49 Yr Old with 53 Yr Old Hubby -- Both Getting Biltmore Lift! Asheville, NC

I can honestly say, I've lived a blessed life and I’m even excited about the prospect of turning 50 years old later this year. While I don't need a major overhaul, I’ve always known, the time for me to address facial/neck sagging would be before it garnered enough momentum to drastically change the structure of my face, and also, that the right procedure(s) done at the right time(s) should enhance my face/neck without anyone realizing I obviously had “work” done...they'd just think I'd aged gracefully....and I WILL have aged gracefully...only with the help of a gifted plastic surgeon!! In that respect, plastic surgery has been a measure which I would utilize “as needed” when the time came, and after 49 years, I am utilizing it!!!

About a year ago, I started noticing the laxity and droopiness of my neck and jaw area, which began loosening 8 years earlier, was accelerating to the point of where my neck was spilling over my turtlenecks, and "disrupting" my profile. As a former beauty queen who never before had to think about angling my head/neck for a “good” photo, I found that I HATED having my photo taken and pretty much shunned cameras!!

Also, I realized the reason why my eyelashes were hitting my upper lids and leaving mascara marks was NOT because they had suddenly grown longer, but because my eyelids were sagging down onto them!!! For the most part, I’ve gone through life looking younger than my chronological age. Yet, my eyes, lower face, and neck have started closing that gap---quickly!! Therefore, I finally decided to take charge of the aging process and get a couple of things "tweaked" before I began to look OLDER than my actual age. In short, I am vain y'all!! LOL!

However, when I told my husband I wanted this surgery, he was worried that the face he fell in love with 23 years ago would be unrecognizable to him. However, after I assured him (and our 3 sons) that I'd done my research, I showed him Dr. Harley's results’ photos & video; PLUS, the reviews & photos of the generous women in the RealSelf community who’d already had the surgery and shared their photos & experiences with RealSelf. Not only was my husband convinced Dr. Harley was the right surgeon with the right procedure(s) for me, but HE himself wanted to have the Biltmore Lift too!! Therefore, I guess my husband and I are evenly matched when it comes to vanity!!! LOL!!

With that said, my hubby and I have already filled out the in-take forms, and I've done a phone consultation with Dr. Harley (oh, he is a sweet & kind man). He talked me through the entire process and answered my questions. My husband will have a phone consultation with Dr. Harley later. From the 3 photos of me that I initially sent in to him (pictured in this post) I decided to have the Biltmore Lift procedure, as well as, my upper eyelids done. When Dr. Harley sees me in person, he and I may decide to do the lower lids as well, but I don't want to have any surgeries before I actually need them. I'd rather do too little than too much. Plus...when he sees me in person, if he doesn't think I need the upper lids done, then I won't.

As for my husband, he's probably getting "the full meal deal", so to speak...Biltmore Lift, along with upper and lower eyelids lifted. I don't have definite surgery dates yet, but I do know that they will be back-to-back with Dr. Harley performing my surgery on one day, and then performing my husband's procedures the following day. We live about 7 hours from Asheville, so we'll be driving and bringing one or two people with us. We're also planning on having hubby's dermatologist take out our stitches.

Since so many women have been brave enough to post their photos and document their experiences with the Biltmore Lift and Dr. Harley, I feel that it is only fair that I do the same. These courageous women are the very reason I’m having the surgery with Dr. Harley. However, I will probably show my husband's "before and after" photos ONLY if he agrees to let me do so. If possible, I will try and document his recovery too, but he travels a lot with our family business and is only home 2-5 days a month, so it will be rather challenging to do so. Honestly, it's a miracle he even has the time to fit this surgery into his schedule. Since he works incredibly hard, and rarely does anything for himself, especially on this level, I am probably more thrilled that he’s having the surgery than I am for myself!! I'll update with more photos and insights/experiences as this process unfolds for me. I'll also share our surgery dates once they are solidified. Thank you for your support and encouragement in advance.

Juanita (from Dr. Harley's office) called to finalize our surgery dates. YAY!! I'll have my surgery on March 16th and my husband will have his on March 17th. Oddly enough, hubby did not want to go first. When I questioned him as to why, he said, "Just in case something goes wrong!" Of course, I had to ask him if he’d also throw me in front of speeding bullet if one happened to be headed our way, and save himself. To which he replied, " I MEANT, that If something goes wrong, then you can afford to BE less attractive, but since I (meaning himself) am just passably attractive, I CAN’T!!" LOL!! I’ve never heard such “logic”!!! LOL!! Personally, I think he's afraid to admit he’s …... well, AFRAID!!
I thought our surgeries would be on the 15th and 16th of March, but I was mistaken. I’m so glad Juanita called to confirm the actual dates (16th & 17th). I have to REALLY hand it to Dr. Harley and his staff…It’s been a bit of a juggling act on their part to work around my husband’s business schedule, do individual phone consults with both of us, and schedule us for back-to-back surgery dates!! However, they pulled it off!!!
Since there will be two if us having the procedure, and none of our family knows we’re having this surgery (except for our 3 sons, who won’t “squeal” on us), we are taking our fabulous housekeeper and her husband along to “see to us” when needed. It’s a good thing we’re all friends too since I’ve booked a 2-bedroom suite at the Residence Inn Asheville Biltmore. This arrangement affords us the convenience of having help at hand, a driver for the 7-hour trip back home, and access to a full kitchen. We’ll arrive the day before my surgery to stock the fridge and pick up any last minute items we may need.
Because of the helpful tips from folks like TracyAnne, Caribbeangal, liaiki, and Klauderb, I’ve already started purchasing items they suggested to make the healing process easier. To them I say, “Thank you ladies!!!”
Perhaps the most challenging part of this process is keeping a lid on our surgeries. I totally forgot that Easter is March 27th this year. We have a close family (both sides) that ALWAYS spends Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, etc… at my house! They are a fun-loving, but VERY nosey group of people (especially my sweet mother-in-law) --- think of the as the family in ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding’ but substitute wild game on a grill for the pig on a spit in their front yard, throw in camouflage clothing, southern drawls, and a side of potato salad, and you have our family!! So, you can probably understand why we’re still trying to figure out how to keep them in the dark until WE decide to share that info or admit to anything! The next few months are going to be interesting, to say the least! 34 days and counting…

One of the best ways I have found to hide my saggy neck is with my hair! However, I sure would like to be able to wear my hair up without feeling self-conscious and paranoid about the state of my saggy jawline. Over the years, I've gotten pretty adept at hiding it. Just 32 more days until I can stop hiding my neck underneath my hair!!! YAY!!! I also won't mind getting rid of the bags underneath my eyes either. While I'm not smiling really big here, whenever I DO smile really big, my eyes look like they are sandwiched between two marshmallows---one above and one below each eye!! I took this photo yesterday, right after I came in from grocery shopping. I'm wearing foundation, mascara, lip gloss, and a smidgen of blush. I find that the older I get, the less I want to wear anything more than the fastest makeup application possible. Although I doubt anyone can tell, I actually DID brush my hair. It was an incredibly windy day , which made my hair frizzy and big. :)

Here's a picture of the neck I usually hide behind my hair. I'll be glad to say, "Good riddance", to this eye sore!!! 31 more days...

My husband “K” was home (well, at our hunting plantation, which is close enough to home for me to see him) for about 36 hours this weekend, and he turned back to snap a photo of me as he headed downstairs yesterday. I went ahead and included it with this post. I was leaning over the railing, which is not the most flattering position to begin with, but it allows you to see the under eye wrinkles, as well as, the sag in my upper eyelids. As I did not sleep well the previous night, my eyes are puffier than usual. There is a shadow across the top of my face from my hair (bangs) which is also hiding my saggy neck. However, I assure you --- the saggy neck is STILL there!

"Oh what a tangled web we weave,
When first we practice to deceive!"
~ Sir Walter Scott (1771–1832), Marmion, A Tale of Flodden Field, Canto vi Stanza 17…

I thought the above line of poetry most “fitting” for the “plan” we’ve hatched (or are trying to hatch) to conceal the fact we are BOTH having plastic surgery!! LOL!! Considering we entertained clients/friends over the “weekend”, we were lucky to find time to “hatch” our plans for merging our surgeries with our boys’ spring break(s) and Easter (all happening within days of each other and within 3 different states for us) without alerting the rest of the ‘hillbilly clan’ (AKA our relatives) to our plans. I swear, if we pull this one off, then the CIA seriously needs to consider hiring us for one of their “covert” operations, preferably one that features potato salad, deviled eggs, and sweet tea!!!!

Our biggest challenge seems to be finding a place to “hide out” for about 9 days after we leave Asheville following our surgical procedures. Since we employ several of our ‘hillbilly clan’ at the plantation, that location is O-U-T! We have several beach houses that we rent out to others in Florida, but we’d probably see friends there, so that only leaves our lake house 2 hours south of Atlanta---which we also rent out! LOL!!! Shoot, we often rent out the plantation in the off-season for events other than weddings—anything to off-set the bills/upkeep costs, while allowing us to have access to family & water sports types of locations. However, and here’s the rub---we have to BLOCK OUT dates for our family at any of our vacation rentals IN ADVANCE, so they are not rented out when we want the use of them! I’m crossing my fingers and saying a prayer that the dates for March 19th – March 28th are open!! It would totally SUCK to have to rent a place to stay because our lake house was already rented out!!

