Breast Fat Transfer - 1.5 yrs Nightmare, I hope it ends

I had a fat transfer to breast on in November of 2017. It is the end of May 2019, and there is still no end to the nightmare. I have cried almost every day , have not had intimate relationships, not much fun with anyone or anything at all because of feeling destroyed, depressed, and going from one surgery to another to fix what Dr. Bednar did. I will relate this step by step.
Dr. Bednar injected 400cc-s into each of my 80cc sized breasts on November 17, 2017. Two weeks after the sutures opened and dead fat started leaking out of them. I had fever, vomiting, couldn't work for 2 weeks, and had to work from home after because I constantly had to change wound dressings as dead stuff kept leaking for 1.5 months. As a result I ended up with 2 drastically different sized breasts, innumerate breast lumps, lots of unsightly scars, and trauma that have changed me for life.
I've had 4 more fat transfer procedures and lump removal surgery in the last 1.5 years and my breasts are still asymmetrical – even though the volume is getting close to being the same, one nipple is now hanging lower and looks more outwards then the other and even if I go for nipple repositioning and end up with a visible scar from it, doctors can't guarantee the nipple will settle into the right position.
I am exhausted from constant consultations with doctors, surgeries and recoveries. I do not wish anyone to go through this.

During the week I get up, rinse up, put make up on, go to work, deal with what's at hand – probably survival instinct. Weekends are different. Almost every Saturday in the past 1.5 years I wake up crying and checking my breasts out non-stop. I have come across research showing that 1 factor that affects the quality of a woman's life the most after breast cancer surgery is breast asymmetry https://www.youtube.com/watch?vMLp9Uf3_1_k. I can fully attest to that. The asymmetry I got after the fat transfer with Dr. Bednar preoccupies me almost every minute of my waking hours. I do my best to focus on work during the work hours but even in meetings with clients and definitely while working alone I get distracted by thoughts about it and sometimes have to apply mental strength not to start crying.
Today is a Saturday. I am sitting all day at home – crying, reading articles online about different approaches to breast asymmetry correction, looking for something I haven't heard yet that might help me, looking at doctors' "before and after"s – going over some of them for the n-th time. I don't want to go anywhere, don't want to see anyone, and I don't see any point in this life quite frankly until I feel whole again with my breasts being the same size and shape as it was before Dr. Bednar's procedure.
Lots of breast reconstruction doctors have pretty bad cases – women who came to them had entire or big parts of their breasts lost to cancer or they had severe tuberous breast deformities, so their "after" pictures are definitely better than what they started with – I hope they are happy – but in my case, my "before" often looks like their "after". It makes me fear whether it is ever possible to correct smaller asymmetry and deformity like I have, and the fact that mine is a smaller deformity than what you get from cancer doesn't make me feel any better. I did not have cancer. If I had cancer I am sure I would assess the situation differently. In my eyes I am drastically different from what I was naturally like symmetry-wise, and there is advice out there that I learned to live by: never compare yourself to others but strive to be better every day compared to what you were like before. And I am worse than before at no fault of my own. It's upsetting. Very.
My emotional pain may be exacerbated by the fact that I have very well trained eyes – I am a graphic designer, and I may see visual differences more distinctly than people who haven't spend as many years as I did analyzing things with half a pixel precision, but unfortunately I can not put other people's eyes into my head and connect them to my brain, and even if I did – that will take my ability to do my job as well as I do away. No one is perfectly symmetrical, I understand, but the way I was before was good enough for me, and now the difference is way more visible.
I don't know if this long rant is gonna be helpful to anyone. For me it may give me a little bit of an emotional relief. For you – I guess, you should know that Fat Transfer procedure has a risk of creating an asymmetry and it is way more agonizing to have it than what you may have thought when you didn't have it.

Just wanted to put a quick update in. I had 2 more fat transfers (at this point 5). My breast size originally was 34AA, now it is still hardly a full 34A cup. The breasts are still different size, shape, and during the last surgery I had my nipple moved up. It is hard to see the difference in the picture taken from the front – it flattens out the volume but I can see it from my view looking down. The shape is different and even though the new doctor filled in the right breast's cleavage area, the right breast is still sloping down to the right more than the left one. One doctor I saw said that the only way to fix it back up is by moving the entire breast mound under the skin and suturing it to the muscle and it would be a very involved procedure which he refused to preform, thinking just moving the nipple up would fix it. It did not fix it.
It's hard to follow all the comments in the story, so to remind you, after I had my first fat transfer to breast with as Dr. Bednar, my left breast's incisions bursted open and all dead fat leaked out, leaving me with a severe asymmetry. I asked Dr. Bednar if it would be better to drain and scrape the right breast too because asymmetry was unbearable to me. He said he'd make the size even in a couple of months which didn't happen. He tried, but after 1.5 years of his trying the breasts were still uneven shape, size, and full of lumps. Leaving the right breast larger for a long time, made it sag and move in a different direction from the center of the chest wall than where the left breast is, so now even though another surgeon tried lifting it back to the symmetrical position with the left using a Benelli lift, it was not successful. All I got is a big scar around my right nipple and the right nipple stretched.
I know a lot of you will say it looks fine, but that is if you compare me to other people, people who went through cancer treatment or breast explant or .. it's just them. When it comes to you, there is no comparison. I started with a completely clean, symmetrical, scarless body, and I mourn it so much every day of my life for the 3rd holiday season that I don't get to enjoy, and I am so disappointed in the doctors, and in the world that does not protect you from something like this happening.