First of all, I have to say sorry to everyone who...
First of all, I have to say sorry to everyone who is reading this review for my very bad english... but I'll do my best in writing down my experience.
About me: I'm 22 years old and I had my breast augmentation last 29th October 2013 (only 8 weeks ago), 325cc under the muscle, axillary incision.
I started to feel bad about my implants about a month ago, when post-op pain went away. I just don't feel like myself ever since I've got the implants. I hate being always aware of them inside my body, I hate how they feel when I'm lying on my bed, and I feel like they are kind of a "barrier" between me and everyone or everything I want to do. I'm surely less active since I've got my implants - I had to give up martial arts for recovery and now that I'm ok, I don't feel like starting again even though I know I could do it. Moreover (I'll be VERY honest about it, sorry again), I like sex VERY much, I've always been a very sexual person - unfortunately I'm not enjoying it since I had my implants, because of the feeling of having that obstacle between me and my boyfriend... I'm so upset with that.
Well, I could keep writing about all the things I hate of having implants, but I'm sure all of you know many of these things :) so I'll only add that I've scheduled my explant for the 31st December (well, I'll do that tomorrow but I hope there won't be any problem). I'll had implants for only 9 weeks by then.
I want to stay positive and think that I'll start the new year with my "old" little boobies, which I miss very very badly, wishing them to bounce back to what they were, and forgetting about those implants forever.
3 days pre-op
Very nervous! But keep thinking positive. I'll trust my surgeon. She said everything is going to be OK. I've been writing down all the things my surgeon said will be favorable to the appearance of my breasts post explant, and it had helped me a lot:
- The implants have been there for a short time (only 9 weeks) so the outcome will look very similar to my pre-op (she said I will look like I had never had surgery except for the scars, but it's difficult to believe it).
- I'm young and the quality of my skin is good. Hopefully things are going to go back to normal smoothly.
- My muscle had not been cut because the implants were placed through axillary incision, so she's not expecting muscular distortion (I haven't got any actually) or any problem related with the muscle.
- Explantation will be a simple and pretty fast procedure, through the same initial incision in the armpit, as I haven't any complication with my implants.
I can't believe everyone arround me is being so supportive with my explant, considering that most of them know how self-conscious I was about my little breasts, and how badly I wanted implants. I was expecting them to think I'm crazy or wilful, but they are all saying that I'm a wise person, that I'l do the best for myself, that this had been a mistake and I'm only trying to find a solution. I'm glad to have this kind of people arround me. Everything is going to be OK...
Tomorrow is the day...!
I've realized that writing helps me a lot! Frist, I wrote a list of advantages and disadvantages of both having the implants and my natural breasts; in my last update I wrote a list of things that may be positive for my outcome after surgery; and now, as I know that I'll probably have negative thoughts after surgery, I'm writing down all the reasons I have now for getting the implants out. Maybe I'll post it later.
31 Dec 2013
Day of treatment
In almost 3 hours I'll be implant-free! It's been 9 weeks since my original surgery and it seems like 9 years to me! I can't wait to be natural again.
I forgot about the list I mention in my last update! I have to translate it from Spanish, so I'll post it after my surgery.
Wish me luck!
Implant-free :D wooohoo
31 Dec 2013
Day of treatment
Here I am after surgery. Everything went great, almost no pain. Wooooow, veeeeeery flat now, but I really think that they will change and be like they were before all the crazy surgeries. Pretty happy and hopeful, trying to think in positive and ready to have new year's dinner with my grandmother :)
1 day post-explant
Here I am! The day after surgery :) feeling great and very happy. Noticing my breasts are changing pretty fast, I'm positively surprised, wow! I can't remove the bandages, but I can't resist and I'm taking fast looks at my "boobies", jajaja. Yesterday my "breasts" were ABSOLUTELY flat, nothing but nipples. Only 24 hours after, I can see, feel and touch, some of my tissue and the shape I had before BA. Very empty, yeah, but they're there.
My surgery went great, even though I was very very nervous. I had no pain (I neither have now), except a little pressure in my armpits where the incisions are, and a weird feeling in my chest (like it's air inside? strange. I've just talked with the nurse and said it's normal).
Here I post some pictures! With a little bit of censoring (I'm really shy, sorry), but I hope they can help someone anyway.
Recover soon, little boobies, please!!!
2 days post-explant
It's been 2 days after surgery and things are changing constantly. My breasts are a bit less jello-like, and my nipples are not wrinkled anymore. They are smaller than before BA, but they have the same shape, and it's very early, so I'm hoping they will come back to their size and firmness. In fact, I think they're a bit bigger than yesterday, and yesterday were a bit bigger than the day of surgery, so I'm hopeful. Otherwise, my skin is great! I expected it to be wrinkled or less firm than before, but it is exactly the same than before BA.