That aside, I’ve been looking at wedge pillows to keep us “propped up” and the swelling down for (at least) the first 2 weeks after surgery. I found several types and heights. From my research, it looks like the wedge pillow with an inch of memory foam is the one most people prefer. However, it comes in 7”, 10”, and 12” heights and are about $40 apiece. Of course, being the coupon queen that I am, I did not want to buy anything we did not absolutely HAVE TO HAVE, and wanted to go with the 10” pillow. However, my husband “K”, who is NOT a coupon queen (or any kind of queen for that matter, LOL), said, “Just go ahead and order two of each pillow.” Then added, “Look baby, I’m dropping about $27,000 on this surgery (hotel, gas, food, housekeeper, etc...,), so I’m not going to skimp on some pillows, humidifiers, or anything else that’ll make us comfortable!” Any thoughts on the wedge pillows before I purchase a HALF-DOZEN of them (in various sizes, no less) would be appreciated from anyone! I don’t want to needlessly purchase the angled fluffy little fellas, or the WRONG angled fluffy little fellas!

Okay, before you go thinking we are some sort of privileged rich folks, remember, there’s a price and a sacrifice for everything in this life! Over the years, we’ve had to say “No” to a lot of life’s offerings in order to be able to say “Yes” to better offerings years down the road---with everything being earned by my husband alone. In fact, the only thing I can recall anyone EVER giving us…..... is TROUBLE!! LOL!!

Instead of spending money on vacations to places like Hawaii each year, we generally use the vacation properties we own AS our own mini vacation destinations whenever “K’s” schedule allows. Honestly, the man thinks of going to the plantation and hunting with me and the boys for a weekend as a vacation. When we are entertaining clients there, then it becomes a “working” vacation! LOL!! I think you get the picture!!! :)

Here's the photo that did not upload. You should be able to see the wrinkles above and below my eyes!!

TracyAnne, who has truly been an inspiration to me and a such joy to watch as her results have (and continue to) unfolded, had some practical advice for me about those SIX wedge pillows! Honestly, she's just WAY too kind to me and she cracks me up---a LOT!!! LOL!!! I'm definitely going with two of the 10" wedge pillows, as it’s the rational option. You know, it never crossed my mind as to WHO would be hauling a half-dozen wedge pillows to and from the hotel room. It's fair to say that anytime I've envisioned the 4 of us (me, my hubby, our housekeeper, housekeeper's husband) traipsing through the lobby of our hotel before my March 16th surgery, I don't ever recall envisioning one of those 6 wedge pillows being carried in by me!!! LOL!!!

My husband just texted me, and some guy from Wisconsin had already booked our Lake Blackshear lake house for a span of almost 3 months straight and it won’t be available until sometime in April. So, our perfect hideout has been nabbed --- by a cheese head!!! I was so frustrated by the news, that had the guy been standing before me at that moment, I’d have thumped him on his cheese wedged head!!!! Sure, he’s probably just trying to escape the Wisconsin cold weather, but we NEED to escape my mother-in-law!!!

Of course my husband tried to console me by saying, “Hey, we could just recover at home and tell my mother (& everyone else) that we have come down with something that is contagious ---- to keep her away until we are healed up!” However, I reminded him that our youngest son would be home from boarding school (Spring Break) until March 28th, and that no one IN THEIR RIGHT MIND who knows us would believe we’d risk exposing our child to "something" that was contagious! Like we'd even have the boy "nurse" us back to health from some contagious mystery sickness.....PUH-LEEZE!!! Plus, nothing short of a hazmat team entering our home through one of those elephant-sized big white tent-tubes like they used to grab that alien critter in the E.T. movie, AND an emergency broadcast warning from the World Health Organization would stop his mother from slapping on her CVS purchased medical mask and gloves (yes, she has her own) and making her way into our home to see firsthand what we’d “come down with!”

Therefore, we are still at odds over where we’re going to stay. With the Lake Blackshear lake house leased out, and our Mexico Beach rentals already booked up, and the “hillbilly clan” milling about at Federwild plantation, it looks like we are going to have to rent something like a “No Tell Motel” room (or rooms since there IS our youngest child to consider) in a town about an hour north of home.

Now, you DO realize that had K not wanted to do this surgery with me, then none of this “Mission Impossible: Hillbilly Protocol” covert activity would be necessary!?!?! I KNOW I sound like a selfish ungrateful gal, but DANG!!!! While I am thankful my husband not only supports me to the point of JOINING me in this endeavor, and he’s certainly generous to a fault where I am concerned, the thing that gives me REAL comfort is knowing that SOON I’ll have the nicest jawline of any patient in the HOSPITAL PSYCH WARD!!

We are 2 weeks away from our surgery dates and I'm getting more and more excited with each passing day! Plus, we just added another person to our trip---our 17 yr old son---the baby of the family, if you will. His boarding school's spring break begins the day I have surgery and we'd already planned on our oldest son traveling to out of state to pick up his little brother. However, when he found out our housekeeper's husband would be our driver, he begged me to e-mail the school to let him finish up his final exams early and go to Asheville with us. Was it because of his deep & undying love for his parents? Nah!!! Our baby loves gaming, and so does our housekeepers' husband, SOOOO the boy wants to bring his PS4, dual computer monitors, controllers, speakers, a power surge outlet strip, and game with her hubby (while the man's not driving us to the doctor's office & home)! Good Lord, I think we’re gonna need a U-Haul!! Of course, being the suckers we are, we said, "Yes." Therefore, we'll be a party of five!

Yesterday, I tried Dermablend under my eyes to get an idea of what it would look like on me. I must say, it is REALLY thick stuff, and did not look very natural at all. I don't think it's for me...neither does my hubby. It looked like I was wearing a LOT of makeup and it seemed to settle into my wrinkles making them MORE evident. So, I may just use a concealer I already have that’s probably 2 years old because I'm not a huge concealer fan. In my experience, concealers seem to draw attention to the area I want to hide...if that makes sense.

Also, at the last minute, instead of purchasing a wedge, I decided to go with a pillow system for each of us. Since my husband spends most of his time in hotel rooms across the country, this pillow system, which mimics a recliner, looked like a good solution for him. I found the best price on e-bay from a company named Brookstone. It was $180 per system with free shipping. While I hated spending the money, the reviews for the product (on several sites) were fabulous. I’ll let everyone know what we think about the system once we’ve lived with it for a few days following our surgeries.

My husband is starting to get nervous about his procedures and is actually questioning if he needs to have them or not. Are you kiddin’ me? This is the SAME man who virtually hijacked this surgery from me, and NOW he’s not sure?!?! Somebody better “call the law” because I’m about to murder the man!!! After moving Heaven and Earth to get everything lined up to fall within HIS tight schedule, I’m not about to let him back out---that’s NOT going to happen folks!!! Therefore, I’ve been showing him all of the wonderful results Dr. Harley’s patients have shared, which seems to tamp down his fears. Plus, our 17 yr old will act as my “wing man” to ‘Git ‘Er Done!” LOL!!!!

I’ve posted a photo of our son in his uniform. Out of our 3 sons, he’s the only child that completely looks like “my people”. He’ll graduate a year early in May, and I’ll be his escort when he is presented under the saber arch on April 30th at his school’s military ball. Y'all, I just might wear my hair up to show off Dr. Harley’s “neck work”, which would NEVER be a possibility before discovering the good doctor!! I’m excited about the options having this surgery will afford me in the future. Woo Hoo!!!!

As far as keeping our surgeries a secret from our hillbilly clan, I am just NOT going to say anything to them. We’ll split our recovery time between our home and the plantation. My hubby is going to park his very identifiable truck (a huge black Ford truck with camo wrap & a wench on the front of it) at an undisclosed location. Our youngest son will run interference for us at both places. He's our designated partner in "plastic surgery crime"! LOL!!

Because no one will see hubby’s truck, they will not have any reason to look for him. He’ll stay upstairs in both places, which have recliners in the bedrooms (both at home and plantation). We’ll just arrive after dark at both places so no one gets suspicious. As far as what cover story (aka…LIE) we are going to stick with, well, I’m leaving it up to my husband since it’s really HIS family (namely his mother) that we have to assuage. Frankly, I’m sick of worrying about it, so I’m going to make this one thing HIS responsibility. After all, I have done EVERYTHING from researching and identifying my doctor (which quickly became HIS doctor too), scheduling the surgeries, the hotel rooms, juggling our two youngest sons’ spring breaks, ordering items we need, getting our driver & caretaker lined up, etc…therefore, my husband can take care of this ONE thing, OR…….I’m taking his butt to divorce court people!!! LOL!!!

Here is the photo of our handsome 17 year old son that did not properly load. He's going to add his encouraging voice in case my husband (his father) starts getting cold feet while we are in Asheville 2 weeks from today! :)

I was hoping the two pillow systems I ordered from Brookstone's ebay online store would arrive sooner than expected, and they did! Our oldest son met the UPS guy on the front porch and brought the box into the house so I could open up one of the 2 smaller boxes ( located inside the big box).

When he asked what was inside and I said, "pllows", his eyebrows shot up and he replied, "PILLOWS?!?! Are you sure?" " 'Cause this box weighs about 35 pounds mother, and I'm positive pillows are NOT suposed to weigh as much as a 5 year old kid!" Since he was skeptical, I let him do the honors of opening up one small box. Sure enough, once he broke open the plastic shrink wrapped bag, the set of 4 "freeze-dried" pillows puffed up into 4 HUGE marshmallow-like pillows! I must say, it was quite entertaining and everyone agreed it was one of the most awesome things we'd seen in a long time!!! LOL!!!

