. I've rambled enough for now, gonna post a couple of pics.
Happy Thanksgiving to all my American sisters, may you enjoy lots of family time, good food and laughter. Happy healing :)

Whoops, more pics!

One more thing!

I forgot to say, a 3.5 inch separation between the muscles, And they found a hernia they repaired at the same time. I'd been wondering what that lump was I could feel. Never hurt, though. Which is funny, because that's the sorest spot now, where the hernia repair is. Huh.

Who knew I could sleep also much??

Before surgery, a great nights sleep for me was seven hours, but the usual is five or six. I guess I'm making up for lost sleep, because that is All I feel like doing!
I did take a sleeping tablet at two this morning, as I wasn't awake enough to watch a show or read, and I was lonely lying there by myself? Best to just sleep it off, lol.
I am getting up and down with much more ease. I can feel tightness and pulling and a but of burning where the incisions are healing, definitely some deep bruising from the lipo on my saddle bag area.
My doc reached that area from the inside when he had my abdomen open, so there are no exterior stitch sites.
I asked how much skin etc they removed (in weight) and he told me they don't measure anything over two kilos as its difficult to manage. (?) so, I said less than two kilos gone? Noooo, he said. Definitely more.
Now, that makes me happy because losing that last five or ten pounds had been difficult-now, I'm halfway there!!
I haven't weighed myself yet. There'll be a substantial amount of water weight, I expect.
I can only be up for a few minutes at a time when my lower back starts to really hurt. I'm guessing from being all hunched over. Have not had the energy to snap more pics yet, but, soon I will!
Drain is still draining fairly steady. 50-70 Mel's every eight hours or so. I just have one drain in. The nurse came to my house today ( I'm so thankful for that, really not wanting to go anywhere yet) and she's hoping they will have a chance to remove the drain on Monday if the output slows Down. I guess that's directly correlated to much I stay Ok. I get it. Butt on the couch...
Rambling a bit, sorry for that and the typos.
Take care, RS Sisters. Happy healing thoughts to those on the flat side, patient calming thoughts to those awaiting their date!

Phone call from the PS

Checked on via phone by my PS just now. Asked me if I had my strength back and was surprised to hear that I was still sleeping so much. Resting is good, but he was a little concerned that I was so tired still. Then he asked me what I was eating. Aha. Eating. Right well I haven't been hungry, exactly...mostly still nauseated from the drugs I guess.
Important reminder that I did not think about!!
* have at hand lots of iron rich snacks, raisins etc. something you can just pick at as often as you think about it.
It really is not possible to eat as much as your body needs after this surgery, there simply isn't the desire or room in your belly, lol. But, we Need it. My wonderful boy asks me every half hour when he is here 'You need anything, Mom? Hungry at all?' And of course I'm not remotely hungry and have completely forgotten that I Need to be eating, lol.
So. If you have surgery coming up, be prepared. You won't want to eat, but you need to. I'm going to interrupt the kiddos computer time and ask for a banana and some raisins, lol.
Poor kid only just asked me fifteen minutes ago if I needed anything....!
Do I ever feel lucky that he's been able to hang out with me the past couple days.
I'm a lucky Mom :)
Happy healing thoughts to all you amazing women out there!

The all important Poo Review.

Forgot to update about this. It was a major worry for me, as past surgeries have left me So jammed up I thought I'd broken my butthole for good.
So, happy happy day of surgery, when I got to the hospital I completely cleaned out. Nerves, I thank you greatly.
Day of surgery I did not bother with taking a laxative or stool softener. Day after, I started alternating Senokot S with one pain pill, then I'd take a Dulcolax with the next. About five a day in total. I did not feel any stomach cramps until the end of day two PO (29th) I actually felt quite nauseated and a little crampy. But, Ladies, all I had to do was sit on the throne and wait for my body to purge. No pushing! Which I was so worried about. Past experience had me hyper vigilant this time, lol. I have back up suppositories ( haha, pun) also made by Dulcolax if needs be. The next couple weeks I will keep this program up. As one of my gf's said, if you end up with the trots, you can always back off a bit. But, if you end up super constipated, it's going to be terrible.
Right she is.
That is all.

Seriously. Wtf, Batwoman?!

Ok. I forced myself to get up and go downstairs for the first time today. I seemed to be getting weaker instead of stronger, and that was enough of that, dammit!

My main problem is after being up for about thirty seconds, my back starts to spasm. Anyone else having this problem? I could hardly lift the coffee pot to pour my first cup in five days. I find if I need to lift anything more than a pound with my arms outstretched, my back just screams in pain. My abs, not so bad, lol. I wasn't expecting that. I Was expecting a sore back, for sure, but not the spasms and weakness. My only thought is to actually force myself up and walking around the kitchen every half hour or hour, three or four loops around. I've been sleeping, like , 22 hours a day! I think I've been making myself weaker because I just have no desire to eat and I'm being all whimpy about the back thing.
If one of you lovely ladies could just swing on by my profile and give me a virtual smack in the arse to get me moving, I would much appreciate it. I am so not used to being this weak willed, never mind weak bodied :P

Ok. That's it for a morning rant. I can't promise I won't be back in a few hours for another. I haven't gone back upstairs yet, but eventually I will have to pee....


Keep in mind there must bea fair bit of swelling at this point. I'm pretty sure I will have hips some day, lol.
My Doc says no compression garment until after drain removal. I forgot to have a look at my thighs! No bandaid on the BB, either....seems odd but I can only base that on whatever seen on this site.
Everything Looks healthy enough though, right?

A little too soon to wean off the good stuff.

