After 14 botched revisions, with complications including sepsis and psuedamonis at another local hospital-I found Dr. Kubat at St. Lukes in Duluth, MN. This wonderful, kind-hearted doctor saved my life. Having tested positive for the ATM gene mutation, (breast, and other cancers risk) I chose to have double mastectomies with reconstruction. I did great with the tissue expander however, once they were swapped out for implants, I had so many infections including open and oozing incisions. About each month, I went back into surgery due to infections, and came out with yet another set of drains. I did not know until I asked to see my surgery notes that my implants were being taken out, rinsed, and re inserted. I had mesh underneath the implants that had gotten lost in scar tissue. By the time Dr. Kubat at St. Lukes opened me up, the mesh had twisted itself into scar tissue. It took several hours to cut it out. Some of my chest wall had to be replaced with cadaver tissue to make up the large indents in my chest. The photos of the removed mesh look like large steaks for an idea of the size of what came out of my chest. I also had fat transfer to even out my lopsided chest. I feel Dr. Kubat saved my very life. He sat with me for an hour at my first consult. He answered my questions with such kindness and compassion. I never felt rushed during the whole year's process. I recommend him for anyone needing a doctor who accepts a challenge with grace. I cannot say enough about the excellence in care. His whole staff played a giant part in my recovery from my horrific nightmare at the other large hospital in Duluth. I do not recommend having this surgery done with Phasix mesh.
So a little history, I have always been a thinner person but used to be more curvy than now. I started out with a 32C to 32D (depending on the brand) at the age of 14! 2 kids later and I have lost all fullness and wear a very padded 32B but a 32C from Victoria's Secret which I think must run very small! However my lovely friends say I look like I wear an A cup, ha ha thanks guys! I have considered implants since I had my son 11 years ago! Now my youngest is 3 and I decided there is no point in waiting any longer so I am ready to go for it. It's hard when you work hard to look good but still just don't feel as sexy as you could! I am sick of clothes not fitting me, I wear an XS and dresses rarely fit me I have to have the top altered all the time even with the biggest padded bra I can find. I have a very supportive boyfriend who is on board with my decision. I am certain on silicone, smooth and round. My PS thinks with my small chest width that Ultra High Profile would be best for me. He originally suggested 200-300cc but trying on the sizers didn't seem like a big enough change so I am leaning towards the 375 or 400 now. I am not seeing as many people out there with the UHP so maybe I can find some others who can advise me! pictures to come just getting set up :) Updated on 10 Jan 2016: Finally got some pics up Updated on 10 Jan 2016: Updated on 17 Jan 2016: Can't decide on 375 or 400. I don't think there is really that much difference but I want that happy medium of big enough but not over the top! I'm sure most of us feel that way! Also the profile is a tough one too! My PS had me convinced that UHP would be best for me being very small and now I am afraid they will be too much projection. I have heard from a few ladies that they worked well for them. Updated on 19 Jan 2016: Starting to get nervous about the recovery process and need some support! I live alone with my 2 kids who are 3 and 11. My boyfriend currently lives 1,600 miles away and won't be able to come for the surgery due to being in the Coast Guard :( I will have my mom the first couple days but after that will be intermittent help! I will have 10 days off work total, I work as a nurse in a clinic office so the going back to work shouldn't be so bad, more so worried about getting my preschooler strapped into my SUV and any shoveling that may come up! Updated on 23 Jan 2016: This is me in a tank and 32C VS padded pushup (don't remember the style name). Sadly doesn't do much for me! Updated on 29 Feb 2016: I am so excited and nervous! Also a bit scared I am going to pick up my sweet little daughter's bug! She has a high fever and cough for 2 days and of course needs to snuggle! Just taking my emergen C and hoping for the best! Ready to get this going feels like I've been waiting forever! Updated on 29 Feb 2016: Had my final appointment last week. Discussed my likes and dislikes and my ps thinks I may prefer HP over UHP. Size not final but I am trusting him with what I want. He will try between 275 to 400CC to see what looks best. I am hoping to gain 2 cup sizes without looking like I have huge, round melons on my chest! Updated on 3 Mar 2016: I have so much nervous energy I can't get to sleep! Lots of excitement and nervousness too! Going in sooo early I have to be up in about 4 hour now! Surgery center isn't far but have to arrive at 630 and need to get a good shower in :) Updated on 4 Mar 2016: Surgery was early this morning! I was a nervous mess but once I talked to my doc he made me feel much better :) i gave him control of