Hello beautiful ladies. I never in a million...
Hello beautiful ladies. I never in a million years thought I'd be someone who would undergo cosmetic surgery. I'm also an extremely private person. Yet here I am, just days away from my BA and about to share something I have only shared with my husband and two of my girlfriends. I am so grateful to all of you who have bared your souls and bodies on this site. Your stories have helped me so much and given me the courage to pay it forward and share mine.
terrified, excited and second guessing
So I haven't really had a size goal. I just wanted whatever size looked natural and right for my frame. I felt like my PS got it. His portfolio of before and afters are impressive, and I knew after I met him that I could trust his judgement - which is what I was looking for in a PS. Well, now I'm second guessing that. He gave me a range of 300-375 cc, but I'm getting those last minute doubts feeling like I should've chosen a size to provide more direction. Ugh, can this be done already? Exhausted from thinking and worrying.
I paid the extra $100 for the vitamin pack and have been taking that since my pre-op last week. I've had relatively smooth recoveries from two c-sections and am pretty fit, so I'm hoping recovery from my BA won't be too bad. Surgery is on a Thursday, and I go back to work the following Wednesday so I MUST be functional by then. Way too many projects going on, and I'm a little behind already since we just had a few "snow" days (w/o actual snow, we're not used to snow here) resulting in school closures so I was home with the kids.
I've been giving my two little boys extra hugs abd cuddles these days b/c after surgery, my focus will be on recovery. I tried to be superwoman after both kids were born...I threw a big dinner party two weeks after my first was born. Don't know what I was thinking, but this BA is for me and I'm determined to put my needs first for this one.
I have to tell you how sweet my DH is. I've hated my post-baby body. At the beginning of 2013, I decided I wasn't going to let myself go. I was very focused on a workout routine and played league tennis. I dropped almost 15 lbs, which is significant on a 5'1" person. Even with that, I was unhappy with my body. My boobs were cute and perky before kids, and they had turned into saggy sandbags. I was also shocked to go from 32 full B to a saggy nothing. How is it possible for such tiny boobs to be so saggy??? Also, my formerly flat tummy was cruelly replaced by a hanging flap of skin. The flap got smaller when I dropped weight, but it's still there. Ah, genetics can be so cruel as I come from generations of small, saggy boobs and stomach flaps. DH got lucky in the gene dept. His whole family stays thin, they're the kind of people who can eat anything. DH will stop working out in the winter, but one month back into his exercise routine and you can already see definition in his stomach. Why is he sweet? Sorry, back to the point. I was commenting on my body one night, something he knew I wasn't happy about (it really impacted our sex life). I was joking about cosmetic surgery, and he got serious, said that he didn't think I needed it but if I felt it was something I wanted, I should look into it. So the research began. I was going on consults for both a mini tummy tuck snd BA and ultimately decided on just the BAfor now. Anyway, for Christmas, I opened a box and DH had written me a check for $6k to be spent only on me. Awwwww. Love him. Sorry I'm a rambling mess!!!
Tomorrow's the big day, so much to do today!
I'm so excited...and ssssscared!!!! Got a lot to wrap up today. Tonight, I need to help the kids finish up their class valentine's day cards/candy since I'll be out of it tomorrow night, take care of some work projects, laundry, run out at lunch time to get DH a valentine's gift...whew! Hope I can focus on my tasks instead of fantasizing (and worrying) about my new boobs all day. So funny, my oldest son (age 6) has a class field trip tomorrow and has been counting down the days until Thursday, the same day as my BA. Glad we can share in our excitement for tomorrow, even if they're about entirely different events!
Gah!!! Night before BA, and I have a sick kiddo
Yep, my little one has a fever. DH asked what we should do about tomorrow, and I said we'll just have to assess whether he's better off coming with us or going to school. DH just looked at me like I was crazy, but he's the kind that wants to take the kids to the dr for every little sniffle. It's a low grade fever and he's in decent spirits, so maybe he'll be ok with a little advil in the morning, and DH can pick him up from school when surgery is over. It's times like these that I wish we had family nearby!
