14 Yr Old Saline Sub-muscular Implants - Want Them Out!

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I have had my implants for almost 14 years and...

I have had my implants for almost 14 years and have decided I no longer want them. I always planned on getting them replaced after having kids, but have decided to explant for health reasons. I haven't felt great for about 2 years now and have strange symptoms and never attributed them to my implants until now. I have one child and breastfed for almost 2 years. I think the implants still look good but I am done with them and want to go back to my natural self. I was about an A cup before implants and hope I can at least be close to that afterwards, though I weigh less now than I did when I got them. It has helped me a lot to read other women's stories on here and I hope to pay it forward with my story. Lots of love to all you ladies.

Almost 3 weeks until removal!

I'm trying not to think about the upcoming surgery too much because I don't want to be worrying about it. My biggest concern is being under general anesthesia for a few hours. I was told the surgery will take 3-3.5 hours to complete since I am having the capsules removed. The PS said she gets out as much as she can (I am not having en bloc though she does perform them). Since my implants are saline I don't think it's necessary to do the en bloc but I know there are mixed opinions on that. I'm also worried about having muscle spasms after and wondering how long it will be before I can safely pick up my 3 yr old. I just want this all to be behind me so I can hopefully get back to better health and start trying for a second child. Did any of you ladies conceive after getting implants removed and if so, how long did you wait before trying? The PS said I should wait at least 6 months for my breasts to heal up, and that I may have problems breastfeeding in the future if scar tissue builds up! That I was not prepared to hear but I guess it's a possible risk of removing the capsule. Who knew? Had I known all of the things at 22 that I know now, I never would have gotten these put in. It's such a shame that we were all misinformed, but we can only go forward and hopefully save other women from making the same mistake. Our health isn't worth having bigger breasts.

Three weeks until explant day!

I have been having anxiety thinking about going under general anesthesia and then drains and pain. :(. I ordered two Champion zip front sports bras online which will hopefully be a good size. I don't know what they will give me in the hospital so I'm playing it safe. Also, trying to figure out what vitamins and supplements, if any, I should purchase for after surgery. I will be on antibiotics for a full week so I'm wondering now about probiotics. I've also been trying to put on a few more pounds but it's hard to do that while eating healthy. I hadn't thought too much about what I will look like after but that's starting to worry me now too. Will the scars heal quickly? Will the holes from the drains be gross and leave scars? I am so grossed out by the thought of the drains. I'm worried I will faint or vomit when I see them. Just feeling a little overwhelmed and scared. I also want to make sure I stay healthy before the surgery so I'm not going to be heading out for any social events. Is that extreme?
This is my venting session for the week, thanks for listening. :)

Pre-Op appt tomorrow!

My pre-op appt is tomorrow and I'm nervous and excited at the same time. I still am unclear as to whether or not I have to meet with an anesthesiologist before the surgery. The hospital called me a few days ago and I couldn't talk at the time and they never called back! I tried calling them a few times but only got to preregister.
On another note, I purchased some front zip bras and will be returning the Champion bras to target. I found some Jockey front zip bras online and these look and feel much more comfortable. The size small will be too tight around the ribs so I am keeping the medium and large as both of those look like they will work. I also got some great advice about some other bras and may purchase those after if these don't work.
I took some photos today of my boobs and I am looking forward to becoming my natural self again. Also hoping some of these health issues will go away soon after removing them. I am still fatigued and actually felt very dizzy last night just sitting down scrolling through my phone. Could have been dehydration but who knows. I would love to stop obsessing and not have so much anxiety about the surgery. Sometimes I feel like crying just thinking about it, and it has nothing to do with my bust size going down. I am truly terrified of the recovery after getting the capsules removed. Can't wait to be free of these toxic bags that are dragging me down!

Pics I forgot to add!


Pre-Op was today!

