I have hated my chest for as long as I can remember. As a teenager, I wore a 34DD bra, and was uncomfortable with the size and the attention they brought. As I matured, and lost my "baby fat" my breasts shrank to a 32C (my happy size), but the shape was never ideal. They sagged and the areola were always larger than I liked. Fast forward to me now, at 38, after having three children (last one at 30) and nursing them all for over a year. You can just imagine what three pregnancies, and almost 4 years total of breastfeeding does to a woman's breasts. Combine that with not so perky breasts to begin with and you have the chest I have. I have never stopped being unhappy with my chest, no matter how much my husband says he loves them as is. He actually has been talking me out of breast surgery for the last 10 years. But I know I will never be fully comfortable in my skin the way they are right now. And I am so ready for this.
Where am I currently? I'm 5"4 and my weight fluctuates between 117 and 125. I'm in shape- I work out about 3 times a week, do yoga, pilates, and dance- so I have a good overall shape (except for some extra fat on my hips- more about that later). I'm happy with the shape of my body and my weight- except for my chest, and the fact that, after three pregnancies, my overall skin is not the best. It's saggy in parts, and I know I have good muscle tone, but if you look at my stomach/side, you can see I've had babies. And that's ok! I know I'm not 20, but I can live without wearing a bikini, as long as I get a perkier chest that I am not self-conscious about all the time. Not having to wear the most "supportive" bra out there, with the thickest straps is my FANTASY!
So back to 2015-2016. I said to myself, this is the year I do it. I gave my children the "best of me" (with no regrets) but I deserve to feel good in my skin. With that in mind, I've spent the last year researching the best options for my breasts. I am VERY thorough, and I am looking to do this right. I don't care about the cost, I want the best doctor and the best result, not a "bargain".
I narrowed my search down to three doctors- Dr. X, Dr. Y, and David Hidalgo.
Dr. X was recommended by word of mouth. He's considered the best "breast reconstruction" doctor for woman who have experienced breast cancer. He is the director of plastic surgery at a big NYC hospital. I called for an appointment in September, and he couldn't see me until the beginning of January! I waited patiently, because I heard so many good things.
I met Dr. X in January- his waiting room was busy ( a good sign). When I first met him, he was not the warmest person, but that is not necessarily what I need in a good surgeon. So I let him examine me, and let me just say, he made me feel even worse about my body. He commented on how "large" my areola were (as if I wasn't aware already, thanks) even for a breast lift candidate. I think an "experienced" doctor would know that if you are seeing someone to fix your breasts, it's probably an area they are already very sensitive about, you should be extra careful in the way you speak to them. After he made that insensitive comment, I tried to move past how upsetting it was so I could hear what he recommended. He said he would use a "lollipop" technique, and that even with this reduction in areola, there might (worst-case scenario) be a leftover bit of areola in the vertical scar part (from my lower nipple running straight down along the scar). Basically it would like like a wider, irregular scar. He said, IF that ended up happening, he would treat the area with a laser once the healing process was done.
He told me that I would not need an implant in addition to the lift (which some women end up needing because their breasts are smaller and flatter) which was nice to hear.
I am also self-conscious about my "armpit bulge", a little piece of fat at the top of my arm right where my sports bra ends. He told me he would liposuction that during the procedure.
I wasn't sold on Dr. X, I'm sure he is really good at what he does, but I didn't feel good about my experience in his office. I was concerned that if I had an issue or concern, he wouldn't really care. And his comment to me made me very uncomfortable and more embarrassed about my body.
My second consult was with Dr. Y I had heard of him through a neighbor (who is also a plastic surgeon, but I wouldn't feel comfortable seeing a neighbor for surgery). He said Dr Y is a great person, and a good surgeon. Of course, I googled everything I could about Dr. Y and the reviews about him were amazing. And so many! It sounded too good to be true. And I just couldn't understand why so many really well-known doctors have like 2 or 3 reviews, and Dr. Y had more than 60, 5-star reviews. Yes, I'm cynical, and I'm not saying these reviews were fake, but still... I am very cautious about online reviews, because they are too easy to fake.
I scheduled my appointment with him, there was pretty much any day I chose available, even on one-week notice. Again, I'm cynical, but surgeons are busy. And top plastic surgeons in NYC are ALWAYS busy. Dr. Y's consult was free, so I went in. His staff is super nice, and Dr. Y himself is really lovely and warm. He made me feel so at ease. He spent almost an hour with me talking about every little detail of what bothered me. He did not make me feel ashamed of my body. I didn't feel rushed at all. He gently suggested I might want to have liposuction on the top of my hips since he was already going to do a little lipo in the underarm area as part of the breast lift. He said if I did this, it would be a more complicated procedure, and I would be his only patient of the day.
Once he suggested the lipo, I got more and more excited about it. No matter how much I work out, I have fat on the top of my hips that never goes away. My husband agreed with me that it made sense to do it all at once.
