The Final Touch. - Albuquerque, NM

So, tomorrow is my 22nd birthday and I'm excited to say that I'm finally celebrating as the happy, fit woman I always wanted to be! I set a goal of being 135 lbs by my birthday and as of yesterday I weighed in at 136.1, close enough for me!

I'm just about 8 weeks from my surgery date and I'm looking forward to my second consultation with Dr. Cuadros on the 23rd. The last time I met with him was in December, so it'll be nice to reacquaint everyone with the situation. He told me last time to bring my parents if I wanted to, bring my friends, anyone who would be helping after surgery so he could properly inform them about the procedure and the aftercare process. He was really, really friendly and accommodating, which I really appreciate. Its especially nice because my mom is paying for my surgery, (she and I made a deal in high school that if I lost the weight she'd take care of anything I needed afterwords) so its important that she feel comfortable with him and the process as well.

I feel like eight weeks is going to FLY by! I'm getting really, really nervous about the whole thing, but I know I'm in good hands. I've been having this dream a lot lately, where I'm waking up a few days after surgery and I'm not in any pain or anything. And then I look down and I see this gigantic scar and the same saggy tummy I have now. I know its just my mind playing tricks on me and my subconscious fears trying to work themselves out, but its still terrifying!

The other day I cried when I was getting ready. I feel like its hard for some people in my life to understand why I want to do this, but its hard waking up everyday and knowing how hard I've worked in the last few years and having lumpy saggy skin to show for it. I don't want to sound like a whiny baby, but its not fair. I don't want to see it any more, I want all of my hard work to be reflected in the mirror. I'm trying to keep my head up! I hope everyone is doing well!

I had my second consultation with the surgeon last week and it was quick, to the point and comforting. He gave me a packet of information about recovery, talked to me about what to expect the day of surgery, what might go wrong, and what to expect afterwards. I am really, really pleased with my choice in doctor, he's been really wonderful thus far.
He asked to see my stomach again and when I lifted my shirt he said, "grab what you don't like." I grabbed the whole damn thing of course, its all yucky! He said good, "all of that will be gone." I asked a lot of question about the scar and about my belly button. He said he's going to use my existing belly button and that he would make the scar as low as he can and pull me as tight as he can without the risk of nervous damage. All good news! I told him that I was concerned about my tattoo (see pictures) because I didn't want him to take some of it and leave the rest, looking nice and sketchy, half a tattoo! He said that he'd take the majority of it out during surgery and then, he comes the not so great news...He said he'd take the rest out in the office a few month after the procedure, during a revision. He said that I have so much excess skin and such a small frame that he feels confident that I'll need a revision after the initial surgery. I guess I feel comforted by the fact that he's telling me up front, but its still a little lame. I'm glad that he's telling me now, rather than saying, "You're going to be a bombshell! Don't worry about anything. I'll take good care of you!" That would seem sleezy to me.
I'm trying to compile a list of things I need to get before surgery, in addition to the list of things that Dr. Cuadros gave me. Any suggestions? What kind of spanx type binders did you all get? What sort of scar treatments have you all used? I'm feeling less than prepared....
I've got another appointment on the 17th of April with the nurse to fill out paperwork and go over all the medication, aftercare, yada-yada. I'm planning to take my mother with me, she's been sort of supportive of this whole thing, but she likes to remind me that its ELECTIVE, that people die from these types of things, and that I don't have to do it. She thinks that it looks worse to me than to anyone else, but no one else has to look in the mirror and see what I see everyday. I've worked hard for this body and I continue to work hard everyday, I think I deserve to like what I see.