the size as you really.don't know the outcome until the implant is in place! My wish pics we on the walls of the OR and the team tries several implants until they feel they look perfect! I do know he went with Natrelle 375 cc but I am not sure on the profile yet. It was either HP or UHP. Besides feeling very dizzy and groggy out of surgery, pain was minimal with the IV meds. The nurse had me take 1 5mg oxycodone when they unhooked me thinking that would cover it. Well it certainly did not! Pain was increasing fast and by the time I got home (only about 30 mins including pharmacy stop) I was at an unbearable 8/10 pain in my chest! Now I have had plenty of injuries and 2 c sections and this was bad :( it took abiut 3 hours to get it under control and my mom had to go pick up Valium for me as well. The doctors office was very fast and helpful in getting this for me. So now my plan is to take 2 pain pills exactly every 4 hours, and 1 valium every 6 at least for the first 2 days. I have my phone alarm set! So best advice is to really stay ahead of your pain! I am like a new woman on this schedule! Pain staying about 3 to 4/10 now much better. So i keep my surgical bra on non stop for the next week and I am not allowed to peak ha ha so I will try to behave my best. I might post pics tomorrow but not much to see yet :) Updated on 5 Mar 2016: Updated on 7 Mar 2016: Slept awesome last night! Still woke up groggy but stretching out the pain pills to try and stay awake a little better. Cut back to 7.5 mg oxycodone and 2.5 mg valium every 6. Still helps pain and I'm slightly more awake anyway! Going to try to cut back to less tomorrow again so I can get out of the house with a friend for a bit. Really hard to tell what my results are like with the bra on for 4 more days! I unzipped a little but they definitely don't look so high like everyone elses, not sure if that is good or bad? Lol time will tell I guess! Updated on 7 Mar 2016: I was by no means looking forward to the "square top" franken boobs but since I've seen them so frequently on here makes me think something isn't right with mine? I had a pretty good size for my frame 375 CC HP so should be plenty big in the long run just looking for some opinions! I know I have a great surgeon but didn't think it was necessarily abnormal to look good already?! Updated on 10 Mar 2016: Feeling decent in the pain department, just one percocet this morning but very tired still! So just listening to my body and getting rest in since I will have my kids back tomorrow for the weekend! I am dying to see the results, I know things are still pretty high. I had nipple sensation last night so hoping that is a permanant thing! Heard so many lose that in the process! Should have much better pics tomorrow! Updated on 11 Mar 2016: So made it through the first week! Actually got lots of sleep in my recliner thanks to the pain meds/Valium otherwise don't think I would have gotten any! On my own with the kids for the weekend now so hoping to enjoy the nice weather tomorrow. Post op went very well. I had been on just Tylenol during the day the last couple days however armed myself with a percocet for the appointment and glad I did! Taking off the bra and bandages was both painful and a relief! My ribs felt funny to have released the pressure. Doc showed me some massages to start to loosen things up as they are still a bit high. Incisions a little tender but first dressing change so never even noticed them before. My right side is a little lower but it was to begin with. My PS believed the asymmetry was corrected by how things looked in the OR but can't say for sure this early what will finally happen. Either way he and I are very pleased with the results at this stage. He approved of a cuter bra I bought on Amazon but now have to wear the strap to push these babies down. It is hard to get used to and not the easiest to take a deep breath! I think the strap is giving me back pain too unless I just over did it today. The stitches out next Thursday due to my work schedule so hope I can ditch the strap then too! Got the ok to try sleeping in bed with pillows to support on my side. Might try the chair first without the meds since kids are here and if doesn't work will try the bed. Have yet to drive since I needed the pain pill today but maybe tomorrow! Updated on 11 Mar 2016: Updated on 12 Mar 2016: I may have been a little more active yesterday but really mostly walking, not using my arms or lifting. At my follow up PS added the strap on my chest, felt tight and hard to breath at first but nothing too bad. But by about 8 pm last night, my ribs, my back, even my incisions which I never noticed before were all killing me! It was pain like day 1 and new pain I hadn't even felt before like my nipples are burning and just the whole entire area around my ribcage is just awful. For the first time since surgery I couldn't fall asleep and my little one was up bugging me at 530 :( pain still the same after up and moving. Anyone had problems with this strap? I was wearing it under for the first week with no problems at all! Updated on 12 Mar 2016: Sutures out next week, not looking too bad, a little tender but just over a week out! Next week I start