13 Feb 2014
Day of treatment
Just got home from surgery. It hurts to move, but if I'm staying still I'm only a little uncomfortable. My arms all the way to my forearms and shoulders feel like I had an intense workout. That feels worse than my boobs.
PS went with 300 cc's.
Mouth is very dry. When I woke up, I was starving. Tried to eat crackers but had trouble getting it down because of my super dry mouth. Even jello tasted dry!
I don't even remember being wheeled into the OR.
Thanks for the advice on bendy straws.
The day after
I'm amazed how good I feel just one day after surgery, and I'm still in awe that this actually happened. All that anticipation, and yesterday was a complete blur! Here's an odd fact I learned from the anesthesiologist yesterday. During surgery, they tape your eyes shut so they stay closed the entire time. Guess it would be creepy performing surgery and having a patient's eyes open up.
I'm normally a back sleeper, so I slept very comfortably last night with 5 pillows to keep myself propped at a 45 degree angle. I downloaded a medicine tracker app on my phone - an alarm goes off when it's time to take your meds, so was on time with all my pills, especially norco for pain. This is a lesson I learned after my first c-section - stay ahead of the pain and take those meds on time. After you skip a few doses, it takes a bit for the meds to catch up to the pain. I remember crying like a baby because every movement hurt so much, like the bottom half of my body was going to rip apart. My arms and shoulders, which were very sore yesterday, are not sore at all today. My breasts feel tender, swollen and tight, like when my milk came in after having babies. In fact, I keep touching my nipples, half expecting my surgical bra to be drenched in milk. I've been able to get out of bed and do things on my own today (have been alone all day), but I do feel the need to hold my boobs when I'm walking around. I'm also forced to keep my back in perfect posture because if my shoulders are even a little hunched I feel like I am going to topple over from the weight of my chest. Opening up pill bottles hurt, but it's tolerable, and if I need something low to the ground I squat down because bending over really hurts. I've been extremely drowsy and pretty much slept the day away, except to eat, take my pills, and go to the bathroom. Speaking of the bathroom, peeing has been weird. I feel like I have to concentrate really hard to find my pee muscles. I haven't had any nausea, and my mouth is still pretty dry, so meal replacement shakes, water, and jello have been really nice to have.
I took ES tylenol instead of my last dose of norco. If tylenol works out okay for the pain, I think I'll do that during the day and norco at night. I can't stand that groggy, cloudy feeling.
Tomorrow, I get to take a shower. Can't wait to see my upgraded boobs!
Happy Valentine's, everyone!!!
Debut of my new boobs!
Ladies, it is my pleasure to introduce you to my new boobs! I'm on day 2 post-surgery and feel better than I did yesterday. Switched to ES Tylenol during the day, and I'm feeling more clear-headed. Experienced a little nausea, but that's all gone now thanks to some pills. Took my first shower, and it was heavenly, but I was happy to get back into the support of my surgical bra.
Did this really happen? I feel so good.
3 days after surgery, and I feel really good. Today is better than yesterday. I'm pretty comfortable lifting my arms up to put on/take off clothes, and I "made" dinner last night (microwaved leftovers). It did hurt to cut an apple, put sheets on the bed, and put shoes on my little one's feet, so some things are still very sore, and I'm not going to push it. I couldn't stand the groggy feeling I was getting from pain meds and the muscle relaxer, so I stopped them during the day. Just ES tylenol, and I'm managing fine. The muscle relaxers made my legs feel spaghetti-like, and I had trouble making a tight fist. That was ok when I was in bed all day, but now that I actually want to get myself out of bed and do something it's annoying to feel so weak. Just a little bit of activity wears me out, so I'm trying not to overdo it. since my range of motion is good, the one activity I'll do tomorrow is go grocery shopping. Other than that, tv, naps, and trying on some of my pre-baby clothes while DH and the kids are out of the house.
Last night, we took the kids to see the Lego movie (loved it, btw). I felt pretty good throughout the movie, but by the end I was ready to take my meds and lay down.
Because i kept hearing about everyone's post-surgery constipation, I thought I'd take a few fiber gummies each day (on top of the colace the dr suggested, which I started the day before surgery). It's made for kids and is 1 gummy twice a day. We actually had these at home because my litlest one got really stopped up last summer. Anyway, I took 2 twice a day for 2 days, then yesterday increased it to 4 gummies twice a day. That worked.