So, me being "me", I dragged this 4 pc pillow system upstairs and set it up on myside of the bed. WOW! It's really BIG!!! The first though that ran through my head was how in the world will my husband and I BOTH be able to sleep on these things in the hotel's queen-sized bed?!?! The hotel we've booked for our stay only offers queen-sized beds in their 2 bedroom suites, so the final sleeping arrangements are going to be interesting!!!

I took two pictures of the bedding system set up on our king-sized bed at home. The system makes the bed look like a double-bed in my opinion. I'm going to practice sleeing on it for the next 2-3 nights before I even THINK about opening up the other pillow system. One thing I've alreadu noticed is that there is relatively NO smell coming from the pillows, and they are made from squishy memory foam with a very soft velour zippered covering on them. Each set was about $180 and I will need to put them back into a large bag and suck the air out before we even think of heading to Asheville. We'll be making the trip in my extended length Escalade, but with 5 people, a Yeti cooler for the items & meals I've pre- cooked & frozen, the gaming system console/flat screen monitors, and luggage, we don't need these huge pillows eating up any of our space.

I know, some of you are probably thinking, "Who cooks and freezes food for a plastic surgery trip?" Well, "I" do!! LOL!! Here's my thought proces ---- Of course we'll purchase fresh organic produce like pineapple, blueberrries, and salad mixes from Asheville's Earthfare for me and the hubby, but there are STILL 3 people who are NOT going to have plastic surgery, but who will be with us (housekeeper, her husband, and our youngest son) and need to eat too. Our hotel suite has a full kitchen, so I really don't want to feed my child, who eats dining hall food at his boarding school, fast food when he'd rather have my home cooked food. Plus, I already cooked and seasoned chicken breast strips to go on top of our salad mixes with my homemade dressings, and froze a few slices of 14-layer chocolate cake too. This way, I can control the sodium content of our (me & hubby's) food without losing nutritional value, and make the other 3 "non-plastic surgery" people happy too!! :)

For weeks now, it’s been like a high-wire act getting everything ready for our surgeries. It’s taken a lot effort and planning on my part to co-ordinate everyone's schedules (5 people), book hotel suites, make sure everyone has the foods they need, order & pick up every product we need to make sure our trip goes off without a hitch. In other words, it’s been stressful!!!

You know, I didn’t really freak out when I heard about Dr. Harley being in the hospital and canceling appointments/procedures at the beginning of the week. In fact, I was more concerned about Dr. Harley and hoping my husband would still be able to have his surgery. Even if I had to have my surgery at a later date, then it would still be alright. Fortunately, if Dr. Harley's doctor releases him from the hospital today or tomorrow, it looks like Dr. Harley will be out through Wednesday, and all patients scheduled after that date will not be affected by his illness. That means my husband will be able to get his surgery done. Also, due to a cancellation on Friday, we were able to move BOTH of our surgeries back by one day. So, I was even okay after all of this re-juggling of an already tight schedule.

HOWEVER, the minute the young guy from hotel reservations told me we could not shift our reservation dates back by one day because they are booked up, well, now THAT'S when I lost it---Actually, it was right AFTER I hung up the phone with him. I just broke down and had myself one big ol' pity party complete with tears and 4-letter words!!! Once I pulled myself together, I called Juanita to see if maybe we needed to cancel. She was able to help me realize we needed to do the surgeries this week, then head home less than 24 hours after my husband has his surgery, because finding another hotel with apartment-like suites was not going to happen. So, we’re making the best of our limited options. My husband is pretty high-maintenance, so I was hoping we’d have an extra day for him to recover before we made the long trip back home, but that’s not going to happen. Therefore, our strategy will be to drug the bejesus out of him so that he sleeps the entire way home!! LOL!!

While I am looking forward to the results that will come from having this surgery, this whole process has honestly evolved into one continuous Maalox moment!!! I know this is SUPPOSED to be a brief period of time when I get to focus on myself. However, with all the folks I have to “see to” and make sure everything goes smoothly for, it feels like I'm nothing more than an events planner, travel agent, taxi service, and caterer for a FREAKING TOUR GROUP---and as an after-thought, I’ll be having surgery! I KNOW that is not the reality of my situation, but just feelings resulting from having extra responsibilities and expectations (and people) foisted onto me. I am a nurturer by nature, and always try to make my family and friends as comfortable as possible. However, this is far more than I bargained for, so I’ll just try and get through it as best I can. Which means I am looking forward to a valium-induced sleep come Thursday!! It’ll be like a mini-vacation for me!!! LOL!!!

On a more positive note, I actually decided to tell my brother, who is a retired nurse, about our surgeries. He will be running “interference” with my parents and also taking out our stitches, so we won’t have to turn around and make the long haul back to Asheville a few days after we get back home. YAY!!

Anyway, I pray Dr. Harley continues to get better and also, that we get through this week without me having another come apart.

Okay, here they are---a few pictures of my husband, along with me. As you know, we've been married for almost 24 years. Over the 2 years or so, my hubby (K) has lost about 45 pounds and works out pretty regularly, which is great since he has a very stressful job and lives out of hotel rooms 90% of the time. He looks a lot younger without the 4 pounds on him, but it left him with a very saggy neck. You can't really see it from the angle taken of him in the black shirt, but you can kind of get an idea that he works out and he's still a doll! The photo of him all sweaty was taken at a wedding 5 years ago. He is a dancing machine and you can see from that photo how he's transformed, and also the neck that is actually still there. In the second photo of us 'then " and "now", although we both look a little weird in the "now" photo, you can see how I learned to hide my neck with my hair, and hopefully, you can somewhat see that he has a saggy neck that's hiding in the shadows of this photo. I also included the "before" photo K submitted to Dr. Harley. It's probably the worst photo I've ever seen of him and it makes me want to cry for him. He looks exhausted & beaten down in this photo. Although this man can aggravate me more than anyone on thid planet, I thank God every day that K's in my life! I cannot imagine being married to anyone else. He is the heart & soul of our family and the burden he carries of providing a livelihood for so many members of our "clan" is considerable, and one he takes seriously. I can honestly say I am just as much in love with K today as I was on the day we married, and I still get that "giddy" feeling in my stomach whenever he walks into a room or I hear his distinctive laughter. We were such an unlikely pairing when we met, and no one would have thought we'd have lasted one year. I was so spoiled (still am), and he was so wild and inapproprite (still is), but according to my girlfriends, the man still lights up when I walk into a room and the single ones really wish he had a brother just like him that I could fix them up with. LOL!!! Sorry to gush so much over K, but I promise you, in spite of him being high maintenence, K REALLY IS that wonderful and he deserves to have this surgery more than anyone I know. :)

Hi everyone! We leave in a few minutes to have the first of our two surgeries. I'm exhausted, so my "before" photos with Dr. Harley should be doozies!!! LOL!!!

Thank you for the prayers, and kind words I read last night and I will comment on them in the next few days. I was just too tired to do it last night. In my haste to get out of Earthfare, I left my phone there, so, we'll have to pick it up on the way to Dr. Harley's office.

Thanks again, and look for an updatedd post from me in the next 48 hours. Until then, I'm just going to enjoy the Valium and rest that I desparately need!! :)

However, I will address one thing---to Realself, at NO TIME did I EVER think Dontgetold was soliciting me. She was of GREAT help to me!!! It was her suggestions that led me to the perfect place to stay for my family---which turned out to be none of those that she mentioned. So, I am heartbroken that she was negatively impacted for helping me. It seems so wrong, and I appreciate her very much and I'm grateful to her. I NEEDED help and she gave it---that's EXACTLY within the spirit of this community in my opinion.

Everyone please have a great day! :)

Hi everyone! I'm tired and on pain pills, but I thoufgt I'd go ahead and send out a few photos. Boydod I ever look like a chipmunk!!! I just gotthe Biltmore Lift and upper eys done. he sad my lower eyes did not need anyhing. While I could ahve done the filler for the lines from my nose to the mouth, I said no.

I'm very swollen and looked deformed due to the swelling! Going badk to leepp now....

I forgot to upload them...my mind is very fuzzy!

Glad to be headed back home, but REALLY thankful we were able to stay that extra day. Hubby desperately needed it. He is starting to swell---A LOT! I am bruising around my eyes and have very little pain. Just pray I don't puke on the way home. while I am grateful to have our housekeepers husband driving us, he is not familiar with my escalade and is jerking us around like rag dolls. Still icing my face down for swelling. K is getting on all of our nerves, so giving him extra medication so he can sleep as much as possible. Since I am married to a man, and raising three, I can say with authority that men are SOOOOOOI much worse to take care of than women are!!! However, all in all, we are doing good.

