38 Yr Old Removed 330cl Gummies Under Muscle After Ten Months - Australia, AU

I feel really good now and have done for some time!

I'm conscious that a lot of us come in here and post a whole load of stuff when we are feeling very emotional, going through the decision process but then write a line under it and never return to share the emotional recovery. I know that when I was in the rough of it, reading people's pain only served to increase my anxiety and I have left a trail on here that doesn't necessarily represent the reality. I wanted to post this - an excerpt from my recent PM to someone - to try to balance the picture:
"Firstly I want to be clear that I don't think the implants hurt me. At least not in the way that a lot of people think they do. I think they became a focus for anxiety, partly by winding myself up reading sites about implant harm but mainly because I was never particularly comfortable with my decision to implant in the first place and was just trying to suppress that unease and get on with it.

I do think that we are all different and, just like how some people's bodies reject piercings, others will tolerate implants less well than others. Rather than the silicone poisoning me, I just believe that I was burning too much energy trying to accommodate something my body didn't want and that was laying me low.

I think people underestimate how hard it is for some to process such a significant change to the look and feel of their body, plus the fairly odd concept of a foreign item in there. I believe this causes a lot more emotional and psychological issues than the surgeons credit (and anyway, once down that line it's easy to be written off as crazy).

Also, I have back issues; an old whiplash injury and sciatica from hip separation with my first child. These are manageable but flair up from time to time. I believe that carrying the extra weight on my front was noticeably affecting my posture (I was slouching more) and putting my back out. Further as I was embarrassed by my breasts (which came up to my chin in a sports top!) I was less inclined to exercise and strengthen my core, which I've found crucial to supporting my lower back. The swollen lymph node turned out to be a perfectly normal size but was protruding because my neck muscle was swollen and pushing it out. The back issues have been confirmed by a doctor and physio, along with a trapped nerve which is giving me referred pain into my hands, left buttock and sometimes my feet. I have put two and two together in relating it back to my implants but it does stand to reason. Things have certainly improved since I had them out.

The key source of my anxiety though was a bad reaction to some medication (long story). Again, this has been confirmed by a doctor and neuropsych. As the effects of the medication wore off I travelled between periods of feeling totally back to my old self and then back into a fug of anxiousness and a low ebb. One thing became clear, that the feet and hand stuff is a lot worse during the periods of anxiety - I notice every little niggle and twinge a whole lot more then and I tend to think the worst of it to the point of driving myself up the wall with worry. I am 99.9% sure that, whilst I do have legitimate physical symptoms, they are only partly causing the issues I experience during the anxious times. I am pretty sure that the rest is psychosomatic and related to the anxiety itself."