Hey ladies, I've read so many of your stories and...
Hey ladies, I've read so many of your stories and I want to thank you all for your honesty and courage. I had my BA to try to fix slight asymmetry.
The asymmetry always bothered me, but it would spike in waves, I'd go 6 months without thinking about it, then something would happen, I'd notice it again, and it would be at the forefront of my mind. No boyfriends ever mentioned it. Until one guy thoughtlessly remarked how one boob filled out my bra cup more then the other. He didn't mean to be harsh, btw, he's lovely. We stopped dating at the time but have been together for the last 6 months. If he knew how his offhand comment affected me he'd hate himself. Anyway at the time, it jolted me into action and I booked a consultation a month later.
I was recommended my surg by a colleague in the industry, so I was pretty silly and only met up with him. I didn't ask enough questions, I didn't research all my options thoroughly. I was impulsive, and trying to fix myself on the outside, when really I should have spent that money on a top notch therapist and uber hoilday.
STATS: I was a 34a/b. Had a 255mod profile and 295high profile, Naturelle silicone textured partially under the muscle. Will uploads some pics in a bit. Suffice to say the implants only magnified the problem. I was positive and patient and thought the left implant would eventually drop and settle. It didn't..
I asked my surgeon more questions and found out he'd put a high profile implant in the smaller breast. I was distraught, I didn't realise he'd done that. His reason was cold logic, I have the capacity to have a 12cm diameter implant, so to make up the volume in the smaller breast I (apparently) couldn't have a larger moderate profile, as it would be too wide for me. So he stepped it up to the high profile.
Of course they were uneven! My logic says that. I had two different shaped implants in two already different shaped breasts! But his aspiration was obviously different to mine; my breasts filled my 34D bra the same amount. In clothes I look symmetrical. Aparrently I should be happy with that. Despite that fact that naked I have one lovely, albeit a tad droopy looking righty, and a weird rigid frankenboob lefty. I booked a revision with him 18 months after the initial BA to replace the 295HP with a 255MP (the same size that's in righty). I had to paid the basic hospital fees for this (2k)
Unbeknownst to me and the 3 other surgeons I met (for opinions) over the previous 18 months, I had actually developed early stage cc around my HP implant. My surgeon told me when I woke from the revision, he had to remove the capsule with the implant.
Now 6 months post revision, lefty still isn't okay. It's bottoming out :( and I could tell within a month. I think surg over compensated trying to open my small breast pocket to allow the implant to drop. I've seen him twice, he is charming, warm and always open to discussion, but says to wait untill 9 months. I really see no point, I considered trying to fix it again but after reading all the encouraging stories on here, I'm ready to call it quits, accept my itty bitty slightly wonky boobs, and be done with this!
I've suffered so much emotional distress from this. I've had 2 boyfriends and fortunately both have been really understanding. But I was diagnosed with depression 9 months after the first operation. It's been hard. The only saving grace is this: I have grown, I am wiser, less obsessive, and ready to accept my imperfections. I wanted to fix minor asymmetry and as a result have had more asymmetry for the last 2 years. My left breast is numb :( - and lefty used to be WONDERFULLY sensitive. I'm hoping a few years post explant I will regain sensation.
My biggest fear now is that when my surg cut out the surprise CC, he might have done damage to my breast tissue. I've seen cases on here where results from explantation can be deformed from this. I'm seeing him in a couple weeks and will talk to him then.
I emailed my surgeons PA requesting a date for surgery a couple days ago. really can't wait to have these implants removed! Woke up today with lefty aching again, it's all just really uncomfortable now :/ trying to keep positive though!
Surgery dates on the horizon and the regrettable rhino I've yet to mention
Hey girls, I've not had a lot to report lately! Hopefully going to receive a surgery date soon. I've been negotiating to receive the removal free of charge and am now waiting for Mr Vijh's PA to return from her 3 week(!!) holiday to get some September dates to me. I initially requested the explant in May so this is really starting to drag and though I'm generally positive I've had the odd low day too. I actually also had a very unnecessary rhinoplasty in the same operation as my BA and haven't been too happy with that either. Basically I was a mess in 2012 and wanted to fix myself on the outside and start again "fresh" ...I've spent the last 2 years fixing myself on the inside, on top of healing from the trauma of all of this!
I need to do a rhinoplasty review but in a nutshell, I had a long Roman-esque nose and my only request was that he kept the general shape the same but made it a bit smaller, and I didn't want it to swoop up. Which of course it now does! I had a revision on this when I had my left implant swapped 8 months ago. I also had breathing problems and he had to fix that too. Let me tell you, rhinoplasty revision swelling is no fun - takes 2+ years to fully resolve. Obviously in hindsight my old nose was ABSOLUTELY FINE. The new nose is ok too, I care a lot less nowadays. And I'm sure any of you reading this will already be aware of the perils of cosmetic surgery but just incase you miss the point - LEAVE YOURSELF ALONE AND ACCEPT YOUR QUIRKS AS BEAUTIFUL AND INDIVIDUAL :)
Anyway, they should thoroughly psychoanalyse people thoroughly prior to cosmetic surgery. I've had a couple days swamped in deep regret and I have to let it go and be positive. I'm getting better at doing that. Comparatively I'm a lot less obsessive, even with a swollen nose and weird boobs, so there's a lot of hope for the future!
Date set! and NUTRIBULLET
I have confirmed a date, finally! 5th October. Looking into skin prep and after care.. going to get a hench MACOM bra https://www.macom-medical.com/post-surgery/bras and some Environ AVST body oil to start rubbing on my tatas to help my skin heal well. I think it's good for scars too, I'll look into it.