Today makes 5 days since I had surgery, and 4 since K had his. Even though he had one more procedure than I did (the lower bleph), I'm totally jealous because he's bouncing back and already looking so great!! On the other hand, I look like I'm ready to audition for "Sharknado: Revenge of the Hammerheads!" My eyes and cheek area are STILL incredibly swollen (and WIDE like a hammerhead shark), but coming down---slowly. I did not ice my face as much as K did, but I am making up for lost time now!!! As you can see, I have bruising around the eyes and a little yellowing under the chin. It's not really that bad. Also, I ordered a couple of full face masks that can be used as a cold or warm compress. They were about $20 apiece. I'll let you know what we think about them once we've used them a couple of times. Anyway, hubby left this morning to go check on a client in Florida because he's dodging his mother! K made the mistake of driving his truck to check on a job our oldest son is running here in our hometown. He was gone all of 45 minutes, but apparently that was enough to put him on the woman's radar because he got a text from her this morning wanting to know if he was in town!!!! Therefore, so as to not make too much of a liar of himself to his mother, he texted her back with, "No Mam, I'm working!" Then he had our two youngest sons grab up all of his "stuff", let me snap a couple of photos of him , gave me a smooch on the lips, then let me know he'd be back sometime Friday! Not to be outdone, my OWN mother went one better!!!! Keep in mind, my vehicle has been taken to our mechanic's shop and hidden there, the blinds & drapes are drawn, and I'm ensconced in my bedroom upstairs. We are keeping the front door locked and If I need anything, I just use the back staircase right off our bedroom door that takes me to the butler's pantry and right into the kitchen without anyone being the wiser. SOOOO what would possibly make anyone THINK "I" am home, OR much less make them think they could "get" to me?!?! Well, in my husband's haste to get out of the house and save HIMSELF from his OWN mother this morning, he forgot to turn off the tv in the living room (set to ESPN) AND lock the front door!!!! Of COURSE, not to be outdone, this afternoon MY mother just waltzes into the house and knocks on our bedroom's back door (it's a large old house and my bedroom has entrances from the front of the house and back of the house because it was actually the servant's quarters when it was built in 1906, so that's why we have two entrances to it). Well, the "jig" was almost up!!!! I left our back bedroom door unlocked and cracked open because our cat, "Snicker Delicious", was lying next to me and I wanted to make sure she could get out of the room if she needed too. Good Lord, I had to think fast....and amazibgly enough....I DID!!!! LOL!!! When mother knocked and then said, "Hey, it's me---your mother--- are you asleep? I brought you some of the best chocolate coconut macadamia nut cookies I've ever tasted!!" So, what could I do with an opening line like that? I dumped the bag of frozen peas from the towel I used to hold it against my face with, and laid it across my face, then called out, "Mother, I'm sick, I don't feel good and I don't want you or daddy to catch anything. I've got this humidifier going and taking my medication, but my eyes are really hurting, so I'm keeping it dark in here and this warm towel seems to make them feel better!!" Well THAT stopped her dead in her tracks!!! While she DID completely open the door, she never stepped foot into my bedroom and then promptly SHUT the door (all the way), saying, "I'll just leave these cookies on the counter in the butler's pantry for the boys since you have everything you need right now. I'll call you a little later in the week to check on you, but have the boys come and get me if you don't get any better. I'll take you to MY doctor!!!!" So, for now, we've dodged two bullets---both from our mothers!! LOL!!! After my mother's impromptu cookie appearance at my bedroom's back door, poor Snicker Delicious has been evicted from my bedroom. I included a picture of her too. As you can tell, she's spoiled rotten!!! Make sure to compare the photo I took of my husband this morning (4 days post surgery) with the photo he took of himself for Dr. Harley a few months ago. Hubby said to me, "Well, Dr. Harley SAID I would see significant results in my jawline, and he wasn't kidding---the man DELIVERED on what he said he would! Baby, I look goooooooood!!!" :) I'll post more photos of myself as the swelling goes down or new developments occur. Oh shoot, I almost forgot, the pillow systems we bought, are AWESOME and we highly suggest this particular pillow system to anyone who needs to recover from surgery, whether it's a facelift or back surgery. This pillow system did everything we needed it to do, and more! We LOVE it!!!

Since RomeoLola asked about my experience during the actual surgery, I thought I’d answer her questions to set her mind at ease (and maybe a few others’ minds too) in this update. Plus, include answers to other questions from others as well. From what I can piece together from my “crew” and actually remember myself about the surgery (before, during and after), here’s how it all went down, what I felt, and other helpful tidbits….

Since my husband & I were scheduled for back-to-back surgery days, and Dr. Harley was much better after being ill, we BOTH saw Dr. H around 10:30-ish the morning of MY surgery (3/17/16) for our pre-ops. BTW...Dr. Harley was never admitted to the hospital, nor did he go to the ER. He told me himself that he went to an Urgent Care and got medication & rest. He looked wonderful, and really only coughed when he laughed or chuckled. The man must have a great immune system to bounce back as quickly as he did!!! Anyway, back to the issue at hand, my/our experiences....

After Dr. H went over everything with us, and answered questions for my husband & also showed K pictures of a few men who’d also had the procedures he was having, we were given prescriptions for all of our medications to fill before surgery. Upon leaving his office, we dropped them off at a CVS a couple of blocks away, went back to our rented chalet for a few things, picked up our meds from CVS, and were back at Dr. H's sometime before 1 pm.

Once there, I ingested the pills in the tiny plastic medicine cup handed to me, gave my husband a smooch & off he went to do whatever he needed to do before the doctor was done “refurbishing” my face. Dr. Harley, his awesome nurse Kellie, and I went into his "operating" room where I sat down in the patient’s chair and he sat on his stool and proceeded to draw an "instructional map" on my face and neck and we chatted, well, “I” chatted!!! LOL!!! Of course I was nervous and talking ninety to nothing about anything and everything (trying not to move my jaw of course) while he drew away --- I'm sure the poor man felt more like a workhouse hostage than a doctor at that point!!

After my facial art was done, he injected a series of what I believe to be some sort of numbing serum into my face at various locations. I'm not gonna lie, it hurt like "H-E-Double Hockey Sticks!!!" Now THOSE SHOTS did what the pills had thus far failed to do----THEY SHUT ME UP!!! I don’t think I said another WORD after the first shot!!! The pain was like what you experience at the dentist’s office, if that gives you any indication of what you’re likely to experience. If you do well with shots at the dentist, then this will be no big deal for you. If you are like me and DON’T do well with them (meaning your nerve endings are pretty sensitive to pain), then you simply concentrate on breathing through the pain and riding out the next 45 – 60 seconds of your life----which is also not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things!! Kellie sat next to me the entire time and offered moral support by putting one of her hands over mine and rubbing that same arm with her other hand. She was very comforting, and I appreciated it!

At some point during the shots & arm rubbing, I nodded off, and all I remember during my “time in the chair” is feeling a little bit of pressure on my face once or twice (no pain at all), but mainly, I just slept. Therefore, I did not hurt during surgery, nor did I wake up during the surgery. In fact, I have never been in pain at all since those pesky, but necessary shots!

Honestly, I cannot remember HOW I got to the escalade after the procedure was through. Plus, I don’t know if K picked me up, or if he brought along R (our housekeeper) to help, or what!?!? For all I know, those two could have laid me down in the middle of a big ol’ sheet, pulled the corners together, and dragged me like a sack of dirty laundry out to the vehicle. However, I was lucid enough to realize I WAS in the vehicle and that someone had to have taken "after" pictures of me with the bandages on my head, because those pictures ARE on my cellphone, and it looks like I AM in the front seat of our SUV lookin’ like some sort of Jacob Marley Christmas Carol character understudy.

At any rate, I slept a lot the 2 days, and don't recall eating anything other than being force fed a few bites of pineapple smoothie “stuff” and being woken up to down more pills. Come to find out, R & her husband (God love 'em both) had listened to my HUSBAND (who is NOT a medical doctor, mind you) and gave me 2 pain pills every 4 hours per HUBBY’s instructions, which were NOT Dr. H’s instructions on the bottle, but we’ll get to that later. While that's the most SOUND two days of sleep I've ever had, I'm just glad I’m STILL alive to tell the tale!!!

I’m told that after I got back to our rented chalet, I kept telling R and her husband over and over, “Don’t let K see me! He can’t SEE me like this!!” What was going through my mind, but I didn’t HAVE the ability to articulate in my “drugged up state” at the time, was that I did not want my husband to see me because I was worried he’d be too afraid to go through with his surgery the next day, and I did not want to scare him with my “look”! Had I known they were overdosing me, I would’ve said something along the lines of, “Go fetch a priest to administer ‘last rites’, and may God have mercy on your souls for listening to my well-meaning, but idiotic husband instead of READING the freakin’ medical instructions people!”

The next day, when they loaded me into the SUV to go back to Dr. Harley’s and get my head gear off, all I remember is sitting in the back passenger’s seat and facing out of the opened car door telling R and her husband not to buckle me up and to move back because I had to barf and did not want to throw up on her cute sandals. At first, I think they thought I was kidding. However, they finally realized I was about to blow like “Old Faithful” and ran for cover so I could 'get on with it'. Again, and I don't mean this is a unkind way, but had I known they could have potentially ended my existence with the amount of pain medication they were giving me, I would’ve soaked them from head to toe in puke!!!!

Honestly, barfing like I did is NOT normal for me. It HAD to have been due to being given tons of unneeded pain medication and thae fact that I hadn’t eaten much of anything. FYI…my husband, the non-face sweller, did not HAVE this experience AT ALL since he was given the correct dosages --- only AFTER Dr. Harley, noticing how strangely incoherent & spaced out I was, EXPLAINED to them that they were supposed to give me pain medication ONLY if I asked for it---and NOT the maximum amount every few hours until either the bottle was empty or I was DEAD!!! Well, maybe he didn't say it JUST like THAT, but you get the gist....my inner circle let me down...as in almost "6 feet under" down!!!

