I've decided YES! But parts of me says that I'm...
I've decided YES! But parts of me says that I'm being vain and I should be happy with my natural look. .. But of course having no breast does not make me happy. My husband and I have been going at it back and forth but finally he has agreed to stand behind me 100%.
He says he's afraid I will become a life long patient. Me too, and that's why I'm quite hesitant. But when I look at myself in the mirror, I don't feel like a woman. I feel down because the breast I once had deflated after nursing my 2 kids for about a year and a half each.
I've grown obsessed with searching the web for breast augmentations and learned so much that I kind of scared myself.
But I want them and I know I will be happy with them.
When I was nursing, my breast filled up with so much milk and it looked amazing!
If I do end up getting them, I would want to look that way. Will post pics when I find some!
When I was nursing
I liked my boobs when I was nursing because they looked sexy.
But I never was able to enjoy them because it was filled with milk.!!
I'd like my boobs to look like that again.
The Reverse Psychology Techinque
If you're having trouble convincing your spouse, here 'a what I did. ..
Of course he'll say no at first because to him you are not at all the type to get a boob job.
But hey! Things change. And will he really understand? Who knows. I think all girls who lack a little rack would love some, even if they are in denial.
So anyways, I somehow convinced him to say YES. Then when we went for the consultation weeks later, he flipped out and it was the big NO again. Then when I told him I didn't care what he thought, and I was going to get them anyway, he basically stopped talking to me for the rest of the day. And we were both miserable in boobless hell.
Then the very next morning when I woke up, I told him that I decided not to get them because I cared about his feelings And didn't want him to be unhappy.
Then all of a sudden, his mood flipped to unbelievably cheery and when we went out for breakfast that morning, he told me that he was with me 100%, and he wants me to be happy.
That's the reverse psychology technique.
Weight: 110 lbs
Age: Dirty thirty
Current bra size: 34A
Desired bra size: small C cup
Mother of 2 ( 4yr old and 1 yr old)
Breast fed both children for 1 yr and a half.
Decided on silicone under the muscles... But not sure what amount of cc's.
It would probably be moderate plus profile.
I hear that you should always go bigger but I think a C cup is probably even too big for my frame.
I mean I breast fed my 4 yr old for a year and a half and my 1 yr old for a year.
simple math. DAAAAAAA
A little Closer
Today I bit the bullet and called the office to set a date. Left a deposit and now I'm freaked out!!!!!
Applying for credit
So there's a company that most surgical institutes use, it's called CareCredit. They offer 0% if you qualify for up to 18 mths and also have extended terms with quite a high rate. But some surgeons aren't signed up with the 0% shorter term plans so here's what I did to get the 0% financing for 18 mths.
First of all I was going to pay for it cash in full but doing that just makes me feel so guilty. Making payments makes me feel like I didn't pay so much for them. It's psychological.
I went to a few credit card websites offering a 0% introductory rate and it started from 6 mths. Then after doing a little more browsing and research, I found Citibank that offered 0% introductory rate for 18 mths and BINGO, that was it! I applied online real quick and got approved in seconds.
4 wks count down. Let it begin!
I was really scared when I first started this journey but now I'm a lot more comfortable because of everyone's stories. Thanks ladies!!!
My date is set for Dec 3rd and my pre- op is Nov 18th. Excited and scared as you all are :) but can't wait to enjoy them!
I just don't know what medical bra to buy. I went on line and found a bra that was really cute and good looking for a surgical bra but don't know what size to buy because I'm a 34a now and want to be a 34small c at the end of the rainbow. Should I buy a 34c or 34b? Because I still want to fit b size bras. I just hope I don't end up any bigger than a small c. In that nature, I'm a little freaked out. Don't want it to look fake even if it is.
At work I'm the type of person who everyone talks to about their personal lives. I hope no one ask about them. Because I might just tell the truth.
When I was nursing, a few of our customers thought I had a boob job.
That was pretty funny.
There's this one guy at my work that is so noisy and annoying. I really hope he doesn't say anything inappropriate because I will slap him.
Now that the day is around the corner, I'm just really anxious! I've been wearing 2 padded bras to work so I could gradually ease my boobs in without people noticing. Lol
And I'm working out really hard so I could create some muscle memory for my recovery time because it'll be a few weeks till I'm able to work out again.
