Botched Lower Lid and Cheek Surgery

I need help. I am dealing with the worst nightmare of my life which started 9 years ago.
I had bags removed from my lower lids. The under eye area looked great, but my lower lids were pulled down. My almond eyes became round eyes.
To fix it I went to another surgeon who suggested a cheek lift to give my eyes back the almond look.
God, I wish I had nothing done!! Now, my eyebrows, at the outer corners are pulled down and inward. The outer corner of my upper eye lids are pulled down. The corner of my eyes are pulled down and my lower lids are still droopy and rounded.
The under eye area is now all lumpy. I had no idea he was going to put fat back under my eyes!! Now, I don't have an under eye circle anymore...it's more like an under eye square, with the outer and inner area lower than the middle. I have vertical fat pouches extending downward from the outer edges of my eyes. I have fat also in the inner circle of my under eye area, and then its hollow in the center. Plus, some of my cheek fat is in the lower parts of my under eye area and when I smile it bags up horribly.
The fat placement under my eyes is so unnatural looking and nothing close to the natural shape of my under eye area. He put the fat back in a way it never was before.
My cheeks, they are all but gone! It looks like he moved my outer cheeks inward. The sides of my cheeks are gone and so is the contour of my face. I now have fat pouches directly under my eyes in the center of my fact and that is all the fullness I have left from my cheeks. My cheeks are hollow underneath now.  My cheeks look so sunken in now.
The upper middle part of my cheeks look like I have "cheek on top of cheek".. I don't know another to explain it. On top of that, with how he put my outer cheeks inward, and pulled them into almost the middle of my face..I have barely no cheek "apple" left.
He has made my face flat, the cheek fat goes straight across the upper part of my cheeks, making my cheeks look horizontal. My eyes are droopy and sad looking, and the unevenness under my eyes is so embarrassing...and the unnatural shape of my cheeks...well... I barely go out in public.
For the past 9 years I have worn tinted non prescription glasses to hide what has been done. But, they can't hide my cheeks. I deal with sadness all the time, some days I am better than other but it never goes away completely. Some days I am absolutely mortified when I look in the mirror.
I am so embarrassed about how I look, especially without my glasses on, that I don't even go for my MRI's for MS. I just can't handle the fact of taking of my glasses for the MRI and letting them see me like this.
I am so incredibly embarrassed by how I look now. My self esteem has plundered, and it is on my mind everyday. I hate looking in the mirror and dread it every day when I have to do my hair and makeup. My heart breaks every time I see myself. I always have to get myself mentally prepared for it before hand.
I don't look like myself anymore. He has made me look older and haggard, and the older I get, the worse it gets. I can't believe this happened. I would never have asked to look like this. I use to be so outgoing and confident...I now feel like my life has stopped and I'm just going through the motions. I just want this horrible nightmare to end.