Understandably, I don’t remember much of anything from the point of me getting sick on the way to get my head gear off to actually getting back to the chalet. However, I do recall that once the head wrap came off, I felt relieved!

After my VERY contrite inner circle of drug pushers STOPPED the madness, I was finally able to eat mashed potatoes and a few days later on the way home, I even had a broken up Hardee’s biscuit covered in sausage gravy to soften it up a bit....which I think kick-started my facial swelling!!!

I’m now controlling my OWN drugs and feeling no pain, but I’m finding the swelling to be a HUGE challenge for me and I’ve had to change my eating and icing habits. Since I REALLY dislike being left in my husband’s “healing dust”, I’ve been icing my face about 4 times a day with frozen bags of peas and using the Thera-Pearl face mask (AKA frozen face mask) about 3 times a day for 20 minutes at a time. Now, I KNOW the mask makes me look like I’m some sort of potential bride material for Jason from the Friday the 13th movies, but it really sucks when your face is almost the exact size of Charlie Brown’s as he’s being flown past the grand stand at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, so I’ll keep on wearing that creepy little axe murderer mask!! LOL!!! Plus, it’ll be a little “pay back” for my husband for instructing R and her husband to unknowingly almost DO AWAY WITH ME last week!!!! I’m wearing it to bed tomorrow night when he comes home!!! LOL!!!!

I’ve found that icing down my face more frequently and cutting out salt are atarting to bring the swelling down. I am drinking as much water as I can stand and eating Sugar-Free Jello doused with light Reddi Wip, Simply Jif peanut butter and natural Smucker’s grape jelly sandwiches, and grilled egg and cheese sandwiches. Also, yogurt, blueberries and pineapple. I use just a little bit of cheese to flavor the egg & cheese grilled sandwich and a light smearing of mayo, plus a pat of unsalted butter to brown it off with. Since I’ve never had to watch my sodium intake, and mainly eat what I feel like eating, and just watch portion sizes; having to eat as low sodium as possible is torture for me!!! Portion control has always worked for me, throwing that mentality out of the window and begin to THINK in terms of food composition is a struggle. I’m scared to eat anything other than the few items I listed, because I don’t want my face to inflate to inhuman proportions if I unknowingly eat the wrong thing.

Today marks one week since my surgery and it's also the first day that I feel like I'm seeing “myself”, or some semblance of the face I am accustomed to seeing, and this makes me happy and relieved. Honestly, I’ll be devastated if I wind up looking like someone else other than myself (a few years younger and/or rested). I think my husband was thinking the same thing. I texted him today with the picture of me with my hair down (pictured above) to see what he’d say. He texted back with, ‘I see the swelling is going down and you still look like MY ******!’ It’s a play on my given name that only HE calls me, and which lets me and everyone else know how special I am to him and how he wouldn’t give me up for the world --- even after all these years. As aggravating as that man is, he definitely KNOWS how to put my fears to rest with two simple words that carry more meaning for me than the phrase ‘I love You’ does.

Anyway, my husband is looking GREAT and doing well, and QUITE pleased with himself and his results!! However, because he is such a “Manly Man”, he doesn’t want anyone to know he had face work done. Since he’s on the road all the time, no one should really suspect a thing. However, his mother can’t keep a secret to save her life! So, THAT is at the crux of why we are being so secretive with BOTH of our families. If it were just me having this surgery, then it would not be an issue. I’m a former beauty queen, and in my neck of the woods, the discovery that I've had plastic surgery would not be given much thought. However, for HIM to have it, well, it would be the “talk of the town” and his mother would exacerbate it by blabbing it to any warm body close by—and he deserves better than that!!!! While I have posted a few pictures of him, I will probably remove them in about a month to 6 weeks. Also, I may remove my full photos and only show the bottom portion, but I would certainly share full photos via Real Self e-mail. It just depends on how things evilve outside of the RS community. Hopefully, I can leave all the photos up as that has been my intention from the start.

Maybe some of what I’ve rambled on about will be of help to others, as will these latest photos. The procedure with Dr. Harley was a wonderful experience and no one should have any fears about following through with it and using him as your surgeon. Watch out for the swelling. I like the Thera-Pearl products for the facial swelling. As well as, the frozen bagged peas. I also recommend looking into a pillow system. It sure has helped me stay upright at night. And…I think the fresh pineapple & pineapple juice and blueberries has helped keep our bruising to a minimum. So, all in all, I really have no reason to complain about the healing process, such as it is. It could always be worse, and I’m grateful that my husband is progressing so beautifully too....even if he DID have a hand in me potentially being killed!! PLUS, the generous ladies on the RS community have been a blessing to me and I'll continue to be a link in this chain of support for others. What a gift this community has been and continues to be!!!! I'll probably post again when my stitches come out on Sunday night. My brother is a retired nurse and he's coming over Easter night and taking them out for us! I just LOVE my big brother...he's waaaaaay too good to me and I'm thankful that he is!!!

My brother, who is a retired nurse, took out our stitches on Sunday afternoon. WOW!! I could immediately feel some of the swelling begin to subside. It felt wonderful! My husband, K, also told me that same afteroon that our Largest client & his wife would be traveling through our town on Wednesday (3 days later) and that we needed to entertain them with dinner at the plantation. So, after I got over the inital SHOCK that I was expected to appear in front of people who did not NEED to realize I'd just had "work" done on my face, I immediately started icing down my face like a crazy person --- driven solely by DESPERATION, mind you --- and desperation CAN push a person over the cliff of sanity right into the abyss of CRAZY!!!

PLUS, I needed to actually SEE what my face and hair would "potentially" look like before I showed up...for dinner...with clients...only days after getting my stitches out!!!!! (Insert Jim Carey "The Riddler" type of laughter here) Therefore, tonight I washed my hair, put on scaraway, then make up and held my breath!!! Well, I was able to hide the side scars with my hair, and the chin scar is pretty much undetectable. The eye scars were a little more tricky. I am still a little bruised on the sides of my eyes, but was able to slather on concealer and add just a little brown eye shadow, which I pulled across to the eye scars, making them rather undetectable.It's amazing the thingsyou can figure out when push comes to shove!! LOL!!!

The biggest concern for me is still the swelling. While I am still swollen, especially through my cheeks, eyes, and lower forehead/sides of temples, I was HAPPY with the results thus far!!! Oh my word....I saw the "ME" from several years ago!!! YAY!!!! Dr. Harley did what he said he would!!! My eyes are returning to their normal shape, which has been a major concern of mine---I DID have my doubts there for a while! Since it's night time here, I did the best I could to take a photo with no shadows. In fact, I was looking down for the photo. I remembered that I had taken a photo of myself looking down a few weeksbefore our surgery, so I pulled it up and compared the two photos. WOW!! I was shocked at how much better I look at 12 days post-surgery, than I did 2 weeks BEFORE having had surgery---even swollen!! LOL!! I'll try and take a few photos in the daytime soon. But this comparison is as much as I can offer for right now. Anyone choosing Dr. Harley as their ps cannot go wrong. I am SOOOOOOOO glad I had the Biltmore Lift and upper bleph done---even if y face DID swell up to the size of a basketball!!! LOL!! I have no regrets, and if I can pull off this dinner appearance tomorow night, I wil be ecstatic!! Chef will cook, so all I will have to worry about is keeping my swelling under control. If I can swing it, I'm going to get my hair trimmed and shaped up. It's a little too long to do what I want it to do, and it winds up looking a bit too 90's. We'll see.... :)

Here are a few more photos I took a few hours ago from different angles to see if I could swing the dinner party appearance. You can see that I am more swollen in some photos, than in others. I started out with a thinner face and as the photos progress, you can tell I begin to swell. These photos were taken within a span of 45 minutes to an hour, to give you an idea of how quickly my face can swell.

A few of you have asked about my husband’s experience and after finding out how everything went for him, I thought I’d let you know what HE experienced. Keep in mind, Dr. Harley timed everything on my husband’s surgery date (one day after mine) to where he performed K’s procedures, and while Kelly was getting K ready to leave (after his surgery), Dr. Harley was in another room taking off my head gear. That way, our schedules overlapped and R (housekeeper), D (her husband) and C (our 17 yr old son) were not running themselves ragged trying to get each of us to and from Dr. Harley’s office all day long. He scheduled our appointments for time-efficiency, which was considerate and very much appreciated.

BTW…I’ve since learned WHY my “inner circle” drugged me up so much. Apparently, my ear was hurting and I cried about it...a LOT…with tears and ALL!!! They said I did not “squall and carry on”, which means I kept at least ONE shred of dignity. Looks like my brand of crying is the soft kind with tears streaming. I was surprised nobody told me about this because I CERTAINLY don’t remember ANYTHING!!! I mean…you’d THINK they would have, but then again you would THINK they would have also called the doctor instead of drugging me up into oblivion!!! If something like this happens to you, please have someone call the doctor, if you have the presence of mind, that is! The next day, when R and her husband, along with my son took me back to Dr. H’s right after K’s surgery, when he asked me a questions, all I could utter were the oh so intelligent phrases of “Huh?” and “Uh-Huh!” Honestly, I don’t even remember being there, that’s how drugged up I was!!!

