45 Year Old, Scheduled for Breast Reduction in September - Bath, GB

Had my first appointment with the surgeon last month and, while I'm still quite nervous about going ahead with the reduction, I'm definitely ready to downsize in the boob department. I'm currently a 32GG and can't wait to be able to wear whatever I want instead of clothes that either make my boobs look enormous (which they are!) or make me look really chunky.

It took me a long time to decide to go ahead with a reduction and now I know I want to do it I'd just like to get on with it. I'm doing it privately so I could have it done sooner but September is the best time - daughter will be at school, husband can take time off work and grandparents will be there to help.. I'm just frustrated at the wait. I keep looking at all the clothes I will be able to wear afterwards and find it hard to be patient. I also wish it was all over and done with for our summer holiday so I could buy a nice swimsuit. I just have to keep thinking about all the cute clothes I'll be able to wear next summer :)

So I went for my final meeting with the surgeon on Monday. It went really well. He answered my questions, showed me some BR surgeries he'd done previously (before and 6 months after) and they looked fine plus he introduced me to the nurse who will be dealing with my pre and post op care and she was lovely. I also had a surprise mammogram - I wasn't expecting to do it on Monday but it meant I wouldn't have to go back again just to do that. Anyway it was all very reassuring which was good. Unfortunately today my 8 year old came home from school and said she was worried about me going into hospital and had told her teacher that I was having my 'boobies shrunk'! We had a chat and she's fine now but who knows what the teacher thinks :)

I still have 2 months to wait for my operation but last night when I was trying to fall asleep I kept wondering if I lost more weight (I've just lost 14 pounds and plan to lose another 10) maybe I wouldn't need the reduction. I got myself into a bit of a tizzy thinking about it and worrying I was scheduled for an op I didn't really want/need. Luckily this morning I met a friend for coffee and talked it through. I realised that even if I drop a couple of cup sizes to a 30F/FF I'll still be bigger than I want and I'll still struggle with clothes. So I guess I'm back on track mentally - I just wish I could get on with it because the waiting is driving me a bit crazy!

Having another slight meltdown about the surgery. I keep thinking about all the things that could go wrong. I don't hate my breasts as they are now and I don't get unbearable back pain - I do want them smaller but I'm worried they will end up wonky or my nipples will be in the wrong place. I know I've picked a good surgeon but even he can't guarantee the outcome. I wish I didn't have to wait - it would be better if I could just get on with it! I must post a proper photo of my boobs since every one is brave enough to do it. The funny thing is, they look much bigger in a photo than they do when I look at myself in a mirror (and they don't look small in the mirror :)).

Finally got around to taking some pre-op photos. I specifically wanted to take them so that every time I have a panic about the surgery I can look at the pics and see exactly why I am doing this. They migh help encourage me to do a few (million!) sit-ups too :)

It's my birthday tomorrow and then the day after us my surgery. I can't believe it's finally here after waiting so many months. I've been busy cleaning and tidying and generally making sure that things will be as easy as possible for my husband and daughter while I am out of action. I've not started to feel worried about the surgery yet (having my birthday tomorrow helps with that!) but I think I'll be a bit stressed tomorrow night. I hope it all goes ok. I've been self conscious for years about my large breasts - I don't want to feel self conscious because they are different sizes or a weird shape! I'm sure it will all be gone though - which is exactly what I keep telling my 8 year old!

Feeling very tired and a little bruised and delicate so will update properly soon but here are a couple of first day pics. The surgeon didn't remove as much as I wanted but I understand his reasons why and trust he made the right decision. I should eventually end up a 30DD which is a lot better than a GG.

The reason I haven't updated before now is because I've had what has felt like the worst 3 day hangover in the history of hangovers!. It must have been something to do with the combination of anaesthetic still in my system and my pain medication! I feel much better this morning and I have to say that the actual pain from my incisions/bruising has been minimal - although I'm taking regular doses of paracetamol and ibuprofen as directed by my surgeon. I'm due to see the nurse for my dressings changed on Monday and I'm nervous about that. I haven't seen my scars and don't really want to. My nipples are a funny colour too but the surgeon keeps telling me he just thinks it's bruising. I'll be happy when they are a regular colour again! Other than that I'm just waiting to see how things go in general. I still feel quite big but my friends and husband think I am much smaller plus I'm obviously swollen. So we'll wait and see. Finally, sleeping on my back sucks. I can't get comfy so I keep waking up and it's leaving me very tired (and a little bit grumpy :)).

Just got back from the hospital where they changed the dressings. I finally got to see the incisions and while it wasn't exactly pretty, neither was it as 'Frankenstein's monster' as I expected! I'm feeling so much better today - I even went for a short walk with a friend to a local coffee shop. It felt good to do something normal!

I seem to be driving myself crazy today. I know that it's early days and I'm still swollen but I can't stop thinking that I'm still going to be really big at the end of all this. When I consider how much tissue was removed (375g from each side) and what size I am today (30FF - I know because I tried on an old bra from a few years back that I found in a draw!) I think I'm going to be very lucky to end up in an E cup (wanted to be a c/d). Feeling a bit down about this :(