The girls are here! - Brea, CA

Ok, so I think my story starts out very similar to many others on here. Short version: I'm a mom with sad saggy boobs and wants them brought back to life!

Longer version: I'm 36 years old with a beautiful 7 year old daughter. Most of my life I've had boobs on the bigger side (compared to most). I think from Junior high I was a C cup, fuller as I got older. Never a "petite" girl, but not really over weight. Got married, put on some weight, had a baby. Got up to 36 DD's. I tried breastfeeding, but it didn't work. Lost some baby weight, but stayed in the 140-150 range. 5 years ago hubby and I tried for another baby, but it wasn't happening. Not in the plan I guess. But for the couple years we were trying, I didn't care much about my weight assuming I'd be preggers any time anyway. 2 years after realizing that it wasn't happening and weighing in at 145, I decided to step up to take care of myself. Lost just over 25 lbs, and a whole lotta boob!! lol After spending much of my life very happy with a nice full boob, I never thought I'd have deflated sad boobs. I "measure" at a 34 B, but most of my Victoria's Secret bras are 34 C's (with a little room). When I started losing the weight I'd kinda throw around the idea of getting my boobs done to my hubby, but he never took me seriously. Back in December, with the stress of the holidays and whatnot my weight got down to 112 and my boobs even smaller! I went to VS to get measured (first time for actual measurement since weight loss) and she told me I was a 34 B. B, like boy. I literally went home and cried. After being DD 2 years prior, hearing I was B was, well, painful. I told my hubby that day that I had it, that was it. I'm getting a boob job so let's plan it within the next year. If I can't have another baby, then I'm going to get twins! :)

We originally thought I'd be able to do it by April, but one thing led to another and we couldn't. Monday April 9 I had a consultation with my Dr. My friend had a procedure with him last year, and another friend of mine had a BA with him about 7 years ago. He has an excellent reputation for his work and after my research on him I felt confident in choosing him. Some people may think this is a bad thing, but I did not have any consultations with any other Dr's. I didn't have any problems nor did I feel uncomfortable about my choice, so I didn't feel the need to see another Dr. We originally booked my BA for May 31, which would have been this Thursday. But due to some circumstances I had to push back to June 14th. That's now 2 weeks away and I am feeling completely unprepared!

I just became aware of these blogs 2 days ago and have been obsessed with reading them! I never thought in a million years that I would ever want to look at photos of other women's breasts so much! lol I am completely torn on size. At my consultation I told them what I seem to read on here more often than not, that I want to be a "full C". So they suggested the most common size (apparently), a 350 cc. When I went in that day I had no clue what cc's were what. My Dr took all the necessary measurements and noted that my breasts are uneven and I'd need an implant 25 cc's larger for my left breast to make them "even". I tried on the sports bra with a 250 cc and a 350 cc to give me an idea of size, and definitely agreed the 350 looked better. Hubby was with me and couldn't have agreed more, lol. I had him take a photo for me. We also discussed saline & silicone, and desiring the more "natural" looking boob I opted to go for silicone. But I am not sure what type (profile, etc). I was told I am not a candidate to go through the armpit, it will either be nipple or at crease. To be honest I am still unclear where my incision is going to be and this makes me nervous. I was also told that due to the shape of my boobs that my implants will be dual plane - 1/2 under muscle, 1/2 over.

After leaving my appt and obsessing over my photo, I started to worry that the 350's were going to be too big on me. I don't want to look "over the top" or fake. I just want nice, full boobies. I definitely don't want to be back to DD's. Now that I'm smaller I think that might look rather large and ridiculous on me. I've never been a cleavage bearing "Hi here's my boobies" type girl. I showed my mom the pic of me in the sports bra with the sizers, and she told me they were too big and will make me look fat. Of course that has been eating away at me and I'm worried about that as well. I worry about wearing looser tops and my boobs sticking out too much making me look heavier. Or having to buy larger sizes to accommodate my boobs. (Finally being able to buy smalls or xs in clothes, it will really mess with my head to buy larger size clothes!)