My sister has some implants and she says that her confidence level went from zero to way beyond.
But she says one of her girlfriends flipped and became a conceited bitch.
I hope I don't become a bitch.
Last night I had a dream I had the implants but they were weird. I guess I didn't know that I had them and let them develop capsular contraction so when I looked in the mirror, they looked deformed. Then I started massaging them and they went back to normal. My breast were also humongous in this dream. They were bad humongous and I was embarrassed.
Talking bout a bad dream!
3 wks countdown
Time is flying by so quickly! Now I'm doing all I can to get in the best shape possible because I won't be able to work out for I don't know how long.
I read so many stories! I hope I turn out to be one of those quick recovery stories!! I did give birth to my daughter naturally. That was a bitch! No drugs no epideral.
I even bought some clothes that I'm hoping to look better in!
I remember when my breast filled up with milk the first time I had a baby. I was so confident and actually felt like a woman.
I think not having big breast all my life made me into a tom boy. It also made me look younger than I actually am.
I can't wait to get my new set!
It's funny, after I have them, I'll be able to buy cheap bras that don't cost so much.
I had my pre-op today...and I was totally ready and confident walking through the doors but after they gave me all this damn paperwork to read and sign, I came back to reality again and got freaked out with all the risk involved. ..then I looked at my hub and didn't want to share any negatives with him because we all know where that would go.
Anyways I said I was going to do it so I signed everything :) happy camper.
The lady went over the things not to do before the surgery like eating, drinking and smoking, blah blah blah.
She also offered me free Botox and Latisse and was shocked when I said no thank u. Actually I don't know if she was offering it for free or trying to upsell it.
Then I met with Dr. Kim, the business man and went to the clerks out in front to pay my balance.
Boring as that!
The fun part for today was when I went out to walmart and bought some sports bras. I found a whole bunch for really cheap-- it was awesome !!
Well, I will continue the waiting game.
I really hope I don't get sick. I guess it's hard to get your girls done this time of year because the odds of you getting sick increases.
My doc said I'll have to reschedule if I get sick. I hope I don't. Or if I do, I hope it goes away by the 3rd.
My boss came up to me and said that he heard I was going on a massive Stay-cation. He thought it was kind of weird so I added that I may end up going somewhere.
I'm not planning on anyone finding out. Although there is a Christmas party coming up at the Roosevelt. People might find out there because I bought a dress that is sheer around the boobs. Lol. I'll post it later. I could do a before and after shot with it :)
Hope everyone is well
3days away!!!!!!!!! Sooo nervous!!!!!!!!
I am sooooo nervous. I knew that if I didn't think about getting them done, time would just breeze by and my surgery date would be here, and now I'm only 3 days away!!!
When I think about it, I get scared, nervous and could barely exhale.
It's like a pain in my heart, dull but aching. I have that broken hearted feeling except I'm not broken hearted. Just scared shitless!!
Actually I was really scared too when I was pregnant. I used to watch those labor videos and freaked myself out. Really kind of scared of the pain and bummed because I won't be able to lift my kids for awhile.
My four year old and my one and 1/2 yr old are really close to me and are very clingy.
Well actually I'm really attached to them.
I'm just so stressed out. I know I want this because I paid for them already.
Please someone give me words of wisdoms. Actually not wisdom because I really don't need that but more words of courage and strength.
I'm weak sauce right now:(
Big day tomorrow!!
Well I got over my fear. Now I'm just going with it like if it was just a dr.'s Appt with a big surprise.
My hub swears he is nervous and scared out if his wits but that's just him making this about him again. Lol. Trying to steal my shine. Lol
After work today I went to pick up an antibacterial body wash for tomorrow's shower.
I'll post pics when it's all said and done.
Well I am officially in the club!!
Surgery was on the 3rd at 130pm but they called me to see if I wanted to go in sooner because the patient before me was prego. Lol so I did.
Checked in. They took me in right away and I gave them a urine sample to make sure I wasn't prego either.
They had me wear some funky white surgical socks with disposable blue medical underwear and a mumu. Lol
The nurses that were there were so friendly and helpful. When people write about dr. Kim's staff, they're referring to his nurses because there's a huge personality difference between the two.
