30, 5'7, 185#, No Kids but my body looks like it :( Ready to love all of me! Beverly Hills, CA

Genetics aside, my lower tummy area has always...

Genetics aside, my lower tummy area has always been a problem for me. I have no kids, but had a double hernia repair as an infant, leaving me with a pelvic bone scar, and slight dog ear on the "pouch" of stomach fat in my lower tummy. I'm active, play sports, make 70% good food decisions, and still, a large stomach pouch continues to haunt me. I've thought about fixing this for probably 10 years. I'm sick of quickly covering my tummy when my husband touches it, portraying myself as super confident, unless it's something dealing with my tummy super-jiggling (Sex especially), and, missing out on tons of clothes because my tummy. It's overall a big pain.

Now that I am in a better financial place, I'm finally doing a mommy makeover, as my boobs have suffered the brunt of working out, aka, pretty sad little lumps, haha! They are more like triangles than circles, appearing as if they hate each other and moving away from another instead of staying centered.

After researching/meeting 3 surgeons in LA, and 1 a few years ago in my hometown, I finally settled on Dr. Bruno. His level of experience, personality, technique, prior reviews, and photos all lead me to feel at ease and trusting in the outcome. It's still really scary because my head does go to the "Worst case scenarios", the top ones including:
Blood Clots in my left leg (My ankle area is pretty gross due to sports injuries)
My breast implants being rejected by my body
My tummy surgery being a long and painful recovery
The results not being exactly what I am hoping for (A flat tummy area)

I've booked my surgery date for Dec. 17th, as I will have 2.5 weeks off from work, not taking PTO, and can work from home if I still need time, once our office reopens in the new year. I can't fly to NYC for NYE, as Marisol advised I can't fly for 15 days post-surgery, but it's worth it to stay and recover.

Now, it's getting real, and I can see how the "counting down the days" starts once you book your date.
I should have my call this week to schedule my pre-op and go over various items.

I'm still figuring out if I want/need flank lipo- I just want everything to finally fit into my underwear, if that makes sense? Will post pics once I can.

I'm going to create a google doc with a list from everyone here of the items to get. I know a front-zip sports bra is one of them, but I would rather have the items instead of hassling with leaving the house.
This community has been truly helpful, in finding people with similar body shapes, procedures, fears, etc.
Thanks in advance. I know I will have questions and concerns posted here.

Labs done today, pre-op PS appt Wed

Having a trusted friend in the medical field is beyond valuable in going through this experience. I am waiting for her to send me a bill for all the dumb medical questions I have texted her with.
Playing softball, I've taken several impact inuries to my left leg. As a result, I want to make sure my fears of a DVT/blood clot in that leg are somewhat minimized. My best friend, an ER nurse of 10 years, suggested I add two more labs for my pre op bloodwork. Here is the list of what my PS ordered, including the add-ons:

HCS Quil (Or qual, can't tell on the writing)
Added on: D-Dimer, and HKG

Next week I will go for a venous doppler to double check my leg is not high risk for blood clots. Crazy there is a test for most things now!

My husband is joining me to help pick out my breasts and ask the PS any questions. I am starting my list of stuff to buy this week, including front zipping sports bras, the items on the list commonly found here on RS, and especially a walker since I will be hunched over.

With Pre-op this week and labs pulled today, the two next hurdles I am struggling with are:

1- How have others communicated/addressed their surgery to co workers? I feel it's going to be pretty obvious when I return after the holidays with noticeably larger breasts. Keep quiet unless someone directly asks, or proactively tell everyone I am doing this? They will talk about me behind my back and as a manager I don't want it to erode any credibility- unfortunately in our society, doing such things does actually have negative perceptions in the work place and more so as women.

2- My weight. 6 weeks ago, I started Keto, and did great for the week leading up to my world travels. I dropped 3 pounds in 5 days. Now I am finally back and resumed Keto but this leaves me with only 3 weeks to drop as much weight as I can.
A- How have people dropped weight quickly for their surgeries?
B-Has anyone had any problems continuing keto post-surgery since it's high in Protein to help rebuild the body and low in carb which (IMO) would both be good things since you are unable to be highly active for the couple weeks post-surgery.

