I have wanted a boob job for as long as I can...
I have wanted a boob job for as long as I can remember. As a teenager I gained a lot of weight, over the course of years I lost 80lbs. The weight loss left me feeling even unhappier with my lil boobs. Gah, if I only could've appreciated my body back then. I felt like I needed big fake tits to be attractive or sexy. I'd give anything if I'd loved myself.
My BA was performed in June of 2012, I loved them at first but within the first year I started having regrets and looking into explants. Here I am four years later just hoping I can get my perfectly imperfect littles back
30 Yrs Old, No Kids, Want my Natural Little Boobies Back
My story is like so many others, I wanted a BA for as long as I could remember. I scrimped and saved and in June of 2012 I had a BA performed and mini lift. I loved them at first but within the first year was having regrets and researching explants. Here I am four years later just hoping I can get my little boobs back. I'm scared but hopeful. I have a great support system around me and look forward to putting this decision behind me. I have had two consultations already and have two more scheduled.
Just woke up from a dream where I had just come home from my explant, I was scared to see them but was feeling great physically.
Yesterday I had my third consultation. This consultation was with the same PS I had my first consultation with. Both my boyfriend and I felt really good about the consult yesterday. I have one more consultation scheduled for this Monday but as of right now I feel confident moving forward with Doctor #1. So the game plan this doc outlined for me is as follows; go in through my mini lift incisions, remove the bad scars and a little bitty but if excess skin to just give my skin a wee bit of help retracting. Being that the BA scars around my nipples are so bad I asked why he doesn't expect these scars to be bad. He says that he doesn't like that particular incision in combination with an augmentation because it puts a lot of pressure on the incision and thereby making thick scars, so since there won't be any implant stretching the tissues we can expect a better result this time. And since he would be better off using the old incisions than making new ones we might as well just give my bewbies a little bit of help on my way back to natural. I love this super conservative approach. My boobies won't be cut up all over but we're also giving them just the teeniest little lift. And that's right where I wanna be. I was scared of doing no lift but also scared of doing one, and I feel like this is the perfect middle ground. We would be doing a partially capsulectomy to help the tissues heal back down and help avoid chronic seromas, he will also be putting a couple of tiny sutures in to hold the muscle back down in place. Feeling really good and for the first time in my explant journey so far I feel calm and relieved and confident.
I will probably be scheduling my surgery for the 1st of September. I find myself looking at the same explant journeys on here constantly. I've seen most of them before, occasionally there will be a new one but I keep looking at them all over and over.
Surgery is Scheduled!!!
I will be having my surgery at 8am on September 2nd! It feels good to know it is happening and happening relatively soon. What was I thinking to get these toxic bags in the first place. I was telling my boyfriend the other day; it really shows you how badly women must feel about themselves that a surgeon can tell you that you will HAVE to have surgery every ten years to replace implants and we all said "yeah let's do it!"... Seriously, most surgeons will tell you your implants must be replaced regularly and I didn't even bat an eye at it... Did I hate myself so much that the thought of repeated surgeries for the rest of my life was no big deal? I must have... Either way, it'll soon be over, I don't wanna put my poor lil boobs through anymore surgery. Im doing my best to stay positive and keep positive images in my mind towards my results. It's a very scary thing. You really just have to have faith in your surgeon and your body, that it will bounce back, that it will be ok. I've seen some scary photos of some women's results, it's important to see all of them, but the scary ones keep running through my mind so from here forward I am going to put up some pictures in front of my mirror of explant results that get me excited, if only to keep positivity in my mind and projecting out of me. Surgery this time around is scarier than it was before.. I think that's largely impart to do with the fact that I have grown up so much.
My preop will be August 22nd, the Monday before I leave for a business trip that Thursday and then I get back from my business trip and go into surgery a couple days later, maybe it'll keep me from worrying too much lol
Either way ladies, I'm on my way to being implant free!
The countdown begins
Well, surgery is less than 2 days away. I'm excited and nervous. Basically feel like a ping pong ball (as one of the ladies in my explant Facebook group would say) right now. Back and forth, scared then excited then scared again. I've seen a lot of good results so I'm trying to keep those in my mind. I am so ready to be home (I'm still at work) needless to say I haven't gotten anything done today. In my heart I believe this is right. It's just that little doubt of not knowing exactly how I'll look that scares me. I wouldn't have made it this far if it weren't for all of the other ladies here on realself or the women of my Facebook group, so thanks for sharing your stories, they've def been helping me feel calmer when I'm going nuts inside today.