Yeah. Not sure what I was thinking except that yesterday was more or less manageable. That and even when I take it with Gravol, Oxycodone makes me feel sick. Not as bad a feeling as what I woke up with this a.m, tho. I took extra strength robaxecet at 3-4 hr intervals last night, but it really isn't enough. Now I'm chasing the pain which as most know, is an uphill run. That's ok, Tylenol will kick in soon enough and I'll take the big guns tonight at bedtime.
I was awake most of the night. I thought I'd be asleep, as I did more yesterday than I'd done in four days, but after 3-4 hrs of out cold I woke up. Got up to pee and thought I'd check if it was snowing as I'd left the porch light on. It was, but that wasn't the porch light. It was my car interior lights.... My gf had borrowed my car as hers at the moment needs some repairs and is shite in the snow. And, she was coming back to get it in the a.m. So there I was at , like 1245 in a heavy slushy snowstorm, wearing a pair of dog chewed holey soles that thank God I hadn't chucked as they're the Only easy thing to put on, shuffling down the stairs and out to my car... I was the picture of beauty between the shoes, and braids that haven't been touched in, like five days and a jacket that I can't get done up over my drain...
Good thing the only one out in these woods to see me at that hour would be the boogey man, and Thankfully I never thought about Him until I was back inside. (Must have, though, because I did lock my door..)
Stoked the fire while I was up anyhow, though it was so low it never caught :p
I chalked that up to my exercise for the next couple hours, and tried to get back to sleep, but geez, I was Wide awake. I layer there for a couple hours trying to pretend I was tired, and also trying to pretend I didn't need to pee ;)
That's when the power went out. That's when I decided that I Really needed to pee.
Now, the great thing about electrical recliners is all you have to do is push a button, it's So easy to use when your nursing injuries like this. The not so great thing, is, well, you kinda need electricity, lol. It took me a few minutes to extricate myself from the reclined position I'd been lolling in. Thank God that never happened during the first few days, I'd have been stuck, and surely peed myself if that were the case...
Climbing in was easier, and then I was grateful it was stuck in the recline position, lol.
My girlfriend got here at 8, I'd been up a half an hour thinking I should take something for the pain but hadn't yet. Of course, she couldn't get in, as I had in fact, locked the damn door..
She got the fire going for me, which is where I'm sitting now, with a blanket and a coffee, blogging my not so exciting but at moments entertaining life for you all ;)
Milo left for his Dads yesterday, hoping I'll see him mid week. Have two girlfriends that will check in with me in the next day or so. Dragged the stepladder into the kitchen last night so I could reach the micro and heat up my lean cuisine..( don't be had chicken (I think) And peanut sauce Bam! Protein hit for the day;)
I have a homemade Thai coconut chicken soup defrosting for lunch and/or dinner and so I'm feeling pretty set.
Determined to clean out the kitchen sink enough that should I have the energy, I might try and deal with the 'dreaddy' situation at the back of my head. Ugh. I'm not super excited about attempting that, but I definitely need to sooner than later, or I'll end up using scissors.
Hope you all are having uneventful, good healing days marked with a little less pain and discomfort than yesterday :)
Tonight? I'm taking a damn sleeping pill, lol.

Forgot to say

I'm getting some real pulling and pain at the one side of my incision, and the itchies have started beneath the bandages. Pretty sure thats progress, uncomfortable as it may be....
I experienced my first Real swell last night, and I honestly feel like its because I forced myself to eat dinner when I wasn't hungry, and quite possibly those Lean Cuisine meals have a higher sodium count than my usual food.
Woke up not too swollen though.
No drain removal today, as I must put out less than 50 mls in 24 hrs, and that was already this mornings drain full. Also, it's only just turning colour, a little in the orange side now instead of red.
Do these things make anyone else's stomach flip flop?!

Broke down and drugged myself :)

And I'm So much happier for it! I'd not had the 'good' stuff for about 36 hrs, and I just couldn't get any relief today. And I was tired. And dangerously approaching Whine-y. So, at 1230, I parked my but in the recliner with a book and took one of the Oxycodones. I stayed up there until four, slept for two of those hours. Just finished some home made soup and I am one happy camper compared to this a.m.
I think I'll have at least One of those every day for a few more days. Even if they do make me so 'duh' I can't figure out simple crossword answers, lol!
Hope everyone is having a good night.
Sweet and peaceful dreams of bikini beach days to all...


Hey everyone!
Yesterday was a banner day for me in many ways. My friend showed up at about eight to get the wood stove fired up, but then surprise! She didn't have to go into work. So. She wiped down and organized my counters and kitchen table. She did my dishes! She swept the hearth clean. All things that had been driving me freaking Crazy! So already I was feeling better. But then....then she offered to wash my hair... If I could make it to my knees, I would have dropped right there and kissed her feet!!
Thank God I can't, that would have embarrassed us both...
I hadn't been able to wash my hair since surgery day. By the time she was done, I was so tired I felt faint, even though I was perched on a stool and just leaning over the kitchen sink. We got me settled into the chair by the fire with my feet up, and she started working on my hair. Even though I had left it in loose braids, it was still pretty tangled. Took her 20 min or more to get through it!! The woman has achieved Sainthood in my eyes. She didn't reach for the scissors once. She rebraided my hair before she left, and made sure I had enough wood in the house for the day.
I was beyond exhausted, but made myself sit in the chair most of the afternoon...I didn't want to mess up my hair by laying in the recliner ;)
Now, my next focus should be an attempt at a sponge bath. I've been cleaning myself with wipes, but that doesn't really cut it. I need a rough washcloth and Soap!!

So, some other noteworthy points about yesterday...
I can now Almost stand up straight...! I suppose to the average onlooker, I'm still stooped and shuffling. But I can see the difference :)
Also, my discomfort level has dropped. I know this because for the first time in a week, I felt stoned. Prior to this, I'd been in enough pain that I didn't really notice the effects of the drugs, aside from being a tad 'slow' , if you know what I mean. Yesterday? Man, I was buzzed.
And.... I liked it ;)

So. Mornings are still the most difficult time for me, takes a bit for the drugs to kick in. Today I forgot to take a gravol with it, and wow was I nauseous.... Won't make that mistake again, I hope.
Grand plans for today are sponge bath, and bring in enough wood to see me through the night. It's minus whatever here now, and the extra heat from the stove is so necessary!
I hope everyone is healing great, and on a happy path to bright and flat futures!
Will update with pics after bathing, if I have the energy.
Hugs to all :)

A couple blurry photos...which I'm hoping I'm swollen in, lol!

Forgot to mention that today was an emotional day. My one niece ran into the worksite of another niece all a fluster.. Did you Hear what our Auntie is doing?? Well, I had in fact told the one, and she gave the other a bit of trouble for telling anyone. I really don't want to be 'outed' to everyone in the community. Particularly not my coworkers, who are 97% male!!!
I know it's my problem I have to get over, because people just love to talk and will no matter what. But I'd kinda hoped to keep it quieter than this. The blabbery niece knows several of my coworkers. Now I'm not sure should I call her and ask her to keep quiet, or just hope she has that common sense?!?

Drain drain go away....

Well, my big news for the day! My drain filled only 19 mls over night, that's the Least amount I have seen yet!
I'm shooting for under 50 mls in a 24 her period, and then they will take it out!! I have a phone appt with the traveling nurse tomorrow, and if all is well she'll come and remove it that same day :)
It's not as bothersome as I thought it'd be, but I keep catching the darn tubing and pulling it. I'm worried my clumsiness will do some damage.
Got a super fantastic Why didn't I think of that type of tip from one of our RS sisters. When I do go back to work, it'll be the later shift- so 2:40-11:10. Well, These days I am asleep at,like 8:30, lol! I'm really worried about staying awake at work!
fitchickmom ( you rock) suggested I start a week prior to work adjusting my inner clock to accommodate that schedule.
I. Never. Thought. Of. That...
So a big Thank you to her, I will do just that.

This is why this site is so valuable to us. We all have different experiences to share, and everyone is so eager to help out with ideas and suggestions.
Really. I would have been a blubbering mess trying to make it on my own without all the simple suggestions everyone offered up on how to make this experience Easier.
You ladies are all amazing and beautiful!

Guess today is my sappy day, lol.
Hope everyone is doing great :)

Emotional Struggles and the Drain extraction...

