6 Month Old Implants. I Want Them Out!

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I have been hating my implants for a couple of...

I have been hating my implants for a couple of months now. They are about 6 months old, 450cc silicone , under the muscle and I'm terrified of what I'll look like when they are removed. I had zero breast tissue to begin with and writing this makes me even more terrified of the look and feel of my breasts afterward. If it makes a difference, I have had three children and my stomach regained it's former self months after delivery. I actually don't regret the augmentation, it has really opened my eyes as to what's important in life and I no longer am trying to be my former 21 year old self. I am married now, I'm a mother and I want to focus all my love and attention to my husband and children....not to my looks. I don't know how posting on this site works yet, but I would really, really appreciate kind words of encouragement. This is a fragile time for me and I'm seeking advice and encouragement. :) Will update soon.

So scared

Ok girls, I'm freaking out. I am worrying myself sick. I keep thinking that after I get them removed, there will still be silicone in my body. I've only had them for about seven months, but what if the shell started "sweating" silicone immediately. What if the capsule shrivels and feels like breast cancer down the road? I'm trying to stay positive but I am so damn mad at myself for doing this. I know things cant be undone but I am growing so paranoid and anxious each passing day. I am getting panic attacks almost daily from the worry. I can only talk to my husband about it so much before he starts to get sick of the worry. I don't blame him. My consult is in one week. I don't want to wait any longer. I just keep thinking about the long term repercussions of this stupid mistake. I cry every day :(

Consultation tomorrow

My consultation is tomorrow. I'm going to ask him about capsule removal, if that is necessary. I hope he doesn't scare me into second guessing my decision, whether intentional or not. I want to hear the truth, but I also wouldn't mind a little sugar coating to ease the pain. I'm not as emotional about my decision anymore. Although I do get down about it, I have been trying to keep my mind off of what is happening as best I can and I have been trying to see the silver lining in this situation. I have so much to be thankful for and boobs are such a small worry in the scheme of things. That sounds better on paper, but try telling my mind that when it is 1:00 am and I'm still wide awake with a million worries in my head :/ Wish me luck!

Consultation complete

Had my consultation. My doctor was so great! He didn't try to talk me into or out of anything. He advised me to wait for a little while to make sure this is what I really want. I felt a little confused going in there, I was second guessing my decision to explant and I guess my indecisiveness showed. I felt a little better about having implants after speaking with him but after a couple hours of being home, the anxiousness of having these things in my body showed its ugly head again. He mentioned briefly during the examination that he could do an internal lift. We didn't go into much detail and so I am researching a little bit about that. Anybody have any opinions or experience with an internal lift? I was still unsure but I spoke with my husband tonight who made it very apparent that if I chose to remove them, he is behind me 100 percent. I just don't think I can live with these things. I just want to feel like myself again. Small boobs and all. The only person who sees me naked is my husband, but I'll be so afraid to be seen in a swimsuit when I have this done :/ Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

To lift or not to lift....

So, I got a quote for my procedure. My conflict now is do I get the internal lift that he is suggesting? There are so many great results from women who didn't have any sort of lift. On one hand I feel like I should just do the explant and wait a year to see how my boobs heal. But on the other hand, I do not want to go in a year later for yet another surgery. If my results are O.K. I will always be thinking, how much better would I look if I had gone with the lift.....or, if my results are not too great, I will be kicking myself thinking the lift was the answer :/ Can anybody give me advice regarding an internal lift? Does anybody wish they had gotten one? Does anybody regret getting one? Is anybody planning one in the future? Thanks for your help, ladies! This site is the best!

Pre op today

I had my pre op today and I am feeling very confident in my decision to explant. I decided to do the internal lift. So in less than two weeks I will be implant freeeeee! 99% of me will not miss them. Then there's that damn 1% that's vain as hell :D I'm hoping for the best but expecting the worst. If any of you have any advice to give me, I would appreciate it. Wish me luck!

Second thoughts??!?

I started second guessing myself today. I have been putting off paying the remainder of my surgery fee. Tomorrow is the last day I can pay the rest. If I don't, I lose my deposit, but I also keep mah boobs. I started second guessing myself after seeing some pre BA pics as I was looking at old family pictures last night. I literally have NOTHING. And they are supposed to be smaller after the explant. I feel like I am worrying myself out of having nice boobs (in clothing) for nothing. Talk some sense into me, ladies :(

Tomorrow is the day

So nervous. This all feels so surreal. Wish me luck!

