Reading your reviews and experiences...
Reading your reviews and experiences is utterly comforting right now as I have my surgery booked in less than 6 weeks. Right now there is a strange feeling of excitement (to finally feel 'real' again) and fear... of disfigurement, complications, regrets and so on.
It seems like this is the case for a lot of women on here - I was 18, lacking self-esteem, bullied at school and thought that boobs would make life all better. Men would flock, I'd meet my dream man and my problems would disappear.
What I found was that yes, I felt more womanly but that soon wore off, I was still insecure. But how could this be?! I attracted men who were shallow and degrading to women. After all, I thought so little of myself at that age, I thought that shoving plastic lumps into my chest would give me self worth.
The augmentation was a lengthy one and I was left with no feeling whatsoever in my nipples or around the breast itself. Despite this, I've had no real problems with them since as I can pinpoint onto the implants (no capsular contracture, rippling or excessive pain) and over the years they have really softened, so they feel like my own!
However, I've suffered from a myriad of healthy problems - chronic fatigue, hair loss, anxiety, dry eyes. In 2011 I found out that they were of the PIP sort and this caused me to have a total panic! I wanted them out of me!
But, fear and an unwilling surgeon led me to (quite easily) make the decision to keep them in. I was petrified of the outcome.
Fast forward 4 years and I am in a much better place mentally. I realise boobs can't bring you joy - in the same way a fancy job, car, house can't either. If you're unhappy and insecure, there will be temporary fixes, but loving you for you - that is really the only way for true happiness and contentment.
So, in less than 6 weeks it is the big day. Currently looking at compression bras - has anyone found better success with Macom or with Royce? Or neither?
Thanks to all the brave ladies posting on here, you've given me strength to go through with this. And to all those who are thinking about it, I hope to give you honest and upfront advice following my explant without replacement or uplift.
Thank you :)
I forgot to post bare boobie pics...
So here goes..
Now looking at them in the photos I think the one side has contracture more than I initially thought....
Even more reasons to be implant free!
What am I doing?
Hello all, I am so scared...please, anyone who has anyone advice right now help me. I don't feel that I can go through with this. I am 30 now, I was 18 years old when I made this decision and I'm really not prepared to face the results ....
I should go for a replacement, surely? I genuinely have no idea what size I was post implants 12 years ago!!!!
My boyfriend is going to notice a major difference, not only in my physical appearance but in the way I feel about myself too. Why did I do this to myself? I am in tears right now. I don't know what to do. removement and no replacement, there is a reason that not many people have taken This option......I'm so sorry I am. Not more positive...... I am so scared. Good luck all
Compression bra - gynefix vest arriving soon!
Thanks for listening to my panic stricken self and your lovely words, I'm having good and bad days but on the whole a lot more positive.
I've been actively doing things for the op now - rubbing my boobs with rosehip oil each night, taking vitamins to build strength and......exploring the wondrous world of compression garments!!!
I initially ordered the Macom bra 1007 for post op care in a 34 size back after a recommendation via their online chat. I'm expecting to be a very teeny tiny A cup, but when the bra came I could see that the space within the bra, the 'cup' size would be far too big, I was convinced it had been worn and stretched and totally got this into my head, so I sent it back and ordered another, hoping it would be different.
Then another and it was exactly the same!!! I was so upset and frustrated, but spoke to someone very professional and friendly from Macom who advised that their Gynefix vest more appropriate for explant and they will exchange this for me. This vest however, I noticed afterwards is intended for men - normally for after 'moob' removal. I got all teary again as I remembered how little I will have! (it really is a roller coaster right now!!!)
Their friendly staff assured that this would be ok as the other 1007 bra is commonly used for explant AND replacement and that this Gynefix vest is focussed solely on compression, without the cups to fill.
It does feel strange though, the idea of compressing post surgery -to push what you do have even flatter, but I understand it will help healing. The description said it was also for 'binding' so I really am going to be as flat as a pancake!! Yikes!
Anyway, the woman I spoke to was super helpful and apologised for any possible confusion about sending the other product out.
Will be glad when this arrives as it is another step towards getting ready for it. I also threw out a few old bras this weekend and gave some dresses that I know I won't be able to wear to charity.