Anyways after showing Dr. Kim the pics, he said I wanted a medium C but I tool him I wanted to stay towards the smaller side.
Went in on the surgery bed and fell sleep with the anesthesia and woke up to the nurses saying "wake up beautiful! Oh you are so beautiful but you have to wake up, and breathe!" Don't hold your breathe! Wake up!!
I woke up and I was seeing doubles so they told me I could sleep some more.
I couldn't feel the boobs but at night when the anesthesia wore off, it was painful. But I could stand pain. More like pressure. The only real hard thing was that I had to pee a lot. Like every hour. And every time my hub would help me up to use the bathroom, I would feel like vomiting.
The next worming I really needed a pain killer pill. I asked for Norco because Vicodin doesn't really do much for me.
After taking it, I was able to sleep and carry on with the pain.
Post pics later!!
Bought a bra without padding !
And it was great! Of course i can't wear it yet. I still have to wear a tight ass sports bra.
Officially 4 days post. Weird.
I thought I was 5 days post but today is Saturday and I had surgery on Tuesday. Lol.
I had a real tough time eating yesterday. Every time I would lift my arm to feed myself, I would pull a muscle near my neck. I thought my range of motion was a lot better but because of all the moving I'm not suppose to do, it's made me sore and feel more discomfort when I sleep.
I'm tempted to use pain mess but I hate medication. So I will deal with the soreness and pain.
Hope everyone is doing well in their journey. :)
1 wk post
swelling's gone down a little bit but they're still sore. maybe a little more sore because of all this massaging.
I made a rule to myself that every time I go to the bathroom, I massage just so it'll become a habit.
my follow up appt is tomorrow. I'll find out if I've been massaging correctly.
Post pics later! Hope everyone is well. !!
My boobs totally shrunk!
I thought at day 3 and 4 that my boobs were too big because of the swelling but I think most of the swelling is gone and now I miss the swollen boob look damnit!! Lol.
I mean originally all I really wanted was a small C but I guess I finally know what boob greed is.
For sure no one will be able to tell I got them done at work.
How much more will they shrink???? I hope not anymore. Dr. Kim said it'll take 2 wks but I'm hoping it'll stop NOW!!!!
2nd post follow up
Well my 2nd post follow up appt went pretty good. The Dr said I'm healing well and he took off my stitches but I guess I was massaging completely wrong. He said I really need to get in there and massage to move the implants around. His grip was a lot different than mine. I was being extra careful and delicate but I was suppose to grab my boobs really firmly and massage!! Well I guess now I know. But now I'm sore for all that massaging.
He also recommended another type of massage I could do in a wk. I'll tell you about it when it happens!!
10day post and I feel great!!
Today would make it the big 10!!
I feel good and this morning when I woke up, I didn't have too much pain. Very very minimal! But last night I did pop a pain killer say I could relax.
Here's some pics. Hope everyone is well!!! Xoxo
OFFICIALLY 2WEEKS POST
This is weird. I feel my boobs look so good for being only 2 wks post. Although it did lose mass from swelling going down. I wish I had gone bigger but I guess I can save that for another time if I ever need a revision in the future... I'll probably go to a full C : )!!! Right now is a small C. I'm really small framed.
My boobs are totally soft and squishy. They are amazing! I am happy and say that the surgery was totally worth it!
From waking up everyday and not wanted to see yourself naked and having to put on double padded bras everyday ...this changed everything!!
I went dancing the other night, and even though I wasn't given the green light to do any cardio or exercise, I felt good.
I think after that first week, recovery is a lot easier. But I still haven't lifted my children because I'm sure internally, everything is completely healed yet. I haven't lost sensation in my areola, but because swelling has gone down and numbness is going away, I now can feel the incision and I feel pain here and there.
I also had sex and it felt great! Was I given the green light on that? Hell no. But I was so comfortable being topless in front of my hub that I went for it and I think I may have been turned on a little bit more because of having boobs. LOL
Recovery is going well. I hope for all my friends here that recovery is smooth for them too!!
Here's some picture updates. Sorry, I don't take good pics.
Shocking ! I fit a 32D...perfect!
So I've been dieing to go get measured at Victoria's Secret to see what my bra size is but a little hesitant because after the swelling of my boobs going down, I just felt that they looked like a regular B cup...which is fine. But I asked the doc for a C. So I just didn't want to get disappointed.