So many questions. So excited. So nervous and hopeful. UGH!

Pre Op Appt Done- Now, how do you address people's gossip/comments?

Took my husband and met with Dr. Bruno for my pre op so hubby could ask any questions. His questions were more about financial issues (Who pays for fixing her chest if one ruptures, etc).
I was focused on re-visiting the realistic expectations post-surgery; what would I truly look like? He showed me again with his hands where/what would be cut, and pulled. It sounds very promising. I pray I don't have that inter-muscular fat that is much harder to trim off.

After some breast size debate, we settled on three possible "final" options: 450cc, 475, and 500cc. Although I am hoping for a 475 in my left and 500 in my right, I am fine with whatever he decides- he is the professional with this area, not me. My right is about 25-30 cc smaller so we couldn't go much higher than this range due to a 50CC jump after 500 (500 and a 550cc combo, etc) instead of the 25cc increment below 500cc. I pray my upper body workouts (which is where most my strength is) don't restrict the larger size from fitting :(

After going through what I will most likely look like (OMG I may finally be able to wear a bikini bottom) and breast size and trying on the sizer bra, I got my pre op instructions from Marisol. No teas 2 weeks prior, discontinue birth control, etc, along with a list of helpful items to have on hand before surgery. I already scored a loaner walker from a swap group, thanks to facebook and the tips here to get one.

The last thing I don't have an answer for: How have ladies addressed the surgery observations from co workers, friends, etc? My 3 closest girl friends know, my husband, and one co worker. My boss doesn't know, and I'm worried they will... react poorly to me, for lack of a better expression? Plan A would announce to my coworkers in a daily huddle that I am having a boob job (I can just say I lost weight for the TT), or plan B is just tell those maybe I know will gossip and let them do the work for me. What's the most respectable way to tackle this? Ultimately it's my choice so it shouldn't matter... but, the reality is, in a professional environment, as a woman, we are held to a higher level of judgement on our looks.

I've attached what I am hoping to look close to, post-surgery. I have similar structure.
Any input is helpful. Thanks.

The final Countdown!!

I'm now less than 72 hours away from surgery. I emailed questions to the Medical coordinator, asking about anesthesia etc. Prescriptions are all filled, "after" lingerie purchased, and a small group of folks know. I'm taking the upfront approach since I guess they will notice.

Tomorrow, I will not only begin making holiday treats for coworkers, but also do some surgery list shopping. I've seen some great lists here which is what I will use.
I wish we could get a recliner. I will be using the sofa in the living room, and the bed.

I think a walker, toilet ring, and giant body pillow are all "Must haves" from all the lists I've stalked. I just thought of "Wait, what kind of underwear doesn't irritate the scar area from a TT?" I normally wear thongs, and suspect that won't happen after surgery for a while?

Working up until the day before is a blessing and a curse. I'm so swamped with work and am stressed things will mess up for the few days I am really drugged up after surgery. I'm thankful for planning this surgery as such because it's prevented me from probably obsessing more than I am now.

Dieting has been hard. I started Keto 3 weeks ago and have dropped 5 pounds, and at least a couple inches, which is good. I've had some alcohol, including a sip or two of whiskey tonight. Not sure what the suggestions on that are but I realized it probably can't help my body so I gave my drink to my husband and ordered a kale cucumber celery juice instead ;) I won't be as low as I wish for surgery, but about 10 pounds above what I was shooting for. I need to be okay with that.

I have to tell my parents. Write an "I love you letter" to my husband. Get all the items on the regular surgery list. Finish all my work. Get the fridge ready for husband to cook, and pre-clean the house. My husband will just work from home while I am recovering, which is a blessing.

The worry thoughts are starting, damnit! What if my boobs look really weird? What if my body rejects them? What if they realize I have the fat in my tummy that's between the muscles? What if I start bleeding too much? I've done every test under the book (EKG, Blood clotting, etc) but still worry I am going to be that weird story where the doctors say "Well we don't know what happened". I know I shouldn't, but I tend to not get excited until something has successfully been completed. Another example, is taking a trip. I won't get excited about being somewhere until the plan has landed in that new location. Too many variables until then!
I feel so scatter brained right now. Anxious to meet the Anesthesiologist before the surgery so I can research them and their answers but I don't know if I will be given that opportunity.

