18 year old girl needs a successful revision rhinoplasty and to move on with her life in 2017, please help!

Hey guys! I'm Allison, I've posted on this site multiple times before using a different account until realself found out I was only 17 at the time and blocked me from my account, Grr! But basically, if you look up caved in nasal bone or uneven nostrils in the search bar I'll probably come up. After my primary, I was horrified by the result which led me to become depressed, almost not graduate high school, take a year off of university....the list goes on. I became a little obsessed with posting on the site because realself was the only comfort I could really find. I'm 18 years old now and I'm back on here to start researching and planning for a (hopefully) successful revision rhinoplasty. It actually needs to be successful, I need my life back!
My Story:
Growing up I started to realize that I didn't like the profile of my nose at about age 12. I had a longer nose with quite a bump on it that curved off to the left a bit. As I grew older, I started having trouble breathing out of the left side of my nose, sleeping became hell (I'd wake up multiple times a night with dry mouth) and it became hard for me to do sports I enjoyed like running. I had no idea what was causing this so my mother decided to take me to an ENT when the problem became worse at about age 16.
Sure enough, I had a deviated septum and I needed surgery to fix this. When I found out my septum was deviated, I was ecstatic. I figured that this was a perfect opportunity to fix the breathing issues and fix my nose at the same time. After months of trying to convince my parents to let me go through with a rhinoseptoplasty, they finally agreed that if I were to pay for it, I could have it done.
My search for surgeons began. I consulted with 3 surgeons from the Ottawa area, but I was set on a well known surgeon from Toronto that specializes in only rhinoplasty. My parents tried to get me to have the surgery closer to home (Ottawa), but I couldn't be convinced. I needed this particular Toronto surgeon to perform my surgery and I wouldn't settle for anything less. His outcomes looked phenomenal and his reviews were perfect.
Finally, for my 17th birthday my parents gave me a consultation to go meet this surgeon. I could not have been more happy, my dreams were finally coming true. I waited months and months and counted down the days until I could finally see him and plan my surgery.
In May of 2016, I met this man. The consultation was everything I thought it would be and more. I was told that I had perfect, thin skin for rhinoplasty and that all of my goals were very achievable. He had told me that I would be "an easy case". He assured me he would be able to keep my front view how it was (what I asked for) while giving me a smaller nose and a more feminine profile. I left his office feeling amazing and motivated to work until I saved every last cent. This positive consultation also somehow motivated me to start working out more and do better in school. In my mind, this was the start of a better me.
I finally booked my surgery in the summer of 2016 for November 17th, 2016. I was so nervous for this surgery, but more excited than anything else. I continued to work toward making myself better working out every single day and when school started in September, I was excelling in every subject. The time before my surgery was the highest point of my life.
When November came around, I got so nervous but I was extremely excited. I had so much support from my friends and family and my life felt picture perfect. I went into the surgery extremely nervous, I remember taking one last look at myself in the mirror. I thought to myself that I did like how I looked, but I couldn't wait to be just a little bit better. I wish I would have walked the hell out of that hospital then and there.
I was given drugs to calm me down before the surgery but they didn't seem to work, I remember the anesthesiologist comforting me and telling me everything was going to be fine. She put a gas mask over my face and told me to breathe in. I did it a few times and they took it off, I remember being aware for a few more seconds and I got anxious (I had read way to much into anesthesia awareness before surgery) and I said "I'm still awake guys!!" and they all laughed and told me they knew that i was but i would be asleep soon. I don't remember anything after that.
I woke up in a hospital bed very confused. I remember being so thirsty. I was so drugged I kept falling asleep and waking up over and over. Morphine gave me some weird vivid dreams and the few hours after my surgery was a blur. Morphine also ended up making me break out in hives a few hours later but that's a different story. When my mom came in she told me that my surgery had lasted about 4 hours and that she had talked to my surgeon after they wheeled me out. He had told her that there was a complication where my left nasal bone had caved in when he performed the osteotomies but that he had fixed the issue with grafting and that the outcome should be okay.
I was so drugged this information didn't really phase me at the time. It wasn't until a few days later that my concerns became worse and worse. As soon as the drugs wore off and I was home, I looked at myself in the mirror with the cast on. I noticed that my nostrils were really uneven when they hadn't been before surgery. This scared me and I emailed his office. His consultant has told me that it was almost definitely just the swelling and that it should even out overtime. That calmed me down a bit and I began counting down the days until I could get my cast off so I could see my new nose.
Finally the day came and I was so nervous and excited. I waited in the hospital to meet with my surgeon to have the splints out. One of his students was actually the one to remove my cast and splints (This was awful btw).
When the cast has came off I looked over at my mom right away because I hadn't seen it yet. I could tell by the look on her face that something was wrong. My heart just about stopped. His student handed me the mirror and I looked at myself. I literally saw stars. I did not know who I was looking at. I almost passed out right in that chair.
My front view was entirely different. I took into account that I was extremely swollen, but I knew right then and there that the shape of my nose was just not right and that it had been botched. This was not me anymore.
I tried to give it time to heal, but the more I looked in the mirror, the worse I felt. I became more and more depressed every single day. I felt as if I'd wasted thousands of dollars to ruin my face and my identity. As the months went on it looked worse and worse. My left nasal bone was completely caved in, my right nasal bone healed way too far out-giving my nose a c shape, my nostrils were completely uneven and a small hard and pointy bump began to form on the right side of my nose. I was a complete mess.
This lead me into a deep depression. I stopped going to school and my grades fell completely when I was trying to get into university. I would stay in bed all day and sleep. I would wish this was all just a bad dream that I was going to wake up from. I looked in the mirror and cried every day. I took selfie after selfie analyzing all of the flaws over and over again. I was no longer Allison, I had turned myself into someone I didn't know anymore and someone I no longer liked on the inside or the outside.
I began to email my surgeon about the awful result and update him with pictures. He agreed he had made it worse from the front even though my profile had been made better. I consulted with him multiple times after. He tried to inject filler in my nostril rim to bring the nostril down (didn't work) and tried to inject filler in the bridge to correct the caving in as well. This only made my nose wider and made me feel worse. He agreed that I needed a revision, but was hesitant to do it because he didn't know if he would be able to correct the problems he had created. Knowing that he was supposed to be the best of the best, this brought me to rock bottom of my depression.
I knew I needed a revision as soon as I could possibly get one. I needed my life back. I felt so hopeless. I didn't know how I was going to save money for a revision. I had no money left because of my primary. I didn't trust him to do another revision because he didn't trust himself to. He told me that there was a big chance he would make my nose worse if he operated again and that a revision wasn't likely to be successful.
I decided to ask for my money back, I didn't know what else to do. I was so lost in the mess and I just needed some sort of starting point to bring me out of the hole I was in. Luckily, I chose a surgeon who was genuinely a decent human being and after some time refunded me my money in september 2016.
Anyways, If you are still reading this, THANK YOU! You're a trooper!
I am currently living in Australia, I didn't go to university because I just couldn't focus on school after last year. In my heart I still feel like I need to get this out of the way so I can get my life back and be able to properly focus on something other than STUPID revision rhinoplasty. I hate the word. My life revolves around that stupid word.
I moved here to be an Au pair for a few months and to basically try to run away from my problems for a bit. But as I expected, they followed me all the way across the freaking world as well. I need this fixed.
I have consulted with 2 revision surgeons in Canada since this has happened but I have a consultation booked with the amazing Dr. Richard Davis in Miramar Florida this coming May. I am also considering stopping by Dr. Ghavami's office on my way home from Australia, since my connecting flight will be in LA.
Basically, I would love to hear from you guys! Please tell me your revision experiences, ask questions, tell me about surgeons I should consult with, give me advice, just say hi even, I just really would love to have some support and be able to give it in return. 2017 is the year I am getting my revision and it needs to be successful. I need to be Allison once again.
I would absolutely love and appreciate hearing anything you guys might have to say!
Thank you so much for reading and here are some pictures! xx

