21 Year Old, 525CC, and Now Flat Chested - Bluffton, SC

I thought about implants since I was 7. I use to put play-doh on my barbies and stuff my bra with tube socks. I promised my mom I wouldn't get implants till I was 21, I went to my PS on April 10, 2013, and now a year later, after a BA, and capsulectomy, I'm getting my implants removed tomorrow.
I had a capsulectomy on March 25, 2014. My PS said I had grade IV CC, and doing the revision would make it go away, so of course I took off work, went in for surgery, and felt so much better after the scar tissue was gone. A week after my revision, I notice my left breast was red, not just a little red, but like a tomato. And hard. So hard that I would touch it and be in tears. So after dealing with this for 4 days, I went and saw my physician, he started me on an antibiotic, Septra. Four days after starting the antibiotic, my incision started leaking. I went to see my doctor ASAP, and he drained it for about an hour, getting 75cc of fluid. It drained for about 4 days before I had a fever. I went to the ER. They scheduled me an appointment to see a general surgery doctor. I saw him yesterday on the 14th of April, and I go in for a pre-op today, and removal tomorrow. My implant has been exposed for almost a week. I called my plastic surgeon panicked, scared, sad, depressed, but he wasn't there! I talked to his partner, and his suggestion was to take the infected implant out, and leave the R implant!
(I'm in the military, my plastic surgeon is in South Carolina, and I'm in Jacksonville, fl.)
I'm devastated. I loved having my 36DD's. I bought new clothes, bathing suits, everyone said how amazing I looked, I felt amazing, and now I'm going to have nothing again.
Not only is this experience ruining my mentality, but I got a BA thinking "there's no way it'll be me to get an infection." I did everything right, listened to the timeline for working out, I don't drink or smoke, I took my antibiotics.
I've missed so much work because of this. I'm embarrassed and depressed. I don't know what to do. I feel like I would rather have an infection forever and keep my boobs, then be healthy with my implants out.

I got my implants taken out today. I just got home from the hospital. I'm so depressed and down. I've never hated myself more. Or been more depressed. I don't know if I can do this.

It's my second night post removal of my implants. I've never been more uncomfortable or disappointed. I want to wake up and have this all be a dream, and I know it's not. I'm so scared to see what my breasts look like. I'm ashamed. I haven't told any of my friends, and everyone at work wants to know why I'm not on my ship for another few weeks. I don't know what to say when I do have to go back. I left with nice perfect boobies, and came back looking disgusting...I'm sad. Really really sad.