I took some before pics. Ugh. Hate them.
I will also do some before pics, in some clothing that I hope I can finally wear, for my "after".

Man. All the weird worries and time keeps ticking down.

Last 36 Hours- What items or things did you prep that are must haves or realized you should have?

Worked a 12 hour shift today, picked up my walker, and got some quest (protein bars) along with 4 protein shakes via Amazon fresh, today.
Talked to my medical coordinator, and was supposed to call her back to pay our balance in full and go so swamped with work I just couldn't step away :(
I'm coming to terms with just not having enough time to get all I need done, done. No holiday treats made, and yesterday is my last day in the office. I really wanted to do something, I have some cool ideas on my pinterest, damnit! Ha.
If I can leave work early I may still send some treats with my husband on Wednesday since we work together. Holiday shopping isn't done, nothing is wrapped, but thank god for a laptop and the internet for the next week.
My medical coordinator advised to remove the gel polish from my nails. I'm bummed about this because I love this manicure and color- it's super dense pink glitter! First world problems though, I am sure my issues could be much worse so I will oblige. Has anyone been able to keep their polishes on? What's the reason for wanting them off?
More random questions:
What type of clothing is best to wear for the first week? I saw I have to wear warm, loose fitting items for post-surgery from the center but what types of clothes have worked for going out in public while recovering?
What did you do to prep your house?
What items did you wish you had but didn't at first?
How do you make yourself not sneeze? (Heard that hurts like a mother)
How is it for pets being on your lap during TT recovery?

Going to re-read my instructions again and look on Amazon for a toilet donut. Time to sleep before my final day with this droopy tummy and sad boobs.

What did you do with last night before surgery?

Surgery is at 11am tomorrow.

Walker is ready in the entryway.
Bottled waters, pineapple juice, coconut water and greens smoothie, all in fridge.
Magazines and pillows on sofa.
Rice cakes and protein bars on the bar for a snack.
List of projects for the week to get done (make holiday treats, please?) on my desk.
Various supplies ordered through Amazon, now en route. Reading the female urinal reviews was a kick.

Ready, nervous, excited, scared... everything.
Worrying I forgot something.

Taking my polish and all piercings out tomorrow am.
Ready to not have my tummy stick out further than my boobs ;)

My lovely lady lumps: all done w surgery!

Surgery was at 11am. Or so I thought.
Arrived at ten till, was called back around 1130am.
Put my belongings into a locker and waited for the nurse. Eventually the nurse arrived, checked my vitals, and asked me medical questions. After what felt like a long time, Dr Bruno came in and marked me and we talked sizing one last time, and took the before pics.
After going over my file with the anesthesiologist, I was soon taken back for surgery.
I was on the table and out within a few minutes.
Woke up in the recovery room shivering from the anesthesia, but alive, amen! In pain, yes, but nothing completely overwhelming. I told the nurse it was a 7.
I stayed in recovery for about an hour, long enough to not be so groggy, my blood pressure to recover, and go thru post care tips.
I was surprised to wake up in a recovery room with other people. I probably had some vision of it being like my own hospital room. The girl next to me was having allergic reactions to something and it was stressing me out. Haha.
So far the most uncomfortable part was getting into the wheelchair a drink having these drains on top of my vagina. It feels like it's slightly tugging but I know the drains are working. I'm super grossed out by them. My first drain of the drains had a chunk of fat in it. So, so, so. Gross!
I am sleeping on our che lounge tonight and hoping the drains don't fill when I sleep. I seem to be draining a bit which I guess is good?
Peeking at my new body has been really exciting from what I can see! I'm blown away at the concept of waking up to a flat stomach.
Got a call this evening from the doctor to see how I was doing. I have a follow up tomorrow and am praying for the drains out asap.
I've eaten some fresh pork udon as my foodie version of chicken noodle soup. Sipping on chilled coconut water and aquafina has been a saving grace.
Craving popcycles like a mofo right now.
I will consider today a win after successfully peeing into my urinal and not getting pee on myself. Small wins, I tell ya.

