2 DAYS POST-OP!!!! Surgery was on 9/8/16, site won't let me update

So, after being apart of this community for 2...

So, after being apart of this community for 2 years and choosing my Dr, after looking at countless stories and reviews, I finally have the money to move forward. I am a 23 year old Black female in the United States, and I'm getting a breast reduction. I have 36DD (prolly bigger, since they're overflowing my bra a bit), and I'm aiming for a projected B cup. I don't want large breasts or obstructive breasts at all, and C cup seems too big. I picked my Dr, he is located in Toronto, and his work looks amazing. My passport came in the mail today, so it looks like I can keep mobilizing. Here is what I've done so far to prep;

I reached out to his facility months ago and they sent me a questionnaire w/4 steps. My name, address and basic info was step 1. Step 2 was pictures of yourself from the front, back and side. Step 3 was questions you had for the Dr about the surgery. Being me, I likely went overboard with the info; for step 2 I gave 8 total pictures from each angle, as they asked, half unedited and the other half side-by-side duplicates with notes highlighting and circling my problem areas. (Picture examples will be included) Then I had a general section of what I'd like ideally. I had about 10 pictures of girls (faces cropped) with petite breasts that I liked, to give them a general idea. Then I made a section called "what I would like" with some bullet points specifying what I wanted and 5 more pictures, 3 of which had notes explaining what I liked about those breasts. I had another section called "what I would NOT like" explaining what I preferred to avoid, i.e. wide-set or large breasts and 2 more pictures with notes. Lastly I had a section called "surgical examples" from several Dr.'s, including the one I picked to show them examples of what I really hope to accomplish and what I hope to avoid and why. In total this questionnaire probably has 25-30 photos attached. I know it seems like a lot, but I'm leaving the country for this, I've waited for so long, and this is something that I'll likely deal with for the rest of my life. I think being as clear and direct as I can be makes it easier for both of us, and we can get as close as possible to optimal results. I would hate to go in with no real explanation of what I want and end up with results that make me unhappy. This is the closest I can be towards taking charge and responsibility for my wants.

**These are pics I sent Dr to illustrate my needs and wants, I don't know these women, I found their images on this site, I do not mean to denigrate either the women, or their surgeons, I'm sure they're thrilled with their results, even if I don't want them for myself***

Lots of things have happened, no surgery yet, though

Okay, since my last post, I've been in contact with the head nurse from the facility. She reviewed my pictures and questionnaire during a phone consultation and asked the Dr directly if he could give me the results I wanted (no crease under breast, narrow root, small size, etc). I was told after about a day or two that he could go small and give excellent results, but that there's a potential for atleast slight creasing due to my size. My many details, notes and info were apparently very helpful, so I'm glad. I decided to move on for the surgery and asked for the paper work needed on my end. I hadn't been to the Dr in years, so there was much to do. **Note, I only spoke to the nurse after paying a $200 CAD consultation fee. I was told, if I booked the surgery within 90 days, it would be credited towards total surgery costs**

Received the medical and lab work forms requested by the Head Nurse, a lovely woman named Kim, and was told everything they needed from the Dr, which seems to be very straight forward. I booked a pre-surgical appt. for that following week. During the phone consultation, I let it be known that I once had an innocent heart murmur as a child, since that was a medical history question. Because of how long it'd been since I got checked out, Nurse Kim wanted an ekg just to be sure everything was okay. I told her I was excited and ready to move forward with the next step and asked to book as soon as possible. She initially offered for the 18th, which would have been sooooo ideal, but considering all the tests I needed, we decided a later date would be better and booked for the 25th instead.

I went to a Dr for my bloodwork and check up. I gave them the forms that Kim sent me and informed them that I needed those filled and faxed to the Toronto office. After 20 mins or so in the waiting room then around 30-40 waiting inside of a lab processing area, a medical assistant arrived for blood and urine samples. Afterwards, waiting another 15mins, I was led into a a Dr's room where my blood pressure was taken, and an ekg attempted. Just my luck, the machine wasn't working. The Dr then came and checked my heart and my breast. She told me that I apparently still have that murmur from my childhood, and gave me a referral to the cardiologist for a heart sonogram. I got an appt for the following week for a follow-up and ekg. I found a highly rated radiologist through Google that accepts my insurance and gives very fast results back, so I'll get a referral to that place at my next appt.