Hi again! I haven't posted in a while since nothing has really been happening since I'm still in Australia. I've been saving to travel here, which actually makes me feel really guilty because I know that I need to be saving for revision. Anyway, the fact that I wasn't moving forward at all started to really depress me and ruin every single day. I hate my nose more and more everyday and after a few months of trying hard not to think about it I knew something had to be done.
On my 19th birthday (march 17th) I was celebrating at the bar that I work at and a regular customer came in and I noticed she looked really different in a good way. Of course the first thing I ever notice about people is their nose since I've always been insecure about mine. She's a really pretty girl, but her nose drew lots of attention rather than her other positive features. She had a droopy nose with a big bump previously. Her nose had clearly changed and it looked amazing. Her nose had been similar to my birth nose, and every time she came in I'd always stare at it because she reminded me so much of myself before. Anyway now it looked perfect, like absolutely perfect. She had the result that I had always wanted and asked for from my first surgery. My first reaction was to be jealous and envious of her, but I'm glad she had a good result. Nobody on this entire planet deserves to feel the regret, depression and self hate that are caused by a failed rhinoplasty. Even though I don't know this girl very well, a few drinks in I confronted her about it in private and told her she looked amazing. I would never have done this sober LOL. Anyway she ended up telling me all about her wonderful surgeon Dr. Zacharia who actually conveniently runs his office about 10 minutes down the street from where I'm currently living in Double Bay, NSW. Even better, because she referred me, I get to consult with him for $72 when he usually charges $350.
I know for a fact I will never have my revision with dr. Zacharia. I've looked into him quite a bit and he seems like his main thing is primary rhinoplasty and I need a revision god to fix this mess. I just need some kind of opinion to think about since I haven't taken a step forward with this in so long. I'll just see what he thinks and have it in the back of my mind when I start to take bigger steps with revision specialists in the future. I want to have as many opinions as I can get before I take this plunge. My revision consult is scheduled for this Thursday march 30th, so 2 more days.
Speaking of other revision specialists, I've decided to go back to Canada may 31st now rather than end of August so I can consult with dr. Richard Davis in Florida on June 14th at 4pm. My mom booked our flights and accomodation for my birthday so that is definitely something to look forward to. His opinion is going to be extremely important and most likely determine what my future holds. I'm going to start to update this account more frequently since my journey is now in progress. I will 100% write all about my consult with Davis on here & post morphs since I know there are so many people who are interested.
Other than that, I've been thinking about booking a consult with Dr. Shahidi in Sydney Australia to get another good opinion. His work is amazing. I've also been extremely interested in Dr. Ion. Even more so than Dr. Davis possibly. I've emailed his office and am considering consulting with him August 30th!
Will update after my consult on Thursday! X