Ok, got yer attention now, lol!
Struggles. Yep I've been having a few. Turns out not everyone is so happy for me that I made this life changing choice to alter my body. I expected a few eyebrows to raise. It's not like we live in the heart of a big city where this is a common occurrence. But, I also expected that maybe people might recall that I'm a decent person, with a huge heart and generous to a fault.
I suppose maybe they haven't forgotten that fact, but I didn't think it would be so overshadowed by this that they would get rude about it. Cruel, even.
I spent most of yesterday in tears. I was really questioning whether I had made a terrible mistake. Really questioning. Terrible. Mistake.
Then I had the good fortune of thinking to myself, What if I really Didn't deserve this? ( like most on this site, I've been calming my nerves about this surgery with the mantra ' I Deserve this. I Deserve this' Rinse, and repeat.)
I Paid (ok, am paying, lol) for this.
No one bought this for me.
I researched the Shit outta this topic. Pros and cons. Things can go right. Things can go wrong.
I made an informed decision and booked my surgery with a wonderful man that afterwards, in my anesthetic fog, I came dangerously close to throwing myself at...
DeServe? F**k that shit, I Own this body. I don't need any damn excuse to offer to anyone. I am bought and paid for-with MY hard earned money-and damn right I am Happy with my results.
I never needed to Deserve it. I just needed to want it for the right reasons. (See fitandflat latest post. She outlines her reasons with straight up eloquence that will be a pleasure for all to read. I would go as far as saying perhaps should be mandatory reading for all of us-pre and post oppers)
I didn't do this for a boy. ( in fact, I am single)
I didn't do this to fit in. I did do it to feel like I fit in my body.
I didn't do it to impress anyone.

I did this to myself, For myself.
While I hate like hell how I felt yesterday, I am grateful for it because its led to how I feel today.
You know what? Little town starts talking? Looks pretty bad on them, get a life and watch out Karma doesn't kick their asses on the way out my door. Anytime I've heard of anyone getting any form of PS, a new car, winning a go to response, what my first thought is always-wow. Good for them! And, I really and truly mean it. People that are likeminded are the ones that will be left standing in my circle at the end of the day. Everyone else will drift off and I won't be struggling to maintain any form of relationship with them. Maybe it took this simple procedure to bring this to light. Some are family members.
Regardless. Adieu. To You and You and You.
My shoulders are feeling lighter at the beginning of this new day.
Sorry for the vent, lol.

Now. From vent, to Drain....
Yay! It's gone!!
However, it didn't want to go.
Most drains, as I understand it, are more than happy to leave. Done their thing, on their way.
Yeah. Not so much.
My girlfriend was laughing at the end of my story yesterday. Her comment was ' you realize you tend to hang onto a Lot of stuff you no longer need, right?'
(Yes, thank you, I'll be purging my home forthwith..)
Anyhow. At the risk of worrying some. My body had adhered to the drain. Way, Way down deep in there. Just behind my pubic bone, if I felt that right.
My poor teeny nurse, couldn't have weighed more than 90lbs soaking wet...kept stopping the pull and rechecking that she hadn't missed a stitch at the outlet. She hadn't. She'd done a good long look for one at the beginning. Nonetheless...Three times she stopped and rechecked because Gee, it Should just slide right out...!
Ahem. When I finally 'let go' I was seeing spots in front of my vision and Praying to God I would not throw up. ( I did that once, first night, thought it was going to kill me.)
I almost fell off my stool. And it wasn't out yet. We had to break for cold water and some breathing exercises. I was sweaty and white as a sheet...It was all very dramatic.... ;)
Man, that drain Still did not wanna come. She really had to pull, my body was hanging on for all its worth and in my head I'm screaming at my stomach Let it Go, fooooool!!
Lmao. Alls said and done i spent the next hour with my feet up in front of the fire and Tension tamer tea in my mug.
I apologized profusely to my nurse, who confessed to me she'd almost passed out getting her flu shot the day before...!
I think she was silently relieved that I didn't slide off my stool and onto her, lol.

There we have it. My dramas and victories for the past day, lol.
It is truly as much an emotional as a physical journey we are on.
I have been stuck in my head for nine days now. Mostly here by myself. Running circles in my brain. Over thinking. Sometimes my drug addled brain took me to some freaked out moments.
My friend gave me the much used quote her father loved to say.
This too, shall pass.
My plan is to come out the other side of it stronger. With more meaningful friendships.
And, hot. Yeah. I'm finally gonna look as good as I feel. Hot.. No apologies ;)

Love and light y'all.

May our victories outshine our struggles.

My favorite Tshirt

Just bought it this summer. Never wore it because all I could see was the rollsssss.
And, my comfy jeans. Which are usually loose on me. In the pics I have nothing under the Tshirt but a bra, then wearing my jeans I have a binder and a girdle under there. I don't need my belt yet, but there IS an inch of room extra :D
Right Now!!

Hey Laaaaaaadies!!!

I get to leave my house today!
I get my stitches out today!
I get to flirt with my adorable Doc today!
Will hopefully update with pics of my mysterious scar soonish :)
Hope all are well, happy, healing and having a good day.
More later.....

All that worrying....

...for nothing. I am a big baby about stitch removal. You'd think I'd be used to it after what I've been through in the last few years, but nope. So, guess what? There were no external stitches, just steri strips....!!! It was done before I could even say Ow.
So, I learned some things yesterday.
I learned that after sitting very upright in a vehicle for two hours, my abs kinda freeze in that position. Bit of a shock to reach the hospital and get out of the truck only to see I am more stooped than when I left home :p
We were there early though, so after walking it off for ten or fifteen minutes, I was better. I sat in the waiting room slouched down in my chair with my feet out in front of me to lesson the angle of my hips and torso so i wouldn't seize up again. I was playing on my iPhone. Bet I looked like a really old teenager, lol.
I learned that although I Thought I was moving pretty fast around my house, being that I'm mostly here alone and only going ten feet at a time I really had nothing to compare that to.
Well, in the Real World, it was obvious that I was Not in fact moving fast, At All. It was kind of disconcerting, I felt weirdly disconnected to the world around me as people zinged here and there. And a little disheartened when the 83 yr old Ladies Auxiliary volunteer sashayed past me in the hallway whistling Dixie leaving me in the dust....
So. I developed a nonchalant stroll. Like I had Allll the time in the world to get where I needed to be. Inside, it was killing me...:p
When my appt time came up, the Nurse led me back to the procedure rooms. I saw my Doc off to the the side in a room consulting with some other Docs, I smiled and winked as I passed. It was pretty funny because in that split second I saw-recognition to shock to confusion - in his eyes. I thought it was because he'd never seen me dressed up (yeah, I wore my skinny jeans, boots and a beautiful jacket that barely fits over my new chest ;) nor has he seen me with my hair down.
I read him right. As it turns out even though I Felt stooped, I was looking quite straight, moving faster than I realized and I was So happy to be outta my house for the first time I had that whole 'vibrant' thing going on. He thought it was me, then thought he must be mistaken as I was looking Too good compared to most of his patients at this stage.

Well, didn't That just set my mood right for the rest of the day.