Mederma and silicone sheets. Updated on 14 Mar 2016: So I'm happy to say I have bilateral nipple sensation! Really hope it stays that way! However other random numb areas which makes doing the massages a little creepy feeling! They are still so firm I don't like touching them yet, wish my boyfriend was here to do it for me :( on a good note, getting used to the strap and things are looking pretty good, lot's of dropping and fluffing yet of course! Updated on 17 Mar 2016: Had my 2 week follow up today! Stitches out and looking good, got to ditch the "strap of death" ha ha so glad! It feel great to get rid of it! Doc says things are dropping nicely and I may have a close to end result early like by 4 to 6 weeks! Then I get to go bra shopping yay! Still have to wear a sports bra 24/7 and limit activity but he said ok to wear occasional "pretty" wire free bra for under different clothing. I go back in 2 more weeks to check progress hope it keeps up this rate, still sore taking Tylenol and very firm! Updated on 20 Mar 2016: Still happy with my result, just looking forward to them softening up! Slept in bed for the first time and that was not comfortable, I really got used to the recliner! Was a lot more sore this morning when I got up! But I am sticking with it to get back to normal life! Updated on 21 Mar 2016: Finally shopped around for some bras, sick of my sports bras and thought I'd find some wire free for the next few weeks, just want something with more shape and skinnier straps. Didn't go so well! Thought I'd check Walmart and Target for some cheap temporary buys. Nothing fit me!!! They start out with a 34 band size and I needed at least a D! I bought one wireless 34D nursing bra out of desperation lol. I went to PINK and was sized by a lovely 16 year old at a 32B ummm nope haven't worn that since I was 12 lol. They didn't have any options anyway. So went to VS which we have a huge one here and found sooo many cute wirefree bras! I was so excited and got properly fitted this time by a more experienced worker! My size.........30DDD ha ha ha crazy! Of course they don't carry such a thing in the store! She brought me a 32D it was a no go ha ha then a 32DD was ok but I could tell that band would be too loose after wearing it for a while. And offf course all the cute wirefree styles not in my size! Not discouraged actually found it funny but I am still left with very few bras I like at the moment! I can special order 30DDD in some styles online, will just wait a few more weeks. Going to visit my boyfriend in Maine in a few weeks and he owes me a few so he is taking me shopping :) Updated on 23 Mar 2016: So my post-op instructions are to wear a bra (wireless/sportsbra) 24/7 until 4 weeks. Seemed like a comfortable plan but I think the constant friction is getting to them and they hurt and the skin is just peeling now :( Anyone have this happen? I started putting some Vanicream ointment on but it seems to just either stick to the bra or make them more sensitive! I was thinking about lanolin like from nursing days but think that will have the same effect! Any tips would be so apprecitated!! Updated on 27 Mar 2016: So I am just over 3 weeks post op and I started to notice very slight more fullness to the right breast which I had prior to surgery. But it's suddenly like I woke up this morning and bam! My PS was trying to correct this during surgery without using different sized implants which would have most likely overshot the left breast then I would just have the same problem different breast. So he was very happy with the results in the OR said the way he did the pockets they looked perfectly equal right away. This morning I can't tell what's going on! It seems like my right nipple is lower but the left implant seems to have already dropped so I don't know how they will even out :( I understand this can happen early on I just really really hope this will not be permanant! Updated on 2 Apr 2016: Saw my ps, maybe for the last time yesterday (unless I have any concerns can go back at anytime)! Things are looking good! I will always have some asymmetry because I started out like that but so far it is better than before! Sometimes you have to look at your before pics again to be reminded! I was starting to feel like they were too far apart also but they were like that before too so when I had my naturally large breasts they were probably like that too but it's been 12 years lol! I am getting less and less sore and softening up. My ps thinks they won't change a whole lot more but will get little softer. He recommends wearing a comfortable bra at night as much as possible! It's sort of like a retainer with braces, I get it lol. I can now wear whatever bras are comfortable but he would prefer limiting underwires for a couple more weeks. Overall I am very happy just looking forward to getting softer and having a little bounce to them, pretty solid still lol Updated on 10 Apr 2016: So I need to wear a swimsuit for the first time next week and already being pastey and in MN I am in need of a little color fast! I am not huge into tanning but only for special occasions. Going to visit my boyfriend and we are taking the kids to a waterpark! I want to use an Ultrabronze