Back to my husband…when he and I talked about what we each remembered happening before and during our surgeries (I have & continue to keep you up on the ‘after’ part in other updates), I realized he had a different experience and paid better attention to what was happening than I did. Whereas, I took a cocktail of pills before the surgery and did not nod off until a few minutes after Dr. H started injecting me with the numbing serum; my husband did not fall asleep after taking the cocktail. In fact, he and Dr. Harley chatted for a while, then Dr. H, noticing K was not even close to dropping off to sleep, administered 75% more medication to K. I think K fell asleep sometime after Dr. Harley finished with the numbing shots. One thing K observed was how SMART Dr. Harley was with the placement of those shots. He noted that the first one was painful and the second one was painful, as well. However, once the doctor placed those, he then injected the other shots close to a numbed location where he’d just administered a shot. This technique minimized the pain, and allowed the patient to get all numbed up for their procedures---which leads to a better experience for the patient—very SMART! At any rate this is what K felt was happening.

As far as pain medications go, I think K is NOT like Dr. Harley’s “normal” patients, meaning he must have an unusually high tolerance for these types of drugs. You’d think after he had downed 75% more medication than I did, that he would’ve slept through the procedures---and then some! WRONG!! Not MY man! LOL!!! He’s NEVER been predictable a single day of his life and wasn’t about to turn over a new leaf at Dr. Harley’s office.

K woke up as Dr. H was finishing up the Biltmore Lift and was about to start on the upper and lower bleph procedures. Now, if this happens to you, DON’T be afraid!!! K just kept his eyes closed and since he was numb all over, he never felt a thing!!!! In fact, he might have dozed a little off and on. However, Dr. Harley was aware K was awake and in no pain. It sounds scary, but K said it was not scary at all. From reading other patient’s experiences, they fell asleep BEFORE they even received the first numbing shot, so K’s experience is NOT common and the odds of it happening to you are pretty low. However, if it does, Dr. Harley is no dummy and can tell if you are awake and will act accordingly. Remember, while this may be YOUR first experience with the Biltmore Lift, it ain’t Dr. Harley’s first rodeo!! This is his specialty, so trust him to do the job he’s been trained to do and which he has many years of experience in performing.

Beyond that, it looks like everything else was just like my experience, except in the healing process. K has had very little swelling, and I’ve swelled enough for both of us! He’s also healed faster too. My only consolation is that I may end up looking younger than he will!! LOL!! So, there may be some justice for me after all. Hmmmm… or in my case…HUH? or UH-Huh!! LOL!!

A few things to note… Be sure to take all of your antibiotics until they are ALL gone. You DON’T want an infection. K stopped taking his after 2 days, but started back when my brother (retired nurse) mentioned he did not want his ear to get an infection after he took the sutures out and asked if he was prescribed an antibiotic to go along with the antibiotic ointment. Apparently K had a few raw places on the backs of his ears which my brother did not want to get infected. That is all it took…K started taking them all.

I’ve mentioned the pillow system we bought. These were great for the first week or so. However, while I can still use mine in our bed, K found that he could not sleep very well on them, so he’s found that a recliner works better for him, which many people do! So you may want to give that some consideration.

Also, while I really like the Thera-Pearl face mask and the smaller eye mask, they can get a little too cold, so if you are thinking of using them, be sure to have a thin cloth you can put in between you and your skin or you’ll get something akin to a brain freeze!! We alternate between the frozen peas and the masks. The peas are good for specific areas, and the eye mask is too. However, the full face mask is good when you want to ice your entire face fast! Because it Velcro straps around your head, the swelling is pushed to the outside of your face, then you can take the frozen peas and ice down those 2 areas.

As I think of something new, or re-think an item we used, I’ll update about our experiences with them. Hopefully, K’s surgical experience can be helpful to someone. We are very pleased with the results from our procedures and the care we received from Dr. Harley and his staff. Dr. Harley is an incredible surgeon and person, so we have nothing but good things to say!! If we can help ease the path of someone else, and put any fears or anxiety to rest about having these same procedures, we are glad to do it.

Oh my goodness!! I can't believe it's already been 3 weeks since my husband K and I had our surgeries with Dr. Harley. In some ways it feels like 3 months, and in others, it feels like it was just last week! With this update, I will try to provide answers to some of the questions you’ve asked, or photos you wanted to see.

Several of you have asked about update photos on K, and I'll try to snap a few of him over the weekend and post them. However, I don’t know how helpful they will be. You see, the biggest problem is that he’s grown his hair out longer and is sporting a close beard that has a good amount of gray in it, which makes him look older. Although the beard hides the scars, it also hides Dr. Harley’s handiwork too. Therefore, until he feels confident that his scars won't be very evident, he's keeping his scraggly look!

As for me, I’m STILL battling the swelling, but it’s lessening each day. Plus, I think I’m finally getting a handle on the dry eye issue with the Systane and GenTeal eye drops--thanks jmaryh! I included a few photos of me right after I got out of the shower and with no makeup on. As you can see, some of the scars are barely noticeable, while others are red and taking more time to heal. All in all, I think they look worse than they really are in these photos because I’d just stepped out of the shower when I took them, and my scars were a little irritated at the time. I’ll try and choose a better time to take pictures when I update my progress photos next week. Mainly, I’ve been using Mepitac silicone tape (Amazon purchase) on my scars, and only using the Scaraway gel on places like the scars behind my ears and those on either side of my temple. Because those scars are almost into my hairline, it’s difficult for the tape to stay in place, so the gel works better in those areas.

I also included a comparison photo of me at 3-weeks post-op and a photo taken just a few hours before my surgery. I tried to make it an “apples to apples” comparison, so I have no makeup on in either of them. This is one of the worst photos of me, and I can't believe I'm sharing such an unflattering photo with you, but I SURE AM!! LOL!! I took the photo of me in the blue track suit while I was waiting in the SUV for K to drop off our meds to be filled. GOOD LAWD!!! I KNEW I was tired the morning of the surgery, but MAN, did I EVER look OLD, BLOATED, and TIRED!!! My skin looks terrible, and even my hair looks exhausted, and my hair is usually the ONE thing I can depend on to "help me out"!!! I look so different than I am used to seeing myself, if that makes any kind of sense, that I don’t even recognize myself in that particular photo.

Thank goodness for Dr. Harley and his skills!!! I’m very happy with my neck and how Dr. Harley restored my face to the shape it was when I was younger. Of course I still have swelling that tends to make my checks and eyes look out of proportion, depending on where the swelling appears at any given moment. But, even with the swelling, you can see the positive changes the Biltmore Lift and upper bleph have already made to my entire face. You know, I honestly did not realize how much I REALLY missed the face I'd seen in the mirror for most of my adult life, until I started seeing it again after the surgery. Over the last few years, it simply slipped away from me without me being aware of it. The comparison photos make that abundantly clear to me. With Dr. Harley's help, I'm incredibly grateful that whenever catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror, I see a familiar face from the past that makes me say, "Welcome back my friend, its good to see you again!!" :)

Will miracles never cease to amaze, people?!?! LOL!! You know, as worried as K & I have been about our hillbilly clan finding out about our surgeries, we have been around a few of them and no one has mentioned ANYTHING, which means they have not figured it out yet!!! Can I get a big “Whoop Whoop?!?!?” LOL!! However, it’s not like we’ve really been out and about for many of them to get a good look at us either. I’ve been able to use a “bad case of seasonal allergies” as my cover story for why I have been unavailable to them, and my hair as camouflage. K has used his beard and hair, and a bogus “sinus surgery” story to hide his “evidence”. Nevertheless, our mothers, because they ARE our mothers, STILL present specific challenges to us.

After being confined to my bedroom, I could not STAND to stay upstairs any longer than I already had (almost 2 weeks), so I have been hanging out downstairs. Well, my mother “popped in” on us this past Saturday. Thank goodness I kept the humidifier cranked up and next to me, and was able to pull my hair around my face (kinda’ like Ali Sheedy in ‘The Breakfast Club’ BEFORE Molly Ringwald spiffed her up) and I held a wadded up tissue over my nose. Those 3 things combined gave the appearance of “I’m sick and you don’t want none of this!” Therefore, she stayed on the OTHER side of the room from me, and never got a good look at my face.

However, K was not so lucky!! He was laid back in the recliner closer to where she entered the room, so she naturally went right on over to him and proceeded to have a conversation--- mainly with herself, as we were trying to not be rude, and at the same time, NOT draw attention to our faces. Therefore, we simply responded with comments like, “Well I’ll Be!” or, “Is that right!?!?!”, and of course, the obligatory, “Now that’s just awful, poor thing!!” phrase. To add a little variety, we also made sympathetic sounds like, “mmm…”, and “uh, uh, uh!” I think she was so busy catching us up on every ache & pain she and daddy have had over the few days, as well as, the aches & pains of her neighbors and Sunday school class members in that same time frame, that she didn’t notice ANYTHING was different about us!!! LOL!!! We just let her talk. because the more she talked, the less she focused on us!!

Bless her sweet little heart, mother got so caught up in all those “conditions” plaguing her neighbors and the church flock, that before long, she said, “Well, let me go, because your daddy is going to wonder where I have gotten off to and start to worry’n about me!!” AND…off she went, none the wiser!! Since my mother can be easily distracted, her curiosity can be contained. She is an amateur compared to K’s mother, who FINALLY broke us!!!!

For weeks, the woman has tried to find out what’s going on with us by pestering our sons and the employees at our office, quizzing us on the phone, and via text messages, so much so, that she’d worked herself into a TIZZY, and I KNEW it was just a matter of time until it came to a head…and it DID…2 days before Easter!!!

