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I really want this procedure, but now im going...

I really want this procedure, but now im going back and forth whether it will be worth it. I keep looking at my nose and other people's noses, wondering if mine's so bad afterall. Ive been looking at before and after trying to find my similar nose. Some after photos i like, some i dont, and some i cant tell. I want there to be a change, but now im scared the change will be so insignificant. I kind of already feel guilty for such a self-absorbed procedure. I really hope its worth it. I really debate cancelling it, and just losing my deposit.

I paid the hospital portion of my surgery...

I paid the hospital portion of my surgery yesterday. This surgery is becoming more real every day. Last night I had a nightmare about it actually. I dreamt that I didn't quite go under. I think that speaks more for my anxiety about the anesthesia:

>>In the dream, they couldn't quite keep me down. There was a lot of crying before the dreamt surgery, where the doctor abruptly gave me the IV. I dreamt that my teeth and nails were being pulled - it was pretty much a nightmare. And then after the dreamt surgery, I was told that there was a complication of "elfing" due to the high amount of "parmin" in my nose- which meant I had to do a followup surgery to complete the nose job. As I'm being told this information, I'm spitting out teeth, which are falling out.

Oh! and I'm posting before pics...which have...

Oh! and I'm posting before pics...which have strangely been rotated. The baseline is that I don't like my nose, but the degree of dislike varies. Some of attached pics I'm fine with, others not so much. Regardless, I'm going through with it. I'm confident in the doctor- and I believe he can't make my nose much worse.