Anyways, after work, I finally went! I picked out 34B bras... And OMG, they were all too tight! They made my boobs look even bigger!!!
The nice girl there measured my chest and said I should be wearing a 32D or 34C.
I tried both and the cups fit perfectly but the 32D gave me more support because The back didn't keep going up.
I asked her if she thinks Victoria's Secret sizes are a little bit exaggerated. She said no because it's all based on measurements. WHAT EVER! I could fit a 32D...Awesome!!!
Here's some pics!!
DD's are perceived to be 2 D cups put together. Lol
I just realized that because I never had boobs, and now having boobs... I didn't know jack about boobs before.
When we think of DD's, we automatically think they're going to be gigantic but they're not huge, especially if your frame is so small. Like now I can fit a 32d but if u saw me in person, u would think I wear a size b bra because the implant is so proportion to my frame and body.
I don't know, it still feels weird that I fit a D bra perfect. And I don't look it. Is it just me??? Is it boob greed? I guess what I'm trying to say is.... DAMNIT! I wish I had double D's!!!!
4 weeks today YAY!!
So I didn't take a nude pic or one with a bra today because well...I think my boobs look the same. : P
I also think they look pretty natural even though they're faker than Barbie dolls. Lol
I'm so used to them like they were here all this time.
The funny thing is, I still look small when I have clothes on... And I get kind of sad when I look at them like I should have gone bigger. Then When I take off my clothes and see my boobs and get happy again.
I've been weird lately,,,,
I just want to try on bras all day.
Had my 1mth post op appt
My appt was at 5:30 PM but I got there kind of early at around 4 because I was bored and when I walked in, the first thing I saw was a guy maybe in his mid 20's, early 30's and the first thing I thought was,,, "is he getting his boobs done too??" I know, I'm a Moron! Then it came to me that he was probably waiting for his girlfriend inside or maybe someone else. lOl.
Anyways back to the boob book,...Dr. Kim said I looked great and felt my breast and told me that they were nice and soft,,, but they could be softer. So I'm already massaging a lot, I guess I'll double it up. He said to keep up the massaging because they could still end up to be rocks on my chest. Eeeewwwwww!!! I hope I take good care of them like I'm suppose to. He said I could wear underwire bras and do cardio and drink alcohol so that was good news. I always get kind of nervous when I see him because I know he's going to squeeze my boobs. But he won't have to squeeze my boobs for another month and a half so I'm good on that.
Anyways, I've accepted my size and decided to be happy with them. !!
5 wks Post
I posted an update earlier today but it looks like it never made it. :(
It's okay. It just says things like, I love - I love- I love my boobs!
Funny thing is that I'm getting pain here and there in my breast. Kind of like a stinging sensation. Doesn't hurt like crazy but it is annoying sometimes. It comes and goes. I get it more in my left breast.
Anyways, so ever since I gotten my new boobs and wanted them bigger, I realized that this is the perfect size for me. If you're wearing a normal bra under your clothes, your boobs look totally bigger! The sports bra don't justify your size at all.
I've been weeding loose buttoned blouses to work every day and it's getting boring. So today I tried wearing a tight shirt and I looked marvelous but I changed back into my loose blouse because everyone would be able to tell that change. Damn it! I have to break them in slowly so people won't figure out I got them done during my vacay. Lol
Anyways, I'm hungry as he'll and have no food in the fridge!
Here's a side view body shot
I'm wearing a sports bra under my shirt. The projection is minimal but it looks proportion to my height and size. :)-- I think.
Today I went to work out with my bro.. And he does not know about my boobs. He couldn't tell either thank god! Anyways we worked on legs today and I went really low on my weights. I usually go heavy but I told him that I haven't worked out since before the holidays and I'm just weak. Lol. Looked like a total wimp.
Anyways when we were in the parking garage, my brother looked at the sign that was advertising on the wall. He started laughing, then he said, " hahah!! The art of plastic surgery?!!"" "Hahah!! Art?"
I was like, yeah- if they're making you look good, he'll yeah it's art! Lol.
