How do I ask my orthodontist for a refund? He's messed me up terribly, along with his chosen surgeon

Start by having a conversation consultation with your current orthodontist. Have a list of all of your concerns and ask him or her if they will be able to fix these problems. Possibly even submit the list to them first and ask to have enough time scheduled for the orthodontist to answer your questions. Also, have any records from a dentist that documents that that teeth are in a compromised position relative to the bone. If you are not satisfied with the answers, try and get a second opinion from another orthodontist.
Find and orthodontist with 10-20 years of experience and preferably board certified. Have him or her work up your case and tell you what, if anything, needs or can be done to fix what you believe has not been done correctly.