He was super impressed with my healing thus far. I told him I was, after all, a model patient. I explained I'd done Exactly as he asked me too, which was to say, SFA for the past eleven days.
He was happy there was very little swelling. I explained that I had researched the heck out of what to expect after the surgery, and had decided on which after effects I'd tolerate and which I would Not. Massive Swelling- that's on the Not list. :)
He just laughed at me but then he explained something
*****Really Important!!!!
Yes, some things contribute to swelling. Salty foods and alcohol for example. But for the next four to six months, I'd have days where I'm waking up swollen, swelling at the end of the day, or whatever. He said I'm going to figure I did something wrong or overdid things or whatever. He said, no. Sometimes there will be no rhyme or reason. Don't worry about it, it will go away again it's just something I have to put up with.
So, my friends. Sometimes we'll swell, sometimes we won't and who the heck Really knows why?

Ok, I didn't get to See my scar, but my gf came with me and she assured me it was beautiful! She was very impressed.

I took my first shower before I went, so I Did remove the bandages and although I was heavily steri stripped, scar placement is visible enough. I love it. It looks just perfect. I took one picture that didn't turn out blurry, lol, so I'll post it now. After today's shower I'll take some more. My belly is all cleaned off of adhesive leftovers so looks a little less scary, and he also removed the gluey stuff from my belly button so I'll be able to see That better, too.
All in all, it was a great day. Indian food take out for us. I loaded my plate up and sat down with my friends. Then I realized I'd loaded a Pre surgery plateful... At least a third of that plate is in the fridge for my lunch today, lol!
Hope all are doing well, in your various states of pre op excitement and post op healing...
Love and Laughter :)


I am Loving my new breasts. Loving. Them.
They don't look too big on my frame, so I think it won't be obvious. They feel....right. That's the only thing I can think to say. They just feel Right.
Really happy I went the extra and got them.

Irrational mind vs rational mind...

So..yesterday was a funny day. It was Amazing and a little disheartening all at once, lol.
I drove into town to meet a gf for lunch. We had a great lunch, and she was really impressed with how well I was walking and how Happy I was looking. She was also surprised to be able to notice a difference even with my winter jacket on. She could tell how much smaller my stomach was. When I took my jacket off she was Really happy for me, like best gf's should be :)))
It was my first time in town since surgery, and I needed to just get out, see and be seen. We spent a few hours meandering through the stores, stocking stuffer shopping. It was So much fun.
If I can't go to a gym, I might as well shop for exercise.... :)))
I cannot recall feeling so self confident. It definitely showed in my smile that day!
Not once did I reach to tuck in my belly, only to make sure my shirt was covering my binder at the back ;)

Ok. Now about that binder. I don't 'hate' it, but I sure as heck don't like it. It makes me wish I'd gotten lipo around the bra roll area of my back. There's a gap of about 1.5-2 inches. Between the compression of the binder, and the compression of a bra strap trying to hold up the extra weight...I get an ugly roll hanging out :p
I can't really wear a tight top as it really is pretty noticeable.
I know it's temporary, but....

Now, here's where the irrational mind wants a say. When I got changed for bed, I was in the washroom having a pee and I looked down so I could enjoy the lack of belly flopped onto my thighs.
I must have been a bit swollen because Holy Sh*t! There was a roll! And if I bent forward a bit, there were Two rolls!! Wtf!! Where previously my stomach had been too taught to slouch at all, like not even a teensy bit.... Two Damn Rolls. I was so not happy.
Irrational mind had a little hissy fit, and that's no lie.
What if I straightened up too soon and re stretched my skin?!

OMG. I shouldn't have eaten the fifteen chocolate covered almonds! ( I know the bulk bin number for those by heart..could be I have a little 'problem'...)

What Else did I eat toady? I am NOT eating tomorrow...!
(Empty threat. I can't ever Not eat, no matter how upset/sad/worried I am ;)

Rational mind kicked in and reminded me that I've seen a couple other women express the exact same concerns.
I think because I had only just been daydreaming that same day about doing an inner tube float down the local river next summer, and actually being able to wear the bikini with no T-shirt to cover the rolls, I was extra freaked out and pissed about it.

This morning when I went to the washroom....I just didn't look. Lol, I wanted to start the day happy happy with my results! I am sure it will calm down, just as I am sure I Will have a waistline again someday soon :)
(I'm a little flat between rib age and hip bone, the curve is MIA until the swelling goes down, I assume...)
Yesterday was also a day that I noticed the swelling had gone down a bit in one breast....but not the other. I suspect they'll take turns, but I wish they'd get their act together and cooperate because it startled me. (No, I likely did Not spring a leak in one implant, but that was my first thought...)
How many of you guessed I am a few days shy of getting my period, lol??
Once I get it, the emotional train wreck should switch tracks, lol.

So, that's where I was at yesterday.
Here's hoping for a calmer day today, lol.

I hope all are well and enjoying whatever season your country finds you in. Up here, we're in the midst of Let it Snow mode. Beautiful....
Hugs and healing thoughts to all post oppies, calming thoughts to the pre oppers :)


I really hope the next four weeks fly. Exercise is as good as Valium for me, and I can't afford to shop off my crazy very often ;)
Besides, I am saving up for a shopping trip to Spokane at about the 2-3 month mark :D

Here's a fun idea....

....lets combine my first day back to work (this aft, until 11 tonight) with my first post op period...yaaaay!
Ok, not so much.
However, I deal with the bulk of my cramps before I get it, so could be worse. More just needing to deal with the ab binder and compressiony capris that are making today a hassle.
That, and every Other pair of pants I have fit, but not my work pants. :p
I'll be trying to stretch out the waist band before I go, lol!!
Which is soon! So I'd better post the two pics I wanted to, and get a move on!
In the pics you may notice a reddish band a Ross my belly. That's the remainder of a reaction to having adhesive bandages on for 12 days.
I am a delicate little flower in that way ;)
My incision line? Pretty well completely hidden in this bikini bottom. Which is great as I won't likely ever wear anything smaller!
Peeks out a bit on the back side of my hips but I'm ok with that. Outta sight, outta mind :))
Belly button is still a bit scabby, and seems Really tiny to me. I'm not sure Why I'd need a bigger belly button,'s teensy and I'm thinking it looks odd.
Anyhoo, if that's my biggest complaint, lol!

I hope you're all having a lovely weekend!

Work n Such....