I woke up this morning feeling great. I'm so glad to have stopprd the pain meds and muscle relaxers; my head just feels so much clearer. I told my husband I'd take the kids to school. It's only a 3 mile drive. The drive was ok for the most part. Stretching the seat belt to put it on was uncomfortable. And it hurt to reverse - as usual, i stretched my right arm and rested it on the front passenger seat while reversing, which made me wince so I had to reverse without doing that. On my way home, I dropped off some dry cleaning. I was exhausted and relieved to get home. I was gone for less than an hour, but that activity wore me out. I also felt the need to take a dose of tylenol as I felt a little sore. I'd like to go grocery shopping today, but my son has soccer practice after school, and I'm not sure I can do both. Glad to have the day off to gradually get back into my normal routine.
Before I lay down for my nap, I wanted to share a few pics with you. I tried on a swimsuit I had pre-kids. I think I fill it out much better now than I did with my younger boobs, but I don't think I could wear something like this in public at my ripe old age :)
Boobs' 1st day at work
Had my BA on Thursday, and today (Wed) was my first day back at work. Recovery has been going surprisingly well. Honestly, if I absolutely had to, I think I could've gone back to work on Monday. I have a desk job, and I'm mostly on the computer or phone, so very minimal movement. The day went fine, though I was a little tired in the afternoon, but I attribute that more to starting my period yesterday - I tend to get very tired and crampy on days 1 and 2 of my period. The biggest challenges of the day were: 1. I couldn't look at/touch my beautiful new boobs whenever I pleased like I had been doing in the privacy of my own home; and 2. The boobs felt uncomfortable in the surgical bra toward the end of the day. I had to excuse myself from a mtg to get a coke zero from the vending machine for the express purpose of putting the ice cold can on my boobs (I made sure no one was around to witness that). Ah, instant relief and zero calories! I was a new woman after that, wrapped up a productive day, picked up the kids, and went about my usual evening routine without issue. I stuck to my ES tylenol today and will take a muscle relaxer before bed for good measure since I'm dealing with the double whammy of surgery recovery and mr. monthly. I wore a long, loose, sheer sweater with a form-fitting tank top underneath. I've always hated the way sweaters looked on me and had to heavily pad my bras for them to hang right on my body. Well, no more! Very. Happy.
I noticed today that bending over is a lot easier on the boobs. Just a few days ago, it hurt and felt like they'd rip off so I had to hold onto them for dear life when bending. Oh and i can reverse my car like a normal person. No other noticeable changes.
Ouch, sensitive nipples
Recovery is goIng well, but today my nipples started to feel sensitive, and I'm now very conscious of my incision sites. Incision sites don't hurt, I just feel where they are. Funny that Friday was the first day that the boobs felt relatively normal - like I wasn't really aware of them or thinking about them because they didn't hurt or tingle or feel tight. I have my first post-op on Monday so I'll learn more about the bra situation, but I think PS said 6 weeks of 24/7 surgical bra. I hope I'm not remembering correctly because I'm a little sick of this thing. Also getting a little antsy with no exercise. It's not like I haven't been getting out, but I am very used to an active lifestyle. I kicked the soccer ball around with my boys this morning but didn't want to run, and with the nice weather was thinking what a perfect day for tennis. Maybe I'll take walks to prevent myself from getting fat and cranky. At least I'll be fat and cranky with a perky rack ;)
Steri strips removed!
I had my first post-op visit on Monday. Learned how to massage my boobs and got the steri strips removed. PS knew that I was slow to clot so susceptible to more heavy bruising. He was pleased to see that I had absolutely no bruises. I was happy to have the opportunity to tell him how much I loved my new boobs and that he gave me exactly what I wanted.
I left the PS office with a new surgical bra. I need to wear it 24/7 until my 6 week visit - and any similar bra will do. I also have to put either surgical tape or silicone scar gel on the incisions. The tape is much lower maintenance and needs replacing every 5-7 days. The gel supposedly shows slightly better results but needs to be applied twice a day. When I asked what was in the tape, the nurse said it was plain old surgical tape and its effectiveness is because it holds the incision together which helps it heal nicely. I did some reading online, and I think I'll order the silicon sheet tape. Dr Google says that silicone helps reduce the production of collagen, allowing for a less raised scar. Silicone treated tape vs plain old tape sounds to me like the best of both worlds. Anyone have an opinion on this?
