Full Arm Tattoo, Major Regret, Now What to Do...? - Box Hill, Australia

As many of you know, my story is a little different to some of yours... I too experienced major tattoo regret in my initial stages only to then embrace, and actually love my tattoo... Today was the final exemplication of that love by extending on the work to encompass most of my arm. I want to say, I love my tattoo today more than ever. I am at peace with everything about it. Most importantly I want everyone to know that time, acceptance and appreciation can actually become not just a path to loving your tattoo, but to loving yourself... There are so many things we hate about ourselves that we can't change. Yet we so often neglect to simply change "that" we hate what we can't change... I've posted some pictures of today's work, and as my story ends here, I can only hope this is where some of your stories begin. Love.

Hi All,

So I thought it was definitely time I updated my progress… It’s been a life altering experience to say the least, both physical and mental, but what a ride! Obviously you’ll see by my past comments that things started out very rough, I went through some severe issues of regret, to the point of thinking that I absolutely hated this tattoo and wanted it removed…

I’m happy to say that I am probably more in love with my tattoo now than I ever thought I would have been. To the point that I’ve even booked in to have more done to it!! Is it perfect, no… is it exactly how I want it to be, no… but has it taken me on one of the most rewarding adventures of self-discovery I’ve ever been on, YES! I look at my arm most days and think, “Gee I’d like to change that part”, or “I wish I’d used a different colour there”... and you know what the irony is? Every single day, it’s a different colour I think of, or a different pattern…!! That’s just how we are, that’s basic human nature at play… and the irony is quite simply, tattoos are one of the only things in life you just can’t change as soon as you change your mind… I mentioned din an earlier post that I equate it to the whole disposable society, or too many options thing… it really is that case… I mean ask yourself, do you know anyone in the world that has worn the same clothes, lived in the same house, and owned the same car FOREVER???!! No way!! We change, our tastes change, we want things to be different, and so we should, it’s our choice…!

What I have learnt and am totally certain of now is this: In order to be a tattooed person, you need to be able to surrender perfection, idealism and the ability to change at a whim. Not for every aspect of life, but at least for the aspect of getting a permanent body alternation… But, that being said, if you want to get your tattoo changed or removed, then you can, that’s one of the gifts of modern technology. Is it expensive?, yes!, does it take a long time?, yes! But nothing that was every good was easy!!

Another thing I have learnt through this journey is we are our own worst enemies in some cases… Initially, I fell into the worst state of depression with this tattoo, simply out of the way I was telling myself what had happened. “I had destroyed my body”, “I didn’t think about it long enough”, “I didn’t think about the design long enough”, “I let the artist do what they wanted”, “I got it where too many people could see it”… and a million other things. The main problem… listen to how I was talking to myself! How could I ever feel better about myself when every minute I was trying to tell myself how hopeless I was, how much I failed, and how much I let myself down? The other thing we do, is we look ourselves indoors in this slum so no one can tell us any different…! As soon as I stepped outside, I actually felt better about my tattoo, I remembered why I got it, why I wanted it for so long, and what it actually meant to me… It’s also worth mentioning that I probably wouldn’t have ever stepped back outside if it wasn’t for this community and the shared stories and positive comments from everyone… it really changed my perspective on things.

If there’s a single piece of advice I can give to anyone going through regret or remorse, its two things: Time and Perspective. Give yourself some time to get used to your new look, and allow your mind to move away from the negative perspective we can’t help but apply to the issue. I get so many comments on my tattoo, so many compliments, and so many people tell me that it’s something they’ve never seen before. When I first looked at it, I hated it because I thought it was something no one had ever seen before!! But then I had to remember why I got it in the first place… another thing we have a really bad habit of forgetting whilst in this state of depression.

Anyway, my point is, I’m now at a really good place where I not only love my tattoo, but I am proud of it, and thankful for it simply for what it has given me. I’m going to get more work done on it, which I will inevitable regret for a while, and I’ll want to change, and I’ll grow to love!! One day I may get it all lazered off, or maybe just some of it so I can make some changes, or I may leave it exactly how it is forever and get other parts of my body tattooed? Who knows!!

Regardless, it’s all part of the journey… I hope that for some, your journey is one of getting to love your body art, and I hope for the others, that your removal journey is smooth, fast and cost effective. With this new Picoway laser on the market now, I think we’ll see even better results than before…

One thing I do want to advise, more than anything, if you have found this forum and this post, and got your tattoo in the past 30 days… wait… don’t panic… don’t hide your tattoo, and for the love of God, DON’T STAY INDOORS WITH ONLY YOURSELF. Take your tattoo out to meet people, show it off, remember why you got it, and remember YOU ARE STILL YOU!! It could turn out that you fall in love with your art given half a chance, and if you don’t… then you do have the power to get it removed, or covered, or whatever you like.

Just don’t hate yourself, don’t bash yourself mentally and don’t feel that this has in anyway had any effect on your life, your goals, or your dreams… everything will be ok.

Much love…

So as with everything, there are ups and downs... not everything is great all of the time. Today hasn't been the best day ever, thats for sure. I wouldn't say that Ive fallen into a hole of depression, but its definitely been a day of ups and downs...

I guess the good news for all of us today is that the new Picoway laser has been approved by the FDA of America, and will no doubt be on the uptake for the rest of the world early next year. This laser is meant to be yet another improvement on the Picosure, and early tests have in some cases shown clearances in about half the time of the Picosure. I guess for some, that could mean full clearances in under 10 treatments!! It truly is such a wonderful time to be alive...

Ive just been obsessing again, getting into the details of my tattoo, running through the day I got it over and over again, thinking about how happy and excited I was on the way to the studio thinking "its finally going to happen"... then thinking about all the things I should have done before to make sure I could have lived with my design for the rest of my life!! Im convinced Im just that much of an indecisive perfectionists that no tattoo that I can see all the time would ever meet my satisfaction... I just should have never got one on my arm I think is the simple answer...

Its really strange, there were moments a couple dog days ago when I was like... "Wow, Im actually at least perfectly content with this tattoo, and so what if its not perfect" all the time in the back of my mind I was hoping I could keep that train of thought... but then a moment of boredom sets in or a thought enters your mind and it just spirals out of control... I guess you just have to train yourself to better control those thoughts...

I don't think Ive told any of you this yet, but I am a practitioner of Brazillian Jiu Jitsu,,, One of the things I notice ever since this big change is my dedication to my art of BJJ has increased ten fold. Im not sure exactly why, but Im guessing its because I want to prove that my mind and my drive is what is the true essence of myself, and not the outer shell Im encased in. I now for sure Im going to dominate next years competitions schedule because Im truing harder than I ever have before!!

Having a hobby or an ideal to dedicate yourself to is also another fantastic help in this mental anguish, its definitely helping me... Anyway, Im going to keep it short today so as not to make this too gloomy. I'll check back in soon and hopefully am feeling bright and cheery again...

Peace out folks. xx