Day 1, Post Op: The tenderness sets in

Today was a day of resting, sitting, and laying. Several calls from the staff (Nurses, doctor's office, few others) all calling to check in on me, ask about my meds, how I am doing, etc).
Around noon I got a delivery to my house from Dr. Bruno! An edible arrangement. It arrived at the perfect time since I was hungry and the fruit was very yummy. Super cool of them to do that and send a get well soon card.
Today my armpits boob areas are really sore. I have this sensation that I have super tight elastic cutting into me around the front bra area but I think it's just my incision. The drains are still super annoying. They will randomly tug on my skin and no amount of pain meds will take the pulling of your vagina skin away. I kid you not. Lol.
I had my follow up with the Dr today and he said so far everything looks good. My breasts are really high and look sorta weird, like you can see the implant area on top and then the boob area on the bottom if that makes sense? He said over the next few months the implants will settle down and find their pockets more and the weird look should go away. He removed the protective gause padding that I was wrapped in, and now I just have my girdle bandage thing and the drains. Tape from my breasts was removed as well.
The doctor anticipates I should have my drains removed next Tuesday. I can already tell I am going to hate it. I have walked a little more today and that seems to drain more fluid. Getting onto and off of the cough is my biggest battle so far. I'm rolling around our living room like a gimp in an office chair, but it works, so I will take it.
Been sipping tons of water, coconut water, and pineapple juice. My stool softeners got here tonight, so I'm really going all out with this "Senior citizen" thing now- I've got stool softeners, a walker, a toilet ring, and even a standing female urinal. My husband's amazon account looks like he is a caretaker!
I think I may take a muscle relaxer since the boob pain seems to be pretty intense even after the first hydrocodone. I am too grossed out to look at the rag thing in my belly button but so excited at the same time. We will see if I can finally look at it tomorrow without gagging. Ha!

Day 4, post op: tt feels fine but why does one boob hurt so damn much?!

I've noticed today has felt better for my tummy and moving. It's not a five minute struggle to get off the sofa. I've adjusted to the 6am medicine wake up calls.
Still no bm. I've been taking 1 stool softener a day. I am claiming tomorrow as my day... I'm nervous to use any ab muscles for the bm though. Is that weird or paranoid of me?
I showered today, and didn't realize how much it would help me feel like I'm healing. I tried to get the yellow packing stuff from my bb and noticed it seems "in there" so I left it. Now I'm paranoid the tummy is healing w this fabric around it that is going to hurt badly when it needs removed!
While my drains have slowed, and tummy is overall in good shape, my right breast is killing me. I can still feel the tightness and my muscle relaxer, heating pad or ice still don't help. I've noticed the left boob has sorta dropped some. The right boob still looks weird. My shoulder is super tight from it too. That muscle on top my shoulder meeting the lower neck feels like it's on fire. Not sure how to fix it.
Tuesday is my possible drain removal day. I am not in a hurry but due to holidays I may get them taken out early which dies concern me.
I would type more but damn, my whole right shoulder feels like I got the worst tetanus shot ever. I've attached my day 4 pic with the swollen boobs.

Day 6: Drains out, stitches removed, and finally, a BM!

Today was very eventful, with my 1 week post-op appt!

Got a call as we finding parking, saying my Dr was still in surgery and they guessed it would be another 20 minutes. I was irritated I wasn't told this until I was already on my way, since I took time from work, and parking in LA isn't cheap.
Finally was seen, an hour after my time (At the surgery center, not the DR's practice)- the front desk lady whom I respectfully expressed my frustration with the way they run their systems in devaluing my time and money, ended up being the one also removing my BA stitches and tape, and undressing me. The right breast stitch removal was so painful, it brought me to tears. They had healed into my skin/incision area.

My PS was looking for less than 25cc of fluids in 24 hours w the drains. My left drain was only around maybe 5cc, the right was averaging 26-27 cc the past two nights. The PS decided to take them out today. That was a super weird/gross feeling, the tubes wiggling through my tummy from the top to bottom. I thought the tube was maybe 5cm! I was way wrong. The tube insertion site on top of my vagina seems very irritated but the pulling feeling is no longer an issue with the drain out. Trying to keep an eye on the two holes and their healing.

