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9 months post explant
As you can see by my pic, my left breast seems to have filled in a little. I still clearly have a pocket there that is even more noticeable if I raise my arms or lie on my back. But overall, I would have easily been satisfied if both had the look of the left breast. Sorry for the poor picture (and my thumb). It was late and I was tired.
My poor pitiful right breast I do believe is permanently stuck. At times it seems like I may have more fullness at the top. And at times it seems exactly the same. I think that skin is stuck and it appears that no amount of time or gravity will help.
Medically wise, my chemical sensitivity has worsened even more. I have recently learned that people with MCS don't generally tolerate anesthesia well, as it's a mixture of chemicals. It has spiraled my chemical sensitivity out of control and I'm now researching doctors to treat this condition. Certainly if any of you ladies have suffered from MCS and have found a way to beat it, please let me know any advice or doctor reference you have for treatment.
I, of course, can't tolerate more anesthesia for more surgery but regardless of that, I am still at a place mentally in which I'm ok with how I look for now. No, I don't love it. And I don't look at myself and think I have beautiful breast. But I do look at myself and think, "You survived." And then these breasts seem like war heros. Lol
My husband loves me any way I am. I have to appreciate that. We joke.
Me: If you're into big boobs you'll have to look elsewhere.
Him: Been there, had those
Me: If you're into normal boobs, you'll have to look elsewhere.
Him: Been there. Had those. They are way overrated.
And I appreciate that we can joke about it and that I'm loved for far more than my looks.
For you ladies who have had less than perfect explant cosmetic outcomes, I know how emotional it can be. But if you were sick from your implants, with them nearly destroying you, as mine did, focus on your health. We can purchase pretty bras. But good health is priceless.
More changes than I realized
Another Woman Like Me!!!
Two things have been suggested to me recently though. One is to massage with frankincense oil. And the other is to massage with all natural progesterone cream. Anyone heard of either of these options making a difference in concaved Breasts or to help with fluffing?
Provider Review
In my experience, this surgeon was dishonest. My surgery was two fold - explant for medical/health reasons and lift for cosmetic reasons. The lift was optional. But I didn't want to be deformed. Crispin was the 2nd surgeon I consulted with. He admitted he had little experience with removal of the scar tissue but stated that he had done it and could do it for me. He mentioned possible poor cosmetic results. When I asked him to explain, he said I had very little tissue left and removal of my scar tissue would make my breasts even smaller. I explained to him that my health was my first priority and that while looks matter hence me paying for a lift, it wouldn't matter what size I was if in still sick as a result of toxic scar tissue left inside me. Once again, he assured me he could do this surgery never mentioning possible deformity or that I should consult with other surgeons or save my $5000 from the lift since I would be deformed regardless. Post surgery, when it was obvious I was going to be permanently deformed, Crispin was verbally cruel stating that he warned me of this outcome and that I looked good with the implants in and he could put them back in for me. He suggested I needed to see a therapist and further implied that maybe I wasn't sick after all. I don't guess I will ever know 100% if this cosmetic outcome would have happened regardless of the surgeon I chose. But I do know he wasn't 100% honest upfront about his capabilities and he completely lacked compassion when he saw the outcome. He not only accepted no responsibility, instead of saying these things can happen beyond anyone's control or something else of that sort, he was cruel with his words and attitude at a time when I was most vulnerable, often insulting me in his attempt to put the responsibility of the poor cosmetic outcome on me. And my gut feeling is that the outcome is a result of his lack of expertise. I wish he would have told me he didn't have enough experience or that he could try to do it rather than telling me 100% he could successfully do this surgery when clearly that doesn't appear to be the case. My surgery was still worth it because I would have chosen to be deformed to get the implants out and regain my health had that been my only choice. I should also note that one of my deciding factors in choosing this surgeon was one of the girls in his office telling me another doctor had left her messed up and Crispin fixed her and made her beautiful. She told me over and over again how good a job he would do in making me beautiful. Whether this was all a lie to pull me in, I will never know.