Well, today I have my first consultation after surgery, they're removing my bandages.
3 days post-explant
3 days... My breasts keep improving! They are a lot firmer and slowly recovering their size. The bandages were removed yesterday, and, according to the nurses, no compression is needed. It seems strange to me, but I have noticed that it obviously helped my breasts. I'm not allowed to wear bras, I have to wear a tight lycra shirt instead. I tried my old bras and they fit perfectly, although most of my tissue is at the lower pole of my breasts and I have to push it up (hoping this will improve with time). I'm very happy with this decision; I feel natural and free, with no physical limitations. I'm trying to make peace with my small breasts and with all small breasts in the world :) cause they're beautiful too.
4 days post-explant
I'm a bit sad today :( I'm noticing some distortion of my left breast when I flex. It's like the muscle is following the line where my old crease was... I don't know if it's normal or not, or if it would improve with time, once my crease heal... But it is really bothering me. I just want to feel normal again... I'll try not to think of it and ask my surgeon about the muscle thing.
Otherwise, everything is going great. They're firmer and slowly recovering its shape and position.
5 days post-explant
Still worried about distortion but trying not to think about it until thursday, when I'll have a consultation with my surgeon.
Other than that, I'm still surprised at how fast the breasts change, specially its texture, which improves every day. Moreover, I'm not taking any medication and I have no pain at all.
Come on boobies/muscle! You can heal :)
6 days post-explant
Today it's been the worst day so far for me. I'm in a REALLY bad mood, due to the muscle thing.
13 days post-explant
Here I go! I'm 13 days post-op today and I feel great. Yeah, I had really bad days lately, due to the muscle distortion... but my best friend REALLY had helped me. She suggested me that I should not look my boobs or my "muscular distortion" until a day we previously decided - the day of the consultation with my surgeon. And I did. It really helped me a lot, I was able to do a lot of things without feeling so worried about the muscle thing.
The consultation was very disappointing; she was not clear at all, she didn't really say if it will improve or not... She only kept saying they'll look as they did before, so... I only wish they'll do some day (as well do the muscle).
A few days after the consultation, I looked at the "distortion" again and... yeah, it has changed. I don't know if it does for the worst or better, but it definetly changed. And for my breats, they look great! It's like I've never had surgery, except for the scars! I'm really impressed with the body's ability of healing.
Anyway, I'm again not looking at their "distortion" until the consultation with my psychiatrist (29th January), who wants to see me and talk to me about my feelings after explant. I don't know if I'll be capable of doing it, but I'm doing my best!
PS: And, as an anecdote. A part of my tongue had not recovered sensitivity since I woke up from anesthesia. I was also really upset with that, because it had been bothering me while eating, kissing or even talking. But, yesterday, my tongue suddenly woke up! Happy tongueeee now!!! yayyy
2 years after BA surgery and almost 2 years after breast removal
I know it's been a long time since I posted here but I really didn't feel brave enough to do it. My mother passed away like 2 months after my last update and everyday since then everything has been a nightmare for me.
Now, I don't feel any better, as my life has totally changed for the worst. But I decided I had to do an update.
My breasts are ok. I definetly feel that they are not the same as before the surgery, but they were not really beautiful to begin with. But luckily they are the same size as they were and there is no skin rippling or anything like that. They just look good :)
My muscle is another story. The distortion that I once felt is still there, but I have to say it is waaaay better than it was recently after the surgery. Nowadays I can only feel it in my left breast, and only if I do strange movements I can feel like my breast tissue is somehow adhered with the muscle and it moves with it. It's annoying but it's not a really big deal for me anymore.
My scars look really good. One of them is definetly more visible (right side), but the other is almost invisible. I was treating them with "Trofolastin", which are like some kind of bandaids that helps with scarring, and they have improved a lot. I keep wearing short sleeves anyway because I don't feel confident enough to show them off.
I had my 1 year post explantation visit with my surgeon. She said that everything looks fine to her and she was really kind to me. But, however, that day was really hard for me and I ended up feeling really bad. But sometimes I feel like that because of all that I have been through lately.
Overall, I'm glad I removed the implants; but somehow I have not been able to embrace my body again. I don't know if time will help me, but I feel I have to tell the truth here, because I always did. Honestly, sometimes I think "why did I have to remove the implants? Why can't I feel happy with them? There is a lot of people with implants who look and feel good, why can't I just be like them?". But then I remember how odd I felt with them, and how strange and unnatural they look... and I understand that implants were not the answer for me. And this makes me feel a lot worse, because then there's not another answer for me but to learn to love myself the way I am. And I find it really difficult.
I feel I have a lot more to tell than this. But for today I'll end up here. I hope my review was helpful and, maybe I'll post some recent pictures later on.