I had my belly button packing removed, and I am not too happy with the look of my belly button, it's looking very mangled, so I am going to get an earplug or marble.

The Dr showed me how to massage my breasts, and I have been doing that a lot today even with them feeling so tender. I have faith it will allow the right one to loosen up.

Last, when I got back home, I took three soft softeners, and finally had a BM. It was a little painful and concerning because my insides felt all loose and using my ab muscles wasn't an option since they were still acting weird from the tubes moving through/past them.

Removing all that stuff seemed to make me feel much better at home. I was able to sit down further, and even walk around more. I am remembering not to push it though. Pics to come soon.

Going through this whole experience, I've realized we digest things in three chapters, in my opinion:

Ch 1: We are gathering information, evaluating, and preparing- and more so, worrying about the unknown because only so much of this journey is really in our hands. I was worried about what I would look like, what medical risks I was taking, if my leg would cause me a DVT, etc.

Ch2: We are comparing- looking at other before and after pics to see if we are trending towards a similar fate. We are grateful to have lived, with results that look promising thus far, and fearful if they will continue to improve, questioning if this is where we can now gain back more control in shaping the outcome of our results. I was torn with wanting to do things for myself and physically being exhausted by walking, hunched over, to the bathroom.

CH3: We are making small cosmetic corrections (Scar tape, BB shaping, breast massaging, oils, ointments). We are rejoicing in the past reminders of our body's ghost, the former things we couldn't wear because of this lump or bump, and embracing the new confidence of what now works- the world seems like a much wider, bigger place to show yourself off to, even if just to ourselves. I am not here yet but I had a taste of it today when I finally could put underwear on, since the drain removal. Normally, the underwear would fall down onto my lower pelvic bone area, pushed by the movement of my tummy. I love these boyshort panties and was elated to wear them and realize they hadn't moved today! More of this, please.

Here is to more healing and not pushing myself, and the small wins as reminders why these stitches and their tearful removal, albeit, were not in vain, even if disregarded by many as pure vanity.

Day 8: Why do we need shapewear and special bras?

Each day I am feeling stronger and more energetic. I am loving my more defined shape and took some pics today in "normal" clothes. I'm avoiding jeans just yet since I am trying to avoid anything that will irritate the tape over my incision site.

The drain incision sites, and my breast incisions are still pretty red, and I have not put ointment on them yet, just trying to let them heal naturally.

My original surgeon agreement said the cost included all aftercare garments as well- however, I asked if I needed anything besides this white taping binder, and was told there is a shapewear they sell at the office and I need to buy it for 90 dollars. WHAT. THE. HELL.

I looked on Amazon and remembered several hear loved just regular Spanx shapers. I bought two since I figured they will be good to use again, and are half the price of the medical ones but it seems they do the same thing. I have some questions and not sure where to find answers:

-The tape on my scars is starting to come off. What did you use to still cover these, after the original tape? Silicone tape?
-What creams or ointments have helped the skin around the breast tissue not be as stretched?
-What is the reason for using a shaper/binder in the first place?
-How long in the process do I start putting an earplug in my belly button to make it more inny?
-My nipples are SO painfully sensitive now. What helps reduce this?

Merry Christmas and Happy Healing to all!

Day 10: BLOATING, Make it Go away!

Today I showered and then changed into a different compression garment- the surgical binder I was provided just won't stay put. It quickly rides up past my upper hip and then slips up onto my waist, pushing my bra into my incisions more- it was time for a change. I think the garment I'm in now is better but I hope the same level of compression.
Over the past two days or so, I've noticed more and more bloating between my upper abdomen and my mons pubis. I was worried the drains were removed too soon and I think this is why. I know the bloating is common but it feels and looks horrible... The left side also feels like I have liquid between my muscles and my skin. I can move it around more than my right side.

We weren't really provided with many post- op instructions, just a sheet about BA. Aside from my right breast still feeling super firm compared to the left (The right was a smaller breast, and thus, also got 25 cc more) I'm not too worried about the BA stuff. The tummy tuck is the one I am so worried on and I didn't get any instructions or things to look for.