The week leading up to Easter, she’d been texting us about our plans for the upcoming Easter weekend, to which I said, “It depends on how well I feel, and what state K happens to be in on Friday.”
However, the Friday before Easter, she texted me asking what we were going to do for Easter LUNCH, and then she offered to COOK EVERYTHING and bring it over to us if I was not feeling well. She then said that if we only wanted to spend it with our boys, then she’d just eat out at a restaurant by herself. It was at THAT point that I turned to K and said, “This is pitiful!!! It’s EASTER and I am NOT going to have your MOTHER sitting in a restaurant eating BY HERSELF because you are afraid she will SQUEAL on you to the REST OF THE FREE WORLD! So, we have GOT to tell her and MAKE her swear not to tell ANYONE!! Because, if something were to happen to her before NEXT Easter, and THIS was your last Easter with your mother, then you would NEVER forgive yourself for letting her spend it eating alone in a restaurant---instead of being with family!! So SUCK IT UP BIG BOY, and let’s ask her to come over here RIGHT NOW and tell her the TRUTH, then have her SWEAR before us and GOD that she WON’T BREATHE A WORD of it to anyone!!” AND…that’s what we did!!! Boy, was my brother ever surprised to see her at our house when he came to take out our stitches!! LOL!! I filled him in on everything with her when he and I were alone in the kitchen.

So, to date, my parents are STILL clueless about our surgeries, and we were forced by circumstances to tell K’s mother, and of course, my brother, the retired nurse who removed our stitches. Still. I think we got the biggest monkey off of our backs…now, let’s hope it does not sing like a canary!!!

A few of you have requested "before & after" comparison photos featuring me wearing makeup, so here it is y’all!! While i am excited about the difference, I'm also happy to "show off" the results from the $500 tooth whitening process gift certificate that was included in a gift bag I won last November! I was skeptical about it at first, and waited until closer to my appointment with Dr. Harley to use it. Honestly, I was thinking about how many boxes of Crest Strips I could buy with $500 (with coupons, I could probably get a lifetime supply) if it was a cash instead of a gift certificate --- but DANG---it's the best $500 I've NEVER spent!!! LOL!! I do believe my 49 yr old teeth are so white right now that Santa Claus could probably ditch Rudolph and just have me saddle up on one of those generic flying reindeer’s whenever there’s a foggy Christmas Eve, and SMILE!! LOL!! Well, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit, but you get the gist!! My friend Kelly O's husband is actually one of the best cosmetic dentists in the country, and the ONLY cosmetic dentist in the world to have his work on the AACD Journal's cover 7 times. I'm going to have him check out Real Self. In my opinion, he’s the “Dr. Harley” of teeth --- gifted & humble man with jaw-dropping results. Since I wouldn't be a candidate for cosmetic dental surgery, I was shocked when I won the gift bag! Shoot, I've never even had braces, so I figured a potential client would win, but lo' and behold --- I WON!! Because it was a “use it yourself or lose it” kind of deal, I gave it a whirl. I'm glad I did!!! Wow, I really did not think whiter teeth would be that big of a deal to me, but I was wrong!! While I don’t ever want my teeth to be freakishly white, I doubt I’ll go back to the muted shade of white they were before. Anyway, back to the subject at hand---my face! Even though I still have swelling that comes and goes, I am pleased with my facial shape, eyes, and neck thus far. In the “before” photo my lids are "fleshy", and I am tilting my ead, which hides a lot!! In the past, whenever I wanted to take a decent picture, I would tilt my head and/or stretch my neck to try to create a better jawline. However, in the “25 days after” photo. I am looking straight ahead (no tilting), I have a “normal” neck, my eyes are more open too, and my jawline is really nice. Dr. Harley did what I was hoping for --- he rolled back a few years for me, without making me look like someone totally different. To the “untrained” eye, there are no drastic changes to my appearance, but I definitely look better. BTW…K did not come home this weekend. He will be home this coming weekend for sure and I will snap some photos of him then. Our two youngest sons are going to the prom. While it’s the middle sons’ school, our youngest son (the cadet) was invited by a pretty little girl who is sweet on him. Therefore, K is definitely going to be home to see our boys and their dates off for prom. I hope these 2 photos I shared are helpful and give you an idea of what Dr. Harley can achieve with his high level of skill.

Here are a couple of front and side view photos showing my 4 wks post-surgery progress. I totally forgot to take photos of my scars, so don't shoot me! I'll try and remember to do that in next week's update. While I am confessing, I might as well admit that I also forgot to take all of the photos in the same location, so I wound up taking the front photo shot in a different room about 10 minutes later, which is why I look much paler.
Thank goodness the swelling is going down. It has truly been a struggle to keep the swelling at bay. Anyone who does not know me would probably look at this week’s photos and think I don't have any swelling at all at this point, but those who do know me would immediately spot it. With each day, I experience less swelling, so I think I might be facially “fluid free” in about 7 – 10 days. Most people don’t swell up to the degree that I do, so those of you who are waiting to have this surgery, don’t be alarmed. You probably won’t experience my kind of swelling, and if by chance you do, I’m living proof that it won’t affect your outcome.

With this being my 4th week post op, I decided to finally get my hair cut, colored, and low-lighted. As many of you know, I've had the same hairdresser doing my hair since I was 17 yrs old, so I've been in a hair "relationship" with him longer than I have even been married to my husband. That being the case, other than my parents, brother, husband, and children, Tim (my hairdresser) probably knows my face better than anyone on this planet.

When I walked into his salon today---which he made SURE was empty with no other clients or stylists present while I was there---the man could NOT stop looking at me in the mirror and saying over and over how it was as if someone had reached back into the past by 20 years and replaced the current me with the “me” from 20 years ago!!! He then said, “I hate to tell you, but even though you look totally natural and not pulled at all, people are definitely going to know you had something done!” Now THAT had me worried!! I immediately thought, “Oh Lord, I look weird or not even remotely like myself to other people and that’s what Tim is about to point out”.

Instead, when I asked him why he thought that, he replied with, “Because your doctor did TOO good of a job! You have always looked younger than you are, and you can probably explain away being 50 years old, but looking 35 years old. But GIRRRRRL, you look like you are 27 or 28 years old, and there is NO WAY you are going to be able to explain away lookin’ 23 years younger than you actually are!!! There is no amount of sleep, or eating organic food, or exercise that is going to turn back the clock to as young as you look!! But, HONEY, lookin’ too young for your age is a problem most everyone would like to have, so STRUT IT OUT BABY!!!” LOL!!!

After I’d left his salon, Tim called me about 30 minutes later to tell me AGAIN how good I looked and what a great job Dr. Harley had done. Also, to remind me that everyone in our town KNOWS he does my hair, and that they would be quizzing him about why I looked so good, but he would not squeal on me... or K!! I let him know that I would eventually let people know I’d had a little work done and the surgeon’s name, number, and website. Until then, he had better play dumb and not spill the beans.

I am still having some swelling on the inner portion of my left eye, so I called Dr. Harley’s office and also sent in pictures of the eye with an explanation of what I was experiencing. After looking at the photos, Dr. Harley called me and let me know what could be causing the problem and easy things I can do to correct it. He also assured me that if it did not resolve itself, then he would make it right. While I feel sure that the eye swelling will be resolved within 2 weeks by a simple massage, it’s very reassuring to know that if it doesn’t, then I have a surgeon who stands behind his work and will correct the issue himself. BTW…I think my problem stems from how my body is healing itself in that particular area, so hopefully massaging the area corrects it. I’ll keep you posted. Also, as soon as K comes home this weekend, I'll get an update and photos posted (if he ket's me).

Here are the photos of my husband (K), that I promised to try and get for you.. Although I tried to warn him that it was too bright outside, HE wanted to do them outside anyway!!! Ugh!!! He's squinting and the detail is not what I want it to be. I tried to darken the "after" photos and match them up to his "before" photos, so this is the best I could manage. I did not have time to re-take them, so I went with the darkest ones. After he saw them, he agrees that the next set of photos should be taken inside!! I'll probably do another set of update photos in 2-4 wks on him. Anyway, you can tell a great improvement---especially in K's lower face and neck region.

It has been totally hectic around my house these past few weeks, and won't slow down until June. We had the prom the weekend before last, and this weekend we'll load up 5 teenagers and drive to Alabama for our youngest sons' school military weekend and ball. So, at some point during the weekend, we'll have 6 teenagers to oversee in the hotel rooms we've booked. Thank goodness, the youngest son's girlfriend will take my place as his escort under the saber arch. That way, I can take photos, sit back, and relax for the evening. After that, we have Mother's day, my 50th birthday party bash, two high school graduations (our middle son & youngest son), and Memorial day weekend festivities to get through "undetected", so to speak. LOL!! Our official 3 month check-up with Dr. Harley is scheduled for May 31st.

That being said, any future posts from me in the next 6 weeks or so will be sporadic at best. I've been trying to catch up with everyone's progress, and have enjoyed reading about the recent facelift, neck lift, and eye lift surgeries many you have had. It always exciting to read about others' experiences before, during, and after their procedures. There are some AWESOME women (and men) in the RS community!!! What a blessing and a gift to be part of such a great support system!!!

I had a few requests for a comparison photo of my eyes, so I put together a composite containing a photo from a few weeks before my surgery, and a photo I snapped 2 weeks ago(one month post-surgery)+. I'll try and get a fe w more recent photos together asap. Also, I'll try and get some close ups of my husband's scars and eyes too. He's just not home very often, and when he was home for the prom, we were so busy running around picking up tuxedos, shoes, flowers and the makings of the kid's formal prom dinner (I cooked it, and K & I served it), then recovering from having 8 teenagers hang out and spend the night with us after prom, that taking progress was photos was the last thing on our minds! The man has not been home since!!

