3 wks post-op, new pics

I have 4 kids ages 7, 4, 3 & 16 mos. After my 3rd was born I worked really hard & went from 180 to 131 lbs (I'm 5'9") but still had skin that hung over my pants when I sat down. I just figured that was what I would live with. My husband really wanted to have one more baby but as he travels for work so often I wasn't as excited about the idea; plus I had worked so hard to get my body back! After 10 months of trying and 1 miscarriage we decided our family was complete (phew!) Then I found out the next day I was pregnant!

Our 4th is our only boy & he is such a perfect addition to our family but during this pregnancy I ended up with an umbilical hernia which opened up the idea for a TT to me. After he was born I visited a PS. He asked me if I was within 20 lbs of my goal weight but I was at 165 so I didn't want to do the surgery at that time knowing where I had got down to before this last pregnancy. Fast forward 11 mos later, after struggling with some post-partum depression & emotional eating leading to another 10-12 lb gain, I had managed to get back down to 143 with my new final goal being 135. I did the Insanity workout along with the Eat to Live diet and started running 3 days a week. I felt healthy and was ready to start thinking about the TT. Then a couple wks ago my son started to climb on me and stuck his toe in my hernia and ripped it further, it burned so bad! This set my thinking about the TT into action about the TT.

While looking at my side profile and imagining what I would look like after the TT I started looking at how flat and saggy my chest was from nursing 4 babies and then also from all the weight loss/gain over the years. Talked to DH & he was on board for a full MM if that's what I wanted. Scheduled the consult w/ the PS again, then set the surgery date for two wks later.

My surgery was last Fri, 10/26! I had TT, BL, BA (300cc), hernia repair & Lipo on flanks. This was my first surgery ever (I panicked every other day up until the surgery.)

I have two drainage tubes & I had a pain pump as well that was removed 3 dpo. A General surgeon did the hernia repair during the middle of the TT portion. The PS said he gave me over 200 stitches so I need not worry about anything coming undone. That was a comforting thought on Fri after the surgery when I was throwing up and it felt like my mid-section was on fire & was going to rip in half! Boy is it hard to stand up straight too! I'm managing when I walk around to stand up at about 85% straight but it is a workout! The chest really hasn't been an issue other than feeling like a baby elephant is sitting on me, but my right side incision from the TT burns quite often & seems more swollen than the left side. I have an appt tomorrow in which I am hoping one of the drainage tubes will be removed. Before surgery the PS said 1 wk for the first tube and 2-3 wks for the second. So far, I like what I see, although I'm going to have to get use to this new belly button! A bonus was that the tattoo that I had on my stomach is now gone. I have not taken any post op pics yet, so hoping to do that tonight. The incision lines look pretty straight & smaller than what I expected them to be. I'm down to 1 pain pill & muscle relaxer at night & then 1/2 a pain pill twice during the day. I have some crazy dreams on those things! I've been sleeping in the recliner in our bedroom since I got home. They had me stay in the hospital over night after the operation & then DH & I decided to have me stay another night since I was going to be at home by myself as he had to be at our kid's school all day Saturday for their Fall Festival (he signed us up as Co-VP of the PTF!)

The thing that has been the hardest for me mentally was after the first shower putting some lotion on my stomach. To see it and touch it but not being able to feel anything really did a number on me. I don't have a weak stomach normally but this made we nauseas & then I started to black out so I sat down quickly. Tears followed & then later I jumped on realself & read many post about everyone's joys of their new body & also the ups & downs of a MM which made me feel tons better. That's why I decided to write a review, to pay it forward I guess. It made me feel so much more normal & a lot better to know that those moments of Holy Cow What have I done?? are normal & will pass & that I'm not alone in having those moments! Thank you to all those who've taken the time to share your journey, it really has helped me in mine!
Happy Healing!!

Just needed to take a moment to vent... on the emotional roller coaster of MM I am struggling with the TT incision and how high it went up on my hip bones. I have a f/u appt this morning and I want to say something about it but am never good with stuff like this. Also, it's not like there is anything that can be done about it now. That's the line I used with myself the other day to get past the first freak out with this. My underwear does not cover the incision on either side for about an inch of the incision (and these are the underwear I used during pregnancy, not small & pretty pre baby undies.) When he marked me for surgery it was about 10 mins before I completely went black and don't remember anything from that point. It's not like I was able to focus on what he was doing at that time and have a conversation about incision height and bathing suit coverage. I was too nervous and focused on the fact that I was getting ready to go under and be cut on. I figured the previous conversations in the consult and pre-op appt covered my desires to hide as much as possible, not to pull the stretch marks down a couple inches, still have them show and add new scars on top of that to the mix. Struggling with a was this really worth it moment?!?! Love the new boobs though... on a more positive note!

So this mornings rant was a crying bout saver! Thank you for the encouraging words in a much needed time! At the f/u appt the PS said that my scar would not be any lower but that he had to bring it that high to connect the skin. He also reminded me that I am swollen still as well. He also said that with the way that I'm healing that over time he didn't think that the scar would really even be an issue for me. I do have to say that from day 1 I felt like he did a great job on how straight and small the incision line is. So, time & patience! I teach my kids this, just need to do a better job at remembering it myself! No drains out today, one more wk.

If you feel like a laugh... I kept rubbing a place just below "the girls" in the center top of abs that was sore & felt a bulge then two lines going down each side of my abdomen that I thought "OMG is this going to be what the outer lining of my abs pulled together is going to look like once the swelling goes down? I don't want to look like a freaking body builder." A good but painful laugh with the nurse today... It's the drainage tubes! I'm blaming that one on the pain pills! :)