The Dreaming, Planning and Waiting Are Over!

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I've never been happy with my prematurely sagging...

I've never been happy with my prematurely sagging breasts and they have always been a private but constant source of embarrassment and discomfort for me. Social situations where less clothes are expected; trips the the beach, the swimming pool, wearing certain clothes- (dresses are a problem) and not to mention encounters with the opposite sex render me self-conscious and awkward.

I have been wrestling with this self loathing for nearly a decade, and I have considered having this operation for years but things have gotten in the way (namely college, university, and work) but it was only this year that I decided that I wanted it to happen.

I have told very few people (parents and close friends) and telling them was not easy- especially my mother. In the end I had to *show* her what I looked like under my bra and even she had no idea they were as droopy as they were. (A tad embarrassing for me to do.)

She has been invaluable to me in her support (I'm also going to be paying her back untill I'm 30!) and I am eternally grateful to her in the journey ahead.

My operation is set for the 19th of December (Remember- New Boobs are for life, not just for Christmas) and I can't believe how fast time has gone, and how much waiting I have left! I know I need to make the most of this time as I'm going to be pretty incapacitated afterwards (and yes I'm staying at my beloved mothers and shes looking after me.)

So as a newbie on this site if anyone has any pre-op tips or things I need to buy beforehand let me know. The fear hasn't kicked in yet- I'm sure I have that to come...

The only thing off putting about having this...

The only thing off putting about having this operation is not the potential pain, discomfort and weeks of recovery but the probability that I won't be able to breastfeed. I've always wanted children someday and I've always wanted to breastfeed them as the benefits are so numerous there's too many to mention. (Not to mention the mother/child bonding.)

I wanted to hear from anyone who had a breastlift BEFORE having children and what their experience of it was- It differs from person to person of course but I'm curious to know whether any milk is produced at all- or it does but not enough. Don't spare the gory details!

This site is so addictive! Anyway- my operation is...

This site is so addictive! Anyway- my operation is in 10 days time and I've been reading other peoples posts/forum comments to gather a list of things I need for the big day. Here it is so far- and I'm posting this purely to gather any feedback- so if you think I've missed anything or you think I've added things I shouldn't waste my cash on let me know. I'm on my own here and you're all the help I've got; you wonderful, anonymous virtual women :-)

• Castor Oil (For medication side effects) ½ Teaspoons on an empty stomach (apparently)
• 3x post operative bra's (I was told to get one size bigger in the ribcage then I am normally, so a 36 not a 34 UK size)
• Arnica tablets
• Palmer’s Vitamin E Skin Therapy Oil/Palmers Scar Serum
• Tamanu Balm- this has been recommended by the hospital group - anyone used it?
• Silicone Gel Scar Treatment Sheets
• Vitamin E oil
• Paracetomal (Tylenol for the Americans reading)
• Ice packs (OR frozen peas if I'm feeling cheap...)
• Gauze/cotton pads
• ‘Stool softener’ Eww…
• Milk of Magnesia (don't know what this is but someone else mentioned it)
• Nytol- to help me sleep
• Button up nightie (check)
• Dry Shampoo (check)

Have I missed anything? I'm a bit of a 'planner' have you noticed? lol

I have a 'countdown' app on my phone home screen...

I have a 'countdown' app on my phone home screen that displays the number of days I have left and its finally on single digits! I had a bit of an awkward conversation today with someone I go climbing with once a week (him and his friends) basically explaining that I wouldn't be able to go with him for the rest of December and January due to me having an 'operation' no more details were given... He was very understanding about it and had the good grace not to ask any questions. But I almost felt guilty

Telling/not telling people is something I think will be more of a problem after my op- people I am friends with but who I haven't told wondering where I am- why I won't be coming out for New Years etc. I'm going to have to say I've got the flu- I suppose its the kind of excuse I can get away with in December!

It is now finally and officially 1 WEEK AWAY!...

It is now finally and officially 1 WEEK AWAY! Making the most of this week now- exercising, seeing friends, last minute xmas shopping, that kind of thing. EEEK!

Well last night was the last 'night out' before my...

Well last night was the last 'night out' before my op- no alcohol of course, and had a fantastic time. But I seem to have hit a dip- I'm starting to see events as 'the last time' before the op; the 'last' night out, the 'last' climbing session, the 'last' day of work...but this is a NEW beginning and I need to see it that way. I don't have cold feet- as I want this more than anything, but the reality of the recovery process and how it will effect my life has started to hit home. I can imagine that excitement returning on my last day at work (Tuesday) and the journey to the hospital. No booby dreams yet though!

Only one more day at work and I'm off! All the...

