Short and Sweet and Low BMI - Las Vegas, NV

Hi Realselfers,
First, I want to thank all the thousands of people who have posted their stories and share their knowledge. It has been invaluable! It has been feeding my secret obsession for self improvement for years! Hopefully some of you will identify with my story. I'm scheduled for a gastric sleeve in Las Vegas, Nevada, on Nov. 30th!!!! I start my pre-op diet tomorrow ????.
TMI about me: I'm soon to be 42 yr old female, 5'1" and CW 181.2 lbs.... One grown child. I was never skinny but always athletic, exercised a lot, short and stocky with very little body fat. I'm Asian and white. I always got the comments..."Wow, you don't look Japanese! I thought maybe Hawaiian or Philipino" because I've always been thick. My legs were always too big and short to sit cross legged :( or have a thigh gap :( .... My natural weight was always around 125-135 lbs which according to BMI chart is on the high end for my height. While I've always thought I was too fat, when I look back at pictures of myself, I looked good but never appreciated it at the time....

The struggles with my weight started about ten years ago... I went through a painful divorce and internalized everything thinking I wasn't pretty enough or thin enough and that's why my marriage was failing. I starved myself down to 98 lbs due to anxiety and sadness! I think this seriously messed up my metabolism! When I finally came to my senses that I was killing myself I started to eat healthy again. I went up to about 120 lbs and kept my weight there for three or four years. This is where I was when I met my current husband.
Then I started to get sick with my thyroid (hypothyroid) which seriously messed up my hormones. I packed on the pounds despite a fighting it EVERY step of the way!! I ballooned up to my current weight in a matter of 3 years :( despite running every day (5 miles at 5 am) and counting my calories on a high protein low carb diet. The running became more and more difficult, the hypothyroid robbed me of energy and the ability for my body to recover. I started to feel hopeless. Why am I putting SO much effort into watching my diet and pushing myself to exercise if I struggle to lose just five or ten pounds and the second I slip I gain it all back and then some?

Things I've tried to lose weight in the past ten years:
Low calorie diet, low fat/high fiber diet, high protein/low carb diet, sugar free, Atkins diet, South Beach diet, blood type diet, gluten free/dairy free, lectin free, weight watchers, Alli, phentermine, cabbage soup diet, master cleanse diet, paleo diet, whole foods/organic, probiotics and enzymes, low glycemic, raspberry ketones with guggle stones, white kidney bean extract, green tea extract, green coffee bean extract, apple cider vinegar, and many more...

Two years ago I successfully lost about 40 lbs and got down to 145 lbs and kept it off for 6 months after doing two rounds of injectable HCG diet. I was so proud of my self that I treated myself to a mommy makeover with TT and BL (no implants). I had some complications after the procedure that made exercise and diet difficult...I slipped up and gained ALL my weight back in one year!!
I want to get the hell off this roller coaster!

Some people may think that I don't need the sleeve but for those that want to judge, you can't know what some is going through until you've walked a mile in their shoes. I've read lots of reviews of people with hypothyroid that lost weight with the sleeve so I have hope again! I'm not going to give up on myself and just settle... I want to be healthy and active again. I want to run again, do yoga, go swimming, go snowboarding, and mountain biking (all things I used to do 5 yrs ago)....I want to prevent diabetes, high blood pressure, wear and tear on my joints, and heart disease. I'm not looking to become a super model but DO want to feel comfortable in my own body.

May God give me the strength to see this through as I am putting my faith in your hands. This is my last attempt for its all I have left in me... Thank you all for listening!

I will continue to updated on my progress so wish me luck and keep me in your prayers! Pictures soon to come!

As you can see, I was much thinner 5 years ago...

Ugh.... Now on day three of liquid pre-op diet.... Down 2 lbs! Woo hoo! It's been challenging and I'm STARVING! Luckily my doctor will allow a small piece of protein and a green veggie for dinner... I was reading comments from another poster and she compared the liquid diet to asking a crack head to quit crack "cold turkey" BEFORE going to rehab! Lol....I mean isn't this why we are having surgery in the first place?! Anyways.... For those of you struggling with hunger, I highly suggest this additive to your shakes! It's called PGX and it's a konjac root extract with no carbs, fat or sugar, and very few calories. It helps you stay fuller longer and thickens up your shake.