Hey everyone,
I've been meaning to update on realself forever. I spend almost every day on this site but writing another update when so much has happened has been bugging me for months. Finally doing it!
I need to start updating this way more frequently because I actually have been taking a lot of steps towards fixing this mess, I’ve just been too lazy/busy to document it. I’m writing about these last few months & consults from memory, so I could be leaving some things out. If you have any questions please feel free to inbox or ask in the comments & I will get back to you! Here it goes!

Consult #1- Dr. Richard Davis, Miami

On June 14th, I finally consulted with Dr. Richard Davis in Miami. It was a long time coming.... I had basically been waiting to see him since I realized I didn't like how my primary turned out. Meeting with him was a bit surreal. We had emailed back and forth so many times, when I walked in and saw him he said something like "I feel like I already know you" or something. I felt like I already knew him as well. He spent about 4 hours with me.... which I thought was really awesome. We talked about all my issues and everything I didn't like (caved in nasal bone, notched nostril, pointy bump on tip, surgical appearance of the nose) and he told me what he wanted to do. So first of all, he told me right off the bat that I would need septal & rib cartilage which really surprised me and scared the life out of me. I’ve heard so many horror stories about rib warping, especially from his patients lately. I had consulted with 4 revision surgeons before him (ones that were not as hyped up for revision as Davis) and not one had said that I would need rib. My original surgeon also told me that he had left me with lots of septum so I would never need rib. So this completely shocked me and I told him that I had never heard that from anyone before and that my own surgeon said that I had lots of septum left. He then sat me down in the chair and inspected the inside of my nose with a long q-tip thing. He said something like "you do possibly have some septum left but the material is "mushy" and I would be more comfortable to just use rib because why use the second best option when you have the first that's accessible". He went on to tell me that my airways are becoming pinched and I’m developing inverted v deformity- just one more thing to add on to this nose from hell. He will need to do functional things to fix this, including widening my bridge a bit, which will also fix the dent from the caved in nasal bone. I really do not want my nose to get any wider so I felt a bit uncomfortable with that idea. I find that my nose has already been made wider after my primary and I really do not want it to be made any wider. Dr. Davis also talked about adding length to my nose which I do want, but the amount he wants to add seems a little excessive. I’m going to attach the morphs at the end of this so you’ll see what I mean, he seems to want to make my profile a bit long and pointy for my liking. I don’t mind my current right side profile where the nostril isn’t notched. However I do think I want a little bit of length back, I’m just not sure if I would be pleased with as much as he wants me to have. The front morph he made also looks a bit funny to me, I’ve been struggling with this angle the most. I find he made me look piggy with a wide bridge and that I almost look better now with my wacky nose. I just look at it and don’t really see myself which is scary. One good thing was that he seemed very confident about fixing my nostrils which I found surprising, I’ve been told by countless surgeons that this would be the hardest part of my revision, but he made it sound & look easy which you’ll see in my morphs. He told me I would need to stretch my nose every single day (by pulling down on my nostrils) every 10 minutes until I went for surgery so the skin was loose enough for him to add grafts successfully. At the end of my long and informative consult he finally told me the length and price of the surgery. Both were not pretty. The length would be around 7 hours and the price…. $17, 580 USD and if my surgery goes over 7 hours it will be $295 USD per half hour. I did not ever think that my surgery would be that long or expensive.. I felt like crying when he told me. I am from Canada so I would be paying in Canadian dollars. The US dollar is way higher right now so I’d be looking at about $21, 350 CAD plus extra if my surgery goes overtime. When I left I felt more informed but a little disappointed because I just felt he couldn’t really pinpoint what I want out of this next surgery. I need a surgeon who completely knows and understands what I need to be happy with my nose and move on. After about 2 weeks, I decided to play around with Davis’s morphs myself to see if I could compromise with what he thinks he could give me and what I want to find something I am truly happy with. After playing with editing apps I finally found what I’m looking for. I decided to show Dr. Davis to see if he thought my new morphs that I made could be achievable. His answer wasn’t exactly what I was hoping for. He basically said that we could aim for what I had made, but since it’s a revision I can’t be so picky since the results are unpredictable and at times out of his control. I understand this completely, it was just extremely hard for me to hear. Reading this made me realise that no matter what, I’ll most likely never get exactly what I want and that really really stings. Anyway, in conclusion I’m not counting Davis out, but I’m just not sure if he’s the guy for me. I need to meet more surgeons before making that decision.

