44 Years Old, Birthday Present To Me - Asheville, NC

Thought I would update now that I am a bit past the 6 month mark. I am still very happy with my results, although I do wonder if my neck is tight enough. It seems a little lax now that all the swelling has gone down. That having been said, comparing my before and afters I am still thrilled that the sagging that was really starting to destroy my self esteem is gone. I've had done botox since my surgery, no big surprise as a lower face lift isn't going to address crows feet or forehead issues! Dr Harley is good but no one is THAT good, LOL! I also had a little bit of filler around my mouth and chin and I broke down and did a little bit under my eyes as well. I knew I would still need to do fillers after surgery, Dr Harley was very clear with me that the surgery would not be a cure-all for my volume loss. That having been said, the very talented woman who does my injections told me that I needed none in my cheeks anymore, and that's exciting to me. I haven't had fillerser in my cheeks done for almost 2 years now, and the way I metabolize filler, that means I have NO filler in my cheeks now, so the lift was able to get me good and tight and make the most of the facial structure I have and that's all a girl can ask for! What's happened is that now I can use fillers here and there to add volume, as opposed to how I was using them before surgery, which was to try to lift up my face and fill up the baggy skin. Those attempts never really worked all the way, the little bit of success I had didn't last long and the whole half-a$$ed process was heart breaking, less than natural and REALLY EXPENSIVE. I urge anyone who continually is fighting nature with a "liquid facelift" and feeling frustrated to break down what they are spending every year on injectable fillers and look at the results they are getting. Then compare that to the cost of the Biltmore lift and the results of some of the women on this site who have had it done. I'd like to reiterate that I also had an upper bleph, which was almost an afterthought for me when I was in the planning stages of my surgery. Thank GOD I did it, though, as I feel it really took some major mileage off my face visually! My upper bleph with Dr Harley was $2,600...I've dropped more than that on injectable fillers in one pop. If you aren't ready or financially able to get the lift, but want to brighten and "open" up your face in an important way and take off some years, the upper bleph is a good option. Just know that, in my experience, the upper bleph was the procedure that I found it the hardest to heal from. The Biltmore lift was a snap!
Those of you who have followed my crazy journey know that I have also been doing a total mouth reconstruction in parallel to all this, and I completed my final appointment for that last week. So, new teeth, new jawline, new neck, new eyelids! New me? Well, no. Same old me. And that's OK. I find that I still struggle with some of the same insecurities. But I do so with a bit more confidence now, and a bit more optimism. The future is still uncertain and I'm still an unmarried, 44 year old recovering alcoholic facing it with some doubts and fears. The difference is that I'm doing it with a renewed sense that I have far more personal power to shape what's to come than I thought I had before this surgery. I conquered my neck flap, what can't I conquer, right? LOL! I hope everyone out there that has had their procedure is healing well and I wish everyone out there still waiting on their surgeries or contemplating what to do to take charge of their own destinies all the best luck along the way.

Well almost, but not quite,4 months have gone by since my procedure in early January. I've passed the "co-habitation with my ex" test, the "2+ weeks with my mom" test and now the "3+ weeks with my BFF and assorted other people from my past " tests. No one has detected my surgery AT ALL. My best friend came the closest, I think, when she kept squinting at me and then outright asked me if I was "doing something, like fillers?" because I was "somehow ageing in reverse"...but no one who knows me would dream that I could pull of a facelift in secret(Big Mouth! LOL!)...so I think that is the biggest key to KEEPING the secret!
I'm really very happy with my jawline...and I'm thrilled that I decided to go ahead and do the upper bleph, I think I was so focused on my neck flap that I had totally missed how much my upper eyelids were ageing my face. While the upper bleph was by far the toughest part of my recovery and while it was the most obvious sign that I'd had "work done ", I realize now that without it my results would be no where as satisfactory to me if I hadn't had the eyes done. If you're considering the upper bleph procedure in conjunction with the lower face /neck lift, consider it SERIOUSLY.
My mouth reconstruction continues, and it continues to be more painful, heart wrenching and expensive than the Biltmore Lift even began to be! I was "back in the chair" again this week after a week of dealing with an allergic reaction IN MY MOUTH to the new temporary crowns. Nasty. Everything is back on track now, though, thank goodness! I continue, everyday, to be reminded in little ways that I have a "new face and neck "...whether it be taking a selfie to send to a boyfriend or waking up in the morning and stumbling to the bathroom and catching a glimpse in the mirror...Don't get me wrong, I still see a dozen things in my reflection that I'd love to change...but I honestly still feel a sense of genuine gratitude and relief when I see the "new me. " Still. It hasn't gotten old. I'm still a little surprised to look in the mirror and mostly like the face looking back! She's no beauty queen, but that's OK! The bags and sags and flappy bits I found so shameful are gone. That was my deepest hope, that I could just get rid of them, and they're gone! I still feel like "nothing I want that bad every turns out this good "...but I'm almost to the place where I accept that it HAS, in fact, turned out like I had dreamed it might. It's still a wonderful feeling. And it's still worth every single penny I scraped together. There is absolutely nothing that I went without in that year of scrimping and saving that could have ever made me feel as good as the Biltmore Lift has. I'm very pleased, also, with how my my scars are healing. I don't use anything "extra" at all on them at this point, other than what I use on the rest of my face. Anyone who is shying away from having the Biltmore lift because they are worried about scars should know that, in my experience at least, by almost month 4 post-procedure, scars are a non-issue.
My aesthetician has offered to put filler under my eyes... she's VERY good at what she does and I've seen tons of her "afters" for under eyes. She is an artist and get results are great... I've decided, however, not to risk it. Klauderb has been a huge inspiration to me, her posts have helped me immensely, and she recently had the filler under her eyes dissolved...we have such similar facial types that I'm going to use RealSelf the way it was intended, benefit from her experience, and skip the under eye filler. I've found that I'm pretty happy with my face with just the Biltmore Lift, the upper bleph and some Botox. I say "just ", which is ironic, because that's definitely not the recipe for natural beauty...what I mean, though, is that I realize now that I'm not chasing perfection. I'm OK with some hollowness under my eyes. That is a relief to me, since right after my procedure I went through a period of time when I was positive that the top of my nose HAD TO BE refined and my lower eyes MUST be addressed...I was afraid maybe I'd never be happy. But that was just a phase and probably the result of too many selfies scrutinized during the early stages of healing! I'm in no rush to jump back into plastic surgery again any time soon. I think I'm pretty OK with the situating under my eyes for now. (But don't hold me to it! Lol!)
I'm posting some new pics and a side my side before and after, having finally figured out how to make one on my phone. Anyone who doubts I needed a facelift at 43/44 need only check out that "before & after" to see that I made the right decision!
To all of my sisters healing right now, I'm sending you white light, good energy, and the words of wisdom from Adirondackmimi's Dr: "healing is measured in months, not days "... And to all of you contemplating a procedure or waiting for your procedure date to arrive, I hope with all my heart that your decision, whatever it may be, brings you as much joy and satisfaction as mine has brought me. Be well.