In the meanwhile, following up with nurse Kim, she said the 25th was great and I only needed to call and set up the $1000 CAD deposit to secure the date. I called the next day that afternoon maybe 15-20 mins before closing time to place it. I told the receptionist what I was trying to do and she said she needed to check-in with the surgery coordinator to check for that date and she'd call me back, but she never did. Emailed Kim explaining what happened and said I'd call again the next day to try again. After a few tries, got on the phone with Kim herself, and was told that unfortunately that date on the 25th was completely full. She said she could make an acception for me, but I told her I'd much rather get him first or second and have a fresh and ready to go. My new date is Sept. 8th. I paid the deposit, so this time it's locked. So far I paid $1200 CAD out of a total cost of $8500-9500 CAD.

Things left to do as of now:
Heart sonogram
Fax all documents
Fill out any remaining paperwork
Book the train

^^hopefully it all goes according to plan

My Good Friend told me I deserve Breast Cancer!!?? And other negative reactions.

***As I tell the story, these quotes "//\\" = other people and these quotes "" =me***

It's funny how people react to you when they find out you're having a reduction. I've had some positive reactions from people, but several negative reactions as well. The negatives have been mostly from people whose opinions make very little difference to me. But they also come from opinions that do matter. Or did. I'll share a few.

In this particular scenario, I was at home when a friend called. This person was one of my best friends in high school, and we stayed friends for long after up till this point. So she calls me to ask something, and this was right about the time that I first got in touch with the Dr's office. I'm really excited and impatient around this time, so I sort of say to myself, "man, I can't wait to get rid of these things!" She asks me what I'm talking about. I'm surprised, thinking I must've already told her about it, but I'm like okay "I could've sworn I mentioned this to you, but yes I'm getting a breast reduction surgery."

"//Why would you do something like that?\\"

"Well, my chest is too big, it's painful and uncomfortable"

"//Okay, but I have big boobs too, Natacha, but I deal with it-\\"

"Well we're different." (already used to defending this by now)

"//Sigh, how is it different Natacha?\\"

"For me, it's not just a matter of being uncomfortable; it's constant neck pain, shoulder pain, back pain, I've gained weight I'm not as active as I used to be and you know how I used to be. I don't fit or like my clothing anymore and it's a physical, medical and mental problem. I don't go out for anything other than work and school and I'm tired of living this way."

**"//Okay, but if you get breast cancer, it's karma.\\"**

I blinked. I was silent for a bit. Did this heifer really say what I think she said!!?

"Um, what do you mean?"

"//Well, I mean that if you mess with that for no reason, you're going to get problems.\\"

... I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt and explain it how she could understand. At some point in the conversation she then tells me that she thinks I need therapy...

"Um Carlie, have you ever heard of body dysmorphic disorder-?"

"//Oh God, Natacha!\\"

"Oh god, what [name]? I'm just trying to explain this to you and you're being really judgemental, right now. Like... I'm not doing anything to anyone I'm not hurting anyone, so... Why do I deserve cancer for that?"

At this point, she recants and says, "//Okay, Natacha, I didn't mean that you deserve cancer, that's not how I meant it.\\"

"Okay, I get that, but that's how it came off."

Things get awkward and I change the topic, asking her what she wanted to talk about. She said she needed a favor, but no longer wants to ask. I tell her to just tell me. She says, "I really don't like asking people for favors, Natacha." So I'm people, now?? And why are you acting as though I'm being the ridiculous one??? I finally pry it out of her then we hang up. I picked up something of mine from her house the next day, and we haven't spoken since. I'm not angry with her but... I'm good off the negativity.

That same day, she texted me later apologizing, and we texted but it was mostly me texting and trying to get her viewpoint to understand why she said those things, and her taking long lengths to text back. At some point she tells me that I'd be better off with a more positive attitude and I realized that I'm wasting my time. I set up the pickup for my belongings and that was that. When I dropped the subject, suddenly her texts were much faster.

