34 Yr Old, 9yr Old Saline Implants (Right 330cc and Left 360cc) Birmingham, AL

Where do I begin. I guess from the beginning lol. I am a very small woman, I always have been. With that being said my breasts were very small 32AA. It bothered me until I married the man of my dreams. We had a wonderful marriage and 2 amazing boys together. We were military. He was killed in May 2007. My world fell apart and I became very self conscious about my body. I was about 95lbs and athletic. I let doubt creep in my mind and consume me. I would never be good enough for anyone else. I have 3 boys and I have the body of a boy which is not attractive to most men. I was teased as a kid in school, but once they figured out I didn't let it bother me they stopped. Now I am a 25 yr old widow and starting over with kids. I went swim suit shopping with my mom and the top was huge, she offered to get me a smaller size to try on and I told her this is an x-small. I sat and cried and after that day I was on a mission to get boobs. I had the money I wanted to have a womanly figure. So, I went and had consults paid and had my mom take me. I had the surgery and it went great with little to no pain afterwards (I do have a high pain tolerance). All was ok and good at first. My right breast has always been hard since day one. I have capsular contracture in my right breast. I got pregnant when I wasn't supposed to be able to (IUD). After the birth of my 4 baby my breasts have forever been changed. My right one is still rock hard and will not move at all. My left breast well that one is a whole different matter. It moves everywhere and sags severely, in my opinion. I hate my breasts and how they look. I do not blame anyone, but me for the way they look. I wished I had never gotten them to begin with.
I have met with a few PS and I have decided on one I feel is amazing and has what I want and my body in his best interest. I am extremely picky now when it comes to Dr.'s especially when they are performing surgeries on me. I had a surgery 2 years ago and the physician messed up and cut something I needed and didnt know it. Needless to say I spent the entire summer having a multitude of procedures and surgeries to fix the damage.
My PS and I have decided to deflate my breasts and give my body time to heal and see how much breast tissue I have to work with. He told me I still have little to no breast tissue. Doing this also gives me a chance to know exactly how flat, bad, ugly, saggy my breasts are going to be. It helps me to better decide if I want a lift and to what extent what all is needed to get me back to the confident woman I once was.
I am comfortable with me and my body. I work out and eat right. I also have the support of a wonderful boyfriend of 3 years. I have also lived with my breasts being the way they are for the past 7 years. I have finally decided its time to have something done. I dont have to live with them the way they are and I am not going to. This site has been invaluable to me. I never would have imagined the amount of women that want to explant. Thank you to everyone that has posted a story and their experience. I will continue to update as my journey progresses. Best wishes to all!

So today I had my saline implants deflated in the office. My appt was at 11:30 and I almost let my anxiety get the best of me. I am the worlds most squeamish person when it comes to procedures and blood. I normally pass out at the sight of blood. Today I was good excited and ready to deflate until the ride there. That 45 min drive took forever and the closer I got the more nervous I got. I didn't have to wait long at all in the waiting area. I got back to the procedure room and within minutes I was numb and he was extracting saline out of my implants. I didn't feel anything. He was wonderful with me and my anxiety I was having about the procedure. It wasn't even anxiety about what I would look like afterward lol. When I looked down bc he asked me to I started laughing. I didn't remember how flat chested I was before BA. I am home and feeling amazing. This gets me one step closer to being implant free and happy with my natural body. The Dr. And I decided deflating first would be better for me to see exactly how much breast tissue I have and for me to be sure about a lift (if I need one) and that I don't want to reimplant with smaller implants. My PS has been amazing and has never pressured me into one way or another.
After deflating I am Ok and happy with my itty bitty [RS bleep] I have. I may want the lift only so they sag the same amount and aren't cadiwampus like they are now. I feel so much freer and light lol.