The appointment went well. My PS said the surgery will take around 3 hours! That seems like a super long time. She will be removing the capsules en bloc style most likely and will get as much of the capsule out as she can. She said if there is any capsule left that she can't safely remove, she will scrape the inside layer of it where the silicone implant shell was touching. She did say that my upper pole area looks like it will stay fuller, but my implants have "bottomed out" some so there will be some looser skin under the nipples on the lower part of the breasts. She doesn't think I will end up needing a lift. She also said future breastfeeding issues could arise as a result of the surgery. I'm really hoping I don't end up with a lot of saggy skin underneath (though I did breastfeed for almost 2 years) but that is the least of my worries. I'm just wishing for a smooth and successful surgery that ends well. Does anyone think that 3 hours is a long time?

Day before surgery!!!

I am freaking out. I have been keeping myself busy all day cleaning the house and doing laundry. I just got the call from the hospital that I need to be there at 6:30am and the surgery is at 8:30am. This is good because it gives me less time to freak out about it. My anxiety level is at an all time high and I just hope I can sleep tonight. It's about an hour drive to the hospital and I will be showering in the morning so that means I have to get up at around 4:30am!
I hope to get to bed early and sleep well before this. Things on my mind causing the anxiety are: GA and intubation, drains, and the fact that it's a 3 hour long surgery. I hope they can give me something for anxiety there. I also have a piercing I need to remove tonight and that may be a challenge, as I have never been able to take it out. I haven't eaten much today due to nerves, but I've been trying to drink more water than usual, as I tend to wake up so thirsty and I won't be able to drink or eat anything after midnight. So that's it right now, I'm about to go clean the floors and hopefully keep my mind off of everything.

They are OUT!

The surgery went well and took just over 2 hours. My PS said (from what I can remember) that the capsules came out easily except for in one small area. I believe she did en bloc but I will get more info tomorrow at my post-op appt.
I'm in a little bit of pain underneath where the incisions are, but the most pain honestly is at the top of my throat from the intubation. It is raw and feels like I have bad strep throat! Hopefully this will be better soon because I'm trying to drink a lot of fluids, mainly water, and every sip hurts. I also have a little chest congestion now that I didn't have going in. I will post more tomorrow and hopefully with pictures. Not much to see right now except for the drains and I do look extremely flat under the corset they put me in. I will try to post pictures if I can get any tomorrow. Thank you all for your support and love. :)

First post-op visit

I am feeling OK except for my sore throat from the intubation. Under my breasts hurts where the incisions are. My PS didn't end up taking them out "en bloc" because the capsules were very very thin. She got most of the capsules out and only a little bit was sticking to my chest wall that she wasn't able to remove. She said the fluid inside the implants was clear and the valves were intact. I don't have any pictures yet to post because I have to leave the corset on until Monday at my next post-op visit. I will say that I look flatter than I did before I got the implants put in. I know they are squished right now but it's not looking to promising. Hopefully after time they will fluff out abbot, but I don't want to get my expectations too high. I did breastfeed for almost 2 years and I weighed about 15 lbs more when I got implants so those two things may have something to do with it.

Feeling stiffer today

I think I got a bit more sleep last night than the night before. My husband is out doing a grocery run and picking up a stool softener for me since that hasn't happened for a few days now. I tried prune Juice but probably should have warmed it up to get its full benefits. The drains are showing a little blood still, some is clotted, and also some yellowish fluid. Sorry if that's too gross to write about, I'm just trying to be thorough. I tried milking the drains like my PS did yesterday but it doesn't seem to be working when I try to. Feeling a lot stiffer today than yesterday and perhaps I overdid it yesterday by not sitting down enough to rest. I have been on the couch for most of the day today. I am feeling a little woozy at times and I don't know if it's the GA in my system still or the Vicodin. I am also on an antibiotic for a week. I had some pineapple yesterday and today. I also had some dandelion root tea last night. I don't know when I will start my Omega 3s again and then also add in CoQ10 that I purchased. Did any of you ladies start any supplements after surgery, and if so, how long did you wait to start taking them?
Thanks :)

Very tired today

I slept in until 10:30 this morning and I'm still feeling tired. Hopefully this is normal, as I feel I have had more energy than this other days. I still haven't taken the corset off, only peeked inside again last night. I can't wait to have these drains out and get to shower. I'm wondering if I will be able to reach my arms up to wash my hair without it hurting. I am hoping to take pictures tomorrow once the corset is off. Other than feeling really drained today I don't have much else to report besides I wish I could be off the pain meds and antibiotics.

