Ending my 30th Year of Life with a Change

I am a mother of 3 and I have had c-sections. I have this flap of skin that hangs and I have done a list of diets and at a weight loss clinic I went to before, the dr. told me that the only way to lose the excess skin was to have a tummy tuck. After 4 yrs of thinking about going through the procedure, and only losing 30 lbs, last December I made an appointment with Dr. Albear. He wanted me to drop at least 45/50 lbs. to get my BMI to under 30. I have tried my best to lose that 45/50 lbs but I haven't been to sucessful the last 4 months. My weight fluctuated between 3-6 lbs. I called Dr. Albear and we set up another appointment in May. I went in and we talked and he made a plan. The plan is, we will go along with the surgery and he will do what je can to make me happy. He did explain that he would not be able to get my back done (because I will be laying on the table) and after I heal and continue to work out, he can go back and do a touch up if needed. The main focus is, I will be as flat in the front as he can make me. I am okay with that and I am soooo excited! I made my appointment to have my surgery in June before my 31st birthday.....

TT is scheduled for June 6 and with my job and going through many, many, changes including renovations, I have my surgery in my head but the time is just flying by. It doesn't feel like its only 16 days away!! OMG! I'm super excited and soooo ready to get rid off that nasty flab of skin. But I'm scared that I am not going to be able to keep up with my finances. I know that everything is going to be tight but I can usually figure it out. #Carpe Diem! I need to start getting things together! I sware I've wrote a supply list a couple of times now.

Omg! I have 11 days til my surgery! My work schedule and the unorganization of my place of work has my mind still at a total blank! I still haven't been approved to take a leave from work. Being its a holiday weekend is making me a tad nervous because of time ticking away. Not to mention my radiator in my jeep is about to go kaputz! When it rains, it pours.
Its going to be alright though. This is just a test. I've lost it all before and I'm not going down again. If I do, at least I'll be on the "flat side"