I had my pre-op appt Tues May 22. Hubby wasn't available to go, so I had a girlfriend go with me. She had hers done about 8 years ago (by a diff dr), and has either 400 or 425 cc's. But she's put on weight and they are larger than they were to begin with, so she advised me not to go too big. To be honest I was so obsessed and stressed about size that I forgot most of what was said to me at my appt. I asked to try on sizers again, and explained I was worried about going too big. I chose to bring it down a notch and try 325's, as well as the 350's again. Of course the girls at my Dr's keep suggesting the 350's, giving me schpiel that most girls wish they went larger, yada yada. The the Dr came in and asked to see my boobs again. Took a glance, then decided if I do the 350's, that the left needs 380 (previously it was 375)!! Ok, this freaked me out! 30 cc's different in my boobs?! I'm afraid I'm going to have one freakishly larger boob than the other when this is done! I mean, I trust my Dr and I know he is amazing with his work! But a 380 cc?! I can't wrap my mind around it. That seems so big!! I did ask if when the implants are actually inside if how they were appearing to me in the sports bra was representative of how they will actually look, or will they be larger/smaller. Since I am doing silcone dual plane implants, she said if anything the might appear about 10% smaller. So, I opted for the 350/380 size. However after leaving my pre-op I have been OBSESSED with the size.

I called the next day to ask if I could come back in to try on sizers again. I went back last Friday, May 25th. This time I took my other girlfriend who is a previous patient of my Dr. They didn't have sizers with a 30 cc difference, so I tried on 325 (right) with a 350 (left), and then a 350 (right) with a 375 (left). I thought that maybe the sports bra was throwing me off from before since it was so big and bulky, so this time I brought a bikini top and a tank top so see how they looked (although I had to keep sports bra on to keep sizers in, but I tucked in best I could). I went back & forth, and back & forth, and back & forth between the two size sets. I feel the 325 is more natural looking and not over the top, and the 350 is just a little more umph. I know it seems silly to obsess over 25 cc difference, it's not like I'm torn between 350 & 450. I worry about the 25 cc's being the difference between a small and a medium in a shirt. The again I worry that once the implants have settled & dropped that I might feel the 325's are too small! I definitely don't want them to look any smaller than the 325 did. But then again I don't want to be "that girl" witht he big 'ol fake boobs in a bikini top. And right when I think I've decided on one size, I start second guessing myself. Then there's that whole 380 cc issue as well. I understand it's to make them look even, but say they were even there's no way I'd want 380's. That just seems too big to me. After an hour of trying on and discussion with my friend, she convinced me I could "rock" the larger size so I stayed with the 350/380 choice I had previously made. The pics I've posted are from that day. The 2 sizes in a bikini top, and then in a tank.

But here I sit, obsessing. Looking at numerous photos of boobs online. Trying to find anyone with my cc combo. I do find that when I "like " a pair, they tend to be 350 cc's. But they also seem to be on girls starting out at an A cup, and I'm starting with more than that.

On top of all of that, I feel so unprepared!! I need to get my prescriptions filled still. But I have been reading about some herbal stuff some have taken prior to surgery to prevent bruising. I have been told not to take anything, vitamins included, 2 weeks prior to surgery so how can these girls have taken these herbs? I feel like I'm making a mistake NOT taking them. Also I have noticed may saying they took their anti-nausea meds prior to surgery. I asked the girl about this at my pre-op and she told me not to and that it wasn't necessary. Ok, I am so sensitive to nausea & motion sickness so now this has me worried! Why can't I take my anti-nausea meds before surgery?? I just feel at a complete loss for things I need. I did buy some Fruit of Loom front closing sports bras, like the kind they had me try on, but I didn't think about wire free bras and now I'm worried about not having those. I don't want to be stuck in ugly sports bras! lol I just feel way in over my head right now. It just seems some Dr's prepared their patients more than mine did.

Anyway, this is now FOREVER long and for that I apologize! This has actually been a little thereputic! lol I must get to bed. But as for now, I am "Torn On Size" and way overly obsessing about it. If only I knew what the outcome would give me! Oh, which reminds me, I saw on a website this 3d machine by Axis Three that can simulate what you'd like in different size implants. There is a Dr in Newport Beach that has this machine and I'm tempted to schedule a consultation with him just to use the machine! lol Ok, off to bed.