Holy moly, my nipples are sensitive. They feel like they're on fire. My nursing nipples felt a lot like this. Massaging helps. Unfortunately, I can't massage my boobs whenever I feel like it. I was out to dinner with friends the other night and had to steal away to the bathroom to massage my girls.
Incisions healing nicely
If my photos would upload, you'd see that my incisions are healing nicely. I'll try again with the photos later. Just 5 days ago at my 1st post-op, my stitches were still visible when the nurse removed the steri strips. When I removed the surgical tape today to apply fresh tape, the stitches were gone. The incision on my left breast looks great already, and it feels smooth to the touch. The right side doesn't look as good, and it feels raised, but I think it still looks pretty amazing after only 16 days. My c-section scar healed very slowly. Months afterwards, it was still so visible I wondered if that's how it was going to be. Then at around a year, I remember being surprised by how much it had faded. I expected the same for these and was surprised that my incisions looked as good as they did.
Changing the surgical tape was a little scary. It hurt a tad less than when you peel off a band aid, and the fear was definitely more mental than anything because I was scared I'd accidentally separate the incision. I'm typically a rip off the band aid and just get it over with kinda person, but I'm typically dealing with a very minor cut or scrape. I was super gentle and slow, and now after I've placed the new tape I wonder if I've done it correctly. I'm really thinking I should do the gel since there seems to be less room for error in its application.
I still love the boobs. I am so happy with the size. They just look very right on me, and it fascinates me how the same implant size can produce such different outcomes on different bodies. I'm glad I didn't have a set # of cc's in my head and just left it up to my PS's judgement based on my goals. In my last minute frenzy, I had doubts and wondered if 300cc's would be too small since it sounds like that's the lower end of what women tend to get, and I've read so many reviews on here about women wishing they had gone bigger. I think reading and seeing the predominantly larger cc's and larger boobs on here caused me to second guess myself.
My boobs look to me much as they did right after surgery. They look a little less fake and feel a little softer but honestly, I don't think they've changed all that much.
My nipples are still sensitive, and let me tell you that putting on a warm surgical bra fresh out of the dryer is pure heaven. I think this nipple sensitivity is more bothersome to me than the pain immediately following surgery. It's so annoying!
Feeling pretty normal now
This was a huge week as far as recovery. My recovery in general has been super easy from day 1. But if work days were more physical - I have a desk job, so by physical I mean spending the day running around town from meeting to meeting in heels - I'd have sore boobs, ultra-sensitive nipples, and burning incision sites at the end of the day. Made me wonder how I'd ever work out again. Miraculously, a few mornings ago I woke up with completely normal-feeling boobs, and I felt totally fine at the end of a long day. I feel so normal and am very eager to get back into a workout routine. Just a two more weeks til my next post op appt when I get clearance to exercise and wear regular bras. Can't wait!
Still loving the boobs and size. My husband, who has been so awesome and supportive, felt all along that I should go bigger. He knew I was doing this for me, so he gave his opinion once and then supported my decision. Today, he said to me that my boobs look like the ones my body is supposed to have. I've known this and have felt like I got exactly the outcome I wanted, but it made me so happy to hear him say that.
Trying again to upload pics
Ok, on my my desktop now so this should work. Incisions are still healing nicely. I'm still using the plain jane surgical tape. I was swamped at work and didn't have time to swing by the PS's office to pick up the silicone gel. I'll do it this week. Oh, and check out the difference between righty and lefty. Looks like some dropping.
Bought some scar gel
I picked up some scar gel from the PS' office today. It's a product they recommended, called Lubriderm, and contains silicone, vitamin E and arnica. I haven't read anything about the product but the ingredients sounded good. I just used vitamin E on my c-section scar, and it healed light and flat. Who knows how much of that is attributable to the vitamim E, though. I'm supposed to massage the gel into the incision sites twice a day, so it's more work than surgical tape which you change every 5-7 days. To be honest, peeling tape off kinda freaked me out. The scar gel felt nice going on. The vitamin E made the incision feel really soft so for that I like it already.
