Upper & Lower Blepharoplasty, Fat Injection, & Laser Resurfacing - Beverly Hills, CA

When I posted my last update two days ago, I was feeling depressed and down about myself for a number of reasons, and not liking the effect of the Botox around my eyes and feeling freakish.

The next day, I felt much better and realized that I didn't look as freakish as I was feeling.

I was also able to Skype again with dear Dr. Parsa yesterday. I want to stress that Dr. Parsa has been so incredibly responsive and immediately available every time I have a concern. And every time I've talked to him about any worries (and if you have been following my journey, you know I've had PLENTY!) I feel so reassured.

Dr. Parsa reminded me that:

1. The Botox will wear off. Some people like the softening it provides to the crow's feet; others do not like the "frozen smile" look. We now know I am in the latter category. It will wear off in a few months, and I never have to do it again.

2. Another laser treatment around the eyes should further tighten the skin and should help with the larger bag I have under the right eye (which is due to the biofilm infection I had there). We will do this in August at the six-month mark. The first laser treatment was so easy, I am not worried about this.

3. He pointed out that I am particularly vulnerable to fluid retention in my face, which accounts for the dramatic differences in my day-to-day appearance. He stressed the importance of avoiding salty and processed foods, making note of which foods cause increased fluid retention, and trying to sleep on my back.

3. Dr. Parsa pointed out that the problems I'm having are due to UNDER-correction, which are much easier to address than OVER-correction. One reason I chose Dr. Parsa to do my surgery is because of his emphasis on being conservative to get natural results. A little more skin can always be removed, or a little more fat/filler can be injected. But if he had removed too much skin, or over-injected fat, I would really be in a predicament! He reminded me again that, if necessary, we can take a little more skin off the left eyelid after a full year has passed. He stressed that it is a simple and routine procedure that can be done under local anesthesia with very little downtime. That was the biggest reassurance!

Dr. Parsa told me that just prior to our Skype conversation, he had performed a seven-hour revision surgery on a patient who had traveled from China to address problems of over-correction. This reminded me how lucky I am to be experiencing problems of under-correction, and what good hands I am in, since Dr. Parsa is known worldwide for his expertise in performing complicated revision eyelid surgery.

Through the sharing my journey, I have wanted to give an honest picture of the emotional ups-and-downs that can accompany the long healing process after eyelid surgery. I have been so grateful to others who've gone before me and shared their journeys. And I am so grateful to this community for lending an ear in my times of doubt, being supportive, and reassuring me that my results look great. Thank you to all who have commented and sent me private messages. Those of you who have been through this understand better than anyone else can.

I realize now that by constantly scrutinizing every little imperfection, I have failed to see the forest through the trees. When I am able to stop looking microscopically at my eyes, and see my whole face, I realize that I look much improved and more youthful, for which I am grateful.

In spite of my worries, I am so glad that I chose Dr. Parsa as my surgeon. He has been incredibly skillful, kind, and patient. He spent an enormous amount of time thinking about my unique case ahead of time, and addressing my concerns afterwards. He has never made me feel as though any of my questions were silly (though I know now that many were!). I feel 100% reassured that all will be well.

He also reminded me that my results are due in part to my unusual case with the biofilm infection and my particular anatomy.

If you have recently had eyelid surgery, or are considering it, it is important not to compare your results to others' here, since every surgery and every patient's anatomy is unique. Be prepared for many months of emotional ups-and-downs. It has been four months now, and I still experience day-to-day changes in my appearance. Most importantly, know that you will need to give it time and BE PATIENT. (Easier said than done.) Thank you, all, for listening and being here.

(Just posted three photos taken at approximately 3 months (pre-Botox), since I never updated at the 3-month mark.)

I haven't updated my review in a long time because I didn't want to dwell on my worries, and I wanted to give myself a chance to heal before judging my results. I was hopeful that by the three-month mark that my asymmetry would have improved, but now at four months, the asymmetry that was noticeable immediately after surgery is still present.

My left eye still looks smaller and the bag under my right eye is still much more pronounced. I have also have a thick, visible scar at the inner corner of my left eye (despite daily use of Biocorneum scar gel), and puckering of skin at the inner corners of both eyes.

I saw my doctor for a three-month follow up last week and he recommended Botox to my frown lines and crow's feet, which he thought might add some improvement. He recommended another laser treatment at the six-month mark, and suggested that, if necessary, some additional skin could be removed from my left eye after a full year post-surgery. He also suggested trying Restylane again to address the still hollow tear trough under my right eye, but after my biofilm infection, I am naturally fearful of taking that chance again. He feels that the infection is gone and that the chance of another of another biofilm infection is small. He said the risk with another fat transfer is permanent lumps and bumps.

Now that the Botox has taken effect, I feel like it has made things even worse, and the asymmetry is now more pronounced. I've had Botox before to my crow's feet and didn't like it. I feel like it makes my smile look frozen and fake. My mouth is smiling, but my eyes are not. Since the Botox, several people have told me I look tired (not what I want to hear after spending $10,000 on cosmetic procedures to improve my eyes). My eyelids feel heavy and droopy.

I am so sad and depressed right now. I wish I had never started this whole snowball effect by getting Restylane injected to my tear troughs in the first place. I wish I had just been able to accept my normally aging eyes, and appreciate the beauty of my wrinkles. Every attempt to make things look better after the complications I experienced from the Restylane, has only seemed made things worse.

I am reluctant to post this because I like my doctor so much. He is kind and caring, and always available whenever I have a concern. I am grateful to him for removing the last of the infected Restylane and freeing me from the symptoms of the biofilm infection.

I am trying to hold on to hope that in time I will eventually have a satisfying result, but I have spent the past two years feeling constantly self-conscious about my eyes. I am weary and disgusted with myself for spending so much time thinking about my appearance instead of more important things.

Sometimes I look in the mirror, and I think my eyes look great and don't see any asymmetry and feel happy. Other times I look in the mirror and am shocked that one eye looks half the size of the other, and I get anxious and depressed. I don't know if my eyes are changing or my perception is changing. It's like that optical illusion where if you look at a picture one way it like an young woman, and if you look at it another way you see an old woman.