Feeling much better than I was in my previous emotional outburst on here! Everyone of us have our highs, lows and places in-between during the explant journey, but there are SO many positive stories and i really hope Im one of them too! :)
So Gynefix man vest, explant and triple A boobs I'm ready for ya!!!
If anyone else has used a vest or Macom bra would be interested to hear your experiences....
Much love x
Am going to miss these!
Wondering why I never made them more of a feature, I always hid them, afraid people would know they were fake.
1 week to go! Very scared indeed.
How fast 5 weeks can go yet how slow it can feel at the same time!
I've been having major concerns and fears, waking up in cold sweats and generally feeling a sense of dread......should it really be affecting me this way?
At 30 my body is changing so much already and is sooooo much more wibbly than it was only a year or two ago. I'm scared of feeling so unattractive again, despite knowing it's not what's on the outside that really counts.....
Can't wait for it to be over and done with now and then I can deal with the results, no matter what they will be- it's the not knowing that is the worst I think.
Emotional explant roller coaster journey. I'd like to get off soon please!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? They are only boobs aren't they?
Sorry all, but even if not no one reads this or responds, I'm going to have a rant................
So despite all these dreams about losing body parts, night sweats and feeling of impending doom within my stomach, I thought I'd turned a corner and have been able to be a lot more positive! But it's like a completely unexpected emotional boobie roller coaster journey and I'm keen to get off now!
So, this afternoon I was fine. It's the weekend before the op this coming w/e and planned to see my wonderful man and feel excited and relieved he will be with me (we're currently in different cities due to work) But I learn that he's got to speak at a conference which is now in a different city than he thought so he can't come over. BOOM! I just START CRYING!
Would I normally blubber? Nope? Why was I crying?? Because I wanted to spend the last weekend with him before explant, we were going to go for a meal where I could wear my absolute favourite polka dot dress and V Secret undies (both of which there is no way I'm getting into post explant) then have a great night together afterwards, if you know what I mean....as the compression garment and sports bras will be order of the day over the next few weeks.
He didn't really understand why I was so upset as he's been so supportive and is coming to look after me, taking time off work...... why is it I feel I am losing such a big part of me? This feels silly.
Thankfully he was unbelievably sweet and reassuring... I feel so lucky. I guess a part of me is remembering all those a-holes I used to meet, and at the time when I had it done, how insecure I was. But maybe I did want my implants for me to make me feel better, more womanly, not just to meet a man who cared or to stave off my insecurities.
In which case, I am going to miss them and the way they made me feel..... they've been a part of me for so long.
So, final weekend is not going to be spent with my man, but as my dear man says there will be times ahead, many of them and nothing ends, in fact it's just begun. He was so kind (this also made me cry!!!)
Bottom line: I am not my implants. Time to be back to positive and ride this roller coaster to the finish line and be like "hell yeah, I did it"
Sorry, i just had to get that all out!!! Thank you for listening!!!!!
AND Good luck to everyone who is on a little roller coaster of their own :)
4 days to go!
It's been fun boobs! Wearing my 32D bra here. Better have a clear out. Anyone have any advice on when to start bra shopping? Obviously support will be important for the fluffing girls, but it's all a little uncertain as to how they will be.
The plan is to stay in compression/sports bra for a good month post op. I've bought a 32B sports bra as support, it was on offer and I figured if I was an A before then a B might be nice and comfortable and allow for any swelling.
Embarrassing work situation! Boobs on the mind...
I thought I'd share a funny situation in work this week.
Clearly the op is on my mind. I write as part of my job and was writing some content for our company website. I VERY nearly published a page with 'tits' instead of 'that's' - even after proof reading. It is just really on my mind!
THEN, if that wasn't embarrassing enough! I decided to buy a gift for myself - two new dresses, high necked so I can wear compression/sport bra, but pretty and feminine. I ordered them a few days ago to be delivered to work. When ordering they give you the option to put a message if it will be a gift.
Well, I thought - it is a gift to myself, no? So I playfully wrote 'Happy New Boobs, these will look great!" as the message.
My dresses arrived in work, I opened the package at my desk to check - didn't see the message but didn't really think about it.
Then a male member of staff was like "I think you've dropped something", and put the paper, with the message face up (clear to see!) back on my desk!
Hopefully he just thought it was a new bra -'new boobs' as no one knows I'm having it done apart from those I'm close to in my team.
