It seems as though my boobs have grown every year since my Junior year of high school! Their size before my reduction was a DDD/E cup. I struggled every day with self image, I have a very small waist and then very large boobs! I couldn't find anything to wear without looking completely inappropriate and I would find myself crying on a regular basis about them. My last straw was when I went dress shopping with my older sister for her wedding, we were trying on my maid of honor dress and we had to go up 4 sizes because the zipper would not zip for my boobs. I wear a size 3/4 and I had get a size 10 dress. I was so self conscious about everything. It took a lot of research just to find a swimsuit that would cover me, not to mention it was expensive. I asked my mom if she could set me up for a doctors app. with my regular doctor and my mom was very supportive about it. My doctor agreed that I needed it and sent me to a surgeon about 20 min from my house! On my sisters wedding day I was getting my hair done by the hair stylist and I had on a T-shirt, one of the bridesmaids said "Jessica put this tank top on first so you don't mess your hair up when you take your shirt off". I was uneasy but did it anyway, I looked like a complete, and there is no other way to say this, skank :( I wanted to cry, it was way to small because the girl who gave it to me was an A cup, everybody that was standing there started to carry on about how big they were. Not to mention the photographers and videographers all around. Even though I only had to wear it until changing into my (4 sizes up) dress I was still completely mortified. My breast reduction was the Wednesday after the wedding and at that exact moment I wanted to run to the hospital and say "take them off right now!"
A few short days later I found myself walking into the hospital with my incredible mother, in a buddle of excitement and nerves! My surgery was scheduled for 9 a.m. and we got there about 15-20 minutes early just incase. It was finally here, the day I have dreamed about for so long! They gave me stockings to wear so that I didn't get leg clots and so I slipped those on along with my gown. They put these plastic things around my legs that pumped air in and out to circulate blood during surgery, they they started my IV with calming medicine. I turned on the tv to wait and Americas Next Top Model was on. I was becoming so excited because all of the models on there had small boobs! I wanted to dance around right then! Within about 30 minutes my surgeon came in and started marking my chest for surgery, that's when she asked me about what size I wanted to be! Again I was itching with excitement! I laid back on the bed and another 30 or so minutes passed when the nurses came in to roll me away for surgery! They put the blue hat on my head and I started laughing at all of them for it. I had a lot of nurses and I think they enjoyed how much I laughed at things. On the way down the hall a nurse put some other medicine in my IV that made me start feeling really odd, but it was a cool feeling. I remember when we arrived into the operating room how big and crazy it looked in there. There were a lot of nurses preparing themselves everywhere. I remember saying "heyyyy everybodyyy!!!!" just like that hahaha and then they all said "hey Jessica!". It was the medicine talking in me lol. One of the male nurses asked me to scoot over onto the operating table after they pushed my bed next to it. They then put my arms out straight beside me and put these really heavy and somewhat hot blankets over them. That's all that I remember and I was then off into la la land. Then surgery lasted about 4 hours, it made my mom quite worried, but my doctor had made one of my boobs a C, then went to the other and made it a B, and then went back and made the other a B. I'm not quite sure why she did that, but that is what she told my mom. Mom said she came out to her grinning ear to ear. I didn't have to have drain tubes and evidently she was more than pleased at how well I did during surgery.
I remember being in recovery and not being able to open my eyes, and being in a good bit if pain. I could hear a nurse talking and they would ask if I was hurting and then they would put more medicine in my IV. They were extremely nice to me! I started to open my eyes a little when they started rolling me back to my mom. I don't remember anything until I got to my mom and she started rubbing my head and saying my name. My tongue felt like the size of a watermelon and felt like it could be a good replacement for a cactus. They gave me sprite, water, and one measly saltine cracker haha. Keep in mind that it was about 4:00 p.m. and I had not had anything to eat since about 9:00 p.m. the previous night. I thought it was weird though that I did not even want to eat really, I just felt as though I could drink about 12 gallons of water right then and there! I was extremely hot and sweaty and was overly thrilled when the nurse took off those stockings they made me wear! She said I had to wear them when I got back home though. They put a cold rag on my head and I went back to sleep. I don't remember anything until they woke me up and told me that it was time to go home! They helped me to the bathroom and helped me put my clothes on. I thought I would feel really weird about this but at that time I did not care. I felt very uncomfortable and extremely weird though in my chest, it was just a lot if soreness and heaviness. They wheeled me out to my car and helped me get in. I can honestly say that the worst part is just the ride home, every bump is extremely noticeable to say the least haha. My mom was so patient with me though and she drove really, really slow. In fact I think every driver around us was furious, if only they knew!
I don't remember much else from that day, my parents helped me into the recliner, that we still joke about because it's consider my "dads chair" and I'm still spending every hour of my time in it. I was very nauseous and would wake up every now and then to throw up :( And since I had not ate anything for a while it was nothing but fluids. My surgery was on a Wednesday and the worst day was Friday. My sister had just arrived back from her honey moon, they were staying the night and then heading back out the next day. Also my brother, his wife, and their newborn baby were there to greet my sister. Also my mom, my dad, and my boyfriend. They all gathered in the living room and that's where I have to sleep, in the recliner on my back. It was getting so loud, everybody talking and the baby crying. I had the worst migraine from the pain medicine and I was so sad and self conscious from not have had a shower, not being able to do my hair, being sweaty, etc. My boyfriend always notices when I'm on the brink of tears so he helped move me upstairs until they were able to leave and settle down. I laid on the bed in my room and was incredible uncomfortable. It was a really hard day for me.
