Hi, thanks for your question and for being so open in telling your thoughts. There are several things that can be done in your case, but as Dr. Griffin is telling you, you would be better if you seek professional advice from a Psychatrist. Depression could be very dangerous, nowadays is very common. You are a pretty woman, and there are options to enhance your features. But first things first, try to seek help with your possible depression, and after that you should have a face to face consultation to discuss thorughly options that would make you feel better about yourself.
From your description, I believe that you are suffering from clinical depression. I strongly recommend that you seek medical help especially since you have mentioned having suicidal thoughts. This is nothing to be ashamed of and can be treated. Please reach out either through your own physician or by going to the emergency room. You can address the cosmetic issues later, treating the depression comes first.