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Regretted my Implants, I wanted them out ASAP - UK, and got them out! : )
ORIGINAL POST
I haven't been feeling right since my BA operation...
daintygirlFebruary 9, 2013
$7,108
I haven't been feeling right since my BA operation 10 days ago (not just physically sick). I thought it might be the drugs. In the booklet I have been given it say's patients can become depressed after surgery etc. However I am feeling like I have made the worse decision of my life and feeling very stupid for it. I didnt know I would freak out by having these objects in me. All I have been doing since the op is crying, looking up explant, on the internet and seeing if any other women have felt like me. Anyone?
I have always hated my lack of chest or so I thought, and thought about implants for years. People around me seem to be having things done left right and centre. I have always had comments from men and women about my small chest. I had the BA as thought it was something I really wanted and had wanted for a long time.
I had discussed a small augmentation with my surgeon as I am a petite, and athletic. I just wanted to fill a bra not necessarily big boobs. I was given one of the sizes that was discussed, but on my frame they seem HUGE. Honestly even in the compression bra they are massive on me. I asked for a natural look, I wanted suttle. On an average size woman I think they may have looked ok in size but on me, there huge!
I feel awful, tearful, ashamed, akward. I did not expect to feel this way. I thought I would be bouncing off the walls with happiness as I would finally be able to fill out clothes. Instead I feel in mourning over my old body which there was nothing wrong with, and utter disgust that I have put these things inside me. I can't even stand my arm brushing past the side of my boob at the moment as they feel hard and horrible. All I want to do is hide them.
All I can think about at the moment is getting them out of me. Has anyone felt like this? Have you had a quick explant? How long will it be before the skin is over stretched? I feel I am a strong person and am shocked i feel this way, and cant believe what a massive expensive and stupid mistake I have made. I really regret the operation. Help, any advice welcome??????
Replies (8)
February 13, 2013
Please give it time. Anesthesia and just going under the knife can do strange things to your emotions.
February 24, 2013
Thank you, thats what my co-ordinator and nurse have said. I was very ill after surgery etc but know its not the anesthesia etc I have made a dreadful mistake and am full of regret. I thought I was doing something I had always wanted, but feel instead of improving myself I have butchered myself when there was nothing wrong with me. I wish I could turn back the clock.
February 14, 2013
Gice yourself time. Depression is not uncommon after cosmetic surgery. The worst thing you can do now is take them out before 3 months. go by.
February 24, 2013
Thank you for the response. I have seen people discuss waiting three months, presumably to give your body time to heal, make sure your not depressed or give yourself time to get used to them? I don't think am depressed. I have paid a fortune for something I thought i wanted fror years to improve myself. There to big I don't like them, I feel terribly ashamed for doing it, and stupid. I miss my old body and being a dainty girl. Ive not seen many people online getting depressed after their BA, just women who are over the moon and delighted, which is I guess how it should be. However it makes me feel even more alone and stupid for feeling the way I do.
February 24, 2013
I am sorry that you are not happy. Even if you do want to take them out, it is a bit early to put your body through another surgery so soon. Wear larger tops and conceal your chest with strategically placed scarves as part of your outfits. And don't feel stupid or bad for feeling the way that you do. Society continually degrades small breasted women. I am a small B and I have never had negative boob comments from men (to my face anyway). But other women have said things to me like "you have no boobs" or "you have small boobs" as if having small breasts were a disease. Just because my breasts don't look like society says they should doens't mean that I don't have any. It is not hard to get sucked into wanting a breast augmentation in such a culture. Western cultures such as the US and UK put way too much emphasis on breasts. African and Asian cultures think it is crazy--for them breasts are for babies to get nourishment from. They don't understand why a bunch of adults fixate on women's breasts like babies!
February 24, 2013
Thanks again for responding. I have been in baggy jumpers since the op, but when I see myself in a bra of naked I get totally freaked out. I do not like what I see. I really wish I didnt feel the way I do. i cant believe that I would prefer my little boobs that I had, but I do. I am a total fitness nut (normally work out everyday) and have prided myself on keeping fit and healthy and making the most of what I had, but boobs was the one thing missing. Over years if anyone has wanted to get to me thats the one thing that did. Ive had men and women make comments about my small boobs. i think it must have got to me over the years. I think other people might look at me now and think i am better proportioned, but I dont care I feel huge I dont feel like me anymore. I thought I would be climbing the walls not being ale to work out whilst recovering. However the thought of going back to the gym and classes I do fills me with fear and anxiety, i do not want people to notice or make comments but fear they will. My boobs are a lot bigger than I wanted or thought they would be so think in gym wear they will be difficult to hide. exhausted from thinking about it all. Your comments are interesting. I think maybe I have been sucked in by western culture and striving for perfection, when I was fine the way I was.
UPDATED FROM daintygirl
Following a visit to my GP and the cosmetic...
daintygirlFebruary 28, 2013
Following a visit to my GP and the cosmetic surgery clinic, I have been told I can have an explant. I feel so relieved, I am emtionally exhausted. I have to wait 3 months from my BA date apparently as I cant have another GA before then which is frustrating, but the fact know I will be able to get them out has made me feel a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. God knows how I will hide these things for a couple of months. It seems a lifetime away. I will probably only just of got my fitness back to a half decent level before I have these things out again. My poor body. Ill be counting the days.........
Replies (0)
UPDATED FROM daintygirl
Feeling really low today. I feel fat and ugly. I...
daintygirlMarch 4, 2013
Feeling really low today. I feel fat and ugly. I still am not allowed to exercise as I am still apparently swollen from the operation. Do I really care, no! I am having the things taken out anyway!. I'm starting to worry about how unfit I will be after the removal and recovery after that, it will be summer by then and ill be hiding myself away so people cant see what I have done to myself. So wish I could turn back the clock, wish I handn't had the BA so badly.