The days after were better. I was sore and tired, frustrated for not being able to sleep on my back and not being able to do anything for myself. I hate asking people to help me and I always feel like an annoyance, but everybody in my family and my boyfriend were more than perfect to me. Something that was really hard for me was using the bathroom, I had a lot of trouble because I had to really concentrate to be able to pee. Mom said this was normal but I would cry every single time that I went to the bathroom. I don't know if it is like this for everybody but it was a struggle for me. Other than that I was just really tired, weak, sore, and uncomfortable. The rest of the time I spent on my phone, watching Netflix, or doing word searches my Grandma brought me haha. I'm so thrilled that my boyfriend spent so much time with me, I mean he is truly incredible. He would work 12 hour shifts at work and then come straight to my house and stay the night, then go back to work the next morning. He barely even went to his house. This part was really nice for me because my parents would never allow this under normal circumstances haha. As long as I was taking my medicine though, I was fine!
I was really nervous about taking a shower for the first time. My mom had me sit on a wooden stool in the bath tub and I wore my bathing suit bottoms so it wasn't too weird haha. She said "awe this reminds me of when you were little." I started to cry a little because of nerves and being emotional but it went great! We used body wash on everything but my chest, and then used antibacterial stuff that the doctor had given us before surgery, they had given us 2 but we only used 1 of them so we had an extra. My mom was really gentle and she tried to get some of the dried blood off which didn't hurt a bit! She put my gauze and hospital bra on and then brush/dried my hair for me, and I went back to my recliner!
Monday after surgery the doctor said I looked perfect! Which I didn't really feel all that perfect, she just meant that I was looking perfect for the time that had passed. She then said that the nurse would be in to remove the staples, and I started panicking! I only had 4 or 5 staples but I was still very nervous! And let me just say that it did not hurt one bit, which is crazy to me.
During the visit she told me I could use my arms more and I was thrilled! She said no pushing, pulling, lifting, driving, swimming, and stuff like that though. I just guess the whole arm thing only comes in to play for actually wearing a shirt that isn't button up hahaha. The rest of that week my mom had to go back to work and my boyfriend worked from 6-6 everyday so I spent all of my time alone in this recliner. I still had to be very careful with everything I did so I'll tell you now that all I ever got up for was to pee, or to get some water. I barely ate anything but crackers which my mom got on to me for. I still had trouble peeing as well. My friends would come occasionally throughout the day but I did spend most of the time sleeping, and watching tv.
I became real emotional the past few days. I've had good days where I feel really great and want do walk around more, but I also have terrible days where I am sore, tired, weak, and cranky! I became very overwhelmed when I saw my new boobs for the first time in the mirror, not gonna lie they looked odd! I love them so far and I am not regretting my surgery I am just not used to it at all. I feel at a bit of a loss kind of, and this is something that I never thought I would have a problem with. I hated my boobs with a passion but they had also been a part of who I was and now they are gone. I know that may seem strange, but I researched it online and found that other women who have had a breast reduction have experienced the same things! So I felt a lot better about everything! Like I said I would not take them surgery back I was just feeling a bit depressed, unsure, weird, and different. It is a big adjustment, a major change, and I think it is normal to have these emotional feelings now that I have read that other women have felt the same way.
Right now the hardest thing for me is to remember that it takes time and patience to heal! I have to remember all of the reasons that I decided to have this surgery, all if the benefits I will gain from it, and the happiness that is has brought me so far and will continue to bring me! I have to give myself time to heal properly and not look at them as though they will stay bruised and scarred forever. I have to remember that I will get better and that I will feel better after I am healed. I have had moments of sadness thinking and feeling unattractive with them right now. But I found this website, and it has brought me a great deal of relief from reading it. I also found blogs of women who have had the same type of emotional feelings, and days of being overwhelmed and a bit afraid. I am sharing this because I want to try and help the women who have had this surgery and may or may not have had these same feelings. You are not alone!
I am feeling a lot better about everything now, I love that I have made myself feel better and found things that encourage me and make me feel good about my decision! I am so excited about the days to come with my new boobs! I have a lot to look forward to now: the day the doctor tells me I can sleep on my stomach again hahaha, the day I can sleep in my bed and not the recliner, being able to run and work out again, being able to try on new bras and learning my new and official breast size, being able to wear shirts that are cute without feeling like I am revealing everything, swimsuit season, and I'm sure much much more!
Share with me and tell me about your story! If you've experienced the same or different things as me, questions you have if you have had or are thinking about having the surgery, or anything else! I'm not a doctor or anything I just love talking to other people who have had this surgery! Thank you for reading this novel of mine hahaha! Xoxoxo - Jessica
I took a ton of pictures, since I absolutely adore them, and I do photography. Hopefully these will help you. Granted I am only 12 days post operation, I took pictures before surgery, and every day after so that I can see the healing process. Hope this helps you.