23 Yrs Old, Getting Explant Soon After BA

So I wanted to give a little update after all this time. I was thinking about this whole ordeal yesterday, and how wierd it is to think about how much emotionally pain I was in because of my boobs.. It's not that I don't understand that it was not a fun experience, but I actually felt like my life was ruined at the time. It's safe to say that it's not ruined! I rarely think about my boobs or the scars now. Yes, I wear bras and bikinis that hide the scars, but it's not a big deal. I just wished I had known this back then, when I was at my worst. That it would get better, and that how your body looks is really not that important compared to other things in life. The best thing that came from this experience was definetly that I don't care about looking perfect anymore. I don't want to look perfect, perfect is boring. I love my body, not because how it looks, but because all the things it can do. I work out because it is healthy, not to get my body to look a certain way. It's very liberating!

First: I apologize for not updating more and not responding to comments. Many things have happened in my life since my last update. I've lost two people, a friend and a family member. I'm grieving and thinking a lot about life, death and the meaning of everything. Maybe I'm having a existential crisis, I don't know, but I feel empty and my thoughts are somewhat disturbing. I hope this will pass with time.

The surgery, my boobs, the scars and the muscle deformity feel much less important now. But still, I want to make an update. I think everything is healing well. My boobs look almost the same as they did before implants (I'm in such awe of how amazing the body is at healing!), but not as firm. For example when I lie on my back they fall towards the armpits and they did not do that before implants. I don't know if they will get any firmer? The scars are looking good, but of course very visible. I don't think I've seen anyone here at RS that has scars as low as me. I don't understand what my PS was thinking.. The muscle deformity has not changed since my last update. This is what bothers me most. I remind myself that I'm lucky that I'm not deformed all the time and look much better than what I feared. I've learned a lot and grown as a person trough this experience, and I'm thankful for that.
Hope everyone that has explanted is healing well!

The relief of having the implants taken out made me so happy the first two weeks that I didn't dwell or think about the things that weren't so good. Now that over 3 weeks has passed since my explant, I'm still happy and relived but also sad and worried about some things. The absolute worst is that my breasts look deformed when I flex. I wanted to take a picture and share with you, but after I took it I could't look at it without getting really sad so I just deleted it... The thought of living with this for the rest of my life scares me.
The scars also makes me sad. They are about 2-3 cm under my breast, so they are very visible. But I think the surgeon did a good job with them, so I hope they will get as invisible as a scar can get.
The third thing is my right breast. It has not gone back to normal as much as the left one. I don't know if there are some adhesion going on, loose skin or swelling, but it looks smaller because the fold is gone. I have a lot more asymmetry now than before my BA because of this. The good thing is that i didn't see this before I looked at some photos I took, so I don't think it's very noticeable in person.
Despite all this I'm still happy I removed my implants! I remind myself of this every time I get sad.

Lastly I just want to add some information that I was interested in when I looked at reviews before explanting:
- My implants where 255cc anatomicals under the muscle.
- I had them in for almost 4 months.
- My fold was lowered a lot during my BA
- Nothing was done to raise/restore my fold during removal of implants.
- I didn't have any kind of muscle repair.