Only one more day at work and I'm off! All the last minute jobs have been done- its just a matter of a few hours away now...will keep you posted.

I've had constant butterflies in my stomach today...

I've had constant butterflies in my stomach today at work and on the jo urney up to the hotel (have to be at the hospital round the corner for 7am) hopefully I will get a good nights sleep tonight. Will probably check in tomorrow evening with updates and photos. Wish me luck!

Currently waiting for my op- early start this...

Currently waiting for my op- early start this morning, up at 5:45 am- short drive to the hospital, waiting in reception for an hour (felt like longer) brought upstairs to my own room, lines drawn on by my doctor, blood pressure and pre-op questions checked and asked...and now I wait. I was booked in for surgury for 11am but the anethesologist (excuse my spelling) was delayed and moved to half 1 or later. Currently just gone 12- waiting in my room with my Mum, so hungry right now- haven't eaten anything since last evening. Constant nerves combined with hunger and boredemn and what I am experiencing right now. I want to get the ball rolling with this and HAVE IT DONE but I know that I'm in the waiting game now. I need to be patient as its going to be a long time to get good results. Will update later.

Well its done! Trying to get get my head around...

Well its done! Trying to get get my head around the last 24 hours so I'll start at the very beginning. The stay at the hotel the night before was restless- in and out of sleep all night (no nightmares though) and up at 5:45 to get showered/dressed before we travelled down to the hospital- turned up and had to wait an hour in reception! (It felt like a lot longer due to my anxiety.)

Finally got to the room (TV, massive bathroom, nice views) and waited around for a bit and various nurses came in to speak to me- checking blood pressure/urine sample/height/weight pre op questions (my favourite- are you wearing dentures?!) More waiting then finally the doctor came in to 'line me up' a very surreal experience only in the fact that I've seen so many pictures of women being lined up that I couldn't believe it was finally my turn!

So more waiting- then I found out that the anesthesiologist was delayed coming in so my surgery was pushed back from 11 till half 1. A bit annoyed as I was getting so hungry by that point, and I was trying to do anything to distract myself from my hunger pangs (reading, listening to music/podcasts, watching tv etc.) so all in all I was waiting for 6 and a half hours in the hospital! All the time feeling a mixture of excitement/nerves/hunger and boredom.

Finally the nurse came in and said it was time! Suddenly felt very scared-and was helped into my gown, DVT socks, hair net and disposible knickers (or panties if you are of the American persuasion) by my mum and the nurse. Emotional goodbye to my mum and then me and the nurse walked to the theatre together. Sat in the ante-room with her for a bit while they were setting up- awkward small talk with the nurse (wasn't in the mood but didn't want to be rude.)

Walked in- lay on the operating table (I am freaking out in my head at this point-my heart is banging in my chest) set me up for the operation (took two men to find a vein in the back of my tiny hand) and as the anesthesia went in I felt this warm creeping sensation up my arm. My eyes felt heavy like someone was physically closing them for me and thought- 'Oh look at that it's working!'

The next thing I remember is seeing two nurses at the bottom of the bed-
'Are we ready to go down now?" I asked,
'You've already had the operation sweetheart!' said a nurse,
"Have I?!"

I looked down and I suddenly noticed what had happened- my chest felt very heavy and constricted, like my bra was on too tight and I had a weight on my chest. But no pain as such. My mum turned up again and as I gradually came round- my whole body started to shake like I was really cold (even though the room was warm) I found out later that this is normal and a side affect of the anesthesia wearing off and the body returning to normal temperature.

The next few hours were a blur or check ups (blood pressure) anti-biotics being put in (cold liquid not warm) food being delivered (much needed even though I didn't feel hungry when I woke up) listening to music, watching tv and drifting in and out of sleep for hours.

I was told by the nurse that if I needed a pee I would have to be supervised the first time round- well the time came and getting up was a challenge, shakey baby steps to the toilet while holding onto my drains (not too much blood but grusome none the less.) That nurse came to check up on me throughout the night after that (about every 2 hours) and she was so lovely and gentle, she was a middle aged woman with a soft west-Indian accent- and had a gap in her teeth when she smiled at me. Around 5 she came to take my drip and drains out (one side hurt more than the other) and after she took my bra off she commented on how good they looked already. "I know- I can hardly believe its happened' 'Well they're yours now' she said.

I got quite emotional for the first time and had a little cry- it still hasn't sunk in completly and still won't untill I see them fully next week (for my first post-op appointment.)

Well I'm back at my parents now and I'm signing off for a while- I'd also like to thank all of you who have posted messages; they've really helped me and given me something to look forward to reading in the wee hours. Will post again soon.