Anyways, I still have a stinging pain from time to time. Nothing crazy. But sometimes my nipples get numb and all of a sudden they're sensitive. Does anyone feel this at 6-7 wks post? Other than that, I feel great and my boobs are extra soft and they look pretty good. I told a friend today and she didn't even know. She was a lesbian so she totally loved them. Lol
7wks post damnit.. Feels longer!
Seems like it's been forever but it's only been 7wks. 8wks next Tuesday. I feel the same. Although I still get my stinging pain from time to time in my boobs.
I was being really bummie at home right now but I just remembered to post a pic. I normally don't match hot pink with army green. Lol
Anyways I'm really confused with size. My ribcage measures 27 inches and my bust 32 inches. Different websites says different shit! What's the real deal???
Boobs look good. I'm glad I didn't go bigger. I'm tiny. Here's a photo
I am 12 wks post!
What can I say?? I love my breast! They look great, they feel great and they solved my secret low self esteem issue I had. The pain was worth it. Actually, the pain didn't traumatize me like giving birth. Lol
I think I want to get sized again just to make sure they stayed the same size.
Because I have boobs now, I do feel like I have to take care of myself even more and be as feminine as I can be. Keep my waist in line and keep my butt proportion to my boobs. That means exercise.
My last check up was last wk. dr said those stinging sensations I've been getting is just my nerves coming back. They're really minor but I remember like last month it was bothering me big time!!
Anyways, gotta share a story. Yesterday, I walked in to the place I worked and I heard some mumbling coming from the guys in back of me, so I said, "What?"
They pointed at a race car that was parked outside. So I didn't think anything of it and walked in my office. Then later, one of the other guys told me that that guy that was mumbling something said that I thought him and some other dude was checking out my butt. What a fuckin doosh bag! I was not even thinking that. Some guys are so unreal as to what they know of girls. He thought that I thought he was checking me out. That pisted me off so much because I hate that guy at my work. How the hell would he know what I'm thinking.
Before, he would always come up to me and hug me and I would tell him not to touch me. Why would you try to hug a married woman everyday at work? I was so close to turning it in with HR. So inappropriate. He used to get me so uncomfortable that every time I saw him in the morning before entering the building, it would put me in a bad mood and you can see it in my face. So he would come up to me and tell me to smile. He didn't get the hint that I wasn't happy to see him every damn day!!! Sorry I'm lashing out. I just had to get this out.
Anyways I hope all your beautiful ladies are well. :) deuces!!
Had to post this pretty bra!
Got it from Victoria's Secret! Man!
Okay, so the bikini I chose isn't so lovely because it scrunches at the bottom but, just wanted to give an update on how they are at 6mths.
Basically, they're the same. Lol. You get used to them. I did notice that my left boob is slightly higher than my right but nothing's perfect. lol I also can feel my left boob more than my right-- if u know what I mean.
Oh .. And I can finally feel full sensation in my nipples again and these boobs do help you mentally,, I feel smarter already. Ahh just kidding.
Sorry, I do disappear from time to time because as time passes, you really do forget about your boobs.
I hate doing leg lifts at the gym, So I do abs at home because it's so uncomfortable feeling my implants contract when I work on my chest.
Working out is important. I feel that if my waist line is big, my boobs look smaller.
Originally, I wanted to stay in proportion to my frame but looking at so many other boobs made me want to go bigger. Ultimately, I am very happy with the results. Still wearing a 32D but can still certainly fit a C cup. Boobs are not big at all. They are just right!!!
It's my annual! Happy bday to the birth of my boobs!!
I'll post pics later. Kind of bummed because I noticed my right boob is lower than my left. Really noticeable for me and its a lot tighter than the other too. I hope I didn't get cap con..
I have my follow up on Monday. We'll see.
They don't look bad at all, I'm just freaked because they're I don't know, in my body and I paid a lot for them and shit! I am freaked out!! No lie, I massage that boob more than the other and that's the tighter one??? Wtf!
I remember noticing things started tightning up when I started doing push ups. Why the hell did I start doing push ups? Beats me! Because I'm a dumb ass. I wanted to get fit again.
If it does turn out to be, and I have to get it removed, I'll for sure go bigger. But I wouldn't tell my husband. Keep it a secret. I'll plan a secret vacation and won't tell anyone!! Anyone have advice? I feel shitty.
