POSTED UNDER Lower Facelift REVIEWS
54 Year Old Female. Asheville, NC
ORIGINAL POST
I am hoping for a consultation cancelation . None...
Lane10November 22, 2014
WORTH IT$10,000
I am hoping for a consultation cancelation . None available until after December 30 and it seems I get more down and depressed by the day looking in the mirror. All the sagging seemed to happen overnight!! It is mainly my neck and jowls. Especially my neck ... I cringe when I see side view pics!! I have always been rather pleased with my face and have even won several beauty pageants. But, age has taken its toll and winning pageants would almost be unbelievable at this point!!! I feel as though I am
In a prison always trying to cover my neck and do not even want my own husband to look at me! Yes... Vanity... But I can not seem to overcome it. My self esteem is practically down to zero. It took a long time to convince my husband, but I think he has finally come to realize the turmoil it is causing me. And, I have learned that when you do not feel good about yourself, it affects your relationship with others, especially my husband. He gives me that line of ... "I love you just the way you are", but I guess j have it so bad that is no comfort to me at all!! I plan to post before and after pics as the date of my surgery gets closer. I look forward to sharing and hope many of you will share, as well. I enjoy reading and learning as much as I can from both a clinical and emotionally standpoint.
In a prison always trying to cover my neck and do not even want my own husband to look at me! Yes... Vanity... But I can not seem to overcome it. My self esteem is practically down to zero. It took a long time to convince my husband, but I think he has finally come to realize the turmoil it is causing me. And, I have learned that when you do not feel good about yourself, it affects your relationship with others, especially my husband. He gives me that line of ... "I love you just the way you are", but I guess j have it so bad that is no comfort to me at all!! I plan to post before and after pics as the date of my surgery gets closer. I look forward to sharing and hope many of you will share, as well. I enjoy reading and learning as much as I can from both a clinical and emotionally standpoint.
Replies (43)
November 24, 2014
i know how you feel .. my husband would say the same thing .. but its us that have to look in the mirror and if you dont feel like you look good you wont feel good enough about your self .. cant wait to see your after pic s .. good luck to you .. i had a revision just recent but my neck is still yuky again my husband said i look beautiful ... but i want it fixed its all i notice when i look in that dam mirror again
November 25, 2014
Thanks so much for your reply. So nice to know someone understands how it is not to be happy with what I see in the mirror. I have got to the point that I hate getting myself ready for the day and it has had a real negative affect on me in so many ways emotionally. What type of revision did you have and how long ago was your surgery. Mine will be a lower lift.
December 1, 2014
I can most definately sympathize with you...for I feel the same way. I'm not a very smart person, I hold no degrees, & I'm not talented by any means. I've always relied on my looks & personality...I feel they are all I have. I'll be 53 this month, and like you, I feel that I've aged over night. I don't have sagging in my face but I do have wrinkles in my lower cheeks, even when I'm not smiling and although not bad...my neck is wrinkled & needs to be tightened. My family, like your husband, does not understand. I blame it all on menopause. It's really been hard on me. Go forward....if you've chosen a PC whom you feel comfortable with, stick with him & just wait it out until you can get an appt with him. Don't choose someone less qualified just to get in sooner. You won't be doing yourself any favors. Just look at it as a new beginning for a New Year!! Good luck, hang in there & know there is someone out there that understands & sympathizes with you!!
December 5, 2014
Thanks so much for your comments. It's so good knowing someone understands. I feel as I am in this all by myself because no one in my family agrees with my decision. I am determined to have it done because it has changed me in such negative ways. Sometime do not even want to leave the house!! I did get my consultation for January 13 and so excited! Just anxious to have it done. I would have it tomorrow if I could!! Lol! Thanks again for your reply.
December 5, 2014
Wonderful!! So glad you have your consult scheduled!! What an exciting & positive way to start off the new year!! I most certainly agree with the Community Manager....go to more than one consult...at least 2...more if you still don't feel quite right. You will know when you've seen the right PS. Good luck & keep us posted!!!
January 17, 2015
I believe, without a doubt , I have found the best PS for me.' I was very impressed with Dr Harley in Asheville when I went for my consultation. The date has been set for March 3rd. Can't wait... So excited!! Thanks for your post.
December 3, 2014
Hi Lane I hope everything goes really well for you. Your pictures haven't come up with your post unfortunately. It might just be on my page. Anyway best wishes again.
January 17, 2015
Sorry so late responding. I will have more pics as the time gets closer to the surgery. Thanks so much for wishing me luck. I am very excited, especially after having my consultation with Dr Harley on the 13th. I will be having my surgery March 3rd. Was hoping for a sooner date, but will give me plenty of time to prepare . Thanks so much for your post and more pics will be coming .