Morning all!
Apologies if I haven't stopped by my regular profile haunts, life is back to normal-ish and by that I mean Busy, lol!
I had my first shift at work Sunday night. I worked 8.5 hrs, six days on, three days off.
The first shift, to be honest, Sucked. I got into my car at 11:10 that night, started it to warm up, then dropped my seat back and fully unzipped and opened up my pants...and that is where i sat for a few minutes before attempting the drive home, lol!
It's a good thing no one was around to look in my car window. Would have looked....suspicious ;)
It wasn't that I was in pain, so much as just serious discomfort.
I told myself it would get a bit better every day, and apparently myself was listening well because it has.
I also got smart and started taking an extra strength Advil on my way to work... I hadn't really been taking anything since about day ten post op.
today is a 12 hour day due to a meeting I need to attend before work. Maybe I'll take two advils today.
I'm pretty sure will be fine though.
In other news this week, I started taking ChillyDawg on her walks again. Yesterday I was up to the full 2.5 miles. I walk her along an old logging road, hilly and secluded. I've been wearing my hikes with Yak Trax strapped on because the roads are really icy and snowy. Can't afford a fall right now.
Takes me almost an hour, so only a few minutes longer than my usual 45. I am loving it. As far as exercise goes its very mild compared to pre op, but I'll take it! Feels wonderful to be out in the fresh air with my happy pup!
Also I'm able to lift larger pieces of wood into the house, or several smaller pieces at a time. Makes stocking the woodpile so much quicker!
I guess right now my biggest annoyance is the swelling and gas I have by the end of the night. My torso is pretty tight and its difficult to move around, let alone untie my work boots, lol!!
It feels like being 8 mths preggers, that whole between shoulders and hips there is No movey thing, and I can either tie my shoes or breath, but not both at the same time ;))
It's temporary and normal, I'm not worried.
Im still slightly hunched, but its winter so for the most part i think i just look cold, haha, like I'm huddled over!
If I sit still for too long, I have to be careful standing up as I'm tight for sure.

Otherwise, everything is going along great guns!
I need to get the dog out for our walk before I head into the meeting so I'd best get at it,I just wanted to give a short update.
I hope all are healing well, to the few that are having some extra issues I send healing thoughts to daily.
Patience! You'll get there and look Rockin' when you do, that's a promise!!
Love and hugs all, thankful to have my RS sisters accompanying me on my journey.


Last night at work when I went into the washroom I noticed that there was some....yellow dried stuff along my panty waist line where the abdominal incision line is. Not clear yellow, but a thickish yellow. Two teeny areas. I still have the tape on that my ps put over the incision line on Dec 9. There are no crusty looking bits on the tape itself and I have no redness or pain coming from that area. (The pain I could miss as I can't feel too much sensation there yet. )
The Only thing I've done differently is strap my abdominal binder Super tight across my belly before work, hoping to avoid the late night swelling. (Which hasn't actually been terrible since the first night:)
Maybe I squinched my belly too tight?
I'm not sure. I loosened it off before bed and now I'm going to blame That action for a miserable night and a painful awakening. My back was on fire all over again.
Tonight is the last night of my shift. Thank. God.
Called my PS office and asked his nurse if she could have him fax in a script for antibiotic just in case this gets worse.
It really is teeny tiny spots, but this is the first sign I've seen of any infection and I'd really like to nip it in the bud if that's what it is.
Any one else have this? I still haven't removed the tape and I won't unless he suggests I do so to have a closer look. I've been waiting for it to fall off as per his instructions.
Ok, so not my usual rah rah post, lol.
I suspect this is my body telling me to Slow the heck Down!
I can't help myself. I started feeling a bit better and I was off and running. Last night I caught myself bounding up the stairs at work and I had to reign it in...but at the time it felt Really good :)
So, I will take the dog for her usual walk, it may just be a little slower today. I won't race into town before to do Christmas stuff though. That was my original plan, if you can believe it.
What was I thinking ;) ?
I hope all are doing really well, ready for Christmas (and if not, there's always next year!) and enjoying life as best you can during the healing process.
Love and hugs , be kind to yourselves today.

Hit by a mid sized truck...

I think I must be getting a flu or something. Last night was the longest night ever at work. Felt like nerves all over my body were firing for no apparent reason, ,lol. That's why I figure I'm working on a flu. Helluva headache all night and woke up to feel its still there.
So. Incision line.
My PS's office called me back as I was on my way out the door for work. He wasn't worried about the incision line, she said he figured it was an allergic reaction to the tape. So just hop in the shower and take it off, pat dry the area and put some polysporin on.....
Yeah ok obviously that would have to wait until the a.m, I literally had my jacket on for work when the phone rang.
I left it as was, but I was super edgy all night.
Got home at 1130 and there was a bit more fluid that had leaked out, but the Alarming part was the Bad smell. Forget the shower, tape came off then and there. It wasn't the skin around the incision line that was irritated, it was the incision line itself and Now I have a few spots where the line is ever so slightly open. O_o
I soaked a sterile gauze with bactricine and dabbed at the worst spots, reworking clean portions of the pad as I worked so as not to spread any infection. It all looks pink and healthy, so I am going to assume I got it all in time. I decided against the polysporin for now, opting to let the areas dry out over night.
They look and smell fine this a.m. I'll reassess after my shower.
Now, about that left boob that's Twice the size of the right at this moment...Wth?? My friend at work last night gave me some of those hand Warner's, which I promptly activated and stuck in my bra, lol! Oh I was sore last night. More so than at any point in this journey.

The incision line, by the way, looks aweSome! It's a beauty. He did a great job. I'll see about taking some pics after my shower. I have every confidence that it will dry up in the spots I'm worried about. I just wish I could keep using the tape for the scar. Maybe once it all dries out I can go back to it? I'll have to ask him. Every time I showered I used a blow dryer to dry my tapes, but fair enough there was still some moisture trapped in there. I'm guessing that's what did it.
Sorry if this is rambling a bit, I'm still waiting for Something to take the edge off my headache.
Honestly, I really do feel I must be fighting a flu. It isn't just surgery sites that hurt, it's my Whole body.
Sorry flu, cant stay. I have too much to do before Christmas to be sick ;)
I will keep a close eye on my spots and update when I can.
I hope all are doing well?
Love and hugs to all the healing ladies, with a dose of patience to the ones playing the waiting game :)

Incision line pics

Ok, so there's a couple wide spots in the incision line, not so much holes just where there must have been moisture accumulated, making things a little gooey. So, tape is off, they've been cleaned out and I think they seem healthy enough so I'm not going to worry at this point.
Have a great weekend, all!

Busy days,

...busy nights!
Just Busy! You all know how it is this time of year!
The flu was in the form of a two day migraine nothing would take the edge off of (I think I've only ever had one migraine before in my life, I'll pass on having that experience a third time, thank you. Poor people that get them regularly!)
Accompanied by super aching joints and for that matter, skin. My skin hurt to touch :p
Glad that's over!
So, my incision is down to one spot that's a little weepy, I'm keeping a good eye on it and trying to not let my binder rub on it. Otherwise it looks and feels as good as can be, I am very happy with it :)
BB has a few crusty bits, I thought I would maybe pick at them, been almost a month maybe they were just stuck? Nope. Caused a little bleed. Cleaned that up and cursed my stupidity, promised not to touch again!!
Breasts are a Pain right now! Left one was so sore during my flu-y days I was worried there was a problem. It also appears much bigger than my right, but I came across the info pack I came home from the hospital with and they did indeed put the larger implant in my right to compensate for its slightly smaller size. I think maybe I needed a little bigger in that side, even. I'm worried it will be apparent in a tight top. I will wait and see when the swelling subsides in the left before I get too worried, though ;)
Otherwise all is well. I am enjoying a rare quiet moment, as I can't find my toolbox. Only place left to check is the boys room, and he's still sleeping!
I need it to take apart my chimney and sweep it. Smoke is backing into my home like crazy and that's the only thing I can think to do! Not really what I had planned on doing today, what with the gazillion other things that need doing before I go back to work tomorrow, however...!
That said I should get off my butt and do Something, lol.
So, a Merry Christmas to all, happy healing thoughts to everyone and I shall come back after Christmas and catch up with everyone, lol!!
All the best!