I've just had my first full nights sleep since the...

I've just had my first full nights sleep since the operation, still feeling tired and my back hurts from sleeping on it but fortunatly my mum managed to find her 'V' shaped pillow from when she was an ante-natal teacher. Its really helped me sleep and stopped me from rolling onto my side at night. I moved around to much yesterday; what with all the fuss of coming home so I'm going to chill today.

A third day has passed since my op and the...

A third day has passed since my op and the difference in my mobility is staggering- the tight uncomfortable feeling is hardly there and moving around/ getting up and down is so much easier. I'm still pretty tired, but that might be partly due to the apathy of lounging around the house as well as side effects of the painkillers. As for my boobs- still bandaged up but from what I can see- very little swelling and no bruising. (Although it might be hidden under the pads.) Still doesn't feel real yet- I'm sure that'll change next thursday for my post op check up/reveal...

Scratching, scratching, scratching..,Happy...

Scratching, scratching, scratching..,Happy Holidays everyone! x

Well today was the day of the big reveal- the...

Well today was the day of the big reveal- the nurse took the bandages and tape off, gave then a bit of a swipe down to remove any dried blood (eww) and sticky residue from the tapes and then I got off the bed, walked to the mirror and....WOW! Overwhelmed is the word I would use- I burst into tears, and the nurse said I was healing very well, very quickly. I have a bit of discolouration on my right side- normal since I'm right handed and use it more often. Nipple sensation has more or less gone- I'd hoped for more sensitivity but that may come back in time. What's wonderful is the physical sensation of sitting/standing without a bra and not having them flopping all over the place. Even without a bra on I feel so secure and 'tight' but not in an uncomfortable way...all in all this is the best thing I've ever done!

Downers: my back is killing from sleeping on it, but it's a small price to pay!

Well it's been two weeks to the day since my op...

Well it's been two weeks to the day since my op and all in all things are going well, I went back to work today for the first time and things were ok, apart from a little back pain from sitting upright all day. Sleeping at night is still a problem, and will probably continue to be until I can finally sleep on my side again (which I presume will be another few weeks yet.) I've updated a picture of how things are looking so far- healing well, but I have a slight difference in how my nipples look! I hope this rectifies itself but it if doesn't...well it's a small price to pay. Did anyone else notice this during the early stages? Also how many weeks before you were able to sleep on your side?

I have a question for anyone who wishes to answer-...

I have a question for anyone who wishes to answer- how many weeks did you wait before you did any exercise? I'm debating whether to go climbing Wednesday evening or not, I'm currently 3 weeks since my operation, no pain and my mobility is fine I jumping the gun a little bit? Any thoughts let me know.

Well its been 4 weeks since my operation- things...

Well its been 4 weeks since my operation- things are looking good and healing nicely. I'm exercising again and sleeping in a sort of semi-side position nicely. The only thing that concerns me is how they...feel...the tissue underneath my crease scars is still very hard and lumpy- and quite tender to the touch. The nurse mentioned that I should start massaging them with bio oil to loosen them up but should I do this if it hurts a little? Does anyone have any experience of this?

It's been a while since I've posted, but I am now...

It's been a while since I've posted, but I am now 3 months on from my operation and things are back to normal now. Looking back on my old photos now I can still hardly believe that I used to look how I did...

Scar treatment is still ongoing and it's still slow to recover- they are still red- but only underneath, the vertical scarring is barely visible and the scars around the nipples blend in quite nicely. As for their shape, one breast looks oddly scalloped underneath but according to my surgeon they will settle over the next few months.

My 3 month check up went well but he told me to carry on with the scar treatment- I ordered a quite expensive tube of dermatix gel, have yet to see any results from that. (Also using Circa care gel sheets.)

I've gone down 2 cup sizes and spent a bit of time the other day throwing out all my old bras- they are huge in comparison to how they are now. It's so nice to be a more regular size- bras are more accessible when you are in the A-DD bracket.

I've been told to have another check up with my surgeon in 6 months time. It should be interesting to see how they look then...they look better in real life then they do captured on camera so I'm not too concerned.

Does anyone have any info on scar treatment? When did you notice them starting to fade to silver?

One year ago today!

Feel compelled to write in here again, as it has officially been ONE YEAR since my operation and it still remains the best decision I've ever made. My body confidence has soared and I feel so much more at ease with my body, both in (and out) of clothes. I have regained full sensitivity (it took about 4-5 months and my scars are quite faint (they'll never go away completely). So if anyone has any questions to ask me about recovery let me know. I am a wealth of tips!
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