bed which burns less maybe once or twice before I go. I know I need to protect my scars, anyone have any tips? I was thinking of just wearing my silione strips because they have a backing like a bandaid but have no idea if it will be enough protection or how they will hold up in the bed! Updated on 23 Apr 2016: So its been a while life got busy as usual! I finally got to visit my boyfriend in Maine so he got to see the girls for the first time! He was pretty happy with how they look but can tell they still feel weird to him :( I am hoping they still soften up a lot more! They have changed a lot but they do not feel normal at all, still so firm on the bottom half and they barely move so I feel like they look very fake at times. Hoping its still early enough to see some changes! I am also still very numb from below the nipples to the incision so its a weird feeling! I really am happy with the look but some days I feel like they are too big especially wide and some too small depending on what I'm wearing lol. I was able to finally get some 30DDD bras on my trip so that is exciting! I also found a couple 32DD today at Kohls that fit nice. I am slowly building up my bra collection again! Swim suit shopping was extra challenging! I finally found a medium top that fit but took trying about 30 on! Some larges were too small in the cup but too big in the straps! Just comes with having boobs I guess I will take it ha ha. Well I hope everyone is doing great :) Updated on 11 Jun 2016: Anyone else experience this, I tried some padded pushup bras at VS a month and a half ago and figured it was too early since they just didnt fit right. Its like my boobs just sit on top of the padding funny and the bra gets pushed lower on my ribs, its not flattering :( so thought I would wait, picked up a handful of beautiful bras at the semi annual sale for $19 each in my size and was so excited! Some were Very Sexy push up. Well lots of padding. I know I don't need it but I still want to enhance cleavage. Got them home and still the same problem :( I wonder if there is any hope? Maybe they are still too firm? Not sure I should just return them all or wait
I had a baby in 2009 and lost what little breast tissue I had. I felt very self-conscious and always bought push-up bras and shirts that hid my flat chest. I had my surgery 4/24/12. I chose 325cc silicone implants (Allergan Natrelle style 20), HP, smooth and round. I wanted a natural look and that's definitely what I got. I went from a 34A to a 34DD and couldn't be happier! I finally feel like a woman! :)Updated on 10 Dec 2012:Wanted to add that I went under the muscle with the inframammary incision.Updated on 12 Dec 2012:I spoke to my surgeon today and my next appointment has been moved up to mid-January. I was originally told that until it had been a year after surgery that he wouldn't consider a revision just because that's the time window that they prefer to leave for the healing process. I called back again today and spoke to my coordinator, she understood how I felt and did recognize that at about 6-9 months most would say that the healing process is complete but they prefer the 1 year mark. She said that my surgeon knew that I was unhappy and wasn't pleased so he would be willing to talk about my options with me and ultimately if a revision was what I felt was necessary then he'd do it. I feel so relieved because I was feeling like they didn't understand where I was coming from but I'm happy he is willing to understand my perspective. :) I'm thinking that I might need to discuss a small change in size on the left side. I have a rib on that side that pokes out just slightly so that also pushes up the implant as well as it being on the heart side. So I'm thinking if I go to a slightly smaller implant like a 300cc or so it'll help to balance it out on top and then the bottom can be nice a full with the pocket opened up!Updated on 13 Jan 2013:I'm meeting with my surgeon to discuss my revision surgery and schedule it too so that's not too far away!. It's not a huge deal but I'm uncomfortable with having 2 boobs that I feel are pretty opposite of each other. Thank you for all the kind comments! I do appreciate it! My revision will be costing my $2600, and looking to drop lefty and create more lower-pole fullness to match my right side. I'm also adding a few new photos too but nothing has really changed! :P I can't wait for BooBieFul! :D
I am beginning this journey at 38 years-old, try to get a tummy tuck (the fancy word actually being getting a "panniculectomy.") I can no longer stand the apron of a stomach I have in front of me. I lost half my body weight over ten years ago, I had a daughter four years ago, and this hanging skin has been in my life for too long. It's time to say farewell to it. Updated on 19 May 2015: Well, yesterday I had my wonderful photo shoot at my plastic surgeon's office where they have you flash your pannis and get it memorialized on digital camera to be sent to the dreaded insurance company to see whether or not they will pay for your surgical procedure or not. (I used to work for an insurance company for many years so I know the ins and outs of HMO insurance providers and how insurance works like a