I also realized I don't have my surgeon's cell in case of an emergency :(

I started my BB treatment today- took an earplug, lightly coated it with neosporin, and taped it into my BB. It doesn't really want to go in, but even if it's a placeholder for a little more "inny" until it doesn't last, I will take it.

Mainly I am still recovering but feeling better each day, and standing more upright each day. But... the BLOATING.

How can I get rid of this and prevent the dreaded syringe sucking event? Is it normal for one side to feel weirder than the other between the skin?

I am not sure what else to do aside from drink even MORE water than I am, which would be a crazy amount. Any more or less of something?

Trying to post pics and still getting an error :(

Day 10 Pics (couldn't upload yesterday)

The uploader seems to be working, yay!

I'm hoping the surgeon can fix my dog ear, although he said he can't... I don't understand why not.
Boobs are still super perky and firm! LOL

Starting 2015 with a little worry, and tons of new confidence!

The past week or so has flown by, and I keep forgetting I had my surgery less than 3 weeks ago.
Right at two weeks, I took my surgery tape off of my incision line across my tummy and I was so worried it was going to pull skin with it, or something. It was the opposite, I think all the dried blood under the tape wouldn't have been good to leave on much longer before it started healing to my skin. The tape wasn't ready to come off, but I forged through my fears and removed all of it during one shower. I feel so much better now.

I am still sleeping upright for my breasts, causing my medical binder to ride up right under my boobs which gets uncomfortable. I do have two SPANX products I bought (The one that goes right under my booty like boyshorts is really comfortable just from the cut, but not as high compression so I have only worn that once. The right boob feels like it's starting to settle in, but today I've been worrying now the left one got irritated- the incision has not fully healed after being rubbed raw from my bra, so I sent pics to my ps and he said neosporin twice a day for now. I googled pics of bleeding under the skin and I got so freaked out! Nothing close to those pics yet. I have been using my arms so I got worried I over did it, which is good because it reminded me I am still healing even though I can move.

Had a scare Jan 1 with tons of swelling in my body after drinking beers for NYE. My left ankle showed edema signs, but no where else. I have a best friend nurse and home blood pressure machine which helped, but I paged the doc in the morning of Jan 2 when I still was severely swollen. Elevated my feet and drank more fluids and it went away, mostly. Turns out beer is a bad thing to drink at 2 weeks post op, even though technically I was "allowed to".

I've started using bio oil on my chest and stretch marks right on that upper thigh/pelvis area- I don't recall having these before the surgery and it makes sense since I felt like my skin was super tight. Turns out, it was. I bought scar-away 7" strips on Amazon, which was a good call since there are tons of sizes out there- but I am able to cut the strips horizontally in half, only using one strip to cover my entire scar.

Victoria's Secret Semi Annual Sale started Jan 2nd, and I was there when the doors opened. I couldn't wait to shop for a 38DD bra, and panties I've adored but thought I would never be able to wear. MY UNDERWEAR FINALLY STAYS UP! I will be doing a panty photo session soon and posting. I have fallen in love with the Cheeky Hipster, and Super Low Rise Cheeky Lace Thong. My husband said "Are you sure that's the right size bra?" when I came home (400 dollars later, but worth almost a thousand normally retail) to which I tried it on, and BAZINGA! It fit.

I am packing up some leftover items so we can ship them back unused from my pre-op purchases. The travel urinal, Vitamin C, bed pads, Arnica Montana, and one other thing I forget are all going back. The walker can go too.

I've been walking more and more and eagerly look forward to transforming the rest of my body into a work of art. It's morphed into more of a blob over the past 6 weeks, and laying down and eating didn't really help there. Things are jiggling that didn't before!

All in all, I have an uncontrollable smile when I try on clothes and look in the mirror now, which is worth every penny, even if I end up with a small dog ear on the left. I did watch a video on capsular contraction and OMG I am praying that doesn't happen to me, but because my left boob is tender I can't massage as much right now. I am willing it through positive vibes alone right now.