Consult #2- Dr. Peter Brownrigg, Ottawa

Going to Miami to meet with Dr. Davis was expensive in itself, and the fact that having surgery, accommodation and all living expenses while I’m there are basically going to break the bank if I follow through is stressing my poor mother right out. She really wants me to have surgery in Canada close to home so it’s affordable. I’ve explained to her countless times that unfortunately there don’t seem to be many amazing revision surgeons in Canada at all. My primary surgeon is supposed to be the best in the area for both primary and revision and look how that turned out….. Anyway my mom funded my consult in Miami as a birthday present, so I figured I would see a local revision surgeon just to say I gave it a shot. I met with Dr. Brownrigg the day after I got home from Miami (June 16th). This was the first surgeon I ever consulted with back when I was 16. My mom thought it would be a good idea to see him and get his opinion. He does revisions but not many and from what I’ve heard they aren’t fantastic so I knew going in there was a 99% chance I wouldn’t go with him going in. I went into his office and was given my old file. I saw my writing from when I was 16 before all of this horrible stuff happened and I couldn’t help but get choked up. I was holding back tears the whole time I was in the waiting room from that alone. A young girl came into the office with her parents when I was waiting to be seen. She reminded me so much of my pre-surgery self. She had a projected nose with a bump on it and she looked so excited to be there like I had been before I knew the reality of this horrible plastic surgery hell. I just wanted to tell her that she was beautiful how she was and that she should leave and just love herself before it’s too late and she ends up like me. Finally I was called into the room to be seen by Dr. Brownrigg. I sat on a big chair and waited for him to come in. I looked on the counter beside me and saw pictures that he had taken of my nose before surgery from all angles. I didn’t even know these existed. I couldn’t help it, I broke down into tears and couldn’t stop crying. I miss my natural self so much it’s unbearable and at that moment with the somewhat disappointing Davis consult and everything going on, I just felt so hopeless. I wish I realised how much I actually loved myself before I decided to go through with this, even if by some next to impossible chance my next surgery does bring a favorable outcome, I’ll probably never stop missing the face I was born with. Dr. Brownrigg walked in to me crying and I felt embarrassed. He gave me tissues and started asking me what I didn’t like about my nose and I listed the issues off. He seemed to be understanding until he asked who my surgeon was and I told him. Keep in mind my primary surgeon is somewhat close to Ottawa and he made it clear that these two knew each other well. As soon as this happened, the entire scenario changed. He began telling me that there’s nothing wrong with my nose and that I need to accept it and move on with my life because any revision surgery I get is going to ruin it. He concluded with saying he wouldn’t operate on me and leaving the room after making me feel absolutely hopeless and horrible. He was extremely nasty the entire consult. The consult lasted about 10 minutes. So I paid about $100 for about 10 minutes of this guys time. I remembered exactly why I didn’t go with him first time around. I asked if I could have the images he took of me before my primary surgery when I left and he told me that each one would cost $10…. For a photo of myself. I emailed and asked for them again later and was even willing to pay but never got any response. I left his office feeling sick to my stomach I was so sad and hopeless. I cried the rest of the night. Maybe he’s right, maybe I am unfixable. But I need to see more surgeons before giving up, because I’ll never be happy how I am now.

Upcoming consult #3- DR LUCION ION IN LONDON!!!

Okay so my flights and accommodation are booked and I am flying to England to see Dr. Ion on September 26th. My consult is on September 28th at 4:45 pm. I am so excited and scared it’s unreal. I feel like if anyone can help me, it will be him. If he thinks he can’t help, then I’m probably at a dead end. Please send prayers and good luck my way! I really really hope seeing him will be the answer I’ve been looking for for the last almost two years. I need to get on with my life.

I will update as soon as I meet Dr. Ion and hopefully it will be with good news. Thank you for reading xx