2nd post-op drains out

I have to say, this was a horrible experience. The drains were held up with a large portion of tape on my stomach, which over the past few days had caused a bloody sore underneath the tape on the left side right where the drain bulb was being held in place. Taking the tape off of everywhere was a nightmare. My skin was bright red and sensitive and the pulling off of the tape both on my stomach and underneath my armpits and the sides of my breasts was excruciating. The right drain was pulled with just a little bit of pain which is what I was expecting for the left side too. It hurt so badly when she pulled he left one. I was lying on the chair feeling vulnerable and exposed, while being in an incredible amount of pain during most of this processes. I did stop the Vicodin last night and now I wish I hadn't. I am going to start it up again as soon as I get back now. Hopefully I am not scaring anyone here, but it was a terrible time for me getting the tape and drains removed. Luckily my husband was in the car with out daughter waiting so he didn't have to see me go through that. I can't wait to get back to the house now and take some pain meds and have lunch and then rest. This took a lot out of me. :(
I will take photos later before I take my first shower.

Post-op photos

Here are the photos I took last night before taking my first shower as the natural me. I wanted to cry as I looked at myself in the mirror, because I wish I had never put those terrible foreign objects in my body. I can't believe how concave the upper portion of my chest is and I was not expecting this because my PS said she didn't think I would have an issue with that. I really hope things even out over time because I don't know that I will ever feel comfortable being topless in front of my husband again and that saddens me. He told me it doesn't matter to him what I look like, but it matters to me. I hope over time I can learn to accept myself after doing this to my body. I know it was best for me to get them out and I would never get implants again, I am just really feeling down at how sad my poor breasts look. This was definitely a learning experience and I learned my lesson the hard way. Also, they appear to have more volume in the photos.

More photos

One of the photos I posted before it should say "sore where tape peeled my skin off" not that "I" peeled it off.

Feeling tired and depressed

Today I feel gross with no energy. Could the antibiotic I've been on for a week be causing this because it's interfering with digestion and wiping out the good gut bacteria? I have one more pill left and then I'm done, and I plan on getting some probiotics started tomorrow. I feel really down on myself today. I feel underweight and sickly looking. There is no joy when I look at myself in the mirror. One could say I'm depressed, as this year has been quite rough with a few losses of loved ones and it seems to be getting harder with the holidays coming up. I thought I would be feeling better after having the implants out but unfortunately that hasn't happened yet. I'm trying so hard to get my health in order and this now feels like a setback. I need to put some healthy weight on and in a few weeks try to detox from the implants. Could my body be trying to detox now or is it the antibiotic that's messing with me? I know I need to give it some time, but I'm wondering if anyone else felt worse physically/mentally before they felt better?
Any positive input would be very much appreciated. Thanks

Day after 2nd post-op appt.

I had my second post-op appointment yesterday and my PS said everything looked good. She seemed surprised that I haven't had to take anything for pain the past week. I was told I can go without the sports bra to sleep and just wear it the rest of the day. Also, I asked about side sleeping and she said if it feels comfortable then it's fine. Last night was amazing getting to finally sleep on my sides again. I was switching sides (something I normally do) and sleeping on my back too. It was so nice! :)
The past two days my knees have been achy and my lower back sore, so I'm really going to try to flush my system with lots of water today because I don't think I've been drinking as much as I should. I have also been sweating the last few nights sleeping. I feel pretty good right now but am going to take it easy today since yesterday I didn't rest very much.
As far as aesthetics go, I am still dealing with the damage from the tape, though it looks much better. My left breast has more tissue than the right and this was the case before implants too. I never thought it was that noticeable before implants but it certainly is now. Also, my nipples seem to be permanently hard. Has anyone else noticed this? At what point did they go back to relaxing? It is very cold here but I don't think that's what's causing them to shrivel up. It will be nice to see them normal at some point because they just look shriveled and unhappy. I let my husband take a peek down my bra the other day but that was it. I'm not comfortable being topless in front of him yet and I feel badly but that's just how it is. Unless they plump up a little bit, I really don't ever foresee doing anything or being seen without a bra on.