I'm walking about 98 percent upright now, and my lower back has stopped hurting, no pain meds after about day 9 or so, and I'm returning to work tomorrow a new woman with tons of healing still to go, but bring it on- my cheeky hipster panties and I are ready to rock!

3 Weeks Post Op TODAY!

Crazy to think that around this time only three weeks ago I was in a drugged up, pain-filled world of transitioning to my new body! I still am of course, especially with some recent "worries" but I continue to will it through positive thoughts as much as I can. I've realized how much I do worry instead of encourage my body to heal like the wonderful Awake and many other RS girlfriends.

Some recent "FUN" I've had in recovering:

-My right boob started rubbing against my ribcage/swollen up two days ago. I pushed on my breast at work and I could only describe it as a squeaking feeling inside my upper chest. I've been told this is due to fluids in the tissue and it normally goes away. When I tilt my body sometimes it makes that feeling. I have an appointment Friday.
-My left incision area just refuses to heal under my breast. I've been putting neospirin and gauze so the sports bra doesn't rub it. I want to start massaging, damnit!
-I have a stitch under my TT line that feels like it will pierce my skin if I push hard enough. Such a weird feeling! I noticed it when applying new layer of silicone tape (scar away) like I do every two days.
-Pretty sure the tiniest of areas on my TT line on the left side opened up, but ever so small.

On to the fun stuff:

I really like panties and bras now. Every morning, I put on a new style of underswear, snap a pic, and think "HELL YES".
Victoria will have no secrets after I am done with my shopping.
The few folks that do know about my BA and TT have said things like "Those are large and in charge" or "With all respect (one of my guy friends) those things look amazing, and your curves are really proportioned now" - every day I put something on, I think two things: "When will my boobs heal and drop?" and "It was worth every penny"... and then grin.

I am really happy with the decision to get surgery during winter, and over the break when no one was in the office. It's allowed me to recover and work from home, and hopefully I will be able to start working out and making things jiggle less, in the next few weeks, so I can look and feel amazing by June. The thought of wearing a regular-person swimsuit for the first time in my life, scares me but excites me. NO MORE GRANNY SKIRTS IN THE POOL, BITCHES.

Please send good vibes to my boobs for rapid healing and I will continue to do the same for anyone needing some encouragement!
(Panties Days 1-3 attached, ha!)

Happy healing!

She who has TT should not KBBQ

Went to all you can eat KBBQ (Korean Barbecue) tonight, and I am regretting that choice. I'm doing the Keto diet, see, so I pigged out on tons of meats without even thinking about salt.
I'm bloated like a juicy blueberry in mid-summer.

Starting tomorrow I am going to switch my diet from the Keto (Super high fat, low carb) to just a balanced diet like the first two weeks of lean meats, low fat, some carb, tons of fresh produce.
I think my body is telling me it needs it too, and i am going to listen to it.
I am starting to get really tired around 4pm, super sore around my upper body from sitting and typing or talking in meetings all day. I now this surgery compression garment works but why does it have to ride up or chafe so much?

I have a doctor appointment tomorrow to go over my implant rubbing my ribcage, my stitch poking my skin, and my breast incision not healing. I'm just all sorts of broken!

Happy healing to all!!

The Ups and Downs

Visited my doctor last Thursday for a 3 week PO and to look at the few issues/concerns, including my left breast incision, the rubbing of my implant against my ribs, and the stitch poking my skin from underneath.
According to the surgeon, all is well, thankfully. However, I don't think I can keep using the neosporin he is saying to use. It is keeping my area red and just not healing, so I don't see the point of still using it. The incision is at a point where it looks like it just needs to be left alone, but how do I do that when I need to wear a darn bra all the time?!
My irritating stitch under my skin is actually a knot to my stitches. He said it should dissolve within the next weeks to months. If others make their way out of my skin I am to pull them with clean tweezers. I am praying I don't have to, or I will pass out. Seriously.
The fluid in my breast causing the squeaking has passed, for now! Yay, positive thoughts!

I tried some jeans on this weekend, and I was really frustrated to learn they barely fit/I can barely button them, leaving them super uncomfortable if I did try to wear them. How can I go through all of this to only come out wider? I really do think I have gained a little bit in width because my stomach was pulling some of the fat on my sides down, and once that was removed, then flattened, it had to go somewhere- but the Dr said I didn't have enough to really lipo.