This just in!

The chimney sweep just got back to me, so yes I will pay a high rate to have him come and do it, lol. Tomorrow a.m
One less thing and I don't need to worry about twisting something I shouldn't!

Merry Christmas :)

I won't have time to write that tomorrow, lol.

Just a quick post to serve as a forum to pass on a Great Big
To all the ladies that have taken the time to write profiles for us to learn from. The happy, heartfelt, heart wrenching, sad, excited, victorious!, fearful, confused, wonderful posts that have kept myself and many others informed on the ups and downs of this amazing journey.
To the ladies that have taken the time to comment with a kind word and encouragement...

You are all so wonderful.

You've all played a Large part in my pre and post op days and I could not have done as well as I did with out your support.
My most humble Thanks ;)

Merriest of Christmases, Happiest of New Years!

Phew. Glad that week is done.

Ok, I've been MIA because I worked through Christmas, which is busy enough with out having to work, lol. I switched shifts for my first three days, so I could have Christmas morning with family and friends. But that meant I needed to work an afternoon shift on day three, then switch to a morning shift on day four. So, home at 11:30, bed by 12, up at 4:30. I was a zombie...
Morning of day five I was super tired but that was the morning my miscalculating cat ended up In the shower with me, so I was wide awake from there on out :))
Now I am on my first of three off, with a quiet moment to update.

On the Good side... I feel pretty good, despite the busy schedule, lack of sleep etc. my belly is feeling really good.
A little swelling, yes. And one pus spot on my incision, smaller than my pinky nail, that will not heal. My binder puts pressure on it for sure, but I think there must be a stitch in there that needs to be dug out. Keeps weeping a clear yellow fluid...anyone know anything I should know? A couple times its started to scab over, but right after a shower we are back to the beginning. I'm not sure if I should be worried, I keep it clean and uncovered because if I cover it with gauze so it can breathe, the gauze sticks and pulls it open! If I cover it in no stick gauze, it can't breathe....
The Boobs. They are misbehaving. My left is high and firm. My right is flatter and soft. They are at Least a half cup size difference, very noticeable in a tight shirt which I desperately want to wear because my belly no longer hangs out!!
When I push the implants up, my right is soft and low profile.
My left is firm and thick. Is it possible my right leaked?!
My PS is out of town until the NewYear, so I am not stressing about it yet, but it is very noticeable. If its leaked, it did so over a week ago, and my body feels fine so....
I'm sure I'm worrying for nada, may be that its just swelling...but I really would like to be, well, kinda perfect, truth be told. It's what I paid 7k for. I have very faith that if there's a problem my PS will fix me up.
More I think I just needed to vent a bit.
Overall, I am a very happy camper.
My stamina is increasing by the day, and I am loving my TT results! Aside from the one spot on my incision, everything is looking really great. I think my scar line will heal up so nicely!
I am super excited to get the go ahead to ski, which I am hoping will be Jan 15th.
I will post some pics, in them my left breast is definitely swollen -that's gone down now- but there's still a big difference. However, my belly looks amAzing!!
So, have a great day all, Happiest of New Years to everyone!

The good and the bad...

I went to the walk in clinic.....heres what the doc said.
The Good
I do not have an infection at this point in my incision. He told me to get some colloidal silver gel and apply it 3x a day. He covered the opening with steri strips and said to only leave those on a day at so.
He prescribed an anti biotic cream in case I did develope an infection. As I live out of town, I filled the script and will have it in the house, just in case.

The Bad.
He had a look at my breasts. His first words were 'Well. That doesn't look right...'
The left one was a little to firm for his liking, but I said it Had in fact decreased in swelling. Then he checked the right. He went back and forth between the two, a squeeze here and a feel there...( most action I've had in awhile)
He had a really confused look on his face. ' I can feel the implant on the left, but not at all on the right...'

He was looking at me expectantly, as though I might have an answer to this. I shrugged and said 'Aliens?'

Might as well joke, as I knew what was coming next. He figures there's been a rupture, which is where my mind was at anyhow. He's sent in a req form for an ultrasound, so by the time I get to see my PS on the 9th, I hopefully will have been in for that and have some info for him. There's been No trauma, no signs of trauma. So if it Is a rupture, I'm just lucky enough to get the one in how ever may thousand that has a manufacturers defect.
Could be worse. Could definitely be better, but could be worse.
I'll keep ya'll updated.
Love and hugs.

Somebody needs to take my computer away.

So, the more I google, the more I wonder if soft right breast is 'right' and firm/tender left is capsular contraction...? I have no idea how long it takes to develop this and I wish to heck it wasn't the holiday season when there's no one about to have a proper look!
Still. I Could find the implant in the right prior to Dec 20 or so. Now I can't really feel it or see it move....
But, the left is So Sore....
Anyhow, I'm just frustrated and need to Stop Googling things!!
Hope all are well.....

Just a little comparison..

I am sitting here in my chair by the fire, feet up. I was thinking about the pics I took pre op sitting in this same chair.
I have No idea how to place photos side by each so you can really see the difference, but I'll post a couple that I took.
Feeling really grateful today that I no longer need to worry about tucking my belly in when I sit down! I went for dinner last night and I wore a sweater that used to be tight across my belly, I had to really keep an eye on it that I wasn't bulging, lol.
It was Loooooose in the belly :)
Yay, team!
Ok, also posting a pic of a wee hole in my incision line. I think it's healthy and am pretty sure somewhere in there is/was a stitch that desperately wants/wanted out. Now I'm just waiting and cleaning and waiting for it to heal over. Problem is, it's right around my hip area, so my CG and pants kinda rub. I may ask the Doc to pop a stitch in it next time I go-thoughts on that?
Boobs! Right one still feels like its leaked, too flat and soft.
Left I started Really massaging hard last night-ow- and this a.m the few hard spots are softening..yay! Thanks to pretty eyes for suggesting. Somehow I didn't know to do that, lol. Too focused on TT and not enough research on BA. My bad.

So, progress. And, feeling good :)

Happy New Yous to all!
Be well, heal well, love yourselves and enjoy life!

Yet again,

you ladies lift my spirits!
Thank you for all the encouragement. So nice to not feel alone :)

Here's the skinny on my bad idea!