Feeling better

I went out yesterday for the first time by myself and did some Christmas shopping. I was out for 3 hours and didn't feel tired at all until after dinner when I just needed to plop on the couch. I didn't rest on the couch at all yesterday during the day, so today I'm hoping to clock some time in front of the tv to make up for it. I don't think I overdid it or anything, I'm guessing though that it's probably good to still be resting somewhat.
I took a quick look in the bra section of TJMaxx and didn't see ANYTHING in my size except for some sports bras. There was literally no "A" section at all. I can't wait to go to a bigger department store to find some nice comfy bras once the scars are healed. So I'm just rambling now but I will post some photos from the other night.

Photo update

I took these photos last night after my shower before bed.

Post-Op visit yesterday

Yesterday I had my fourth post-op visit at just past the 3 week mark. My PS said things are looking good and In two weeks there will be no restrictions. I am to start massaging the scars daily with either vitamin E oil, coconut oil or aquaphor. Last night I massages the scars in the shower with a natural body wash I have and will continue to do that along with applying either coconut oil or aquaphor. I started light massage of my breasts a few days ago and forgot to ask her if that's okay to do, but I'm guessing as long as it feels okay it's fine. I'm really hoping for some fluffing to start with the new year. My PS didn't seem to think they will fill in when I asked.
On another note, I can't help but noticing all of the larger breasted women I know now, as I never really paid attention to anyone's chest when I had implants. Now it's all I notice and it bothers me that I notice that now. I guess we all want what we don't have though. Postings some photos from today.

Feeling somewhat better.

Hello all of you lovely ladies! I hope the New Year is bringing you health and happiness, and for those of you thinking about explant, some clarity to your decision. I have been reflecting back to the month of September when I really started thinking about getting an explant. At the time, I had no idea that my fatigue, joint pain and other strange health issues could be from my implants, I simply just wanted them removed without replacement, which had never been my plan. I had a very vivid dream about having a surgery where I was looking down at myself lying on a surgery table, my chest exposed and marking from marker for surgery and my chest looking smaller. There were no feelings of anxiety or fear, just a calmness and positivity about the whole thing. I am a spiritual person and I truly feel this dream was sent to me to assure me this is what needed to be done. It wasn't until after that when I started googling about getting implants removed that I came across breast implant illness and a lightbulb came on. At that point all I could think about was getting them removed and I put it into motion. Not once have I doubted my decision to remove them or wondered if it was the right thing to do, I know it was. I was so happy to find this site and other women who share the same situation who can relate and offer support. I still have joint pain and feel tired but I'm hoping with time and detoxing efforts those symptoms will go away. I seem to be losing a little less hair in the shower right now and I feel like my mental clarity has improved somewhat.
Here are some photos I took the other night. Fingers crossed for fluffing soon! :)

5 weeks post surgery

I know I just updated a few days ago but I want to post photos for each week to the date so I'm putting a few new ones from today. They look pretty much the same but maybe just a tad fuller (only in the photos do they look this way). I have been lifting my toddler since Monday and have now hurt my lower back which happens from time to time if I don't lift correctly with my legs. Hoping his subsides soon so I can start to do some light weightlifting, as my PS told me I am cleared to do whatever now as long as it feels okay. I'm going to start making more bone broth again as I haven't done so in a few weeks and I think it's beneficial to healing. I'm not pushing too hard with the detoxing, just the occasional cup of detox tea and some spirulina mixed in a protein shake a few times each week.

6 weeks later

Just wanted to document photos for the 6 week mark. I haven't looked for any new bras yet but I would like to soon. Still waiting to see how many changes there are. Where the crease was with implants may be lower than my natural crease and this looks more noticeable while flexing the pectorals.
We will see. No flexing pics just yet. ;)

Owning it!