The third and last doctor I saw was Dr. Hidalgo. I don't remember how I came across his name, but his reviews consistently said he is a perfectionist and top of the line in breast surgery. He also was the Chief of Plastic Surgery at a big hospital for 10 years. For this one, I asked my husband to come along and give me his opinion of the doctor as well. I scheduled a consult, and had to wait a month to come in. His office waiting room was packed. Dr. Hidalgo was very business-like, not very warm or friendly like Dr. Engler. He told me the same thing as Dr. Sultan, there might be a larger scar on the bottom of my breast. He said I had to choose between whether I wanted the breast high, but with a larger scar on the bottom of the breast, or not as high, but with a much thinner scar. When I heard these were my options I got very emotional. I never thought I would not be able to have a "normal" lift, and after dreaming about this for years, I was really disappointed to hear this. He also told me he wouldn't be able to get rid of the fat by the top of my armpit. He said it actually wasn't fat, but the shape of my pectoral muscle, and nothing could really be done about it. (Another big let-down). I appreciate that he didn't try to make a lot of promises and get my hopes up. I would be SO upset if that was the case. His fee was the highest of the three.
Then, we met with Dr. Hidalgo's consultant, and I started to cry (a lot of built-up anxiety and stress about this surgery). She told me that what I was going through was totally common. I shared with her how upset I was that he couldn't give me the high lift I had always wanted. She told us Dr. Hidalgo usually gives his patients the worst-case scenario, and most of the time he is able to do much more than he initially said he could. She also told me that he does the best work of any surgeon she has ever seen. (He actually is a trained painter, and his incredible drawings are all over his office.)
After thinking about it for a couple of weeks, I called up Dr. Hidalgo's office today and booked my surgery with him for March 2. He wasn't as "warm" as Doctor 2, but I felt like I would be in the hands of a perfectionist if I was under his care. I could see that he has an artist's eye, but also the skill of a top top surgeon.
I will post pictures and keep you updated on my surgery. I really hope this is helpful and informative for any of you who, like me, wanted this for so long!
Updated on 1 Mar 2016:
Tomorrow's the big day!!!! I have been taking Arnica and Bromelain 3 times a day, as the doctor instructed. I've cut out all alcohol, ibuprofen, etc. This afternoon I made a bunch of meals for my family for the next week. I still don't know how long I'm going to be "out of it" after the surgery, so I'm planning ahead. I haven't yet told my children I'm getting surgery, because I don't want them anxious (they are 14, 12 and 10). Hopefully when they get home from school tomorrow, I can tell them I had back surgery. I hate to lie, but my "boob lift" is a very private and emotional thing. The fewer people know, the better.
After I decided on Hidalgo, I went back for a second appointment. I needed more information and "hand holding". The staff was super flexible with accomodating me at the last minute. Again, his waiting room was packed! And I even saw the wife of a very well-known hockey player. So, hopefully this is more proof I'm in good hands!
I haven't been sleeping well- I know it's nerves. I doubt I'll sleep much tonight.
When I get back and can post pictures, I will post both my BEFORE and AFTER pictures.
Wish me luck!!!!!
Updated on 1 Mar 2016:
Updated on 1 Mar 2016:
Updated on 2 Mar 2016:
My surgery ended at 12, I was in recovered until about 2 and I've been home for about 2 hours- literally walking around like it's a normal weekday! I'm able to walk up and down stairs, get up from the couch and my chair, and I even made myself eggs. My kids don't even know I had anything done!
When I first woke up, my chest was really hurting, like a tingling pain in the nipple area. I thought, "oh no", because the Dr. had told me it's really only breast augmentation that has a painfull recovery. I alo had to use the bathroom really badly, and after sedation apparently it can take forever for your bladder to let down, which was unpleasant. I was also really woozy, as expected.
But after half an hour or so I started feeling clear-headed enough to walk to my husband's car. The first ten minutes of the drive my chest felt literally EVERY bump and dip in the car but then I fell asleep and woke up as we got home.
Dr. Hidalgo had stopped in to see me before I left and told me he was able to make take the areola down to 4 mm, instead of at most 4.5mm as he had originally said. That was so nice to hear!
At home I made myself something to eat and hung out reading magazines and helping my son with homework. At one point I crossed my arms around my chest ( an instinctive gesture I often make) and, Wow! My chest was not as low down as it usually is! By 4pm I felt 85% of my usual self.... no pain in the chest or lipo area- just a little stiffness as if I had done too many squats.
A side note- I didn't "love" the recovery area in the surgical suite. It was an open corner closed off with a curtain, and at one point they wheeled in next to me the surgery after mine, and she was snoring like a freight train. Although they did put a curtain divider between us, I guess I was expecting my own room?
More updates soon!
Updated on 3 Mar 2016:
A lot more pain today.... I didn't realize I was numb from the lipo yesterday (apparently they inject a numbing agent with the fluid they use to perform the surgery). The numbness wore off overnight.
I slept propped up and took one pill with hydrocodone before bed, but sleep overall wasn't so great.
I dozed until about 11am and got up to "ambulate". My back is KILLING me. The area above the compression garment is very swollen and so tender I can't even touch it lightly. The last time it felt like this was after childbirth, and the epidural. My breasts feel fine, not sore at all, just tender.