Replies (6)
March 7, 2013
Don't be so hard on yourself. Remember you are getting them out in a couple of months and that's all that matters. Soon this will be just a memory and you will be able to move on with your life and get back into fitness. I feel the same way at times but just need to remind myself that this is something that can be reversed!
March 7, 2013
Thank you, Ive not seen anyone since my BA other than work collegues so had to much time on my hands my mind keeps going into over drive, why did I do it etc? Like you said I just need to accept what i have done, but also that I can sort it, it's just going to take some time. Wow though this is one experience I will want to forget. Thanks again.
March 7, 2013
Oh, your story really is very similar to mine in some respects! I haven't been able to look at myself since I noticed that my cleavage is gone and I have symmastia :-( (I am three months out from BA). I was actually pretty excited about them before I developed the complication and now I cannot stand the look or feel of them. I am NOT waiting the six months even though I was highly encouraged to do so by my PS. My condition will not be fixed without surgery so there is no point to waiting as I am NOT getting revisions. I have stopped exercising weeks ago and I am gaining weight and feel depressed. I also have a trip abroad coming up in a month and I hope I will be healed enough to go! I also wonder what others may notice. No one at worker has noticed my increased size but I am only wearing turtle neck sweaters/baggy clothes. I can understand about the waiting - I only made the decision last week and have to wait 12 days in all to get them out and I am so ready to be done. Good luck to you and hang in there - I do think three months is minimal and if/when you do have the explant you should get back to normal in no time. Oh, also about appreciating what you had/have - I am longingly looking at all of my pictures pre-BA and thinking to myself what a total idiot I have been trying to improve something that was already perfect for ME.. What an expensive/painful life lesson...
March 8, 2013
Hi Bmesoon, thanks for your reply. Im really sory to hear about your complication and experience. It seems odd your PS wanted you to wait 6 months with a complication that wont sort itself out. Bless you, I really feel for you. The 12 days will fly by honey then youll be free from the bl**dy things!
I am trying to stay healthy and think to the future, but its difficult isnt it when you have them stuck in you. You only have to look down to be reminded, well mine feel like rock so cant really forget! I just dont look at mine as I know I will cry, stupid really i need to man up.
I hope no-one where I work has noticed, if I hear anyone say anything it will be the thing that pushes me over the edge! The not exercising has just made me feel ten times worse , I need that release. On the other hand I have been told at the 6 week mark I cam start exercising but I am petrified what people will think or say if they notice I dont think I can hide the things in gym gear. I will be a nervous wreck when I go.
Im hopeful we will both get back to are pre shapes as niether of us have had them long. How I will get through the next months I have no idea. I cant face seeing anyone.
All being well your trip away will be a god send. I hope you can go to, after all this you will deserve a nice break away.
I feel exactly the same as you about the regret, and painful lesson. 6 months of my life ill end up of wasting, because I did something that I didnt need. Probably because of how other people made me think something was wrong with my boobs when there wasnt! I hate myself for doing it.
Feel free to contact me if you having a bad day. Honestly if you can get them out in 12 days that will fly by, I wish I was having them out in 12 days! You will; soon be on the otherside : )
March 8, 2013
Everything you said rings so true!!!! I hope it makes you feel better that you are also not alone in this craziness. I feel like beating my head against the wall sometimes - now I have four days and I can't even start thinking what to fill my time with. I hate how they look/feel/fit in my clothes. I don't know what came over me to make me spend all this money on something that is so disfiguring. On top of that, the skin in my cleavage and over my sternum HURTS. These damned things are pushing my muscles and skin up and off my chest. I have to wear this stupid bra thing because it hurts otherwise - and I paid good money to have myself in this shape :-( The only thing I can say for both of us is that most people are not very observant and they don't know if you are just wearing an extra big bra or what. No one will notice at work, I promise, and even if they might think something is up - they won't say... Also, I do think your surgeon wants to see if you change your mind about them and that is why the three months wait. Mine wanted me to wait to six months so a revision could be done. Well, I am not doing revisions. I am so glad to hear from you and I really do hope things get better for you. I am sure once you have the date set you will feel a ton of relief. Take care of yourself and I will update you how my explatation goes. Lots of hugs.
March 9, 2013
Hey, I can so relate to you! We cant get the money back so Im trying not to think about that its gone (what a waste hey!!!!). Thanks for the reassurance about people not noticing. I do wonder if I am freaking out about people noticing unnecessaily but to me on my little bod (thats getting flabbier by the day) they feel and look huge! Someone would have to be bl**dy rude if they did comment on my fakeys.
Im totally with you on the no revisions front, I just think its a dangerous game once you have one revision, then another...theres no guarantee you or me would feel any happier. I just think I did it, I regret it (MASSIVELY!!!). I relise I dont like big boobs on me, and think I gave in to all sorts of insecurities (brought on by others) in getting them in the first place when I didnt need them. I want them out and that will be he end of it. I don't know if I can do anything to persuade my surgeon to take them out any sooner. I think they already think Im a looner! Your right when I have a date I think I might be able to get myself together. You hang in there and stay in touch. We might have made mistakes but nothing is irriversable. Even bigger hug back to you : )
Aw, I'm sorry you're so bummed about your implants, but you are not alone! This community is full of ladies who have maybe liked their implants for a while but have decided to have them out or know right away that they have learned a big life lesson and want to be explanted. I have a feeling I would end up feeling the same way as you if I ever had implants and I'm just sorry for your expense and trouble. They likely will settle over time and not feel so hard and foreign. But if you do feel you need them out, talk to your surgeon or find one who is compassionate (and board certified of course). Thank you for sharing with us!