Ahhh well tits just the way it is right now!
I am so going to keep a sense of humour during this! :)
Getting ready to head to the hospital
Feeling weirdly cool and calm about it all.
The waiting is over at least, I'm pretty sure that's the worst part!
Thanks for your support, has helped so much - I'll post my experience of the procedure soon :) x
Implants out and feeling GOOd
31 Mar 2015
Day of treatment
Just a quick update and some photos.
I had a lot of pain on the left side so stayed in a little longer than anticipated. While the pain is still there when I move, I feel such a nice sense of relief.
Initially I didn't think I could wear my compression vest as I was so sore but I put it on and feel much better with it on. It's Macom gyne fix vest which fits perfectly and feels like it's doing the job. They gave some great advice as to what to do afterwards whilst advising to consult surgeon also.
As for the way they look, well - it's early days and (if I feel brave enough to upload) you'll see that they are sad, droopy, puckered and looking sorry for themselves.
Having said that, I love how soft they feel and it was lovely to give my boyfriend a hug without the hard contracted implants in the way. The capsular contracture on the right was getting really bad and interfering with hugging and yoga, it was definitely the right time and decision to say bye bye!
So all in all, considering it's the day of the op, I think it's worth it.
Also feel confident after reading others experiences that they will fluff and change over time. I know you can't make any conclusions in the first few months at least so I'm going to rest and hope for the best.
Thanks for your best wishes :)
Day 3 after explant
Very tired but much less pain and sutures are off now :)
5th day post explant
Thank you for your positive comments , really helping right now :) I have some pain in my left side boob - which is also quite different to the other (this was the one with the most contracture)
The Macom compression beat has been amazing and I feel so much better, comfortable and supported with it on. Am sure it is helping me to heal quicker.
Still feeling like I need a lot of rest and in the midst of healing but overall very positive , the thought of explant much worse than the op itself and feeling hopeful they will both even out . Fingers crossed
Thanks for your kind words
Capsules still in - worried this is bad?!
Recovery wise I'm doing well but concerned that I still have my capsules in.
I won't find out until my follow up appointment next week as to the reasons why a capsulectomy wasn't performed, but I really wish I'd have asked for one. I know it's surgeons discretion , and it was via the NHS and I didn't want to put them out anymore than necessary, but maybe this is why the right side is slightly bigger (the right side had capsular contracture)
They were PIP and I wanted all those toxins out.
Am I worrying over nothing?
Any advice would be most welcome
2 weeks post explant pain in scar - need to worry?
It's been two weeks and I may have gotten a little bit carried away and done some stretching on my first day back at work.
The left healing incision feels swollen, like a sausage ! And some pain. It's quite red but not massively, have I just overdone things do you think? I felt just fine and wasn't going too crazy.
Can't sleep, so painful
Left boob is really uncomfortable - worse than when I had it done in fact. Blowing cool air on it helps but I worry I may have some fluid or blood accumulation , the incision is swollen and it feels like it's throbbing.
I had this done via the NHS so there is no one I can call to check with, I have my appointment tomorrow so not long to wait but struggling to sleep with it.
Ouch :( and it was going so well
Infection in left boob :(
The hospital said it was indeed an infection, very swollen and red - the examination was agonising.
This is the most pain I've had during this whole experience. Have a course of anti-biotics which should clear it up soon.
In the photo it looks ok doesn't it, but it hurts so so much I thought it would be much noticably red and sore looking. Perhaps some of it is internal infection too.
20 Jul 2015
4 months post
I recovered from the infection which was very painful indeed (the antibiotics were so strong I then contracted C-difficile, which wiped me out energy wise for a good few months!)
But despite the odd freak out about the left one feeling different to the right, I've come to feel totally comfortable and happy with my decision.
I've fluffed so much and filled out a lot of the space which I'm thankful for.
One thing that did concern me was the texture and bumps of the breast tissue but I guess it's just all moulding back together now and this is just regular breast tissue.
I am so happy with my decision and wouldn't have had it any other way.
My advice to anyone is that the pre-nerves and stress are MUCH worse than the actual procedure, for me anyway - and I had a nasty infection too!
Nothing feels better than hugging someone you love and there being nothing false I between you.
Love your beautiful selves and bodies - we are all divinely unique and special.
Much love and luck to all explanters