In the grand scheme of things, we are both progressing well. For the most part, only those who know our faces extremely well (hair dresser, and children) see a marked difference in our appearances. My parents have seen me a few times in the last couple of weeks and have no inkling I've had anything done to my face/neck. They just think I've lost a little weight and gotten more rest, which is what I'd HOPED would be their response.

As for my husband, he's had similar reactions---nobody has even guessed he's had a facelift or eye surgery!! It's like TracyAnne once stated, "People see what they expect to see." Therefore, they are not looking for signs that we've had plastic surgery. While the differences are dramatic to us, they are very subtle and almost undetectable to other folks. They just think we are aging well, which was our goal from the beginning, and also a testament to the incredible judgement and surgical skills of Dr. Harley. Honestly, we become more pleased with our respective results with each passing day. It's been one of the best decisions we've ever made for ourselves, and we have no regrets about having the procedures and our chosen surgeon. We feel very blessed. :)

Gosh, it feels like 5 MONTHS since I have been on RS, instead of 5 weeks, but I''m finally BACK!! Yippie!!! It’s been incredibly busy for our family since the middle of April, with the month of May being jam packed with birthdays & the parties that they bring (my 50th, my mother-in-law's, and our middle son's), Mother's Day, our two youngest sons' high school graduations happening in 2 different states within 24 hours of each other (and the co-responding after-graduation meals & parties), the Military Ball, 2 proms, and a 3 month check up with Dr. Harley (May 31st). Every time I turned around, I was either booking hotels for one of three different states we were in during May, or on the highway in route to one of them (or coming back home from one of them getting ready for another trip or event)! Needless to say, I’m starting the month of June worn slap out and I really missed checking in on everyone here at RS. All of the fast food, cakes, ice cream products, pizza, potato chips, wine, and middle of the night Huddle House food runs (from whichever hotel we were in) left me 6 pounds heavier!! May was one big ol’ on the road food-fest!! You know, I could never make it as a truck driver---I’d end up weighing as much as a “big rig” after the first 6 months on the road!!! LOL!! Honestly, I’m just glad June is here so that life can get back to being somewhat normal. K’s sister and her family from Michigan will be visiting us for about 10 days starting June 20th. It will be interesting to see if they can tell we’ve had any work done. I will post about the 3-month check-up trip to Dr. Harleys in the next day or two. I’m still tired since I spent about 14 hours driving within a 30-hour span of time. But for now, I wanted to answer some questions and requests from some of you guys. Here goes…. 1) PROCEDURES I HAD ON MARCH 17, 2016: Biltmore Lift (neck lift & lower face lift combo); Upper Eye Bleph. Dr. Harley mentioned filler for my nasolabial folds, but I was afraid I would look weird and too “done”. PROCEDURES I HAD ON MAY 31, 2016: However, when I went for my check-up on Tuesday, I went ahead and had Dr. Harley do some filler in my nasolabial folds and also a small amount of Botox in between my eyes. In retrospect, I wish I would have done it back in March. He was right---the Juvederm does soften my lines in a natural way. 2) Since I have a small bruise and a little bit of swelling in those folds right now, I will wait until next Thursday to post update photos of me with the Juvederm and Botox. Our housekeeper (R) is on vacation, and she will take the requested photos of me as I appeared in the “before” photos I sent to Dr. Harley when she gets back. So, those will be coming next week. 3) Lastly, I have posted a few updated photos of my scars. I did not include the eyes since they are barely noticeable, and I am tired. The pictures speak for themselves and my scars are healing nicely. Basic concealer is all that I use on them underneath my everyday make-up & sunscreen, and the chin scar is undetectable where it is placed regardless of make-up. BTW…I don’t have on make-up in the “scar” photos I posted in this update. 4) THINGS I WOULD DO DIFFERENTLY: Hmmm…maybe only purchase ONE of the TheraPearl full masks, instead of two. It came in handy the first 6 weeks of swelling. I used it when I wanted a fast all-over reduction of swelling. However, I would recline when I wore it, as it was a bit heavy. But, I liked how fast it worked on my entire face. I also bought 2 eye masks, which I don’t know if I would purchase again as I am NOT someone who likes to sit or lie still with a mask over my eyes....I’m a multi-tasker, and I could not multi-task with that mask over my eyes. It aggravated me to no end!!! Plus, I would have gotten only a 5-7 day supply of Bromelain & Arnica Montana. I preferred eating blueberries and pineapple over taking pills and tablets. The horseshoe travel pillow was an awesome purchase. I STILL use it every night!! Lastly, I would have had the Juvederm done when I had the surgery in March instead of waiting until my check-up in May. I hope this information helps in some small way. For now, I am headed for bed folks! Have a good evening! :)

Oh my goodness!! It has been awhile since I posted an update. Therefore, I am playing catch up by posting my 3-month "before and after" photos. Plus, I am posting my 6-month photos---taken by my awesome hairdresser, no less!! lol!!

As you can see, my jawline was really sharp at the 3-month checkup, and it still looks sharp 6 months after the surgery. I've been using Retin-A (0.25% and 0.50%) and Vitamin C serum to even out my skin tone. Also, if you remember, Dr. Harley injected Botox in the muscle above and between my eyes during my 3-month checkup. I basically got the Botox to give the muscles between my eyes and right above them, a break--which it actually has done. So, now that it has pretty much worn off, I won't get that area injected again. The 3-month break the Botox gave that area was enough time to "re-train" the muscles to behave in a more relaxed way.

Also remember that at my 3-month checkup, Dr. Harley also injected 1 syringe of filler into my smile lines between my mouth and nose. It was enough to soften them up, which is what I wanted. It is supposed to last 9 months to 1 year, at which time, I will have them re-filled.

The last several months has been a whirlwind of activity for me and my husband K. In fact, he has yet to go back for his checkup, and hasn’t been home for almost 2 months due to business obligations. He will be home in about a week for 10 days. While I love our boys, I will be glad when the youngest son finally goes away to college so that I can spend every other week going to see my husband. The two older boys are working with him. However, Christian is just 17, and wants to be a physician's assistant, so we are having him live at home and get his core classes at the local community college, transfer to a university to get his 4 yr degree, then transfer to one of the Georgia schools which offer the PA graduate degree. That boy is REALLY social, so I don't DARE leave the house (or the cat & dog) in his care for more than one night or he'd turn it into something resembling the frat house from the movie "Animal House"!

I do have to tell you, not a lot of people have seen me out and about since my surgery. Because I do a lot of work on my computer, I have been able to dodge large groups of people that I know, and continue to heal. However, several months ago, I was contacted to be the featured speaker for a large organization in South Georgia. Since I know a lot of people in this particular organization, I could not say, “no”. So, I went ahead and agreed to do the speaking engagement, which was last week. Oh my word!!! While I had several people compliment me on the content of my speech, the overwhelming majority of people who engaged with me afterwards, said things like, “Wow, you just get better looking with time!”, “You know, you just don’t seem to age!”, “Have you lost weight?”, and two men both said, “I hope your husband knows how lucky he is to have you!” LOL!!! Of COURSE I let them know that he does, and that I am just as lucky to have K as my husband. The thing is….no one suspected a thing!!! They just thought I had been taking better care of myself and had changed my hair and makeup, which I had. I just told them I had also been using Retin-A, vitamin C serum, and staying out of the sun----all of which I AM doing!!! LOL!! Honey, my 50-year-old ego was sooooo inflated after that event, that I’m amazed the organizers didn’t have to open up another set of double doors just so my head would fit through it when I left!! I was “stylin’ and profilin” for sure!!! The compliments took me back to my pageant days. So much so, that I was tempted to throw my arm out of the car window and perform a pageant “lightbulb” wave as I drove off!! LOL!!

Seriously, something that I credit with helping me escape “plastic surgery” detection is my new straight, lighter, more natural hairstyle. Plus, I now apply less makeup to my face than I used to wear. Not that I wore a ton to begin with, but I find that the softer colors make me look somewhat younger and fresher. In fact, while I DO have a lot of hair, I was finding that with age, I was losing a lot of strands and noticed a bit of thinning. Since my mama did NOT raise a fool, I started using the men’s Walmart brand of Rogaine to regrow hair in the regions I was seeing hair loss. If you look at my left side view ‘before’ photo against my left side view ’3 months after’ photo, you’ll see the beginnings of new hair growth. I had just started using the hair regrowth serum about a month prior to that photo being taken.

Now, months after my checkup photos, my hair is a lot fuller and thicker in the areas where I used it---my hair part, the crown, and right around the front, just above my forehead and temples. I simply use the 1 oz. dropper of liquid, as instructed, on those areas at night before I go to bed. It’s twice the strength of the women’s formula, and you only have to use it once a day instead of twice a day that the women’s formula calls for. So, if you are struggling with hair loss, try the men’s liquid formula Equate brand. It’s made a positive difference for me.

Finally, for anyone thinking of having the Biltmore Lift, I encourage you to go ahead and do it. If Dr. Harley says you need fillers or Botox, I would have that done when you have the lift. He knows what he’s talking about, and has the skill to back it up. My face, neck and eyes are proof-positive of it---and so are many other peoples’ too!!