Other strange reactions I've had are usually from men. I have another high school friend, a person I've known for years who consistently tells me that he's going to miss my chest, he can't picture me without my boobs, there's no reason for this because they're perfect and so on. Now, this person is a homosexual man. I've never had a relationship with him that goes deeper than friendship, and I know he isn't interested in me that way. So it's truly baffling that this person that has no interest or claims to my body has so much to say about it! One minute he's supportive, the other he's weird about it.

Another person who is no longer a friend, but more of a passing acquaintance has expressed his opinion on this as well. This person and my gay friend are very close. My gay friend we'll call Oliver and this person we'll call Terrence. One day Oliver calls me to ask me about passports. At the time, Oliver had been so supportive that I had actually planned on going with him to Canada as my travel companion. So he asks me passport prices and add I'm giving him info, Terry pipes up to say hello. Then he asks what we need passports for, and Olly's like we're going to Canada. He asks why and I say vacation, just to visit. Then Terry sort of mutters "didn't you say there was some other reason you guys were going? Some weird reason?" Olly's like "huh? Idk what you're talking about." It was at this moment I realized Olly opened up his NOTORIOUSLY big mouth about my private medical business, and they were trying tobe coy about it. I prepared for the questions.

I eventually admit I'm having chest surgery, Terry didn't hear me so Olly blurts out I'm getting a breast reduction. Terry's like "Oh. What for?" Olly joins in with a "Yeah, Natacha are you sure it's really worth it??" It crossed my mind to explain it to them, but Terry's opinion is literally nothing to me and Olly already knows what's up, so I didn't bother. Terry then gets on speaker to say, "well, I think you're crazy for this, but go ahead and do what you feel you have to do."

I'm thinking... When did I request your opinion? Are you a doctor? A mental health expert?? JESUS???? So why do you think I care at all what you think about my life??? Mind you, I don't talk to this guy. At all. Haven't spoken to him regularly in years, no birthday wishes, holiday wishes, nothing. He doesn't reach out to me, and I'm not checking for him either. So whyyyyyy is this fool so concerned about breasts he will never lay eyes on, that belong to a person he never sees? Tbh, you should be more worried about your girlfriend that's been cheating for the past eight years, rather than my business. Fix your life before you give advice, bruh. Real talk. When I asked Olly what the heck was that stunt about, he said Terry didn't understand why I was doing this and he really likes big breasts and he felt the need to say something it.... Once again... Worry about your chick, not me. My body is none of your business. Funny how men who have nothing to do with you, still feel entitled and compulsed to control, direct and monitor your actions as a woman. PLEASE.

Last one today was about my father. Now he was absentee thoughout most of my adolescence, until my mother's passing and from that point onwards our relationship has been tumultuous at best. Therefore, I don't really tell him my business. One day I get a call from him screaming and carrying on about my breast reduction. He claims my aunt (who I live with) told him about it, and he's demanding to know why I would do something so crazy. In another convo, after I book the procedure, so this is last week. He's surprised that I'm actually going through with this, and is shocked and hurt I didn't tell him about it. Considering he called me months ago screaming about it, I thought he knew. We continue speaking and he goes in to say that the reason my chest grew so big is because of all the "upper body movement," I engaged while I used to box. Years ago. Back in HIGH SCHOOL. *facepalm* I mean I appreciate the concern (in the cases where it's actually concern and not b.s.) but I'm good guys. Don't Worry about me, worry about y'all.

Can't help but to think the only reason this is a problem is because I am female. If I were a male with gynecomastia, I can't help but feel that people wouldn't be anything but supportive. Hmmm... Moral of the story is: don't worry about the opinions and negativity of people that have no bearing on your life. Do what makes you happy because, as a wise Dr once said, "those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." Lots of love~~~

2 days post op!!!

Feeling Sleepy, won't talk too much. I'll explain everything later because many things happened, but for now I'll put up some quick before and after. I'm so very excited. Right now, the right breast feels a little bigger than the left, but I was thrashing about some. It feels as though I may be a bit bigger than a B, but that could be swelling. I think I'm the B cup that I wanted to be. Not much bleeding anymore, not much pain, just soreness. Taking my meds and not doing too much. In a comfy hotel. I'll update more later.
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