It's capsular contraction
I was almost going to post a pic but after I took it, I got so embarrassed because they are now unbearable to me. I didn't go the the dr. Yet to do a second check up, but ever since then, they have become worse and they hurt and are uncomfortable. I'm so sad and try not to think about it but I'll have to go under the knife again. It's made it so difficult to have a normal sex life. I don't want my husband to see them because they are so crooked! Thinking back, when I was able to start working out, I started gradually, then when I was able to, I started working on my upper body like push ups and stuff. Maybe that's what happened? I also remember sleeping on my tummy a few times. I'm sorry I can't post a pic yet. I'm so embarrassed.
Capsulectomy ... If I spelled it right.
Tuesday (6-16-15 ) had my capsule removed. I was a little stressed because I heard from a couple girls that I would have to wear a drain for 5 days but it turned out that I didn't. That's probably why the doc didn't mention it to me. Turns out my capsule wasn't that bad because it wasn't too stiff. Grateful it was done.
Went in 6am pretty nervous but once you're in, you fall asleep and wake up in bandages. Hun drove me home and I was asleep on and off and weirdly enough, I didn't need to take my pain meds. I was in bed the rest of the day and sleeping but kept on waking up because I kept losing oxygen. I stopped breathing a few times and that's what kept me waking up. I remember this from last time because the nurses kept waking me up because they said I wasn't breathing. Not sure why. Maybe the anesthesia. Not a big deal. The next day my hub drove me to doc's office and they removed my bandages. Weird. I didn't really look swollen and my boobs were right where they were last time. Oh, did I mention I replaced my 339 for 375. Not a huge change,, look quite the same really but atleast I have a new pair.
Today would be my 4th day post surgery and I'm completely able to drive and move around. But I'm not raising my arms above my head and lifting anything.
My left boob which is the boob that had the capsule removed feels a lot free-er than my right and both boobs are soft and squishy.
Before when I would bend forward, I could see a little rippling and also feel the ripples because of how skinner I am. But now, I don't see the rippling and neither do I feel them. And the weirder thing is, they feel better than how they did before.
Only thing is, I can't stop looking at them and now I noticed that the left one,,, which is the one with the capsule removed maybe a tad lower than my right. ,, but also I can hear fluid when I massage in a circular motion.
I emailed the Doc but he said it's all normal. I am still overly paranoid because I'm scared of getting a capsule again.
He actually recommended for me to get the textured silicone implants with some type of pig skin or animal skin on top so I won't feel rippling but I didn't want to spend the money.
They said it was more costly but it has a lower risk of capsular contraction.
And it's a little more firmer.
I got the smooth round silicone moderate plus.
16 days post
I guess all the swelling is gone now just have to get through this month and the next few months. I hope I do not develop a capsule again. I heard that it takes 2-3 months to develop a capsule. I read that somewhere. Don't know if it's true. The last one took maybe about a year but I always felt a little tension with that boob.
My right boob now is kind of weird. I mean they are both even but I noticed that the implant does not move as free as the left which previously had the capsule.
The right nipple is also flatter at the bottom but Dr. Kim says that it should start filling in once I start to heal and the implant drops a little more. That's the part I don't get. How much more will it drop since the pocket was already created? I'll ask him this on my second visit which is coming up next wk on the 8th.
I believe I am still the same size, just managed to gain some cleavage. I compared the previous photos and see that there's not much of space in between now,,,, which I like. I don't mind being the same size. I used to buy 32c bras and fit them perfect. I also had 32D bras too because they were also very comfy. Well I still fit the 32D bras but the C bras are a little snug. I've bought some thin wireless bras that do the same thing that the sports bra did which was support and hold my breast in place and have been wearing them to work when I don't want the appearance of a sports bra.
Even though my boobs aren't too big and definitely unoticable at work, I can see eyes on my boobs from time to time. My nipples are definitely more sensitive ,,, strangely like that. But because they are sensitive, you can see my nipples a little under my clothes. That's probably why I see eyes there,, and it makes me even more nervous.
No pain really, and I don't lift anything heavy. Still try not to use my arms too much too. Altogether, doing great just a little paranoid. I've been taking vitamin e and some scar meds.
Btw, I really like DR. Kim and his staff.
375 cc silicone in 32d Victoria secret bra. No pads.