My breasts are really full and high. I know this is only temporary until the swelling goes down, but I wish it wasn't. I keep cupping them in wonder, lol.
Other than that I don't know how anything under the compression garment looks. I've been walking every hour, and the pain is mostly under control, but I'm dreading tonight- I know I will be tired and won't be able to sleep well propped up on 3 pillows.
The pain meds REALLY make me hungry. Am I the only one? Everything tastes really good, and I can't stop eating!!!!
Updated on 4 Mar 2016:
My chest doesn't hurt at all!!!
Took a shower this morning, and I feel much better. As you can see in the pics there is hardly any bruising, and Dr. Hidalgo did all the stitching himself and it looks perfect.
My husband didn't want to look at them when I was changing my gauze last night, and when I finally convinced him he wouldn't pass out from it, he was stunned at how good they look compared to some of the scary pictures out there.
I am really uncomfortable in the lipo compression garment- the swelling from the lipo is the only difficult aspect of this entire surgery. I will try to get a looser garment because I can hardly breathe from it at times.
I took a pain pill last night and just regular tylenol this morning. I'm trying to drink a ton to help flush out all the bloating. And I'm still taking Arnica and Bromelain three times daily to speed up the healing. When I have better lipo pictures I will post those as well.
Updated on 8 Mar 2016:
I've been mostly focused on my breast lift but I also got lipo and want to share with you a really important tip---- If your doctor doesn't provide a compression garment (mine didn't) you MUST get it fitted by a professional before, so you have the right garment right away.
I ordered mine online, using their size chart, which the reviews said were accurate and it is a size too small. It has been a device of torture for the last few days. I try to keep it on as much as possible because it helps the skin contract, but at times I'm wearing spanx instead just so I can breathe without my ribs hurting. At night I wake up in pain from how tight it is. I ordered a size larger and am still waiting on it. I see mixed opinions on Real Self about whether you need the garment or not. But it makes sense that it helps your skin redrape smoothly, so I'll tough it out as long as I can.
The swelling from the lipo goes up and down depending on the day and it shows up in different places, (one day it was really obvious in my face). Right now I can't see any difference in the areas he did- but right after the surgery and before the bruising started my waist looked great (see post op photos).
The bruising shows up in new places on different days. Today my breasts are yellow, and not as hard as the first few days.
I still can't believe my breasts were cut open and reshaped and I feel no pain from it. Tomorrow the sutures come out, I hope it's not too painful!
Updated on 11 Mar 2016:
I hope these pictures are helpful, although I feel they look so much better in person! What do you guys think???
Some of the tape has come off and the bruising is just about gone. I'm so beyond happy at how the vertical line looks just 10 days out. It looks like it may be barely visible once it's all done healing. I went into surgery prepared to have noticeable scars, and so I'm thrilled about this unexpected result. I take my bra off and admire them in the mirror at least 10 times a day, lol. Before the surgery I was always hunched over, and hated seeing myself in a mirror without a bra on.
I finally feel normal.
Lipo results - still a lot of bloating around the waist but my clothing definitely fits better. I wore jeans yesterday and finally there was no muffin top! Doctor Hidalgo said give it three weeks.
I hope all this info is helpful to you, feel free to ask me any questions!
Updated on 22 Mar 2016:
So yesterday I stopped wearing the compression garment. Despite following all the doctor's instructions, I still feel huge and the lipo isn't noticeable. When I saw the doctor at my one week check up he showed me an implant and said he removed that much from each hip. I can't even tell, and I'm not overweight! I know bloating is common, it's just really hard to look at myself in the mirror and wonder what the heck I spent your money on because I literally see no difference. When I'm up at night thinking, I wonder if I have body dysmorphia that keeps me from seeing myself as I really am. Maybe there are big changes and I'm blind?
Yesterday I got a lymphatic massage, following recommendations I read on the lipo boards. It felt really nice, but again, no difference at all. So I followed all the doctor's instructions and then some, I haven't touched alcohol in two months, I've taken all my supplements religiously, worn the garment 24/7 as instructed, drank tons of water. Clearly it hasn't helped.
I know I sound very negative, but that's my reality right now. I thought I'd be jumping for joy every time I got dressed. Instead I dread waking up and having to clothing that fits.
I'm also posting update breast pics separately.
Updated on 22 Mar 2016:
Pictures from three weeks out. Dr Hidalgo told me I needed to decide between a higher lift and larger areolae, or a not as high lift but larger areolae. I chose the first. Additionally, he told me my breasts are not perfectly symmetrical, and he can make them the same size but doesn't believe in forcing them to point a different way. I still have some scabs, but overall I got more than the results I expected, and I am happy.
Updated on 4 Apr 2016:
They seem to have dropped :(
Not unexpected but still would've been nice to have them higher.
I never feel uncomfortable in a bra anymore. Usually I was always aware of the underwire digging in somewhere, and couldn't wait to take off my bra at night. Now I can wear one 24 hours straight and forget I even have it on! It's such a great feeling.
Lipo bloating is mostly gone in the legs but still hanging out around my waist and hips.
Resumed yoga and pilates last week.
Updated on 4 Apr 2016:
Just found these pics I took during the first week post op...