Had my surgery yesterday!
The implants are OUT!! I didn't even realize how happy I would be! I haven't seen them yet and won't until tomorrow but I am feeling so good about having those things removed! I'll post some pictures tomorrow depending on how I'm feeling. Can't wait to see what the next six months bring. I'm feeling very optimistic at this point ??
Yesterday was fairly uncomfortable and I obviously still have pain and discomfort but the boyfriend is keeping me on a regiment with my meds and that makes all the difference, especially the muscle relaxer. Anyway, I'll try to post tomorrow! Happy healing to all the other ladies out there going through the same thing!
48 hours post op
So I am 48 hours out of surgery. The pain is not too bad, my left breast tends to hurt more but as it turns out that breast had a much larger pocket and the implant had flipped backwards somehow and that was the breast that always hurt more with the implants. So far I'm pretty pleased with my appearance. I know they're going to change quite a bit over the next few months and right now they're swollen along with my sternum and my stomach and maybe even my thighs. But that's not much of a surprise since I have always been prone to swelling quite a bit. So I look forward to the swelling going down and seeing the changes my breasts make down the road. I'll be glad when I can have free range of motion again and can use my arms like normal. I tried to put a bagel in the toaster yesterday and pressing the toaster thing down hurt like a mofo and I might be sore from that. Needless to say I won't do that again. My right breast is larger than my left but that was present before the breast augmentation so also no surprise there. You'll see in my pictures how swollen my belly is.
4 days post explant
Day three and day four have probably been the most uncomfortable, the drains are starting to annoy me and sleeping on a wedge pillow to stay elevated is also starting to get old. But I'm still super happy those things are out of me! Really looking forward to seeing my lil boobs do their thing! My smaller left breast (your right) has fluffed a wee bit in the last couple of days. Two days ago it was very flat where it meets my sternum but there's a lil shape there now!
8 days post
Well I'm a week and a day post op today. Feeling better than I have so that's good news. My left nipple is crazy sensitive, and I have no sensation in my right lol. Hopefully they'll even out a bit. Also hoping that my lil baby boobies will even out a bit. The dent under my left breast, that was present with implants but not nearly as noticeable, has filled in a wee bit, hoping that continues to improve. Glad to be feeling more human and haven't needed my muscle relaxers or pain meds much. I think I needed them more when my drains were still in. My first post op was two days ago and they removed my bandages and drains then. Whew! I don't ever wanna have drains again, that was by far the strangest most uncomfortable feeling I've ever had. Glad those babies are out though! I've been given orders to stay home for another 10 days after my post op and to continue taking it easy. Guess I get to catch up on some reading!
Today's been a tough day for me emotionally. I never wanna have implants again, never! But I'm feeling as if the great majority of women have better results from their explant than I have. I've been told to be patient, I'm only two weeks out, but I see pictures of women on day 1 that look a million times better than me. I don't know if it's just that having the implants magnified my natural asymmetry and now it's just worse plus the internal adhesion I suspect I have. Most other women look so natural after their explant and I look so so messed up. I'm sad tonight. I know there are still changes to come and maybe this is just part of my journey, I know it comes with a lot of emotions. But I'm sad.
Just wanted to say my realself app keeps telling me I have a new message but when I log in I don't see anything. If you've messaged me just let me know in the comments I guess
Post Op 2!
Had my second post op this morning and I'm feeling great! Got those stitches out and I'm so much more comfortable, I've been given the clear to do whatever feels comfortable and begin massaging the adhesion. Can't wait for all the glue to come off, I'm not a picker so it always takes forever. I'm still a bit sore and tender, experiencing some premenstrual swelling so that's adding to the discomfort but I'm just keeping my compression on to help with that. I go back to work tomorrow, I have a feeling my first week back at work is gonna be extra tiring but we gotta go back sometime, after all, it's time to go bra shopping and fall wardrobe shopping!
I will probably post some more pics once all the glue is gone. I am so looking forward to enjoying this upcoming holiday season in a more comfortable body!
This is actually not as comfortable as my compression but I feel like I have a waist again! There is some padding in this bra (which I didn't realize when I bought it) so it's a lil misleading. Either way, despite the lil bit of swelling (in my tums) and potential weight gain, i feel more attractive than I have in years!