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2 years after BA surgery and almost 2 years after breast removal
I know it's been a long time since I posted here but I really didn't feel brave enough to do it. My mother passed away like 2 months after my last update and everyday since then everything has been a nightmare for me.
Now, I don't feel any better, as my life has totally changed for the worst. But I decided I had to do an update.
My breasts are ok. I definetly feel that they are not the same as before the surgery, but they were not really beautiful to begin with. But luckily they are the same size as they were and there is no skin rippling or anything like that. They just look good :)
My muscle is another story. The distortion that I once felt is still there, but I have to say it is waaaay better than it was recently after the surgery. Nowadays I can only feel it in my left breast, and only if I do strange movements I can feel like my breast tissue is somehow adhered with the muscle and it moves with it. It's annoying but it's not a really big deal for me anymore.
My scars look really good. One of them is definetly more visible (right side), but the other is almost invisible. I was treating them with "Trofolastin", which are like some kind of bandaids that helps with scarring, and they have improved a lot. I keep wearing short sleeves anyway because I don't feel confident enough to show them off.
I had my 1 year post explantation visit with my surgeon. She said that everything looks fine to her and she was really kind to me. But, however, that day was really hard for me and I ended up feeling really bad. But sometimes I feel like that because of all that I have been through lately.
Overall, I'm glad I removed the implants; but somehow I have not been able to embrace my body again. I don't know if time will help me, but I feel I have to tell the truth here, because I always did. Honestly, sometimes I think "why did I have to remove the implants? Why can't I feel happy with them? There is a lot of people with implants who look and feel good, why can't I just be like them?". But then I remember how odd I felt with them, and how strange and unnatural they look... and I understand that implants were not the answer for me. And this makes me feel a lot worse, because then there's not another answer for me but to learn to love myself the way I am. And I find it really difficult.
I feel I have a lot more to tell than this. But for today I'll end up here. I hope my review was helpful and, maybe I'll post some recent pictures later on.
Now, I don't feel any better, as my life has totally changed for the worst. But I decided I had to do an update.
My breasts are ok. I definetly feel that they are not the same as before the surgery, but they were not really beautiful to begin with. But luckily they are the same size as they were and there is no skin rippling or anything like that. They just look good :)
My muscle is another story. The distortion that I once felt is still there, but I have to say it is waaaay better than it was recently after the surgery. Nowadays I can only feel it in my left breast, and only if I do strange movements I can feel like my breast tissue is somehow adhered with the muscle and it moves with it. It's annoying but it's not a really big deal for me anymore.
My scars look really good. One of them is definetly more visible (right side), but the other is almost invisible. I was treating them with "Trofolastin", which are like some kind of bandaids that helps with scarring, and they have improved a lot. I keep wearing short sleeves anyway because I don't feel confident enough to show them off.
I had my 1 year post explantation visit with my surgeon. She said that everything looks fine to her and she was really kind to me. But, however, that day was really hard for me and I ended up feeling really bad. But sometimes I feel like that because of all that I have been through lately.
Overall, I'm glad I removed the implants; but somehow I have not been able to embrace my body again. I don't know if time will help me, but I feel I have to tell the truth here, because I always did. Honestly, sometimes I think "why did I have to remove the implants? Why can't I feel happy with them? There is a lot of people with implants who look and feel good, why can't I just be like them?". But then I remember how odd I felt with them, and how strange and unnatural they look... and I understand that implants were not the answer for me. And this makes me feel a lot worse, because then there's not another answer for me but to learn to love myself the way I am. And I find it really difficult.
I feel I have a lot more to tell than this. But for today I'll end up here. I hope my review was helpful and, maybe I'll post some recent pictures later on.
Here's a pic too...
13 days post-explant
Here I go! I'm 13 days post-op today and I feel great. Yeah, I had really bad days lately, due to the muscle distortion... but my best friend REALLY had helped me. She suggested me that I should not look my boobs or my "muscular distortion" until a day we previously decided - the day of the consultation with my surgeon. And I did. It really helped me a lot, I was able to do a lot of things without feeling so worried about the muscle thing.
The consultation was very disappointing; she was not clear at all, she didn't really say if it will improve or not... She only kept saying they'll look as they did before, so... I only wish they'll do some day (as well do the muscle).
A few days after the consultation, I looked at the "distortion" again and... yeah, it has changed. I don't know if it does for the worst or better, but it definetly changed. And for my breats, they look great! It's like I've never had surgery, except for the scars! I'm really impressed with the body's ability of healing.
Anyway, I'm again not looking at their "distortion" until the consultation with my psychiatrist (29th January), who wants to see me and talk to me about my feelings after explant. I don't know if I'll be capable of doing it, but I'm doing my best!
PS: And, as an anecdote. A part of my tongue had not recovered sensitivity since I woke up from anesthesia. I was also really upset with that, because it had been bothering me while eating, kissing or even talking. But, yesterday, my tongue suddenly woke up! Happy tongueeee now!!! yayyy
The consultation was very disappointing; she was not clear at all, she didn't really say if it will improve or not... She only kept saying they'll look as they did before, so... I only wish they'll do some day (as well do the muscle).
A few days after the consultation, I looked at the "distortion" again and... yeah, it has changed. I don't know if it does for the worst or better, but it definetly changed. And for my breats, they look great! It's like I've never had surgery, except for the scars! I'm really impressed with the body's ability of healing.
Anyway, I'm again not looking at their "distortion" until the consultation with my psychiatrist (29th January), who wants to see me and talk to me about my feelings after explant. I don't know if I'll be capable of doing it, but I'm doing my best!
PS: And, as an anecdote. A part of my tongue had not recovered sensitivity since I woke up from anesthesia. I was also really upset with that, because it had been bothering me while eating, kissing or even talking. But, yesterday, my tongue suddenly woke up! Happy tongueeee now!!! yayyy
Provider Review
Nelly Cartro Giner, Clínica Londres