I am pretty bummed about this :( Not sure what else to do. The front of my tummy looks great but I have more pulling at the sides of the jeans now. I don't see how I can be THAT swollen.

The husband had a serious talk with me about my spending since the surgery- turns out I have been a little too excited to show off my new body, to the sum of 1.5k... that was a shock when he added it all up. Also, I have learned to not buy things on Amazon when in the first two weeks post op when on back relaxers. I looked at some stuff and thought "There had to be a pinterest idea that inspiried me to buy three bags of shaved coconut meat, right?"

All in all, it seems like I am making a tiny bit of progress, I think my boobs are slowly dropping but they still feel super firm. I am going to start pushing myself to walk and get rid of this extra weight from the holidays and surgery recovery. Maybe that will help the jeans go back to how they were.

Ups and downs are good, it's a way to remember all the struggles of this experience and keeps things interesting!

Hurry up and wait

Just passed my 1 month last week, today is actually my 5 week, crazy!

My left breast incision remains irritated and open- I've started using aquaphor instead of neosporin and have an appointment tomorrow to see what else we can do. This is just getting ridiculous. I am following all instructions. So why is the left one suddenly taking longer to close up finally? I am asking for a culture to make sure I don't need antibiotics.

My breasts seem to have some jiggle in them now, which is cool. I had a dream last week after sleeping in a light cotton bra with only light support, that my left breast was down to my BB when I woke up in the dream- WOA! Not cool, dreams. Not cool. I did notice how far apart my boobs separate when I lay down? Is that normal? My breasts were already not super close together but this seems extreme. I hope I didn't ruin something somehow.

I have new stretchmarks- I was never told I could possibly get new stretchmarks from pulling my skin. I mostly see them in the upper thigh area right below my pelvis and TT scar, on the hip area.

TT is looking okay, I still have that pesky stitch knot that pokes around every day or so, and I've started putting a circular bandage over it just in case it decides to poke through instead of dissolving. I've noticed I have a slightly larger/different shape pocket of fat on my left hip area than I do on the right. This was not there before. I am bummed. Hoping it goes away with losing the 10 pounds I am up from surgery.

I am starting to walk around at work more, and also probably going for my first actual "cardio walk" if my breast feels up to it. It's really frustrating to look in the mirror, want to really show off my body, and have these limitations- a wider shape now, a breast that I have to guard from sweat, and rubbing, etc since it's still open, and now figure out how not make it worse. I still have to wear sportsbras and they start hurting the area between my shoulders and neck by evening :(

I finally laugh and use my tummy muscles more! Coughing is still the devil but at least I can use my tummy. Trying to see all the good but this week feels like it's mostly a step back for me with limited incision healing and all things considered. However, I am alive, think I appear in good health, and, I have a flat tummy. I just keep reminding myself of this as I endure.

I've attached some pics of my incision over the past week or so and my body's healing :)

Shape changed, disappointed, and emotional

I've been looking at myself every time I undress or get out of the shower.
I've told my PS a time or two post surgery that I was not expecting the results to turn out poorly regarding changing my shape. This remains.
I've slowly noticed several things all adding up over the past almost two years now that make me feel like maybe I did make a mistake and should have just been happy with the body I had.
I've increased my workouts to five or six days a week. I've brought myself down to the same weight I was day of surgery.
I'm still unhappy.
I shouldn't have a wider hip shape than before. I shouldn't have more fat jiggling around when I try to run at the gym, in the back. I shouldn't have these extra stretch marks simply replacing the original ones that were cut out during surgery. It seems like all my fat is gathering right along the incision line, but on the backside and outter hip area. My incision is pretty low so it's not helping. My pants don't stay up. My ass looks larger. I have a weird side muffin top now.

I think my only option, which I'm also upset my PS didn't do initially, is the shaping lipo during the same time as my TT and BA. I plan to see him in a couple weeks and continue this plan, but I worry I may be chasing this endless dream that is simply unobtainable. We'll see.
Beverly Hills Plastic Surgeon

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