Well, due to some great advice from my friend Red and a pressing family matter, I ended up taking that trip back to the Panhandle of Florida. For those of you familiar with my story, going back there meant going back to see a group of people who remember me as more sickly, quite a bit more unattractively thin and wearing a wig. I had a great deal of anxiety about going back, but after some tough talk from Red and a call from my family to help admit a brother into the same rehab facility I was in 8 years ago, back I went! It turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life, and, Red, I will forever be in your debt because you challenged me to face my fears and go so I was prepared to do just that when the call from my family came. The trip was wonderful. On one hand, I got to be there to watch my brother make a decision to get help for his addiction to alcohol and hopefully change his life, for the better, forever. On the other, also wonderful hand, I got to reconnect with some special people that matter a great deal to me. Everyone was BLOWN AWAY by how I looked, but you have to remember I was over 20 lbs skinnier, almost bald, and had jacked teeth when I was there before...it's not hard to raise that bar! No one guessed at the surgery at all, but I think that was primarily because SO MUCH about me was changed it was hard to pick out one thing. I had my real boobs back, some healthy weight on my cheeks and even on my tiny, "white-girl" butt (Lol!), real hair on my head (with the help of my awesome micro extensions!) and the crowns on my teeth (still have temporaries on my lower teeth that are killing me, bu that's another saga!lol!) Sure, my jawline is tight and there is no more neck flap and no baggy upper eyelids, but when you add that to all the OTHER stuff, the surgery stuff is hard to pinpoint! I honestly got more compliments on how my legs look (they were long, shapeless sticks before the weight gain and Olympic weight lifting ) and on my skin (I think when your whole face looks better, people just say "your skin looks great " because they aren't quite sure what, exactly, it is that looks better.) My best friend, who is smart and observant, squinted at me a lot and asked me what I had done. I told her Id been doing Botox for 4 years now (which is true ). That satisfied her...and before I left she made a Botox appointment for herself! Mostly, though, I was happy to go back to see the people that I love and care about and to let them see me, happier and healthier than I've ever been before in my adult life. They were happy for me. They are also all doing AWESOME themselves, and it was good to see that, first hand, and to know that, for the most part, we are all rising, together. They met me when my life was in a tailspin after rehab, and I wanted them to see how much their loving support meant, what they had contributed to, to the happy and hopefully person that they helped to create. Going back was a really great decision, and most days I forgot I had surgery at all. I was there for just shy of 3 weeks, though, and there were definitely a few times when I said "Thank you, Dr David Harley" under my breath... a few times when I ran into exes, and one time (some of you ladies will know what I mean ) when I was viewed at a certain angle that can make all your loose bits look saggy, unless you've had a very skilled surgeon address those loose bits, so they aren't loose anymore! We'll leave it at that, but that moment alone was worth the 9 grand! LOL! I'm posting some pics from the past 3 weeks, with a focus on the jawline and neck. I'm really pleased with my Harley Honey jawline, and I think it's done wonders for my cheekbones. I think about the things I was worried about, pre-surgery, and I know one of them was the jawline looking "unnatural"...I think Dr Harley did a really good job of keeping things natural with my jaw, and I want those of you contemplating this survey to see just how sharp BUT natural the results can be... I apologize that most of these pictures are of me just after I woke up, or as I'm laying down for a nap with the little dog. Sleeping was a horrible issue involving an air mattress that I won't get into. In a few, I posted pics of me with a spider bite on my EYELID...just because they happen to be good jaw pics and show how the eyelid scar is healing from my upper bleph.
Thank you, to Red (of course ) and to all of you who encouraged me to go on the trip and to be proud and to hold my head high. I did! My brother is now out of rehab and starting his own new, sober life. I'm so blessed to have been able to help facilitate that! I also want to apologize to some of you who I was following before I left on my trip. I found it very difficult to try to log into Real self at my friends house, my connectivity on my phone there was horrible, and it was a crazy busy time. I know many of you had surgeries and were recovering during these past 3+ weeks and i was not able to follow you and to support you as i would have liked to...i trust our awesome community was there for you the way they were for me! I'm trying to get caught up on everyone's progress now! I hope you all are being kind to yourselves and being patient with your recovery! Remember that it takes some time for your full results to emerge! In the meantime, heal well!