I did a week long booze and carb (mostly) detox earlier this month and my skin felt great, I was feeling great, being more creative and productive. Then I had a double whammy birthday bender and it's crazy - my skin broke out and my mood was lower. Pretty convinced I need to generally eat better and cut back on partying but it's very difficult. The next weeks will be HARD, I missed out on 3 parties the last few days and I've been a major GRUMPUS. But it has to be done, I will heal better without all that crap in my body. Also drinking WHITE TEA again - it's better for you than green tea and I much prefer the taste, it's yummy and delicate, I can't stand green tea. Making smoothies and soups with my nutribullet is a dream. But apparently I need to avoid garlic pre and post op - that's going to hurt more than the no booze. Maybe.
Telling EVERYONE about my future no boobs
Hey lovely ladies! My delivery of the Environ AVST body oil was late but I've been applying it for a few days now.
I've been telling all my clients about what's happening, and my friends, and weirdly, all my boyfriends work mates now know! He works in a bar I go to. It's going to be pretty obvious they shrank, and everyone has known I'm "going away" for a few weeks. I don't think I'll be padding out my bra loads since I'm welcoming the small size. I might have to pad a little if there are dents and asymmetries :/ but trying not to let my mind focus on that just yet.
I feel less stigma in telling everyone they're coming out. I hardly spoke to anyone- including my best mates- when i had them put in. I guess it's weird I'm being so open.. I hope I serve as a cautionary tale to anyone anywhere considering having implants. I want to keep the silicone nightmares and frame them :)
A best friend of mine sometimes introduced me at parties to strangers as "this is Rach she has fake boobs - feel them!" - So maybe I never had a choice in keeping it secret. It used to upset me, but was always too awkward to bring up once removed from the situation at hand. Maybe one day I'll tell her it was cruel and thoughtless (she knew the problems I'd been having with them too).. Another best friend had issues. If a guy we met commented on my figure (small waist and large hips and 34D's that look great IN CLOTHES) she would also blurt out that my boobs were fake. Girls are competitive and weird.
Had them removed at 11.30am under a lighter general anaesthesia, felt okay after.. Can actually feel it all more than when I had implants tho, but it's ok. I don't actually know as I haven't seen the surgeon since but I believe the capsules are still inside. And not using drains. Nurses wanted to monitor me and check I can wee, and eat without being sick. Alls been fine today, was released at 5.30... Just downed a quick apple spinach and spirulina juice (undoubtedly the most painful part of today! Eugh) and white tea, got my MACom bra on and just had a peek and put on some mama mio boob tube. Apparently it's good.
So far so good. He's taken my left crease back up to where it was I think.. And they are as I thought they would be thanks to all the photos I've seen on here! :) Haven't posted a side pic, forgot to take one but they are very concave. This looks great on the smaller lefty but righty not so much. But it's all okay and I've tried to get them in good positions in the bra to help them settle okay. Will post pics now!
I'm spending way too much on creams and supplements!! Last two ops I did absolutely zilch pre and post surgery, so I'm making up for that perhaps. A lovely lady on here mentioned taking gelatin and how it really helps the skin recover. Another lady is making bone broth soups. There must be something in this.. So off I went, spent the following 2 hours researching and reading reviews, and subsequently ordered with express delivery from Amazon! It arrived this morning and I'm pretty excited about this. I got the most recommended, Great Lakes collagen hydrolysate gelatin. Just plopped some in my tea, it dissolves easily and is tasteless. Was too expensive at £28.49, you can definitely get it cheaper but time is of the essence as I'm already 6 days post op so I went for it. There are hundreds of positive reviews, largely relating to joints and skin and nail and hair growth. Some people report constipation, which I'm hoping won't happen as I suffered quite enough with that this week!!! Anyway just posting now as I wish I'd have known about it sooner, so if I can help any of you lovely brave ladies heal better I'm glad. Will keep you posted and probably post boob pics in another week or so as there hasn't been a great amount of change so far. But I'm happy and loving how warm and soft they are :)
Hey beautiful babes, think I'm 9 days post now. All has gone great and my incisions are healing up reeeal good. The nurse said I don't need to use tape anymore and I can start applying oil in a week as everything is all closed up nicely. I think my smaller left boob had some fluid that's now going down, as my asymmetry is reappearing. But this is expected! They seemed to look more even for a bit which was exciting I can't lie :) but all is good. He's really raised and tucked my left fold in, not sure why, it's higher than it ever was and I can't actually see the incision as it's sooo tucked in. Maybe he had a reason for doing this?? The skin has firmed a little but no huuuuge changes, the concave side view has filled out a tiny bit, sorry I didn't think to post that view before for more useful comparisons! I've posted a pic of my worst selfie angle, just in case it might make anyone else feel better for being asymmetric too. They look OK in real life and I'm excited to move on from the emotional trauma of the last 2.5 years. I'll be resting at my parents for another few days then back to London.
Oh and haha I purchased an American apparel bralet top that I once tried on with the implants in. I remember being so frustrated at not fitting a size L, they were spilling out and looking awful. In fact, getting dressed and finding clothes I like, that didn't emphasise the boobs, has been an ongoing frustration the last couple years. And now I can wear low cut tops again!! Yeyyyy!
I used to wear a padded 34b so I would look like a c cup. But now I love my silhouette when they are flatter. I want them looking as small as possible to I'll be buying some pretty and pad-free bras in a couple months :D
Hmm can't really see them unless I pull the skin up