Lumiderm, not Lubriderm
Correction: the product I'm using is Lumiderm.
I'll start with this little story...in my 20's, I moved to NYC and totally wanted to soak up the experience. One Sat night, a friend invited me to some performance art thing. It was a small, smoky place where everyone sipped at a stiff drink, expressionless. I felt so cool to be in a place like that. One performance was an acrobatic type thing -a very chiseled guy in form-fitting briefs and a topless girl with butt-length hair and athletic body. At one point, guy holds girl by ankles and starts swinging her around in the air. What caught my attention? Her boobs stayed perfectly still, like two precise boob sculptures. The contrast between her long flowing hair and stiff boobs struck me as very odd and made me giggle, which completely blew my 'I'm a hip chick' act. When I was contemplating BA, in the deep recesses of my mind flickered the thought of statue-like boobs. Oh, no matter, i thought as I had no intention of ever engaging in a topless acrobatic performance. But natural was my ultimate goal. Well, today as I was brushing my teeth, topless of course so I could check out the girls' progress, what caught my attention but the jiggling of my left boob! I immediately put down my toothbrush and jumped up and down. Sure enough, lefty bounced just like a natural boob. Such a thrilling milestone!!!
Omg, how am I a D cup?!?!
Had my 6 week follow up last week, got the ok to work out and wear normal bras - no underwire the first year, though. I feel fantastic and back to normal. I am so ready to get back into my workout routine. Yay!
Today, I was so excited to visit a bra shop - a full service place where you work with a bra fitter and can't pull stuff off the rack yourself. Not my usual, but I wanted to ensure that the new, improved girls were properly fitted. To my surprise, I am measuring at a 30D. I was in such disbelief until I tried on like 4 different brands. I had a little mental meltdown when I saw the sizes the bra lady was bringing me to try on. D just sounds so big. But I reminded myself that my BA wasn't about cup size. I wanted the size that looked natural on my body in a modest way. I'm beyond happy when I look in the mirror and have been so happy since the day I got my BA. I'm just a little surprised that 300cc's got my deflated barely A's to D's.
Oh, and I always thought I was a 32 in band size, but trying the 30 made me realize that I've been wearing ill-fitting bras all these years. And let me tell you that 30 is very limiting as many bra makers start at 32. I'm paying extra to have my new bras altered.
6 weeks later, 1st post-BA workout
Had my first post-BA workout, and I'm soooo happy!!! I had been doing cross-fit regularly for about a year until my BA. I missed it so much during my recovery because it helps me clear out my brain. I admit, though, that despite missing it, just a few weeks ago I didnt feel recovered enough for it and didnt think I'd be up for it at my 6 week milestone. My recovery has been fantastic, but i've been cautious for fear I'd mess something up. Well, last week that all changed. I think it was mostly mental. I felt less hesitant about physical exertion and using my chest muscles, so I was thrilled to get cleared for regular exercise. This morning, I was back at crossfit. It was wonderful!!!! Make sure you have a very supportive sports bra. I tried on an old one, jogged in place to test it and found that the bounce of my new boobs was very uncomfortable. Thankfully, i had purchased one on sale that kept the girls securely in place. I thought I would skip any exercises that felt wrong on the boobs but found that I felt just fine. Some things, like chest flies, felt weird and different but not painful. I felt ok running and doing push ups. Laying on my stomach was probably the most uncomfortable of the exercises, but it still wasn't bad. My muscles are so sore all over from the workout, but I am just ecstatic to get back into my exercise routine! Maybe I'll take a hot bath tonight because I got the ok for baths, too. I love the 6 week milestone!!!
Finally, real bras!!! 32D and 32DD
10 Apr 2014
2 months post
Picked up a VS bra today. It was the only wireless one they had. It's super comfy and pretty. Size 32D. The second pic is a wireless Wacoal bra in 32DD, which was altered to be closer to a 30 band size. I don't understand bra sizing at all. I don't think anyone would say I was busty. I think my boobs are modest, but DD sounds so huge.