Hi Ladies, I just wanted to post an update since I haven't in awhile. I will hopefully be posting pics of me soon once some bras I ordered finally get here in the mail. I feel okay overall and I'm still learning to own what I've been blessed with. I am trying to be kinder to myself and I don't think about breasts as often as I had been the first month and a half post explant. The other night I was thinking about all of the natural ladies in the world who own what they have after watching the latest episode of Bachelor. One woman on there ROCKS her small chest and I love it! So this in turn made me want to find some photos of naturally small breasted women who own and are proud of what they have.

Almost 3 months post explant

I need new bras that fit. I ordered a bunch from Aerie but most of them aren't gonna work. I really need to get out to Macy's or something and try them on. I need padding!!! I'm tired of looking flat and like a boy with no bra and I'm so over wearing the padded sports bra everyday which only does a little for me. I also need support because I notice my nipples sagging in the morning or if I'm not wearing the sports bra. This is worse than in high school. I feel so vulnerable with no padding and it's sad. I'm embarrassed to be in front of my husband without the padded sports bra. He tells me he doesn't mind the size change but I don't know if I believe that. We have other things to work on and maybe once those are addressed I will feel comfortable going topless in front of him again. A woman needs to feel cherished, desired, like she matters and occasionally wined and dined and I haven't experienced any of those things in a long time. Where's the romance? A marriage needs to be nurtured and not neglected. I just don't feel comfortable topless in front of him, and a big reason for it is because I have been put on the back burner for a long time. Work always seems to come first, his priorities, his time, him, him, him. I haven't felt special in a long time. Maybe if I was getting more attention from him and more advances from him, or any advances, I would be more comfortable. But I'm not, and I don't know what's going to change that. Sorry for the depressing rant, I am just at my wits end.
Any thoughts?

4 months post explant

Hi Ladies, I haven't updated in awhile but here are a few new pics. Not much has changed except I'm starting to feel more comfortable in my own skin. I found a bra by Warners that almost fits right in a 34A, but the cups are a little close together to be a perfect fit. I just looked at a review of someone who just got implants at age 20. She was beautiful before implants but was very self critical about her small natural breasts, which to me were beautiful. She even called them "so ugly" which they weren't. It brought me back to when I got implants and I still wish I had never messed with what God blessed me with. I felt like writing to this girl to tell her she was perfect before and she may live to regret her decision, but I decided not to write anything because it will most likely fall on deaf ears. I wish these young girls, even women who want to change after kids, would look deeper inside and realize we are more than our breast size. Of course, I still wish I had a little more up top than I do, but it so doesn't matter. I am enough and we need to remind ourselves that we are enough each and every day. We are still given the wrong message from many sources about how we should look, when being healthy and treating our bodies like the temples that they are is what we should be focused on. I wish breast implants were banned once and for all for the toxic bags that they are. I'm still trying to gently detox all of the nasty chemicals that were fermenting in my body for so long around my implants. What a waste of energy, money and my precious time those implants were. I'm so glad they're out and I'm trying to get back to the health I once had. It's a long journey and a tough lesson, but hopefully some women will read our stories and decide to not get implants. Much love to all of you ladies.

5 Months after explant

Hi Ladies, it's been just over 5 months now since my explant surgery. Overall I'm feeling about the same health-wise. My healthy eating had slipped a little bit from time to time, but overall I'm still keeping unhealthy foods out. I am feeling a lot better now emotionally about my tiny size and I don't dwell on it nearly as much now. Of course I still wish they would fluff, but they do seem to look a little bigger before my cycle. The photos I've included were taken right before my cycle, so it may appear like they've fluffed but it's just hormonal. My crease lines have raised up a bit and the scars are fading slowly but surely. The only bras I've found so far that fit at all are one kind by Warners. I still want to look in Victoria's Secret. I hope all of you ladies are doing well, and anyone looking to explant should go for it!
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