Well - I have been down this road before. I am going to be 45 - weight is 145 - Uggg and I am 5'3". I have had 5pregnancy 3 live births with 2 living children. Yes past history is a making of a lifetime story. I used to be a small 4 and now sweatpants are my friends due to the fact my belly is the same size as my boobs - and hips. So if it fits my belly - no way will it fit my legs - or butt - which with time has given my belly for being the fastest growing part of me.
On to my history - I have wanted to do something like this for a long LONG time. I have had the money in the surgeons hand and had to have an emergency hysterectomy instead! Whoo Hooo luck is with me once again! Signed up again - money in hand - and husband lost his job and had no one helping me with kids. - Of course this has to be God's will for me to walk around and have people ask me if I am pregnant. So take 3 here we are- money has been paid - sister has a flight to help with the kids - spent a small fortune to get all the needed things to make this easier- (ya right) But now to the reason I am doing it. I have had a bumpy life. I guess it started out with a father who did not like me and was never around to the mom who was over worked and over stress and under medicated to deal with 3 kids. I went from one abusive relationship to another. To end up with my husband who for 15 years has spent time in the basement leveling up on World of Warcraft. He has been as abusive as I have let the rest of the people in my life treat me. But now with the help of good friends and lexapro I am ready to have the life I want. Why is it I think an implant will help me be me? I have no idea. Why do I think having this fat - then when sitting it looks like I am not wearing bottoms to a bathing suite - removed it going to help me in some way? I do not know. All I know is I have to do something. I am frozen in this - fear of living the best life I can. Hey if it is broke - can I fix it? Well in this case I can. Maybe this is just a shot in the dark and maybe I am arranging the chairs on the Titanic. But the surgeon who did my eyes - is now going to do my body.
Just to give you an update. After my eyes were done - I told my husband I wanted a divorce. He has been nicer to me and the kids than he ever has. He is in counseling for his anger issues.