done diddity done done

I'm at home nestled in a warm, comfy blanket. I am so glad I did this! wasn't nervous about the explant, I was nervous about the lift and still thought I should reconsider. So I did. I just explanted with no lift. If I need one six months down the road, I will do it, but I wanted to see what my au naturel look would be. I wanted one less worry. I just want to forget about mah boobs. One reassurance was the nurse, as she was putting me in my post op bra said my skin looked really good so that gives me hope! I feel fantastic! Like I finally woke up from a bad dream. It's indescribable. I was less nervous and had less second thoughts taking them out as I did putting them in. I was put under so I didn't feel a thing until i woke up and could feel him stitching me up! So that sucked! Other than that, i can breathe, i can cross my arms without boobs in the way lol. And in this bra under my hoodie, i don't look much different than before i had this done lol! On a scale of one to ten, pain wise, I am probably a two. Maybe a one and a half. I am so tempted to peek but I haven't. I have lightly felt them and they feel pretty much the same (keep in mind I have no breast tissue lol) but I do feel some extra skin to the outer sides of them. If that doesn't constrict, I can always use it to push them together and get more cleavage! :-D my doctor was amazing and caring and professional even after I changed my mind last minute about the lift. It was literally right before I was about to go in. He didn't try to talk me into it and there was no vibe liked "you're gonna be ugly, lady" he was way cool with it. Well, I'm very tired so I'm going to rest. Thank you to EVERYBODY for their support! It has been said before but I'm going to be a broken record, this site was my life boat as I felt I was drowning in uncertainty and depression. Thank you to everyone who has given advice, supported me and shared their stories, especially ones with pictures. I am going to post some as soon as I feel better. This was the best decision I could have made....not getting the implants, but removing them!

First post op

I had my first post op appointment today. My PS was very pleased with my result so far. I think he was a little apprehensive about my ability to bounce back after such large implants with very very little tissue. But he said things are looking great. He wants to see me in three weeks. He didn't mention the need for a lift later on, but I guess we'll give it more time. So far I am very happy with my results. My boobs look almost exactly like my pre BA look. They are just a little more soft. They feel like a baby's butt lol! I hope they firm up sooner than later. He also told me to wear a snug sports bra. But I feel I should be wrapping myself in an Ace bandage.....so I am. Not very tight, but tight enough to wear I feel supported and compressed a little. Shouldn't hurt, right? I know, I know, I'm going to call and ask tomorrow. I always forget to ask these things when I am there. I was a little embarrassed today and dreading the response. I was feeling so good, I didn't want any slightly negative response to break my bubble. But, like always, he was so awesome and made me feel good! How long did you ladies use compression and did you feel like it helped speed things up or tighten things up a little better?

1 year and then some!

I'm back! It has been a year and two months since I got those disgusting plastic bags out of my body! Time has flown! I have not had even a fleeting moment of regret about my decision to explant. I have felt free and light and carefree and wonderful! My breasts are almost exactly like they were before I got implants. My right boob has some flex distortion on the inner cleavage part. It did bother me slightly in the beginning. It no longer does. I asked my PS at my year post op if there is anything he could do about it. He told me we could stitch it back to my rib and he was less than enthusiastic about giving me that option. There is a vibe now like "You're not gonna give me money for expensive implants, so I'm done with you, lady!" So that's disappointing but what are ya gonna do? I opted not to do another surgery to fix the muscle. It is only noticeable naked and thank goodness I don't walk around like that, so I'm good. I don't want to chance something going wrong just to fix something so insignificant. I'm pretty active and feel so strong now that my implants are gone and I would hate to lose any strength in my chest. I would also hate to tear the internal sutures by working out my chest at the gym or rough housing with my boys (which I do a lot and we go hard!) Ladies, I can't tell you how much I love and accept my body now. I have accepted every little "flaw" my big butt, my cellulite, my less than flat stomach. Before my implants I was consumed with all things beauty and trying to fix everything that was "wrong" with me and I saw things that were wrong that, in reality, were not wrong at all! I feel so free and liberated. I no longer buy into society's skewed idea of beauty. I am no longer a victim of low self esteem and insecurity. It feels amazing! I actually don't regret getting the implants because they really did free me from my prison of self doubt. I have read some profiles of women who get re-implanted after only a few months after explant because they hate the way they look, but please give it time if you are feeling like your results are less than desirable. I am almost a year and a half post explant and I'm still seeing slight changes for the better, particularly in my muscle, as there is also a slight "dent" that has filled in SO much since the explant. It's almost not there anymore. But it took a year and it's still fixing itself. Also, to anyone who is having a hard time finding bras....particularly if you have a tiny rib cage and really small boobs....H&M is where it's at! I am a 32B / 32A and it's hard finding bras that are shallow enough where they don't have that gross gap at the top. H&M push up bras, not the T-shirt bras, but the push up bras are fantastic! The cups are shallow and they have a small amount of padding only at the bottom so you don't have that obvious padded bra look going on. They are lightly lined to give shape and are soooo comfy and cute and cheap! You can get a 2 bra pack for like 20 bucks! There is life after explant, a happy life at that, but you have to realize that there will be imperfections and possibly insecurities and hard times finding things to fit, namely bras and swim wear. There have been times, particularly early after my explant, where I had a hard time finding swim tops that fit. But then I thought to myself "I couldn't find any 32 DDD swim tops either!" Also, my cleavage looked weird in push up bras and swim tops with my implants. I didn't like that. So we as women will always have things about ourselves and our lives that we will dissect and it's up to us to stop that cycle of negative thinking. We are not perfect, but we are beautiful. And we are so much more than our boobs! Happy healing to all those who have explanted and good luck to those about to. Explanting was honestly, the best decision I have ever made. And the best gift I've given to myself!
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