December 13, 2014
Hi. I am the SAME way. :(
Family and friends get so mad at me for it. They all say things like..you are so beautiful. You look so good for your age. Why do you focus so much on your looks. Ugh! Some people don't understand. I have done modeling in my younger years and have always been The Bella of the ball as some have put it. It is very hard to be in that position all your life and then almost overnight you seem to change. You look in the mirror and feel so different about yourself. Suddenly all that amazing confidence is gone, and it shows deep into your soul. Your personality starts to change and then people start reacting to you differently. This seems to create a vicious cycle of dispair. I am also planning a surgery soon. I am going to have a SMAS facelift and neck lift and fat transfer to areas of my face where post menopause has caused volume loss. So please understand that you are not alone. There are tons of women out there like us. People can call it vanity and it probably is true , but if you don't feel good about the way you look, after having that blessing for so long you probably won't be happy. If you are not happy it is hard to please those around you as well. Let's get our mojo back! ;)
Many hugs and best wishes for a safe and successful surgery.
Replies (0)
UPDATED FROM Lane10
3 months pre
Yayyy!! Consultation Scheduled!!!
Lane10December 16, 2014
So so excited!! My consultation is scheduled for Jan. 13, 2015 with Dr. Harley in Asheville, NC for a mid face and neck lift!! It can not come soon enough!! Hoping I do not have to wait long for the surgery.
Replies (11)
January 4, 2015
You are so gorgeous right now. Your neck can not be as bad as you think it is. You look 40 years old. I can't believe you would put your beautiful face under the knife.
January 8, 2015
Oh!! You have made my day!! I will post before pics without the scarf and you will see how bad I need the surgery. It all seemed to happen overnight !! Thanks so much for the compliment!
January 8, 2015
I believe that you should try working with a very skilled therapist before you do this; someone who can help you understand why you feel this way about your neck. Why would you want to go through a surgical procedure that could compromise the gorgeous face you have and possibly end up regretting it. What do your friends think? What does your husband think? If he wants a trophy wife, he already has one.
January 10, 2015
Wow!! Thanks so much! Keep in mind there is a scarf around my neck! You will agree that I need the surgery when I post the pics closer to surgery date. Have you had any fl procedures? Thanks so much for the posting and the compliments.
January 10, 2015
If that is you in the photo, then you are a babe just as you are. True, I can't see your neck, but unless it makes you look like a blowfish, I'm not sure why you want to do anything surgically. This would be a wonderful world if all women looked as good as you!
January 12, 2015
Thanks so much for the compliment!! I will be showing the true reveal of neck when surgery date is scheduled. You will then see why I need the surgery. Hopefully, I will be "a babe " after my lift!! Lol! Thanks so much for posting.
January 12, 2015
Good luck with the surgery. I hope you find peace to allow yourself to age happily without concern about no longer looking like a 20-year-old. There is great beauty in a warm smile from an attractive woman of a certain age.
January 28, 2015
I think cordelidm got it right when she said she hoped you'd find peace to allow yourself to age a bit w/o needing to look like a 20 year old. You look beautiful (no more than 30) and if I were the Doctor, I would refuse to work on you because you don't need anything done.
January 28, 2015
Thanks, Trudijane, but, ummm, I am most definitely NOT a "she." So, Lane10, my comments were from a guy's perspective--at least THIS guy's perspective. That said, I suspect that no one can influence you not to feel what you feel. If surgery would make you feel better about yourself, go for it! But please don't try to take too many years off. The skin-pulled-tight-as-a-drum look is a definite turn-off to most of us guys, and I bet your husband would agree. After the surgery, if ladies talk about you behind your back, let them be envious, not derisive!
January 28, 2015
First of all I am also a guy but just went through a neck and face lift two months ago. I finally decided to do it after thinking about it for some time when I literally stopped recognizing myself in pictures or when I looked in the mirror. Drooping skin and the dreaded turkey neck. I did a lot of research and only wanted to go to a doctor who was tops in his field, who I was fortunate enough to find at Mass General. During the consultation he clarified his process as not stretching the skin, but lifting the muscles that support the skin that had naturally lowered over the years. I can tell you that I'm very happen to have done it as I now "recognize" myself again. I would say that the opinion that matters most is yours...if you know it will make you happier it should be your call. But you should be prepared to deal with the recovery period. For a week after the surgery there's definitely a need for some pain medication, and your face will be swollen and bruised. That should start to get better after the first week. The other thing to know is that parts of your face will be numb for some time as it takes a while for the nerves to regenerate. Anyway whatever you decide, good luck.
Thank you for starting your story on RealSelf! It's always an excellent idea to go on at least two or three consultations. Can you schedule some others while you're waiting for this particular doctor to open up?