professional; I never thought I'd know so much about them). Anyway, I have always been self-conscious about this part of my body and have loathed it all my life. The nurse was trying to be so sweet while she was snapping away stating: "Don't worry; we are not getting your face in any of these photos. We never get anyone's face in these photos." I know that's suppose to make me feel better but still. I know many of you out there reading this will be nodding when you read: I know that, but it doesn't make any difference. YOU ARE STILL TAKING PICTURES OF MY MOST EMBARRASSING BODY PART!!! And then you're e-mailing them to another person, who sees them, and then another person, who will forward them to another person, then to another, and the staff who will decide on medical necessity, and then another person will attach the photos to my medical file where they will sit under my name there forever. They won't even be destroyed. Ugh. Even though I know more likely than not there is not going to be someone who is desperate to see my medical photos (why would there be? Just check the Internet; you can find anything you want on there!), I still know they exist. I think you can tell I'm not someone who is going to wind up with a torrid video online someday! (LOL) Ahh.... anyway, where was I? Yes, the actual pre-op photos. As I am too shy to actually put MY body parts up to this blog, I am an artist, and I have DRAWN my own pre-op photos. I will have them posted shortly. Some plug-in, app, link-thing dealing with the all-in-one-printer is currently not working, so my wonderful husband is going to fix that for me so I can scan it in. I have already drawn it. Just need to post it. LOL, thinking about the experience, although I've never had it done myself, I liken having it done to being booked at a police station. You know, standing up against the wall with the height marks behind you? The nurse tells you to stand straight, turn to your right (but it's at a 3/4 turn, not full on side), then turn left (again, 3/4 turn), and instead of holding the chalkboard with your name and convict number, you have to lift your pannis up so you show the skin underneath the apron and if it's red, rashy, split, etc. Oh, man, what a day. I'm thinking I should have gone and had my photos taken after I went to a park with my husband. We hiked around for about a half an hour and after that I was all broken out and split under my pannis. The day I went for the consult I was nice and smoothed skinned because I took it easy, took a shower and wanted to look all pretty. I think that may harm me instead of helping me... Anyway, photo/drawings to follow. My plastic surgeon's office sounds like a 'As Seen on TV' commercial. I should hear something about my surgical procedure's approval or denial anywhere between "4 to 6 weeks." That's very frustrating for me because I am an impatient soul. I am not very good at waiting for things. Especially since when I worked in insurance and know the usual turnaround time for approval/denial (at least for the company I worked for) was no longer than five working days. Usual time for routine approval/denial requests was three days or else management would get all over us like a bad rash. Like a bad pannis rash. :-)) More soon! Updated on 28 May 2015: Here are my Photo/Drawings as promised in my previous blog. Looking confused? Read what I wrote and you'll be completely up to speed, I assure you! :-D Updated on 2 Jul 2015: After the first attempt at receiving approval I was and now I just have to wait for the plastic surgeon's office to schedule me for me surgery. I was all ready to go through a denial and the appeal process with them since I am always half empty when it comes to things like this. But the first attempt it was go! Yea! Well, to give the viewers at home an idea of my size, when I'm sitting, my stomach slides out onto my thighs approximately 8 inches, so I barely have a lap. Try luggin' THAT pannis around with you every day! Oh, and a "figures, only happens to ME moment." I went to consult with the surgeon WEEKS back like I wrote. The nurse said I needed to wait four to six weeks for an answer. I did that. About four and a half weeks I called my insurance to ask what the answer was, they had no idea what I was talking about. Next I call the surgeon's office. After some sleuthing it was realized no one put my request for surgery in. UGH! I WAITED FOUR WEEKS FOR NOTHING!!! But now the did it right, I waited less than a week, and the ball is rolling. Will keep you all posted! Updated on 13 Jul 2015: Things are going unexpectedly well before my surgery. Things are getting authorized, signatures are being places on the right lines, Insurance is paying for my panni, and I am fortunate enough to be able to get an upper abdominal tummy tuck. NOW I look in the mirror and talk to myself. "See this? Well take a great big look cuz you're not going to be here for much longer!" ha ha. I'm actually in a dream state that this is actually coming true. I am over the moon with this. And for all those going what I'm going through, waiting, hoping, not knowing their status yet...keep up the faith. So my official countdown is 41 days until my surgery!!!! WOO HOO!!!