So. I've been sick of having open (very small, mind you) sites on my incision line. Wearing the binder and pants seems to rub along where the worst parts are. (Near my hips, so contact area with pants for sure)
I got a cold this week that was nasty enough to keep me home for a couple of days from work so I thought to myself, maybe I ditch the binder and clothes for a day and allow those spots to dry out and scab over? Post shower Friday afternoon I put on a loose robe that tied just below the breasts and that was all. Spent Friday night on the couch, with my robe open enough to keep the airflow good. That night I slept minus the binder (weird feeling!) and any clothes and when I got up the next day, sure enough things had scabbed over. I was super excited! Still too sick for work, I figured home a second night I'd do the same, although admittedly I was pretty swollen from not wearing my binder. (And, maybe bloated from feeding that cold...oh, did I feed that cold ;)
I went for a light walk with the dog, and only put on a spanx type Capri pant under my loosest jogging pants. That afternoon when I went to shower, I had a closer look at the larger scab. Hmmm. It looked very black. Like the pics I've seen of people's incision line openings that had the beginnings of necrosis or bad infection happening. It was a little red around, but not too bad....still. I kind of prodded the skin around the scab and yep, puss. Lots o puss. Ew.
No, oh no I was not going There! That scab came off pretty fast, as well as the one by my BB that was Also pussing..Into the shower and scrubbed it out. Thankfully I had that antibiotic cream the Doc from the walk in clinic had prescribed.
Well, guess what? 24 hrs after I started using that cream the opening is half the size! (Again, it was fairly small to start, and not too deep..)
I guess the lesson to that story is if something is healing from the inside out, I shouldn't be dumb enough to let it scab over. Duh. I just didn't think! Or, know, really, but in hindsight it makes so much sense!
Anyhow, I think I'm back on track now. I see my PS on Thurs afternoon. We will see what he has to say about the boobs. Swelling in the left is still decreasing, so the size difference is not as obvious now, but the right is still lower at the nipple line by a good inch, and super soft. Maybe my left will end up similar and neither the walk in clinic Doc nor myself know what we're talking about? Entirely possible all is normal, and I'm over thinking things ;)

That is all for right now, I hope everyone is healing well and enjoying their new bodies! Those in line for surgeries, happy thoughts for patience pre op and easy healing times post op!
Be well ;)

Well, that was unpleasant 0_o

So. The Boob news. There is absolutely nothing wrong with my right implant. It's perfect.... The left, well, we got a small problem there.
I should have been on antibiotics weeks ago. However, living in a small town, there are no other PS's to get opinions from when yours is on vacation. So. I went to the walk in clinic, as previously reported where I was told that the right implant must have ruptured.
In actual fact, the left breast was suffering from capsular contraction, with a nice infection.
Anyone else had this problem?
My PS looked at me and said 'Now, I'm afraid, I'm going to have to hurt you.'
He didn't lie, lol. Apparently there developed a sac of fluid that compresses the implant, and this needed to be burst.
Cringing yet? I had both hands wrapped around my left breast and I think I was shaking my head, oh, no no no! It's sore as it is!
They heard me down the hall into the waiting room.
It's a fine thing I never knew what I was in for yesterday....
Antibiotics for Four Weeks!! He really needs to kill of whatever is in there, as the alternative is -Ready for this?- removing the implant for THREEE months and then trying, right in time for bikini season!
Really really really don't want that to happen.
I go back in two weeks to reasses and, gulp, re reduce the sack if needs be.
Deep breath.
The rest of me, on the upside, is Awesome!
My three holes are almost completely healed up and I have the ok to SKI and hot tub :))))
Alright, ski on the groomed runs like a beginner is what he told me.
I am telling myself to Not do anything stoopid up there today which is where I'm headed ASAP so I had best get my fanny in gear.
Thx for all the well wishes, will check in later and give the ski report!


This bruising showed up this morning, and otherwise that breast is too tender to even Look at! Really swollen still, I'll give it the weekend and call my PS on Monday if it doesn't get any better.
In other news, I got to spend an hour and a half at the Hotsprings with my girlfriend and my almost three year old goddaughter :))
First time in public in a bikini, I kept reaching down to pull the bottoms up over my, the belly that's No Longer There :D
What fun to swing her about and play with out worrying about sucking it in all the time!
Haven't stopped grinning since I left the pool :))
Hope all are well

Try again with photo!

Well, could be worse ;)

Ok, so it's been awhile since I've updated..
Honestly, I think the antibiotics were making me extra tired.
So I went in for my two week check up with the PS. I knew a week after the first visit that I was going to need surgery. When the swelling started to go down, I could feel that the Big Squeeze had actually torn out the internal set of stitching. Ugh. Not as painful as it was, but still tender and I can feel the implant through my skin really well just above the external stitch line. Very lumpy opening in there.
Not so nice.
Also, the capsular contraction was back. Not As pronounced, but there nonetheless.
So at the second appt he said he could do a second squeeze
But seeing as how the first hadn't solved the problem, he felt it best to put me under and do a proper clean out.
(Plus that whole part about redoing the internal stitch line o_O)
I was inclined to agree.
Here's what will happen.
He will remove the implant, clean off the capsule encasing it and soak it in saline.
He will widen the pocket a bit by cutting back the scar tissue that's at this time squeezing the implant and giving me two very different looking breasts, lol.
He will cut away the lumpy scar tissue at the internal stitch area and then wash out the pocket with a saline rinse.
Replace the implant and fingers crossed I don't have this issue again.
I don't feel like it'll be an issue.
I'm not exactly Happy about another surgery, but I'm ok with it and I feel as though this will fix the problem for good.
So. The sucky part is no skiing for three weeks post. I am hating this, but would rather have it done sooner than later.
February 4 is the surgery date. I don't have to pay any extra for the revision, thankfully.
So, there it is in a nutshell. Could be worse. I'm happy it's not.

I am missing you ladies!!
I hope you're all well and healing fast or
approaching your dates with the flat side!
Hugs to all, I'll update again post op :))

Surgery today. Also question for TT ladies!!

Ok, so the biggest annoyance right now? I had taken the last three days off so I could ski, then got called back to work for every damn one of them due to my relief being ill! (I'm certain he was more upset about the flu than I was about missing skiing, but, you know, still....)
Ok, I'm pretty good with the revision surgery, think it'll be fine.
I noticed something else that's worrying me though. This weekend I realized I was hold my stomach In. Have not had to do that since pre op. I stood in front of the mirror and relaxed my stomach muscles. I didn't push out just let them relax and yes, there's a lot more stomach when I do that.
Is this normal? Do normal people always keep their stomach muscles engaged and then have a bit of a pot belly when they relax?!
I don't know what normal is, it's been almost 19 years....

Good Lord, if its not one thing, it's another, lol.
I think I'd be happier if I was sipping coffee with extra cream and even some brown sugar right now instead of hot water...! Soon. Usually I don't feel like coffee for a few days after a surgery, but this one should be a quick one so maybe I won't be as affected by the anesthetic this time?

Also, I do have a seroma in my upper abdomen that he didn't want to touch a month ago, or two weeks ago..but now I think I'll ask him to drain it-whilst I'm out cold, lol, as I am a big chicken :)))

Hope all are doing well and enjoying healthy stress free recoveries!
Will up date PO when I am able.
Hugs and stuff :))


Until tomorrow a.m
Well, I Did say all I really wanted this morning was coffee....
The universe listens ;)
Mañana, Beautiful ladies.

Day after..

Well, glad that's over :)
I only had a brief chance to speak with my PS and it was just as I was coming out of the anesthetic fog. What I recall is, that everything went really well.
I am sore, definitely, but managed by drugs, more or less. Also, its the kind of sore that feels like it will be over soon.
The only unusual thing to report-I had a good sized seroma below my ribcage on the right hand side, mostly above my belly button. I asked him to reduce that during the surgery and he said he would. He told me post op that he hardly got anything out of there.
Now, I assumed that he would just stick a needle and empty syringe in there to suck out the fluid.
I have steri strips and a fist sized bruise there now!
I have no idea what went on there, lol!
Guess I will have to wait and ask him next week when I see him...
So, I'm beat from all the drugs and not sleeping as soundly as I hoped last night.
Off for a nap, at 8 a.m!!
Love and hugs, will post pics at some point soon!


So, the left breast is still looking larger than the right due to swelling.
Anyone else look like this after having a seroma reduced?!?! ( belly bruising) my suspicion is that he used the Lipo cannula to do it!!!
Wth? Better not have scarred my new stomach :(
Patches by my underarms are from Lipo I had done there.
Swollen belly and breast, but otherwise all is well!

No rest for the wicked ;))

So, I am back to work as of last night. Yes, five days post op :p
I am happy to report that my brain was functioning rather well :)
I didn't do much in the way of shoveling th Ensor, though it was light and fluffy, at least.
They told be I could shower the next day. So I did. By Sat, my bandages and most of the steri strips had fallen off... I've been Really careful since then, but a dear friend is bringing me some more steri strips this afternoon. Hopefully I'll see her before I head to work. I feel.....naked without them! Though the incision looks great, just a little thicker than it was before-fair enough, second time opening it!
Perhaps I can find some nice man to massage vitamin A oil onto it to break it down....
I think post op patients should maybe be told to sponge bath, lol.
Now, the great news is that there's still obvious swelling, but-the left breast now Feels like the right! Win!!

Pain? More like discomfort. Mostly caused, I think, by my ever so delicate skin. The bandages they apply post op, in combination with the antiseptic whatever it is that they thankfully douse me in causes almost a burn like reaction.
Manageable by extra strength Advil! Yay, as I could not go back to work on anything stronger, and they unfortunately needed to cover my three days off with overtime....
The black and blueness of the belly. Heard back from PS's nurse this a.m, all normal for the draining he did. Or tried to. All that and hardly anything came out I hear. Sheesh.

The panic. I am up 5-7 pounds since post op last week! Please God, let that be swelling !!! Gotta be, right? As my eating habits have certainly not gone haywire....

Work jeans are a little uncomfortable as they are higher waisted and cut across the bruised abdomen (also, the extra weight might bear some responsibility in this...). Again, it's more discomfort than pain, so I shouldn't even mention it. My stomach is downright blackened now, so I am guessing he was digging around kinda deep looking for the excess fluid.
I Still have the lump though! So, I'm not sure what that is, I hope he knows and can tell me on Friday when I see him.
Otherwise, my girlfriend is an ultrasound tech and she suggested an ultrasound just to see if its a solid mass or liquid in there. I'm not overly worried, just that it is visible and I suppose it could have been there prior-just covered in a layer of saggy skin?
Anyhoo, I need to get ready to go to work.
Thank You all for checking up on me! So Very appreciated!!
I hope all are well, and on my next days off I will make the rounds and check in on everybody!
Love n light :))

It's been awhile..

Hello all!
I had noticed in the past that woman reach a certain point in their recovery...and just disappear.
Guess that was a month ago for me ;)
All is going along fine, so far the left breast is responding well to the second surgery- by that I mean it hasn't swollen up and become rock hard again.
Thank God.
Looks like I'm in the clear.
They are more or less the same size and feel.
Now I'm at the stage where I need to go and get measured for a bra, because I have No idea what size I'm at o_O
I'm back to skiing as of March first, so aside from working that's All I've been doing :)
Life, in general, is pretty good.
I'll update with more pictures as soon as I a) get a new bikini that fits properly!
And b) lose the five or six winter pounds I've gained :D
C'est la vie- happens every winter...
I hope everyone is doing really well, I'm so sorry to have not been checking in regularly!
I'll try not to make a habit of disappearing...
Hugs to all, be well and healthy!

Right- the TT!!

Yes, my belly is doing well!
I still have that mysterious lump that enlarges when I get some swelling.
Which is no longer happening Every day :)
I will check with him again as soon as I can get in to see him- no easy task when his secretary doesn't return messages and I forget to call back until After business hours.
Brainless, some days, I am.
Anyhoo, the belly is looking fab, has relaxed a little more than I would have liked but as I need to remind myself- I am no longer able to rest a cup of tea on it, so...
Take care everyone, I miss you ladies and wish you all the best!


Ok sorry it's been so long, life gets, well, as life is-busy ;)
Plus I needed to stop making this TT and boob thing my main focus.

I finally got in to see the surgeon, five months after he told me he wanted to see me in a month.
Couldn't get passed the secretary, no matter that He wanted to see me she refused to schedule. Said something had happened and he couldn't see patients in his office until June. (this was in March!)
Someone is lying to me, not sure which.
At any rate a couple of months ago I noticed my right breast was now lifting and looked different than my newly fixed left one.
Yup, scar tissue and capsular contraction happening there.
I saw him on Mon the 16th and he booked me in to be fixed up under a local anesthetic only on this Thurs the 19th.
About that.
It's quick-20-30 minutes, but the freezing needles aren't fun, and you find out rather quickly whether or not they're working.
One thing about me, he never has to Guess if something is hurting.....

At any rate, I haven't had much opportunity to rest since having it done and I'm back at work tomorrow. As I said, life is busy! If there were Any possibility of a day off, believe me I'd jump at it.
I'm not to wear a bra for a couple or few weeks, only a Tank with a shelf bra. Good thing my work shirt is loose and baggy!!
The idea is he split the scar tissue, so the implant can drop down again. If I wear a bra, it'll push the breast up and leave room for the scar tissue to reconnect. He also jammed his fingers in there and cleaned off the implant...ick and ow.
All done now, and I'll thank the universe to leave well enough alone, lol.

As for the TT, somewhere along the lines I've gained five pounds and can't seem to drop it.
Partly muscle, as downhill mountain biking has been going on since the end of ski season and I started running again. (though now nothing with impact for three weeks :p )
And I guess the skin from the TT does relax quite a bit, and I guess I am 42, so can't expect to be as taught as I was the first few months....
However. Overall the effects are quite pleasing, I actually look good in a dress now, no lumpy pouch in front anymore!
For that alone, I remain grateful!!
I started dating my ex boyfriend again a few months ago, we were together before my surgeries. Though he says I was beautiful before, and I think he could care less about the TT, he does enjoy the breasts ;))
He's said I didn't need it, but he's quite happy with the results...
And, that is my life in a nutshell...
Now, I hear my 3 1/2 year old Goddaughter moving around upstairs, which means nap time is Over, lol!
Best hit the showers and go get the promised post nap ice cream cone...(yeah, that five pounds certainly is Not all muscle, lol. Gotta live, too, ladies!)
Hope all are well, I'll try and get by to see updates from everyone in the next little bit...
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